CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MCKINLEY

I watched their show from the side door, because I didn’t want him to know I was here. Like the groupie I clearly am, I couldn’t not watch him. Jagger is always good. He could probably put on a good show in his sleep, but he was different. Like he wasn’t all there. His mind was somewhere else, and I know it was about what I saw. I don’t understand, though, if he wants me so much, why was he with another woman? A pretty blonde with a perfect body. Everything I’m not. I think that’s what hurt the most. Him acting like he loved my body, then the first chance he got he went for Barbie with the perfect proportions. In one breath, I want to ask him why, but in the next I want to run, and never look back.

Choosing option number two, I make my way to the exit. I put my hand on the door and take a deep breath when I hear his voice.

“McKinley!”

I stand still with my hand on the door, terrified to turn around, because I don’t want to see his gorgeous face again. It’s only going to hurt, but his voice is just as bad.

“Baby, please. Give me five minutes to explain and if you want to leave me, I’ll let you go. You’ll never hear from me again.”

I turn when I hear a woman yelling, “Jagger Wild, I want to fuck you!”

Glaring at him, I shake my head with disgust. “You have someone calling for you. Sounds like you’re busy. Maybe another time.”

He nods to his security guard, and he nods back as if they are having a silent conversation I’m not privy to.

The guard approaches me, and I glare at him. “Do not fucking touch me.”

I glare at Jagger. “Five minutes, and then this is done.”

Following him to his dressing room, I attempt to ignore the screaming women and want to smack myself. They didn’t bother me before, because I thought we were faithful to each other. Stupid girl.

I walk behind him into his nearly empty dressing room. I’m guessing it has been cleared out so he can go to his next stop on the tour.

Looking at the time on my phone, I tell him, “Five minutes. Starting now.”

Do I know I’m being a bitch? Yes. I’m tired of being fucking hurt. Trampled on, like my feelings don’t mean a damn thing.

For once, I was beginning to feel like I mattered. Now I feel like a moron because, boy was that short-lived.

“Goddamn it, McKinley. I’m telling you, nothing was going on. I was waiting for you, so when I heard a knock, I said come in. She came in and climbed onto my lap. My hands were on her waist to lift her off me, and then you were standing there. Nothing fucking happened.”

“Thank you for explaining what happened.”

I walk to the door and grab the handle. “I can’t do this, Jagger. I’m sorry.”

He places his hand on the top of the door hinge, keeping it closed.

“I can’t lose you, baby. I can’t fucking breathe without you. Don’t do this to us.”

Turning to him, I tell him my brutal truth, “I don’t know how to do this, Jagger. I can’t. My head is so fucked up.”

“Stop thinking so much. Let me fucking love you. You’re so used to someone treating you like crap, it’s as if that’s all you’ll accept. It doesn’t have to be that way. I will help you through everything. I’ll give you everything I have, but I can’t do that if you push me away.”

“I’m terrified.”

He pushes me against the door and cups my chin in his big hand. “You think I’m not? I have never felt like this in my entire life. I’ve never loved a woman, and with you, Jesus, it's all-consuming. It constantly feels like I’m on the verge of losing you, and it’s fucking killing me. I’m so fucking in love with you, that I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind.”

“I love you too, and that’s why I’m terrified. I’m scared and constantly waiting for it to blow up in my face.”

“What?”

“Jagger, I love you too, and that’s why I’m terrified.”

His eyes darken with need, as he pushes me harder against the door and slams his lips to mine. It’s all teeth and tongues in our desperate kiss. Winding his fist in my hair, he pulls my head to the side, changing his angle, and his tongue dances with mine as he groans into my mouth.

“Go stand in front of the dressing table, and pull your jeans to your feet. I fucking need you.”

I walk over to the table and undo my jeans, and pull them, along with my panties, to my ankles like he asked me to. Not hearing him move closer, I turn my head over my shoulder, and find him staring at me with a heated expression. His tongue darts out as he licks his lips.

“You have no idea how much I want to take a picture of you looking like that. So goddamn sexy.”

He walks over to me and undoes his jeans. Jagger never wears a shirt during his show, and I’m glad he didn’t put one back on, because he’s beautiful to watch. I stare at his bare chest in the mirror as he smirks at me.

He pushes his cock inside me. “Fuck,” he groans.

I place my hands on the table in front of me as he slides out, then back in, nearly causing me to fall over.

Jagger is so gorgeous, with his clenched jaw, dark eyes, and the occasional grunt, as he fucks me. That alone could make me come, especially when he digs his fingers into my sides as he rocks into me aggressively.

“This pussy. Fuck.”

I giggle. “And you were going to let me leave you.”

He chuckles back. “I was never letting you go, filthy girl. Never. I wanted you to listen to me. A man does not let his obsession go, and fuck, baby, I’m so goddamn obsessed with you.”

Jagger pulls back, and slams into me so hard he knocks various things off the table.

He grabs onto my hair and pulls hard, forcing my head back. “Look at yourself, McKinley. So fucking beautiful.”

I look, but I don’t see what he sees. I only see my flaws. I can’t find beauty, and maybe I never will. All I see in my reflection is a face too fat, not like Mia’s, with the pronounced cheekbones.

“Can you at least see how beautiful I think you are?”

“Yes,” I whisper because I can. It’s in his eyes, and the way he can’t take them off me. I don’t understand it, but I’m not a fool. I can spot what’s in front of me.

“This is what you do to me. I know I should wait until you come, but I can’t help myself. You feel so fucking good and I have no control with you.”

Slamming into me one last time, I watch his eyes while he comes inside me, groaning my name.

He pulls out of me and spins me around, before dropping to his knees.

“What are you doing?”

“Making my woman come.”

I wave my hand in the air. “I’m not used to getting an orgasm, Jagger. It’s not a big deal.”

He chuckles. “I’m not him, baby. I’ll never do any of the things to you that he did. And I won’t leave you unfulfilled.”

He licks up the center of my pussy with a groan, like I’m the best meal he’s ever had.

I dig my hands into his hair as the pleasure hits me.

“Jagger.”

He groans again and flattens his tongue on my clit.

I nearly scream when he takes it between his lips and sucks hard.

“Jagger. Oh, my God. Fuck.”

Glancing down, I notice his eyes angled upwards, staring at my face. It only intensifies everything in this moment, and I crumble. I toss my head back, holding firmly onto his while I cry out in ecstasy.