17. Matteo

Chapter 17

Matteo

DAYS LATER

I couldn't keep her. I knew that as I stared at her beautiful sleeping form, as I'd just fucked her three times before I left her fall asleep. Poor girl was no doubt sore from my need for her, but I couldn't control the obsession that ran in my veins. I had to have her. Every single part. Like an addict needing that shot straight to the veins.

I'd told myself she was mine, that I couldn't—wouldn't—let her go. But with each passing moment, I knew that was the biggest damn lie I'd ever told myself.

She was a weakness. My only weakness, and I wasn't about to let some fucking female hold my heart in her palm.

But I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I kept picturing myself sliding in beside Liliana and holding her all night. I'd have a gun in one hand as I made sure she was protected.

But I forced myself to leave and headed into my study where I saw Luca waiting for me.

He sat in front of my desk, a bourbon in one hand, and his other arm slung over the back of the chair. He said nothing, and neither did I, as I poured myself a drink, sat behind my desk, and stared at him.

"You're in too deep," he finally said and then took a long drink from his glass.

I clenched my jaw. I knew exactly what he was referring to.

Liliana.

"Mind your fucking business," was all I said.

His own jaw clenched. And although I knew he wanted to retaliate—because he was the same type of man I was—he knew his place.

He was loyal. He kept his mouth shut and followed orders.

"And, yeah. I fucking know I am." I leaned back and scrubbed a hand over my face, having not shaved in days, hearing and feeling the scruff on my cheeks and jaw.

But she'd told me how much she'd liked it one night after I'd nearly fucked her into unconsciousness.

So I'd kept it. And I'd eaten her, knowing that I was rubbing my cheeks against her inner thighs, the whiskers adding a bit of pain that made her come even harder.

My cock thickened at the very thought.

"What are your plans?"

Luca didn't have to elaborate for me to understand what he was talking about. This all had to do with Liliana.

Her being here, keeping her, and not wanting to let her go. I knew the reality of the situation. She was a weakness. The only weakness I'd ever had in my godforsaken life.

Oh, I already knew the answer to Luca's question. But I stayed silent, rolling it around in my head repeatedly.

"She'd be a target." Luca was staring into his glass, zero emotion on his face.

I was pretty sure the fucker was a sociopath. He never showed empathy. He'd always been a cold-blooded killer. Just like me.

"They'd use her to get to you."

Again, this was all shit that I replayed in my head.

"I see the way you look at her." Luca stared at me, his eyes such a light blue they were almost translucent. "She's too good for you."

That was an undeniable fact.

"And I know you're a selfish man when it comes to what you want, but…" He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. "I want you to think long and hard about if your enemies got a hold of her. What they'd do to her…how they'd take out their hatred for you on her."

I felt a fire in my veins at the very thought. I wanted to jump over the table and slit Luca's throat for even bringing that up. I knew what he was doing, how he was trying to make me see reality. He knew there was a small amount of doubt, and he was worried I wouldn't make what he deemed was the "right" decision.

"Stai attento, cazzo," I gritted. Fucking watch it. I might not kill the bastard, but I'd beat the shit out of him just for uttering her name.

"Just pointing out the obvious." He leaned back, finished his drink, and set it aside. "If it hurts this bad at just the hypothetical thought of it…" He paused, as if trying to really let the fucking words sink in.

I curled my lip at him.

"Then think of the kind of pain you'll feel if it's made a reality."

I knew what I wanted to do and what I should do. And those two things were at war. It was a fight to the bloody death, fists slamming into flesh, weapons tearing out chunks.

I'd always been a selfish motherfucker, had always just gone after what I wanted. I'd never thought anything of it, never saw my life where I didn't gain every fucking thing I desired.

But with Liliana…it was different. Because I'd had nothing I cared about losing.

She was different. She made me feel different, feel more…alive and hopeful.

Free.

She was that sliver of light—the only thing that could penetrate the darkest part of my soul.

So, as I looked at Luca, I knew exactly what I had to do. And I had to convince myself it's what I wanted.

This decision wasn't for me.

It was for her. To protect my girl.

Because making sure she was safe was the only thing I fucking cared about.

I finished my drink and said in a voice that was hard, unyielding, and one I used for everyone around me, "I'm going to let her go after the two weeks are up because she doesn't belong here."