Chapter 20

Béke Day Five

"He was saying all the right things," I told Liliana as we dropped our horses off in the makeshift pen to one side of an arena that had been erected on the outskirts of Radence. Drazen had cleared this spot of snow, again, while a smattering of small arenas and roped-off areas marked the zones for each strength competition. A grandstand stood opposite us, filled with residents of the Iron Realm who had turned out to watch the competition. We'd have to pick a spot and cycle through each game until we'd finished them all.

"So what happened?" Liliana asked, sweeping her long braid over her shoulder.

We stopped at the nearest event table and gave our names before getting in line. "The dances were so sensual, I got caught up in them. We were kissing, and then he laid me on the floor. Ruslan showed up, and…" I trailed off, core flaming along with my cheeks at the memory. "They fought, then the three of us fucked. It was incredible, but after, Kazimir challenged Ruslan, and his eyes went pure black like there was not a bit of white left in them. I managed to siphon away some of whatever that was, and when he came back to himself, he acted like nothing had happened."

"First, that's hot as fuck and I expect more details later. Second, what the fuck," Liliana cursed, shaking her head at the ground. "Endre definitely knows what is going on with Kazimir. I will force it out of him. You need to know what you are choosing, Izidora."

I blew out a breath. "No kidding. I have a fucking headache constantly from the thoughts circling in my mind, and when I do manage to sleep, I'm torn back to reality by nightmares of what happens if I choose the wrong one. The sex was incredible and empowering but it didn't change any of my feelings."

Shouts rang out around us, and I craned my neck around the large males in front of us to glimpse what caused the commotion. Savich had hefted a boulder the size of three of me over his head, and sweat poured down his burly frame as the seconds ticked by. "Please tell me we don't have to lift that boulder," I groaned.

Liliana snorted. "We have to lift a boulder, but not that one. I think it weighs more than you, me, and Domi combined."

The aforementioned female pushed through the line of participants to rejoin us, glass bottles clinking in her arms. "Thank the Goddess, I really need a drink after what Izidora just told me."

Domi lifted a perfectly shaped black eyebrow, her eyes dancing with curiosity. "Oh? And what's that?"

Liliana used her silvery magic to pop the cork out of a bottle of red wine, then tipped it back and chugged. She released the lip with a sigh, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She handed the bottle to me before saying, "Kazimir's done some shit again."

Domi rolled her eyes, using her magic to uncork the other bottle. We clinked the lips of our wine bottles together before we both drank down greedy gulps. The red wine carried a hint of spice and smoke, and I licked my lips for every last drop before passing the bottle back to Liliana. It was bitterly cold and overcast, and the alcohol brought some warmth back to my veins.

"Lately, I am beginning to question what Kaztar sees in him. I know he saved them from that avalanche, but the way you talk about him, Izidora, makes me question which side is the real Kazimir," Domi murmured after a long moment.

"I've known him my whole life, and the side Kaztar likes is what I've seen up until the last few months. Maybe losing you broke something in his brain," Liliana offered.

"Whatever happened to him doesn't change the fact that I still have to make this fucking choice," I grumbled, tucking my fingers into my armpits to keep them warm. Someone's attention fell over me, sending a shiver down my spine, and when I glanced over my shoulder, Ruslan's smoky eyes bored into me from where he sat with Queen Immonen and Queen Viktoria on the raised platform, surveying the event. The females were bundled against the cold, and a row of braziers sent sparks into the air around them, offering what small reprieve they could.

My stomach dropped at the sight of the worry in his eyes, and I grew even colder than before. Domi nudged me with her elbow, offering me her bottle of wine. I accepted it gladly and took a long swig, wiping my mouth as we took a few steps forward. The other contestants had finally finished their round with the boulders. "From everything you've said, it sounds to me like Ruslan is the one you really want. You talk about how he understands you and sees you and that's all you've ever wanted, if that helps anything."

"But what if the male I love is the wrong choice?" I whispered my deepest fear into existence, hoping that this choice of light and dark wouldn't cause me to lose everyone I cared about.

Liliana grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Why does there have to be a right and wrong, or a good and bad? The prophecy doesn't say ‘if you choose the wrong one we're all fucked.' It says ‘there is a choice' and that ‘kings will fall and rivers will run with blood.' The fate of the world part is what people have interpreted."

For a moment, I considered if she was right.

"Prophecies are never that straightforward," Domi interjected, snuffing the spark of hope Liliana's words had given me.

"If someone could just decide for me that'd be great, thanks," I groused, setting the bottle in the dirt before walking to a boulder that looked light enough for me to lift. Liliana walked to one further down the line, and Domi selected the one beside me.

