Chapter 19

Béke Day Five

Izidora was exhausted when we returned to our suite at Ryza Citadel, and without question I took her to our bed, tucking her worn-out body into the warmth it offered and curling around her to offer my heat. My Dragon senses smelled Kazimir on her, and I gritted my teeth, anger rising both at myself and at the male who challenged me for Izidora.

How far would things have gone if I didn't stop them?

Izidora needed to make her own decision, and I was trying to give her the space she needed, but fuck, that voice whispered in my ear that she was going to choose him and I'd caved. I just loved her so much, and I was terrified of losing my one shot at unconditional love, where I'd never have to worry about someone leaving me because I fucked up or wasn't enough for them.

But I had fucked up, and I knew it. Though I'd gladly break my promise to her again to bring out the spitfire inside her, because that was the sexiest damn thing she'd ever done. That was who she truly was, who she deserved to become, and I was so fucking awed witnessing it unfold. She needed to know it was safe for her to let it rise to the surface, and I planned on lighting that path forward for her.

Izidora released a soft sigh, sinking deeper into my hold, and I immediately tightened my arms around her, needing to bury her inside me and imprint her on my soul. There was no way to get close enough to her, and I ached for her every second of every day. It was driving me insane, these feelings for her, and no amount of secret sessions punching the shit out of the bag slaked the anguish swirling inside me.

"I'm sorry, sprite," I murmured into her hair, my breath releasing a whoosh of rosy scent from the strands and into the air. "I broke my promise to you."

"Yes, you did," she said, though her voice was soft and contained no anger. She spun in my arms, her bright blue eyes sad as she drank in my raw expression.

"What do you need right now?" I asked, releasing a hand from her lower back to smooth her hair away from her face.

"Nothing anyone can give me," she admitted. "I'm so exhausted. My mind is spinning out of control, worrying that I'll doom us all if I make the wrong choice. I thought choice was what I wanted, but with the weight of the decision, I just wish the Goddess had chosen for me."

It was then that she revealed the weariness in her eyes, the truth to all the nights where I'd rolled over and tugged her closer as she tossed and turned, nightmares tearing her from sleep more often than not. "I will do better at reining in my own emotions. I've told you before and I will remind you now that I intend to spend the rest of my life making up for all the wrongs done to you, my own included. I will not add to your burden now by forcing you to use your magic on me because my fear of you choosing him is out of control."

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

"You are the light that cuts through the dark and shows me the way forward. My every breath belongs to you, now and forever. And as I lay dying, my last thoughts will be of you."

She buried her face into my chest, and I held her there, rubbing soothing circles across her back until her heart ceased racing and her breaths slowed. It wasn't long before she succumbed to her fatigue, and I refused to move as she finally found rest. She was my everything, and it was my duty to ensure she was taken care of in every way possible. I'd lay down my life for her, stay awake all night if that's what it took for her to sleep, and go without food or drink to see her survive.

Deep down, I knew she would choose me in the end. It was the waiting that was killing me.