Chapter Thirty

Because I’m a nice sister and friend, I wait in the car to give Kashvi and Andrew some time to say goodbye. When Andrew sits down in the passenger seat, his smile tells me that this won’t be the last time he sees her.

“You and Kashvi, huh?” I ask, and pull out of the parkinglot.

“We’re going to hang out again in a few days. And she said she’d come see me after practice too. It turns out she’s really into soccer.”

That’s true. I remember her saying the same thing to me. I still don’t love the idea of him dating Kashvi—it’s hard not to see Andrew as my annoying little brother—but they do have some similar interests and it’s not my place to dictate who she spends time with. Although, for my sanity, I’m going to imagine them as completely platonic friends.

“Sorry if I ruined this morning,” I tell him.

“Actually, I think you showing up like that worked out well. Now that you know about us, she seems more relaxed. So thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. But you better not do anything stupid and hurt her.”

“I won’t.” He slouches down in his seat. “So if you weren’t talking her out of dating me, what was so important that you had to kick me out of the coffee shop?”

“Nothing.”

He sits up. “Oh no, if your voice sounds like that, then I need to hear this. Unless it’s some weird girl thing I don’t want to know about.”

“It’s not a weird girl thing, ” I say, rolling my eyes. “I needed to talk to her about Logan.”

“Ugh, him.”

“You don’t get to say any of that now. I’m not going to be cool with your relationship just to have you crap on mine at every turn.” Assuming Logan and I still have a relationship after the conversation this afternoon at D&D.

“Kashvi is already your friend and I’m your brother. There’s nothing to get over—we’re both awesome. But that dude—”

“Logan.”

“Logan is…” He shakes his head. “I don’t like guys looking at my sister like that. You can’t trust guys.”

I laugh. “So I should tell Kashvi to stay away from you since you’re a guy?”

“You know what I mean. I don’t count.”

“Uh, yeah you do. And I heard about that little conversation you had with Logan. That was over-the-top.”

“It’ll keep him on his toes.”

“Oh my god, Andrew.” I shake my head and turn onto our street. I don’t want to tell him this, but it’s actually sweet that he’s being so protective. “How about we agree to be generally supportive of each other? Kashvi is amazing, so—if you’re lucky enough to have her attention—I’m happy for you. I can’t think of a better person for you to be with.”

“Thanks. And I guess Logan isn’t the worst guy I’ve evermet.”

“So kind of you.” I pull into our driveway and turn to him. “I appreciate you being worried about me. It was unnecessary and a little embarrassing, but it means a lot that you care.” I squeeze his hand.

He pulls away and ducks his head in embarrassment. We don’t share emotions with each other. “Any brother would do it. It’s part of the code.”

“Maybe. But I’m glad you’re my brother.”

He gags dramatically. “Ugh, stop, I’m going to puke.”

I get out of the car, laughing. His words only egg me on more. “But I loooove you. And now we get to spend all our time together. We can go on double dates, talk about our feelings, share our hopes and dreams. We can play couples pickleball together!” I clap my hands. “It’ll be so fun!”

He glares over the top of the car at me. “You’re describing my nightmares, but you aren’t talking me out of dating Kashvi.”

“I’m not trying to. I love the idea,” I tease. “We can finally get to know each other again, like we did when we were little.”

“One car ride is enough time together for now.” He shakes his head and hurries into the house, closing the door behind him.

I roll my eyes. He’s still my twerpy little brother. I pocket my phone and head toward the house, only to have him open the door again and poke his head out.

“My favorite movie is Deadpool , and my lucky number is eleven.”

“Your jersey number?”

His eyes widen. “Yeah. I’m surprised you know that.”

“Not as surprised as I am that you’re rattling off random information all of a sudden.”

He shrugs. “Just feels like that’s the kind of stuff a sister should know about her brother. You know, if we’re sharing.”

“Oh. Um, thanks.”

He walks back inside, and I stand in the cool March sunlight, dumbfounded once again by him. Huh. This might be the start of a new world with Andrew.

I text Logan to tell him that I’m leaving for the game soon and that we should talk before getting there. I expect an immediate response, but nothing comes. Tension coils through me even though I know it doesn’t mean anything. He could be busy with the farm or driving to the game right now. Except when I pull up in front of Kashvi’s house, Logan’s truck is already here.

What the hell?

He had time to come here early but not to text me back? A sinking feeling fills me. Something isn’t right.

“Logan’s already here?” I ask Kashvi as soon as I walk in the door.

She nods and beckons me to the basement stairs. “Looks like it. I just got home a few minutes ago, so I haven’t been downstairs.”

I hesitate. All my confidence about talking to the others falls away as I see the now-familiar worn gray carpet on the stairs. What’s going on with Logan? And what will the others say when they find out about us?

Kashvi pauses. “Have you talked to him?”

“No, that’s the issue. I texted him and he hasn’t replied.”

She bites her lip. “Maybe he didn’t see it? Or his phone is dead?”

Maybe. But highly unlikely.

She tugs me down the stairs. “No more stressing. And remember, I’ve got your back.” But then we both pause again when harried voices come from the basement. She hurries down the stairs, with me in her wake.