A whistle sounded, and the three of us, along with a few males past Liliana in the lineup, lifted the stones as high as we could, dropping them as soon as we had managed to hoist them overhead. Everyone passed the first round, so we stepped to the right, waiting for the signal to lift the next-largest boulder. Between the wine and the weight, sweat bled from my every pore, and after five more lifts, my shoulders gave out. I joined Domi on the sidelines, waiting for Liliana and the others in our round to finish.

Two males succumbed to the heavy stones after the next whistle, and although Liliana remained in the round, she was far behind King Consort Geza, who hefted the largest stone that Savich had struggled under. Thankfully, we were judged by the same classes we'd been given during the swords competition, otherwise, we females would have been – unfairly – at the bottom of the leaderboard.

Both Liliana and King Consort Geza failed to lift their stones fully over their heads, which ended our round. Domi and I jogged to catch up with Liliana as we headed to our next station – throwing spears. "Great work, Lil," I said, offering her what was left of the bottle of wine.

She took it, tipping the purple liquid into her mouth. "I can't feel my fingers anymore," she laughed. "If you do choose Ruslan, we've got to get away during the winter months. It's too damn cold here."

"I'd love to go to the beaches in the Day Realm. From what Queen Viktoria has told me, the water is crystal clear and you can see fish swimming around your feet!" I exclaimed.

Liliana's laugh was light and airy. "Tell Ruslan you want to go, and I'm sure he will make it happen."

The thought of Ruslan lit me up, and that thread that tied us together hummed as we approached the stage where he lounged. "Sprite," he called from his makeshift throne. "You've gotten so strong."

Heat rose to my cheeks as I smiled shyly up at him, batting my lashes. "I had a good teacher."

His grin was roguish and made my stomach flutter. "Good luck with your other rounds."

"He has such a cute nickname for you," Liliana sighed. "I wish Endre would step it up a notch. You get gems and horses and armor and sweet words, and I get… sex."

Domi and I snorted simultaneously. I opened my mouth to retort that I also got sex, but a tug around my middle tore the words from my mouth as we found Kazimir, Endre, Viktor, Vadim, and Kaztar stepping away from the spear-throwing range.

Shit, shit, shit.

Kazimir's eyes flashed black like they had when he'd been in Ruslan's face that morning, and the males all stiffened around him when they noticed our approach. I was stuck halfway between my two mates, and once again I felt like I was being ripped apart as the string that tugged me to Kazimir forced my feet forward and the thread that bound me to Ruslan tautened and pulled me backward.

Why couldn't I just make a fucking choice?

This feeling of being torn was exhausting, as was constantly draining my magic to shift and block the emotions of everyone around me.

I shoved away all the feelings screaming for my attention and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Liliana sauntered up to Endre, running her fingers along his chest and down his arm, causing his throat to bob as his peridot eyes traced her every movement. Then she patted his cheek and shouldered past him, lining up at a station where a young male was laying out spears. Endre's eyes followed her as she went, and it wasn't until Vadim pushed him that he followed along behind Viktor and Kazimir, whose aura swirled with that oiliness once again. Kaztar planted a chaste kiss on his wife's cheek before following the rest of the Night Fae toward the station set up for tug-of-war.

After we'd finished throwing spears, the three of us wandered to the leaderboard, where our names and event scores were seared into the smooth stone with fire magic. I quickly checked the ranks of my Iron Realm friends – Drazen, Zuriel, Savich, and a few other of our personal guards – before my attention snagged on Kazimir's rank. He outclassed Viktor, Endre, Vadim, and Kaztar in every event, some by quite a margin. My brows pinched together as I reexamined the scores, certain there must have been some mistake.

Kazimir was tall and strong, but he was by no means the biggest male competing. His stone-lifting score was nearly that of Savich and King Consort Geza.

There was no way he could possibly be that strong.

My stomach tightened, and somehow I knew that it was related to that sinister aura that surrounded him and the darkness that flashed in his eyes.

Liliana interrupted my inward spiral with a tug on my arm, leading me toward the sand pit where a thick, brown rope stretched between two males. I groaned internally as we settled along on the sidelines, not happy with having to watch the Night Fae compete while we waited for our turn. Away from the other contestants, we passed the last of the warm wine between us, letting it chase the chill from our fingers.

The Night Fae stood off to the side, stripping out of their tunics and tossing them aside as they prepared to flaunt their strength. Sweat rolled off all of them, steaming against the cold air, and I couldn't help the heat that pooled in my belly as Kazimir's trunk twisted and flexed, showcasing the ink decorating his broad chest. As if he felt my attention on him, he glanced in our direction. His emerald eyes were clear, though they were filled with longing. I averted my gaze, instead focusing on the end of the battle in the sand, where an Iron Fae I did not know plowed face-first as one of the Day Realm's High Lords claimed his victory.

