Chapter Twenty-Nine

I’m so exhausted from the insanity of yesterday that I sleep in longer than usual on Saturday morning. But as soon as I’m coherent, I force myself to text Kashvi to ask if I can come over to talk.

Kashvi: I’m out right now, but can you stay after the game?

Quinn: I really need to talk to you before. It might not takelong.

There’s a pause as a text bubble pops up to let me know she’s writing back.

Kashvi: I should be done in an hour or two. I’ll text you when I’m home. There’s a pause and then another text pops up. Is everything okay?

I bite the inside of my cheek.

Quinn: Yeah. See you soon.

I take my time getting ready and finally go downstairs to find my parents still in their pajamas, whispering over their coffee cups.

“Late night?” I ask, surprised. Usually they’re up early.

Dad takes a long sip of coffee. “Yesterday was a roughone.”

“Yeah, I slept like death,” I reply. “Have you talked to Grandma this morning?”

“I called when I got up,” Dad says. “She sounded good. Almost contrite, though that won’t last long, knowing my mother. How are you feeling?”

“No pain if that’s what you mean.” I sit down on the couch.

“Are you heading out immediately?”

I check my phone, but there’s still no word from Kashvi that she’s ready. “No.”

“Would you mind picking Andrew up from Brennans Cafe?” Mom asks. “I dropped him off this morning, but I have some work I need to catch up on. It would be a bighelp.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. What’s he doing there? Is it a fundraiser for soccer or something?”

Dad and Mom exchange an amused glance. “Andrew’s on a coffee date.”

I laugh. “A coffee date? He’s fifteen. ”

“I guess the girl was hesitant and this is all she’d agree to,” Dad says with a chuckle.

Interesting. Andrew has to put some work in with this girl. I like her already.

I grab my keys. “Well, you’ve piqued my interest now.”

“Hey, Quinn?”

I turn to find Mom studying me. “We’ve watched a few of your livestreams. I hope you don’t mind.”

My shoulders hunch forward. Ugh, there’s too much on my mind right now to get into a big discussion about this, particularly if they’re about to remind me of other extracurriculars I could be doing on the weekends or that they “don’t get” why I spend my time on D&D.

Dad puts his mug on the coffee table. “I can’t say I understand it—”

My shoulders slump.

“—but you certainly seem happy doing it. It’s pretty funny watching your group fight monsters.”

“Yeah?” I shuffle my feet hesitantly. “You didn’t hate it?”

“Of course not,” Mom says. “How could we hate it when you love it so much?”

I glance back and forth between them as the tension drains from my body. “Um, well, thanks for watching. Though it’s kind of mortifying too.”

They smile and shoo me away. “Try not to tease Andrew too much when you pick him up!” Mom calls as I head out the door.

I spend the drive trying to imagine who this girl might be. I don’t know many people in Andrew’s year, so I doubt I’ll recognize her, but regardless of what my parents say, I’m totally teasing him on the way home. He doesn’t even like coffee. I bet he got the sweetest mocha whipped cream concoction they serve.

When I pull into the crowded parking lot at the coffee shop, my stomach does a flip-flop. I recognize one of the cars. But I push the suspicions from my head. There’s no way.

Absolutely zero way.

I jump out of my car and hurry to look in the cafe window.

Omigod, it is Andrew and Kashvi.

I gasp so loud that the harried middle-aged woman walking into the shop flinches as she passes me. The two of them are at a booth, each with a drink and a smile on their face. They aren’t holding hands or kissing, but the way they’re leaning over the table toward each other looks more than friendly.

Another customer walks in, but I stay in place staring at them like a stalker. How is this possible? Is Andrew actually on a date with Kashvi right now? This is where she was this morning when I texted? The rational part of me says that I need to calm down and not jump to conclusions. Maybe his date fled after two words with him, and Kashvi happened to be here and came over to comfort him? Maybe Dad misunderstood and this isn’t a date, just a…weird, secret friendship hangout?

I step closer to the window. Oh no, he just laid his hand palm-up on the table. And—it’s like watching a train wreck—she’s putting her hand in his with a shy smile.

Knock, knock.

I lurch away from the window. The guy on the other side of the glass shakes his head and gives me a hard look. I wince with embarrassment. I practically had my face pressed into the glass. I’m such a creeper.

I march into the coffee shop, mindless and freaking out.

“Andrew?”

I stand at their booth, hands on hips, and wait for his reaction. Dimly, it occurs to me that I’m acting a bit like he did when he found Logan and me in the kitchen, but this is totally different. This is Kashvi.

