7. Truth

7

TRUTH

A ll night, Ariana and I hold Quinn as he shivers and shakes between us. We play him Mozart; we help him sip wine and take small bites of chocolate as we fortify him with all the good things he loves, to devour and revel in. At some point we move to the bed, cuddling him in the silk sheets, feather pillows, and thick duvet. At Ariana’s insistence we do something light, we play old Three Stooges videos on a borrowed phone and laugh at their inane delight.

Though Quinn can’t laugh yet, I see how his eyes light more with every bite of his favorite delicacies, and every caper on the videos, and every piece of beautiful music we listen to. At last, as we all flicker towards sleep, Ariana and I give him our necks, letting him drink his fill.

We fall into an exhausted sleep, dead to the world. I blink awake, only to feel no one else has woken yet. I shift to free an arm that has gone numb; as I do, I note we’ve all changed positions in bed. When we fell asleep, Ariana and I were on our sides facing Quinn, who was between us. Now, Ariana has cuddled close to Quinn’s front as he spoons her, pressing his back against me as I spoon him.

It’s an incredible sensation, as a smile lifts my lips to hold him in my arms once more. My arm is draped over Quinn’s middle, my breath at his neck, my other arm up as Quinn’s pillow as he lays his head on my bicep. I feel his heart beat where his back is pressed against my chest; though it gives slow, regal beats to my far more normal ones, every beat is like a symphony to me, knowing we’ve gotten him back.

Protectiveness surges in me, and I curl my arm just a bit more around Quinn, as I remember the pact Ariana and I made silently last night. Using the Music for our political aims again, especially if it’s doing the Gold Eyes’ bidding, is not worth losing Quinn a second time.

A third time, for me, since I already lost him once to the Vampires.

But Quinn’s not a Vampire, he’s Dark Fae like me and Ariana; that knowledge fills me now as I lay in bed with my beloveds, feeling our togetherness. Because we’re all the same, though Quinn is the most dark and I’m the most bright. We’re all Dark Fae, devouring and reveling in the world simultaneously as our magic comes together, to form something ancient, like the Ascendants of old.

As I ponder our unknown fate, considering what we now know we are, sunlight streams in all around, shining through the high vaults of the Moon Dome. It lights our trio up in the big bed we had brought in here. Sunlight has never bothered Quinn, nor fire, and now I know why. The fire of his own Summer Fae nature still fills him.

Dark though it is, shining deep through his vast Night.

We’ve saved him now from the utter madness that diving too far into his blackest Night can bring. I’m not na?ve, though, and know there will be repercussions; I’m ready to face them, and help Quinn with whatever he needs to be sane again, as I carefully free my arm from falling asleep again beneath his head.

Quinn shifts as he feels me move, liberating himself from the sleeping Ariana and rolling over until he faces me. He draws a deep breath but doesn’t wake, sleeping hard as Ariana sleeps just as deeply behind him.

I can’t help it; I stroke his face with my fingertips. Though Fae, Dark Fae, and Vampires are all descended from Archangels, angels have nothing on Quinn’s haunting, austere beauty. It’s always compelled me; as I touch him now, his eyes snap open.

Blazing with his Dark Summer Fae fire as he comes awake.

My breath catches as Quinn’s searing eyes fix on me—and I hesitate from his sudden waking. But as I watch his old Summer Fae cinnabar and gold sear through his eyes, hardly a trace of onyx anywhere in them now, I’m emboldened.

As I ease my knuckles over his cheek, Quinn shudders. I drown in his fire now, knowing my blue eyes have darkened to a deep midnight hue that happens when I feel intense emotions. I know now it’s my Dark Fae nature. Quinn stares at me, his long dark lashes blinking.

Before his eyes fill with unshed tears.

“I love you, Lucca,” Quinn whispers roughly then, as if finding his mortal voice from an eon of screaming inside his Revenant darkness is difficult. “I heard you when you spoke to me, inside my Revenant. I love you, too… just as much as you do. I want you to know that.”