Whoops and cheers filled the air as High Lord Domon stretched a hand out to help his fallen opponent, and the two embraced quickly once the male rose from the sand. The match officiant called for the next competitors, and Kazimir kicked off his boots and entered the pit. "You got this, Kazimir!" Viktor yelled from the sidelines, and Vadim wolf-whistled, causing Kazimir to flash him a smirk before turning to face his opponent.

Artur, Drazen's second in command, approached the thick, red mark toward the end of the rope and hefted it, red Dragon scales flashing across his forearms before disappearing. I had sparred with Artur numerous times, and in each bout, his expression never changed, giving me an unnerving sense that he was toying with his food before going in for the final kill. He carried that same energy with him now, his dark eyes impassive and jaw held loosely as Kazimir lifted the opposite end of the rope.

The tension between the males was more than just the length of rope stretched between them, and the sneer Kazimir wore when he realized Artur was Félvér lasted only a moment, but I made note of it. A whistle pierced the pit, and Artur yanked with all his might, sending Kazimir stumbling forward before he planted his feet and recovered.

Drazen and the other Félvér began shouting words of encouragement at Artur, while the Night Fae did the same for Kazimir. The sand stirred beneath each of their feet as they scrambled for purchase, alternating between leaning backward and forward and shifting their weight around as they tried to gain the upper hand. Both males' forearms strained with the effort, veins and tendons popping as they gripped the thick rope with both hands.

"You've got to admit, this is a nice view," Liliana joked, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

Domi snorted in response. "I won't say no to shirtless males showing off their physical prowess against one another. If Kaztar wins, he'll definitely get a prize tonight."

It was my turn to snort. "You'll ride him better than any of your horses?"

"Exactly," Domi grinned, her green eyes roaming over her husband's bare chest across the sand. He winked at her, then returned his attention to the game.

Artur had been dragged forward, nearing the center mark. His dark eyes were hard and his mouth was set in a firm line, showing more expression than I'd ever seen him display before. Drazen and the others screamed as the mark closed in on him, the competition between Night and Iron reaching a new peak. Ruslan's raspy voice rose in the distance behind me, as if his whole focus was on this match.

If Kazimir won this, would there be an all-out brawl?

It was no secret at that moment that there was tension between the two realms, and even more so between my two groups of friends. And it was all because of me.

Guilt slammed into me as if I'd dropped one of those heavy stones on my stomach. I was the cause of the tension, and I was only making it worse by not making a choice. But I knew, deep down, that the moment that choice was made, the consequences would be outside of my control, and once the ball was rolling, there would be no stopping it. I was delaying the inevitable, and the longer it continued, the higher the stakes would be – the Goddess had told me as much when she appeared to me in my dreams only a few days before.

The Fates seemed to be toying with me too in this moment, showing me exactly what would happen no matter who I chose. The animosity had only risen since the start of Béke, and without a doubt, there would be a war once it was over. Ruslan and Zuriel had wanted to avoid a war like the one that broke out between the Angels and Demons millennia ago, but with each passing day, it seemed unavoidable.

Whether the Night Realm had brought an army to the Iron Realm's doorstep wasn't a question I had yet asked, and I doubted the two females would tell me even if I did. Liliana's loyalty may lie with me, but she wouldn't put her brother or Endre in harm's way either.

A roar snapped me out of my thoughts, and we jumped to our feet as Artur's arms shook from the effort of holding on to the rope, drops of blood slipping from between his fingers and colliding with the sand. Kazimir took one step back, then another, pulling Artur with an ease that should have been impossible given how long their battle had lasted, until finally Kazimir yanked the rope toward him, his biceps flexing with the effort. Artur stumbled over the center line, defeated.

Those emerald orbs flashed to me, seeming to dance with amusement at my shocked expression. His torso shone with sweat, and as he dropped the rope, his back muscles flexed in the most delicious way. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of hungry thoughts.

It's just the bond and the fact that we fucked earlier.

Artur shot to his feet, not bothering to acknowledge Kazimir's victory, and stomped to the sidelines, rejoining his unit and binding his raw and bloody palms. Kriath, an Eagle Shifter Félvér who was part of our personal guard, stalked forward and squared up with Endre at the rope. The air was so thick with tension that I could have sliced into it like cake. Heavy footsteps closed in behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Ruslan carving a path straight toward me. His iron-gray eyes swirled with black fire, and his jaw was clenched tight as he snatched me into his chest, snaking his arms around me like a vice. Kazimir's attention turned from his friend to us, and his lips curled back, baring his teeth at Ruslan in an obvious challenge.

The thread that tied me to Ruslan vibrated with nervous energy, wrapping me in an embrace that set my teeth on edge. Drawing a deep breath, I reached out to Kazimir's mind with my magic, siphoning away his rage, while my physical connection to Ruslan allowed me to do the same for him.