Logan is here, and he’s leaning over the game table toward Mark and Sanjiv, his palms flat against the surface, like he’s a CEO of a corporation trying to convince the board to approve a merger. Sloane stands in the far corner of the room looking worried. They all swivel to watch me as I walk in. My eyes go to Logan, but rather than him looking happy or relieved, his face falls in frustration and he runs a hand through his hair.

“What’s going on?” Kashvi asks. “And why is everyone here so early?”

“Sanjiv texted that the router wasn’t working, so I came over to help while you were out,” Mark explains. “We got that fixed, but then Sloane was still having issues with the livestream, and we wanted to make sure everything went perfectly today—”

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Sanjiv interrupts. “Quinn, you’re thinking about quitting D&D? Why would you want to do that?”

My eyes flare wide in shock. What’s going on?

“No, that’s not what I said.” Logan waves his hands frantically.

I spin to him. “Then what were you saying? And why didn’t you text me back?”

“Logan didn’t say you were quitting,” Sloane says, and takes a seat at the opposite end of the table from where they usually sit as DM so that they’re between Logan and me. Their voice is low and cautious, like they know things are about to get out of control and they’re trying to talk us all down. “He said that if you brought up quitting today, then we had to promise we wouldn’t let you no matter what. Though he wouldn’t explain why you’d be thinking about it.” Sloane shoots him an accusatory glance. “I thought you were happy playing with us?”

“I am happy— so happy to be part of this and to be friends with you all.” I slide into my seat and Kashvi does the same. I make sure to look at each person so they can see that what I’m saying is genuine. “I don’t want to quit.”

“That’s great,” Sanjiv says, “but then why are you freaking out, Logan? She’s fine.”

I pin a glare at him. “Why would you sneak over here early when we agreed we were going to talk ahead of time?”

“I don’t know.” Logan rubs both hands over his face and through his hair again. “I guess because I thought you were going to do the same thing and I wanted to beat you to it? The way you were talking last night about how you had to do something…I started thinking you were going to come here early and quit before I could stop you. Yesterday you said that was the solution.”

“Wait, so there is talk of quitting?” Mark asks.

“You should have waited.” My voice is low and my words are only for Logan.

“I know,” he replies, though he doesn’t look remorseful. “But I wanted to take quitting off the table since that was the first place your mind went. And I knew if I said it while you were here, you’d fight me on it, so…”

“So you went behind my back?”

He leans forward, his eyes sharp. “Only because I refuse to let you quitting the group be a possible solution. That is not how we’re solving this.”

“Solving what ?” Sanjiv cries, and throws his hands up in the air.

“And did you ever stop to think that maybe we should be coming up with these solutions together?” I snap.

“I would if you’d tell me what was going on inside your head instead of keeping secrets.”

“Okay, someone needs to stop and explain why you’re fighting,” Mark commands.

“We’re not fighting,” we say simultaneously.

“You’d better start making sense or I’m going to make you both quit,” Sloane says, their annoyance sharp enough to cut.

My heart is racing, and I clamp my mouth shut. Thoughts spin as I try to decide the best way to explain things without saying anything I shouldn’t.

“It’s me,” Kashvi says matter-of-factly. “I’m the reason she was acting that way. She wanted to talk to me first.”

Logan squints in confusion and the others look bewildered as well, but that’s their natural state at this point. I turn to her and shake my head to tell her she doesn’t have to do this. She only shrugs.

Kashvi lifts her chin to Logan. “You’re cute. I had a crush on you, and I told Quinn, and she didn’t want to tell you my personal business.”

“Oh, I…um,” Logan bumbles, looking deeply uncomfortable, but Kashvi laughs it off.

“It’s okay. It’s not that deep. I already have my eye on someone else.” She winks at me.

“You had a crush on Logan ?” Sanjiv cries. “Kashvi, ew, that’s disgusting! You know we don’t date each other. That would be like me dating Sloane or Quinn or Mark.” He looks like he might be sick.

“Nice,” Sloane says bitterly. But they give me a significant look and I get the impression they might have already caughton.

“Okay, so here’s the thing,” I start.

Logan catches my eye, and my frustration from a few seconds ago disappears. It’s now or never. He opens his mouth, but I put up a hand. I need to be the one to say it.

“Logan and I kissed. I know it shouldn’t have happened, I know we promised we would never get involved with someone else in the group, but it happened.”

Sanjiv and Mark look thunderstruck, but not Sloane. “I’m absolutely shocked,” they say in a deadpan.

“You knew?” I ask.

“I wasn’t sure, but this explains a lot. You two have had vibes since the beginning.”

“Dude,” Mark mutters, and side-eyes Logan.

“So…what does this mean?” Sloane asks. They were quiet while we were bickering, but now that this relates to the game, they seem much more invested. “Is this why you two were talking about quitting?”

“It doesn’t need to go that far, does it?” Sanjiv looks around the table. “You already said you two know it shouldn’t have happened, so let’s just forget it and move on. We don’t need to make it a big deal.”

“Unless it is?” Sloane adds.