“I’m glad,” I whisper back, as I watch my beautiful Valerio’s eyes fill with tears. Even back when we were young, crying was a rarity for him. And though his tears don’t fall, I’m crying too now, to feel us coming back together.

Once in pain from hating each other, now in pain because we fear losing each other again, we’ve spent too many centuries apart. It’s unforgivable now, as I let my tears drip down my blond lashes, hating how many centuries I wasted being apart from him, letting myself only drown in my unfathomable rage.

Quinn’s tears aren’t shed, but he reaches up, tracing the passage of my tears with his fingertips, brushing them away with his thumb. “You mean more to me than anything, Lucca. You and Ariana,” Quinn says as we lay there, our faces only inches away as we bare our truest hearts to each other. He speaks quietly so we don’t wake Ariana.

Sharing this deep moment as just us.

“I didn’t know what I was going to do without you, Valerio.” I speak my deepest truth to him now in our shared moment. “When you became your Revenant, I felt lost that you were no longer in my world with me… even hating me, like we did for all those years. Somehow, even being enemies and rivals for centuries, I felt comforted that your diabolical mind and intense fire were still in Florence with me, still goading me from the shadows. But to lose you to your Revenant… I couldn’t feel you, couldn’t sense you through our bonds. You were just… gone, to that intense darkness. And I despaired, even as Ariana held out hope that you could still be returned to the Light.”

“I don’t blame you for despairing.” Quinn cups my cheek, running his thumb over my lips. “I despaired also, deep inside the darkness that devoured me. I felt there was no light. I felt that everything Light I had once been, however little of it remained after I became Dark Fae, was gone. Everywhere I turned was darkness… endless.”

“Were you trapped in memories of Emiliana?” I ask, though I fear the answer.

“Worse.” Quinn sighs, as if his Revenant still plagues him like a wound, deep. “I was lost in memories of myself, Lucca; memories of me I hated, yet felt so very good. It was like being in my Revenant was condemning myself to the same torture I had given others, for the rest of my quasi-immortal life. When everything exploded into disaster from me mishandling the Music of the Spheres, and the Gold Eyes intervening in our showing before the Vampire Council… something inside me decided I wasn’t fit to live in the light anymore, even a small part of it. I fell into my inner darkness, completely, and got lost in my self-blame, self-hate, and self-punishment… until you and Ariana showed me the way out.”

“We still love you, no matter how dark you become.” My voice is firm as I lift up now, spontaneously kissing his lips. I don’t apologize for it as I grip his hip with my hand and shake him a little. “We love you, Valerio. To all the stars and back. We will never give up on you. Ever. I swear it.”

“My white knight,” Quinn says, as something in him becomes beautifully wistful and sad. “Now a Fae prince; whereas I never will be again. I’m not even a Master Vampire anymore, because I never was a Vampire to begin with.”

“You’ll always be a prince to me.” I hold his gaze. “I may be your knight in shining armor, bold and courageous to a fault, but you are my Machiavellian prince, resilient and cunning when backed into any corner. You’ll always be that to me—I’ll always believe in you. Even if you don’t believe in yourself.”

“Who are we now, Lucca, when we are neither Vampire nor Summer Fae?” Quinn asks with a wry twist to his lips, as his gaze darkens. I feel him read my mind, from my mulling over of our situation before he woke. “You and I both know we no longer have any true standing amongst our people, now that we’re aware we are Dark Fae. Like Ariana, we are adrift, belonging nowhere, though we thought we were still Vampire and Summer Fae until a scant week ago.”

“We are still leaders of our kind, Quinn.” I use his adopted name now as I impress my point. “Even though our magic is Dark Fae, riddled through by the will of our Maker the Gold Eyes, we shall not give in. We help, love, and support our people in whatever manner we can. You and I have always been thus… even before we were marked by the Gold Eyes’ taint.”

“Marked by its taint?” Quinn frowns at me.