Andrew’s face morphs into an almost comical horrified expression. “What are you doing here, Quinn?” he asks. “Did you tell her about us?” he asks Kashvi.

Kashvi’s eyes grow round. She looks busted.

“Mom sent me to pick you up.” I look between them. “Are you two…together?”

“I—”

“We—”

They both stop and stare at each other. “Maybe you should sit down.”

I don’t know who to sit next to, and I want to be able to see the expressions on both of their faces, so I pull an empty chair over to their booth. We all sit in silence for a few seconds, and then Andrew chuckles. “This is awkward.”

“I mean, I knew you liked her, but—”

“Quinn,” Andrew says sharply.

“You told her you liked me?” Kashvi asks in a soft voice.

Andrew’s neck is pink and blotchy. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

I glance between them, dumbfounded. My stomach feels like it’s been tossed around in the dryer for a few hours, but I guess I have no right to be angry given the confession I need to make to Kashvi. The way they’re looking at each other…Oh wow. I don’t think this is going to be over after a coffee.

Kashvi turns to me. “This is our first time hanging out. I know I should have said something to you before, but I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I decided it was better to wait and tell you everything after today.”

“And how’s it going so far?” Andrew asks with a cocky smile. His eyes are sparkling in a way that some girls (who are not related to him) might find, well, charming.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Kashvi replies, returning the smirk. “But let’s see how the next twenty minutes go.” She turns to me, her expression changing to worry. “Are you mad? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I’m not mad. I’m…trying to process.”

Honestly, I want to be angry. I can almost see the red at the edges of my vision—because how could she meet my brother like this and say nothing—except I don’t have a leg to stand on. Kashvi and I are more similar than I ever realized. We’ve both been silent when we should have talked to each other, but my behavior has gone way beyond an overpriced coffee.

“Cool,” Andrew says. “Can you give us another twenty minutes, then? Or forty-five?”

“Nice try. I need to talk to Kashvi. Now. Go kill time in Walmart until we’re done.”

“So you can talk her out of going out with me?” Everything in Andrew slumps. His expression is so dejected that it cuts right through me.

“No. I’m not going to do that. You two shocked me, but… maybe you’re a little bit cute together.”

They both look surprised, and it makes me laugh.

“Are you serious right now?” he asks. “You aren’t trying to lull me into a false sense of security just to get Kashvi alone and tell her how I drew horns on your Calico Critters when I was six?”

“Oh, believe me, if this situation between the two of you goes anyplace, then Kashvi will be hearing every childhood horror story I have to share. I need to watch her back. But I won’t go there today.”

He studies me for a moment and then stands. “I’m trusting you.” His expression softens as soon as he looks at Kashvi. “I’ll go see if I can find those cookies.”

I frown in confusion as he walks out the door, then take his place in the booth.

“I mentioned those dark chocolate cookies I like that Mom never buys,” Kashvi says, her voice tinged with surprise. “Please don’t hate me, but your brother is pretty cool. And hot.”

I shiver in disgust. “Those words are never to come out of your mouth again.”

“All right, let me have it. What makes Andrew such a monster that I should never speak to him again?”

“I was serious before—I’m not here about that. Andrew can be good when he wants to be. There’s something else I want to talk about.”

She waits expectantly.

“Okay.” But the words don’t come. I lick my dry lips and clear my throat. “So, I’m not sure how this thing with Andrew might change what I’m about to say, but either way I want to start by saying that I’m sorry it took me so long to talk to you about this. I love having you as a friend and I didn’t want to jeopardize that, but that’s no excuse. I’ll never forget the way you welcomed me that first week.”

She grows still. “Quinn, you’re scaring me. What’s goingon?”

“Logan and I kissed last night.”

She blinks, but otherwise there’s no reaction. It’s as if we’re in a TV show and someone hit pause. I want to fill the silence with all my rationales and explanations, but I hold back. I owe her time to process too.

“You kissed?” she whispers finally. “How? I mean I know how, but why?” She shakes her head. “Sorry, I’m not making sense. I guess I know why—because you wanted to—but I’mjust…”

“Kashvi, I’m sorry. All this stuff with Andrew aside, I know you like Logan. You told me that and I kissed him anyway. Not to mention that we all agreed we wouldn’t get together with anyone in our group, and I broke that trust.”

“Give me a second….” She leans back onto the booth cushion. “I knew you were friends, obviously. And I knew you’d spent some time together helping your grandma, but…did this just come out of nowhere?”