Kashvi’s eyes are on me, urging me to contradict her brother, but I don’t. Technically, Sanjiv is right. The kiss doesn’t have to change things. Logan and I could play it off as nothing and the group could stay exactly as it is. That certainly would be the easiest way out of this conversation. Until the next time I’m alone with Logan, of course. But one more word and our group changes forever.

I steel myself before making eye contact with Logan. In the split second before I do, I decide it’s okay if his expression is hesitant. Of course he’d be unsure—he’s puttingall his friendships on the line for me. I’ll be okay if he wants to downplay what’s happened, despite his big talk last night.

But when our eyes meet, his expression is so full of reverence that my throat grows tight. No one has ever looked at me the way Logan is looking at me right now. Like I’m the most precious, beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He nods, and the small gesture is all it takes to calm my fears.

“I’m in love with Quinn,” he announces calmly. “It wasn’t just a kiss—not to me—and I’m not getting over it and I’m not giving her up, so don’t even try.” He turns to me, his eyes studying my expression. “I love you. And I’m with you for as long as you want me to be.”

My heart might just pop out of my chest and hop across the table to him. It would only be fair since it’s his now.

“I love you too,” I whisper.

He turns back to the others. “We really botched this whole thing. I’m sorry we lied to you and went against the agreement and told you in this ridiculous, chaotic way, but the end result is the same. I love her, and if you say she has to leave, then I’m leaving with her.”

Everyone sits in utter silence at his proclamation. Whatever Sloane thought they knew, it clearly wasn’t this. Even Kashvi looks taken aback, and Sanjiv might as well have smoke pouring out of his ears from all the new info.

My phone buzzes, but that’s the only sound in the room.

“I hope we can find a way to make this work,” I say. “I love Logan, but I also love all of you.”

“Well, I think it’s amazing,” Kashvi says loudly. She lays a hand on my arm. “The best news I’ve heard in forever.”

I hope the others will jump in immediately, reassuring us that it’s all going to be fine, but that doesn’t happen. Fear surges through me. Is this really their reaction? Silence?

The others blink and glance around at each other.

“Um…well…it’s definitely not how I thought today was going to go,” Mark says slowly. “But I’m cool withit.”

“I guess it’s time we reevaluate the rules if they’re causing this much chaos,” Sloane adds.

“We aren’t a group without you,” Kashvi tells me fiercely. “Or you, Logan.”

Sanjiv nods. “Honestly, I don’t care what you two do. I only agreed to that rule so none of you derelicts could date my sister. That’s all I care about.”

Kashvi gives me a quick, panicked look and I smirk. Good luck getting Sanjiv on board with Andrew.

“Just don’t make your characters turn all gushy and lovey in the game,” Mark adds. “You’re way more fun when you’re bickering.”

“Actually, if this is confession time, then Mark and I have something to tell you,” Sloane says.

My mouth drops open, but Sloane waves away my shock.

“Not that, dear god. Mark and I aren’t dating. Quinn, we know you were upset about your ex-friends trolling you in the chat and we wanted to do something to make you feel better. Mark and I started talking and decided it would be great if we could fill the chat with something positive. So we found the contact info for Stephanie from The Smiling DM podcast and asked her if she’d be willing to watch one of our sessions.”

“She never confirmed, but that’s why we were double-checking the internet connection when you got here,” Mark explains. “We didn’t want her to log in and then have our livestream go down.”

I sit back in shock. A quick glance at Logan’s surprised expression tells me that he didn’t know about this either. “You actually did that for me?”

“What do you mean actually ? Of course we did. Not that it came to much, but we thought it would be a fun surprise if we could pull it off.” Sloane smiles and tugs on their crocheted hat.

I’d throw my arms around them, but they’re not one for physical contact. “That’s amazing. Thank you so much for caring enough to try. But I don’t care about the chat or anything they have to say anymore. They’re just bitter with nothing else to do.”

“The worst,” Mark agrees.

“And the guy’s a horrible kisser, from what you said,” Kashvi adds with a laugh.

My cheeks heat, but I can’t help smiling. “It was like he was trying to suction my lips off with his mouth.”

The others burst out laughing, though Sloane pushes away from the table with a shiver. “He’s a loser, no doubt, but that’s more info than I need.”

“You can only go up from there,” Sanjiv tells Logan.

“All right, can we please get back to D&D now?” Mark asks. “This is a game table, not a feelings table, and I still need to figure out how to use this salt water to test the balance of my dice.”

Logan stands and I follow him. Sure, I love the group, but after the things he just said, I don’t want to wait one more second without kissing hi—

“It’s two-ten!” Kashvi’s voice is an octave higher than usual.

“The livestream should have started ten minutes ago!” Sanjiv cries. “Now we’ve lost our audience for today!”

“Ummmm.” Kashvi’s face is panicked as she holds up her phone to the group. “Andrew just texted—”

“No time, get in your chairs. It might not be too late,” Sloane commands. They rush to the other end of the table where their laptop is. “I bet some viewers will wait around for us. I’ll just…”

Sloane’s voice trails off. The blood drains from their face. Something is clearly very wrong.

“Please don’t kill me,” they whisper.