I realize then that he’s not been party to the terrible training sessions Ariana and I had with Master Vasily Ilyov this past week. As if I somehow summoned the devil himself by thinking about him, Master Ilyov swirls into being now, just inside the doors of the dome. As his wintery winds settle from their flurry of deadly snow and ice, he stares at our trio cuddled close upon the bed.

Inhaling, Quinn sits up quickly; but he’s too weak and buckles. I catch him, shoring him up as I move to sit behind him, propping him up as he leans back on me. As Ariana wakes also, blinking out of dreams and sitting up, she hauls the covers up over her chest. As she reaches out to touch Quinn’s chest over his heart, the Dark Winter Fae Master stares us down. Chill dispassion is in Ilyov’s cold, white-blue eyes.

As he finally nods.

“So. The prodigal Mentale returns.”

“No thanks to you,” I bite before I can stop myself. My temper seethes at Vasily Ilyov’s arrival, and his interruption of our close, intimate moment.

Quinn holds up a hand, stopping me before I can get more out.

“Master Ilyov,” Quinn says gravely now as he inclines his head. “I thank you for your most gracious hospitality in our dire time of need. Most of all, for housing a creature you knew was vastly dangerous to your people, as I was in my Revenant state, and with the Council’s retribution likely to come after us. Your kindness knows no bounds. I am forever in your debt.”

Something about Quinn’s words softens the ice-chill Master of Novakitsk. Though he’s been a pain in the ass and a ball of ice-cold wrath with Ariana and me all week, Vasily Ilyov’s frigid gaze thaws as he gazes upon Quinn. He glances at me, then Ariana as we cuddle close to Quinn in bed, supporting him from falling over. With a harsh sigh, Vasily Ilyov moves over to us.

Hauling a high-backed chair to our bedside and plopping down in it as if exhausted.

“The three of you have created such a shitshow as to go down in history books.” Vasily Ilyov laces his long fingers and leans in with his elbows on his knees. His blue eyes are intense, but something in them sparkles now, as he regards us. “The Vampire Council is hunting you, those of them that did not get incinerated by your little demonstration a week ago. It is only a matter of time before they understand where you’ve gone.”

“What are our options?” I see Quinn dive into planning mode now, though he can barely sit up straight.

“First, you must recover.” Vasily Ilyov’s tight mouth quirks, though his gaze is piercing now rather than humorous. “Second, you must be brought up to speed with everything the lighter Fae of your trio have learned this week. Third, you must abandon everything you thought you had to create in this world. For if you don’t… your liberation from the Gold Eyes will never happen.”

“Abandon everything…?” I watch as Quinn’s eyes slowly shut. He holds them closed, breathing deeply now as I feel him gather strength through his bonds to me and Ariana. Opening his eyes, he pins Master Ilyov with their fiery black depths. “Explain.”

“I will. First, the two of you must fill Master DaPonti in on everything you’ve learned this week. I shall wait.” As Master Ilyov glances at me, then Ariana, his wintery gaze drilling into us, I know what he’s talking about.

As Ariana and I tell Quinn about our week, we inform him about everything we’ve learned concerning the Gold Eyes’ will—that he controls our Dark Fae magic and everything it creates in this world, because he was our Maker and the origin of Night in our power.

I tell him of how the Gold Eyes’ will lives in every sigil of power we create, while Ariana tells him about how that disastrous magic looks and feels in the otherworld . As Quinn listens, I see him go more and more pale, shivering now, though his body is still somehow searing hot and also deathly cold at the same time. He takes a long inhalation as we finish.

Then his gaze snaps to Ilyov.

“Everything we’ve been doing for our people, every agenda we’ve sought to create since we were turned Dark Fae all those centuries ago… has been doing the will of the Gold Eyes, this entire time?” Quinn asks, only to receive a dire nod from Vasily Ilyov.