But I didn't stop there. I pushed soothing emotions out around me like I was making a ripple in a pond, and one by one, the males crowding the sidelines relaxed, shoulders dropping, arms uncrossing, and breathing evening out. If it weren't for Ruslan holding me up, I might have collapsed by the time I was finished.

"Sprite, are you alright?" Ruslan bent his head to whisper in my ear. "I felt you take away my anger again."

"I"m a bit tired now. I've been using my magic more than I should be, and I keep forgetting to clear."

A hand flexed across my stomach. "You have to clear, like Zuriel said. I can't lose you because you overextended your magic. I came so close," Ruslan's voice broke on the last word, "to losing you to burnout. I cannot bear to go through that again, to watch you suffer like that again."

"Then can you try to ease some of this tension between the Iron and Night Realms? It's killing me to keep trying to keep the peace through my magic," I snapped, my exhaustion and stress seeping into my words.

Ruslan glossed over my tone as if it wasn't there, and for that I was grateful. "I don't think there can be peace between us, at least not until you've chosen," he murmured, arms tightening slightly before relaxing. His words echoed my earlier thoughts, and I could only nod in response. "But I do have another gift for you."

"Oh?" I said, my eyes still on Kriath and Endre slipping through the sand.

"Tonight, I will show you. I hope it will help you feel better." Ruslan planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I sighed, leaning into his embrace and burying myself in the scent of cedarwood and vanilla.

He remained there with me, holding me upright until all the males had finished their matches. The Night Fae had won every match, except for the one where Viktor battled Drazen for control of the rope. No fights broke out, thanks to my earlier intervention, but I was exhausted and unsure if I could push myself through the tug-of-war match against an Iron Fae female. She was much taller than me, her long frame cut with muscle, and from the looks of it she might have been a warrior.

"You've got this, Izidora!" Liliana cheered from the sidelines where she stood next to Ruslan. He shot me a knee-weakening smile, and I squared my shoulders and faced my opponent. Kazimir's attention sent a shiver down my spine, and I tried my hardest not to look at him, only to have my bond force my hand. Those emerald orbs blazed with lust as I hefted the rope, my newly built muscles straining under the tension.

Insidious bloom – don't show your thorns until it"s too late.

The whistle signaled the start of my match, and I pitched forward, my lack of focus causing me to lose ground. I gritted my teeth and dug my heels in, arms screaming in protest as I anchored myself in place. The female across from me was already panting with effort, leaning back so far she was nearly parallel with the ground. After watching five matches in a row, I knew that meant she was nearly immobile, so I switched tactics.

My trick had to be executed perfectly, otherwise I'd land myself straight over the center line. With the rope still gripped tightly in my hands, I straightened quickly, sending the female stumbling back, and before she could regain her balance I dug my feet into the sand and yanked with all my might, sending her veering in another direction. A strangled cry escaped my lips as I held on and backstepped, pulling her and the heavy rope toward me. The tendons in my hands popped around the rope as I readjusted my grip.

I was going to win this.

Liliana screamed at me to keep going, and Ruslan roared his approval as I managed to drag my opponent forward another step. My arms trembled under the strain, and my legs wobbled as I continued to battle for control of the pit. With one last ferocious tug, I pulled the rope toward me with everything I had, and the female stumbled across the line.

The rope hit the ground a moment later, and I collapsed to my hands and knees, chest heaving and my whole body shaking from the effort. "Thank fuck," I panted into the ground. Despite all odds, I had pulled through and won. The victory filled me with a sense of accomplishment that had been absent while I drowned in a sea of self-doubt.

Ruslan captured me in his arms the moment I pushed to my feet. "You were amazing, sprite. I am so proud of you." His words were a salve, soothing the acute ache that was like a permanent scar on my soul. Ruslan understood that pain, that angst of always having to prove myself to obtain the love and approval I wanted, and his understanding of my need to hear those words despite the obvious evidence of my victory meant more than he knew.

I pulled away from him, reaching up a hand to cup the back of his neck and bring his lips to mine. When they connected, my body lit up like it never had before, and his large hands pulled me flush to his body, tipping me backward and deepening our kiss. Whoops and whistles sounded around us as his tongue danced with mine, and I smiled through our kiss because it felt so right.

Being understood was like bathing in the light of a new dawn, the warm rays caressing each part of me that I thought needed to be kept hidden. Being understood, being loved by Ruslan, was like walking into warm darkness, where all walls were free to fall away, where all layers of self-preservation were shed like scraps of fabric, and where I could be unequivocally myself. As we kissed, the fog of doubt drifted from my mind, revealing the truth that lay beneath it.

Ruslan was the right choice.