CHAPTER FOURTY-THREE TABATHA

CHAPTER FOURTY-THREE

TABATHA

I remember every word spoken during the ceremony. As much as I tried to avoid what was being said, I couldn't. I remember every sniffle, every sob, and every tear that fell from my eyes. The ceremony ended minutes ago and people have started to leave, but I stay seated as my eyes remain fixed on his casket. It's beautiful and hideous all at once.

It's black. All black. With chrome accents that cover the corners. I don't know why I'm still sitting here. I don't want to watch them put him in the ground. I don't want to say good-bye anymore. I want to say hello. I want to go back to the first time I saw him, and I never wanna let him go. I would do things so differently. I want to say that I choose him forever, but I don't get that option. Not anymore.

I look down at my purse sitting on my lap and start to dig through it. I had one thing that I wanted to do before I left here, and I'm going to do it.

I find what I'm looking for and pull it out. Jake takes my purse from me without me even asking and I stand. On shaky legs and a heavy heart, I walk over to the casket. It's open. It's been open for the past few minutes for people to say their good-byes. But I just couldn't find the will to do it until now.

He looks so different. So pale. So not Dash. His mother dressed him in a suit and I just want to rip it off him. He hated wearing suits. He preferred t-shirts and jeans. She knew nothing about her son.

I lift the small piece of paper to my lips and kiss it, leaving what little lip-gloss I had on the card that he had given me with the flowers. I then place it in his casket as I whisper, "I said yes." And then with a broken heart, I turn around and start to walk away, but a little boy stands in front of me. Tears run down his face as he looks up at me with bloodshot eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers brokenly.

I don't know what to say to him. Thankfully, Jake comes to stand beside me. "Thank you," he replies to the little boy and it sounds stupid.

"You're the one, the one that is in the photos with him that I see on TV?" he asks me and I nod as I wipe the tears from me face.

"I want you to have this." He turns around to the woman standing behind him and she hands him something when he turs back around to face me I almost fall over.

"His helmet," I take it from him with shaking hands and heart pounding. "How do you have it?" I ask trying not to fall over.

He looks guilty as he lowers his eyes to the ground. "He gave it to me. He signed it and gave it to me outside of a jewelry shop."

I look down and rub the tips of my fingers over the four letters where he signed DASH along with his number below it and my chest tightens. "Thank you," I say brokenly as I hug the helmet to my chest. This could have saved his life. This one thing could have made our dreams come true.