CHAPTER TWELVE

JAGGER

Three weeks later…

I haven’t fucking seen her, other than a quick glimpse when I went to talk to Erik. The second she saw me, she ran to the bedroom in the suite and shut the door. Of course I want to fuck her, considering my balls are now whatever the fucking bluest shade of blue there is, but it’s more than that. I want to make sure she’s okay. I’ve been concerned that he did something to her that’s kept her from me. I don’t trust him when it comes to McKinley. I’ve already seen his fucking handiwork. I’m fucking done waiting around, like a goddamn patient man that I’m not. I can’t stop thinking about her, and thinking about that asshole being inside her every night is fucking with my head. Jake and Hendrix both have suggested I’m losing my grip on reality. They are both convinced it’s about the fact that the ‘spoiled rock star’ finally found something he can’t have, and it’s not lost on me that’s what she thought too. It’s more than that. Does it piss me off that I haven’t gotten what I wanted? Yes. How I know I want so much more than fucking her, I can’t explain to them, because I don’t even understand it myself. I just know. Since I first laid eyes on her, I’ve been in a constant fixation.

Me: I want to see McKinley tonight. If I don’t, you’ll be going home on the first commercial flight I can find for you and the rest of the dildos.

Dildo #1: She’ll be there. Where?

Me: I want her at my show without you. Jimmy will have her ticket. Then I want to see her in my dressing room so I can be sure she’s okay. Again without you. Fuck with me and you’re done.

In the last forty-eight hours, the stupid monkeys have met with three label, A Two Steps Behind .”

I’m not asking permission, I’m just informing them, but Jake starts laughing. “That’s basically a stalker anthem, brother.”

Jett glances at me. “When did we become a cover band?”

I sigh as I glare at him. “We aren’t. Look, this is what I need to do. I’m working on a song for her, but it’s not done.”

Walking into my dressing room, I take their silence as agreement, and try to relax before the show, but it proves to be difficult because she’s got me wound so fucking tight.

We stand on stage waiting for the mini light show to end so we can start. The second I move to center stage, I look and can’t fucking breathe when I see her there, looking phenomenal. She’s wearing a pair of black jeans with a lacy pink top. The auditorium is packed with people, but she’s the only one I see, as I sing the lyrics to Prince’s Screwdriver. At first, she stands in place, stoic as hell, until I take my shirt off and toss it at her. I step closer to her as I take in her pretty little blush. Fuck, I missed her. She tilts her head back and her smile nearly knocks me over. So beautiful. I like having her here, but it makes performing torture, because all I want to do is fucking touch her.

Taking a deep breath, I get my head back in the game and perform our songs, becoming one with my band as the crowd cheers. Do I miss Candy in the front row, sporting a t-shirt that says, ‘Take me backstage, Jagger!’? Nope, but it’s not happening. We are known for sex, drugs, rock and roll, as well as bad behavior. I don’t want to do any of those things without McKinley. She has turned me into a man I don’t even recognize. I fucking crave her and only her.

We perform Primal, and I can’t help smiling when I spot McKinley dancing, and singing along with my words. I fucking love it. I finish the song and walk over to Jett, and whisper in his ear the song change, because I’ve decided on a different song. We’ve never played this live but we’ve done it many times, all of us just jamming. Our version is a little louder, with more guitar and a lot of synthesized sounds.

Jett starts on lead guitar, and plays the guitar solo before the drum solo. I move to the side of the stage where McKinley is, and sing the opening lines of To Be With You by Mr. Big . I motion for her to come closer, as I sit with my legs dangling off the stage. She steps closer, and I wrap my legs around her while she blushes. Of course, every person in this auditorium is watching us and I don’t fucking care. Maybe I should, but fuck, I don’t.

After I finish the song, I speak into her ear so it’s only for her, “You look so fucking beautiful, filthy girl.”

Reluctantly, I get up and move away from her to finish the next three songs of our set, stealing an occasional glance from the most beautiful woman in the place. I decide every smile is just for me. Every sway of her hips isn’t because of the music, it’s for me. Strapping on my guitar, I play the solo beside Jett while watching her. McKinley’s gaze travels from my feet up to my chest, where it stays for a long minute, before she lifts her eyes to my face. The second she realizes I know she’s checking me out, she looks away with embarrassment, as she pulls that bottom lip between her teeth. Fuck.

I go back to my dressing room and wait. Will she show up like she’s supposed to, or will she freak out again and stay away? I’m sure Erik let her know not to fuck this up for him. Still, I’m nervous that she won’t show up.

Ten minutes later, looking like a fucking angel, she walks through the door and closes it behind her.

“Lock it.”

She raises an eyebrow but does as I asked, before she walks over to where I sit on the couch.

Staring down at me, she has so much emotion behind her eyes. Emotion, I wish I could read, but I can’t. I begin to panic, worried that he did something to her.

“You should know we broke up. You should also know that I’m certifiably insane, and I’m going to fuck up your world, and then you’re going to destroy mine.”

She broke up with him?

I grab her waist on either side and pull her onto my lap. “You’re mine, McKinley. Fucking mine. You’re not going to fuck up my world, and I’m not going to destroy yours.”

I rub my thumb over her bottom lip and whisper, “Mine.”