I hesitate. She might be more empathetic if I softened the truth a bit, but I’m tired of keeping secrets. She needs to know what’s really been happening if there’s a chance for us to move past this.

“No, there’s been something growing between us for a long time now. I promise I’ve been trying to fight it—we both have—but Grandma and I got into a car accident last night, and—”

“Wait, you got into an accident ? You should have led with that! Are you okay?”

“We’re both okay. It was scary, but neither of us is hurt. It happened close to Logan’s farm, so I called him to pick me up, and…well, things happened.” I avert my eyes like a coward.

“Things like him kissing you.”

“I actually kissed him. But I’m pretty sure he would have done it if I hadn’t.”

I expect her face to contort with shock and anger. But she only sits there, her head cocked to the side, studying me. Then the corner of her mouth quirks up and she leans forward. “Is he a good kisser?”

My mouth drops open. “ That’s what you want to know?”

Her grin spreads. “I have to say, I’ve always been curious. He seems like he would be.”

I blink and look around the cafe in case a group of choreographed actors is about to jump out and scream, “Psych! You’re the worst friend to ever exist!”

“Why aren’t you mad right now?”

She laughs and shakes her head.

“But I broke all the rules! I kissed someone you had a crush on?”

“Did you do it to hurt me? Or mess with the group?”

“ No. Of course not. We decided we’d stop being alone together, we made promises, but…”

“You couldn’t stay away from each other.”

I nod slowly.

“It sounds to me like you might be falling for him.”

I freeze. I’m scared to admit it aloud, but that’s exactly what it feels like. She must be able to read my expression, because she raises one eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.

“Quinn, how could I be mad about the fact that you’re head over heels for one of my closest friends? You may be trying to hide it right now, but everything about you is screaming it. It’s in your expressions and your voice and the way you talk about him. I wouldn’t deny you that…no real friend would.” Her curls are falling in her face, and there’s such sympathy in her expression that tears prick at my eyes.

“But what about all the things you said before about Logan? You have every right to hate me.”

“Logan is cute, and he’s crossed my mind on occasion, but it’s not like I was dating him. It was only a crush. But I am hurt that you didn’t tell me sooner.”

Now it’s my turn to lift an incredulous eyebrow. “You are literally on a secret date with my brother right now.”

She laughs and holds up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, you have a point. In my defense it was only coffee, but all right, we’ve clearly both been keeping some secrets. Although my secret is like two days old. How long have you been holding yours in?”

“Since maybe the first day I met you all?”

“Quinn! You liked him all this time and never told me? I thought we were friends!”

“We were! We are, hopefully! That’s why I didn’t want to tell you—I was scared of losing you.”

She blows out an exasperated breath. “That last group really messed you up. You’re lucky you found us.”

My heart soars. “So you really aren’t mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

I take a deep breath. I feel better than I have in months. I could run a marathon. I could bench-press this entire coffee shop.

“Thank god. Logan and I are planning to tell everyone else today at the game. What do you think they’ll say? Because I’m willing to step down if it makes things easier.”

“You absolutely will not do that! Where did you get that idea? Did Logan suggest it?”

“No, he reacted about the same as you.”

“Good,” she huffs, “or I was about to lose all respect for him.” She gives me an encouraging smile when she sees my worried expression. “No one is quitting. They love you and they love Logan—it’ll be fine.”

I’ve tried giving myself the same pep talk, but I never believed it until this second. I think everything is actually going to be okay. We’ll win them over.

I come around to the other side of the booth and pull her into a hug. “You’re the best.”

She has the audacity to laugh. “And you have too low of expectations. Though I’m going to need details now. One of the biggest benefits of best friendhood is getting all the gossip about people the other person dates.”

My heart clenches. “Best friends?”

“Is that too much, too soon?”

“ Definitely not.” I sit back on my side. “Although this is going to be a one-sided conversation, because I don’t want to hear anything about Andrew. How mad do you think he’d be if we abandoned him in this shopping center so we can go do fun best friend things?”

“We’re already doing best friend things. Speaking of which…” Kashvi takes a sip of her iced coffee and puts her chin on her hand with a devilish smile. “You never told me if Logan is a good kisser.”

I can’t help the way I grin and collapse into myself. One thought back to the way he spun me and pressed me against the wall in the shed and I’m a ball of goo with very pink cheeks.

She whistles. “Oh, it’s like that, huh? Then if things go well with Andrew, I might need Logan to share a few tips.”

“I know the rules didn’t work out for us before, but I’m instituting a new best friend rule: Thou shall never— ever —talk about kissing my brother.”