20. Jasmine

20

JASMINE

A s Jasmine waited for Ell-rom to be done with his session, she made the mistake of scrolling through social media. She'd wanted some mindless entertainment with a little bit of news, but that little news was enough to ruin her good mood after talking with Edgar and hearing how happy he was with Angelica.

The world was falling apart, and she doubted that the immortals with Annani at the helm would be able to save it. They had done it before, more than once, but the world used to be a much smaller place and not as interconnected as it was now. Everything was happening faster and, regrettably, not for the better.

That crazy idea of a colony on Mars suddenly seemed very appealing to her. The murderous primitive barbarians were only capable of slaughter and destruction.

They would never develop interplanetary travel capability.

The problem with that fantasy was that some idiots would no doubt decide it was a good idea to bring them along to Mars because even murderous primitive barbarians needed representation. It was ridiculous, but then so many things were these days.

The world no longer made sense to her.

Jasmine was so lost in thought that she barely registered the sound of the door opening.

Ell-rom entered, leaning on the walker, gave her a ghost of a smile, and settled into the chair next to her. His gaze fixed on Morelle; he didn't say a word, and the silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken questions.

Julian had told her not to ask Ell-rom about his session with the therapist and to wait until he confided in her of his own volition, but she couldn't bear the silence.

"Is everything okay?"

He turned to her and nodded. "I spoke with Vanessa, the clan's therapist. She had a lot of good advice for me."

Jasmine desperately wanted to ask what the advice was about, but remembering Julian's words, she opted for a neutral response. "I'm glad you found the session helpful."

Ell-rom studied her face for a moment, his brow furrowed. "Aren't you curious to hear what I needed help with?"

Jasmine took a deep breath. "Of course I'm curious, but I don't want to pry. I'm waiting for you to tell me when you're comfortable doing so."

Relief washed over Ell-rom's features as if he had been expecting a different reaction. Had he thought Julian had betrayed his trust and told her what the session was about?

Ell-rom should have known that Julian would never do that.

He let out a long breath, his shoulders sagging. "You are right. I didn't want to tell you about the problem I have, but now that Vanessa has given me tools to possibly overcome it, I feel more hopeful."

Jasmine frowned. "What problem? Did you tell her about the dream where you…" She looked up at the camera. "Where you did that thing with your mind that the head priestess confronted you about?"

His big blue eyes widened. "No, I wouldn't…" He looked at the camera. "It's about my aversion to blood. I didn't know how strong it was until last night when I couldn't bring myself to bite you."

It was Jasmine's turn to be taken aback. "I thought that it was just too much, too soon for you. That you weren't ready."

But then it suddenly made sense to her when she remembered the other dream Ell-rom had told her about, the one about drinking blood by mistake and puking his guts out.

No wonder that he had such a strong aversion to it. He'd experienced a traumatic event associated with blood.

"It's because of what happened with the goblet, right?"

Ell-rom nodded. "That was probably the trigger, and I didn't realize how bad the aversion was until last night."

Jasmine reached out, taking his hand in hers. "What advice did Vanessa give you?"

Ell-rom's shoulders slumped at her touch. "She suggested several techniques. Breathing exercises to help manage anxiety, cognitive restructuring to challenge negative thoughts, and something called systematic desensitization."

"Systematic desensitization?" Jasmine repeated the unfamiliar term.

"It's a method of gradually exposing myself to what I fear, paired with relaxation techniques," Ell-rom explained. "We're going to start small, maybe just looking at pictures of blood, and work our way up slowly."

Jasmine nodded. "That sounds like a solid plan. Did Vanessa give you any exercises to practice?"

"Yes," Ell-rom said, sounding a little more confident. "I'm supposed to practice the breathing exercises daily and try positive visualization—imagining myself calmly handling situations involving blood. Julian is going to get some synthetic blood for me to use in the exposure therapy. Vanessa thinks it might be easier for me to tolerate initially."

"I think it's a great idea."

Ell-rom smiled, the first genuine smile she'd seen from him since he entered the room. "I'm hopeful, which is a big improvement over how I felt before talking to Vanessa."

Jasmine tilted her head. "Why didn't you tell me? You should know by now that you can tell me anything."

He averted his eyes. "I've been so worried about letting you down. Biting should be such a basic function for a male of my kind, and being unable to do that felt emasculating."

"Oh, sweetheart." Jasmine squeezed Ell-rom's hand. "You could never let me down. For every problem, there is a solution as long as we are willing to put in the work, right? We are a good team."

A small smile lifted the corner of his lips. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You don't need to do anything other than being your wonderful self."

He shook his head. "That doesn't seem like enough, especially in my current state."

"None of that." She cast him a stern look. "Remember what Vanessa said about challenging negative thoughts? You are good enough to deserve happiness. Never doubt that."

It would take time, though.

The plan sounded solid, but Jasmine had a feeling that a venom bite wasn't in her immediate future. It was somewhat disappointing, but she had no problem waiting for it.

"Thank you for telling me." Jasmine leaned her head on Ell-rom's shoulder. "I know it must have been difficult to do."

He nodded. "It was. A Kra-ell afraid of blood seems so ridiculous."

"You are only part Kra-ell, and you can't tolerate it. That does not equate to being afraid of it." She lifted her head and offered him her lips.