“Consider your trio’s indomitable nature, Dark Fae,” Ilyov says now as his gaze pins Quinn, then me, then Ariana. “One who was a beloved Fae Prince, now the renegade dark star of the Vampires, who believes in consent, beauty, and love above all else. One who was a Darkwatch protector, embroiled in ancient magics like a Fae Knight Templar, now become a Prince himself, with an overwhelming urge to protect his people as he did his charge, long ago. And then we have the ingenue. Born of a Fae family so lofty in their magics, they controlled an entire Fae Lineage from the shadows, and saved another from utter destruction. Mighty enough in her power to survive the Making of the most ruthless darkness to ever grace the shadows as an infant… and become the strongest, most balanced Light. Able to bring two kings of the ages together. And make them fight as one once more.”

“We’re everything the Gold Eyes has been looking for,” I say as a sick feeling fills me to hear Ilyov list our impressive credentials. Knowing it has been all for the Gold Eyes’ gain leaves a taste of ashes in my mouth as my heart thunders with a black rage, deep inside.

“You have a chance to break free of him, and how he has been manipulating your power since he Made all three of you,” Ilyov says now as he stares each of us down, none more so than Quinn. “But it requires that you all must give up everything you’ve been fighting for—to walk away from your lofty aims and goals of power, and be satisfied with your choice. You must forget your own supposed will and ask yourself: what is the will of the universe that I am fulfilling? Because therein lies your power, and the key to breaking free of your Maker. And his will , driving all of yours, so far.”

“There was a time, however, where the Gold Eyes didn’t drive Quinn’s and my aims and goals, because he hadn’t touched us yet.” I glance at Quinn, and he looks at me. I still support him in bed, but I slide a hand to his thigh and he takes it, gripping my fingers. “Those parts of us we can trust, Quinn. You and I, how we were before we became Dark Fae.”

“But not after.” Quinn glances at Ariana now, and they share a long look. I know what they are thinking, because I feel it through our renewed bond. Ariana never had a time before the Gold Eyes.

Nothing she is or was, is something she can trust that’s free of him.

“What about me?” Ariana asks Ilyov now as Quinn grips her hand and she grips his back. We form a trio with him in the middle, like we were in bed earlier. “Can Quinn and Lucca trust me, if everything I am and ever was has been doing the will of the Gold Eyes, this entire time?”

“They can trust one part of you… and so can you,” Ilyov says now with the smallest smile on his face. “When I thrust my spear of truth inside your mind at the Red Letter Hotel Florence, and asked you your opinion on the Summer Fae King, something rose inside you. An instinct so profound, a desire so deep to discover the truth and to roar it to the universe, that you could not hold back from telling me just exactly what you thought of King Archivolio Bellari and all his brutal madness. My power did not break yours, Ariana, though you thought it did. Indeed, though I thrust an unimaginable amount of my magic inside you, I could not enter your mind the way I can with all others. But something deep inside you needed to speak the truth to me, just as you do for your bound Dark Fae lovers, and you do for everyone else. Something lives within you, born of your original Summer Fae line in the House of Shadow Truth, that seeks all truths and tolerates no lies. The Gold Eyes has been lying to you all by manipulating you, and your own original power will not stand for it. Trust that … and you will find the center of who you are. Not who the Gold Eyes has made you, and the power he wishes to wield through you and your bound mates.”

As all of us stare at Master Ilyov now, none of us stare so hard at him as Ariana. Slowly, she nods; I feel the dark fire of her nature blaze then, as she understands to her core what he means.

Because something lives inside her so deep, and so unfathomably strong, that it can never be sundered. That part of her will always seek the truth, just as she has done her entire life, and like she has done for Quinn and me countless times in the past months since she met us.

Her truth-seeking power brought Quinn and me back together, showing us how much we still loved one another. I feel it through our bond as she knows now how that truth-power will set us all free, though we may have to go through hell and back to understand it .

And discover who we all are now.

Without the agenda the Gold Eyes has been driving inside all of us, for centuries.