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19. Matteo

Chapter 19

Matteo

I was in my office with the door slammed shut before she even disappeared down the hallway. I stayed in there until I knew she was gone.

And I knew that because the house felt empty. Cold. Dead.

Like my fucking heart.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, bracing my hands on the desk, my entire body so fucking tense I couldn't stand it.

I didn't bother with a glass. I grabbed a bottle of bourbon and sat on the couch, staring at the clock.

This entire situation had gone so wrong. It hadn't been how I saw things ending, but I was glad it had gone down this way. I wanted— needed —her to hate me. Loathe me and wish me dead. I was sure the latter would come sooner rather than later anyway.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed Luca. He picked up on the first ring.

"You have her?"

" Si ."

"She crying?"

"Si," was all he said.

My heart fucking twisted in my chest.

"It needed to be this way."

I didn't bother responding. I hung up and wanted to throw my phone against the wall. Instead, I set it beside me and drank half the bottle before coming up for air.

I could find Liliana easily. No matter where she went or how far she ran…I'd find her.

But I wouldn't. I hadn't been a bastard and pushed her away just to hunt her down.

That's exactly what I wanted to do.

This unfamiliar ache settled in the center of my chest, and it pissed me off. I finished the bottle, stumbled my ass into my bedroom, and willed darkness to claim me.

Fuck. I inhaled deeply and smelled the sweet scent that was all Liliana.

Bringing the sheets closer to my nose, I buried my face in them and waited for oblivion.

I should have gone after her, shouldn't have pushed her away like the motherfucker I was. She was the only pure thing I had in my fucking life, and I'd tossed it away.

To keep her safe.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deep, picturing her still here with me, tangled in the sheets all perfect and naked. My hand was around her throat, her pussy leaking because I'd filled her up with my cum.

At least I could have her in my dark fucking dreams.

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