Shain Chapter 10

Last night with Daredevil had been beyond anything I'd thought possible. I was a woman who admitted to having many sexual desires. I might not go around having sex with every guy I saw or who even attracted me, but I did enjoy sex. With him, it was more than enjoyment, it was ecstasy. I'd never come so many times or as intensely as he made me do it. Hell, just thinking of him doing things to me got me off. The first time was amazing and the second time was even better.

There was a part of me regretting we didn't have our first time when I didn't have to go to work the next day. It was a small regret. When I got out of bed to shower, he got in with me. He kept it PG since I had to get to work on time, but he did give me several blistering kisses. I floated in a blissful haze as I got ready.

It was cold out so he insisted on taking me to work in his truck. With his heated seats I didn't say no. They were heavenly. As we pulled into the parking lot, I tensed up. I tried not to, but the anticipation of facing Laz made me do it. I wasn't looking forward to seeing him. Daredevil must've sensed it though I kept my expression calm and smiled at him as I undid my seatbelt. He got out, came around to my door and opened it. Before I got out, he held me in place and his eyes bored into mine.

"Babe, I know you're worried about Laz and what he'll say or do today. Don't be. I'll be close by and if he starts shit, you call me. Yesterday, he took off the kid gloves when he acted the way he did. No one will blink to see me protect you. And before you say you can protect yourself, I know you can. But as your man, I've gotta do it. Do not take his crap," he ordered.

I caressed his beard. "I won't. I'm done trying to be nice or to avoid his attitude. His behavior is over the top. I'm hopeful my chief spoke to him but I won't hold my breath it'll do any good. If he's here, I believe it won't be for long. A suspension is in his future and it's all his own fault."

"You're right, it is his fault. Even if he does have feelings for you, the way he went about telling you and how he's objecting to us is wrong. Make sure you're not ever alone with him. I don't trust him at all."

"I'll do my best. I can't control if he and I are paired at a fire, but I believe Ricardo will try not to do it."

"Good. Now, give me a kiss for the road so I can survive until tomorrow. Text me when you can. I can't go without some kind of contact with you."

I gave him a leisurely and intense kiss which lasted a couple of minutes and totally turned me on. One final peck and I let him assist me out of his truck and like the gentleman he was underneath his scary, tough exterior, he walked me to the station door and opened it. I waved and gave him a smile as I turned to enter the main work area. It was almost impossible when I said goodbye not to tell him I love you. What stopped me was knowing it was too soon for those words. I didn't want to freak him out or make him feel pressured to say them back when he didn't mean it. I had no idea what I would do when he went back to Tenillo. How would I survive the distance?

Thoughts about enduring it flitted through my brain which distracted me from worrying about Laz. Instead, I knew what I had to do during my downtime this shift. It was a bold move but I would do it just to see.

Jamie was the one to take my attention away from my new plan. "How're you doing?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"After yesterday, no one will blame you for being wary of him. By the way, I haven't seen him yet. Maybe they suspended him, or he called off sick. I would if I was stupid enough to show my ass to my bosses, coworkers, and the community as he did. I've never seen him act that way or look so unkempt."

"I haven't either. I hope he gets himself together soon. I hate the fact our friendship seems to be over."

"He was biding his time, Shain. He's always wanted more than friendship. You're the only one who didn't see it," Mike said as he walked up to join us.

"Why didn't you guys say something?"

"It wasn't our place to call him out on it. If he wanted you, he had to make the move. He didn't, and Daredevil did. Speaking of your biker man, how is he after yesterday? I thought he'd come in here attached to your hip," Mike added.

I laughed. "If he could've, he would've. He's not happy with Laz and warned me to let him know if he says or does anything and not to be alone with him. His protector mode is full-on. So is Moose's and the rest of the Regulators, but Daredevil is a level above even them."

"An alpha man like him would be. They're all about protecting the ones they love and consider family," Jamie said.

"So you know how alpha men think, do you? How? And no one said he loves me, although I believe he cares for me deeply."

"How do I know? Goddamn, woman, I am one, and don't you forget it." He puffed out his chest comically and pounded on it, making me giggle. "As for not loving you, keep telling yourself he doesn't, but I see it. He's head-over-heels for you. I never saw it happen so quickly, but there's no doubt, which raises the question. What'll you do about it? He'll have to leave eventually. I know you love him too. Will you go with him?"

I had just admitted to myself minutes ago, and I wanted to see if it was possible. I wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone. When I was, Daredevil and my family would be first. No disrespect to my friends at work, but they came in third.

"I haven't thought about it. We'll have to see how his time here goes."

"How long is he staying?" Mike asked.

"Not sure. The original plan was a couple of weeks with the option to extend." As I said it, it dawned on me it had been two weeks. He hadn't said anything about leaving or staying. My stomach clenched at the thought of it.

"And two weeks have just passed. I think you and he better talk about it," Mike suggested.

"Okay, enough about me and my life. Tell me what's up with you two since our last shift. Did your families have fun despite the display at the fundraiser?"

They were nice enough to let me redirect our conversation and launched into their tales of what their wives and kids did. I relaxed. Quentin joined us. It was maybe twenty minutes technically into our shift when Ricardo and Chief Kreitz came walking into the break area. We all got quiet and I instantly tensed. They looked grim and their eyes landed on me and stayed there. I swallowed the lump in my throat or I tried to.

"Shain, we need to speak to you in my office," Ricardo said. I swore I saw remorse flash briefly across his face. I wasn't sure if it was for calling me to his office in front of everyone or for what was to come. Swiftly, I scanned the room and didn't see Laz. Was this fact a good thing or a bad one?

"Sure. I'll see you guys later," I told Quentin, Mike, and Jamie. They all nodded. They appeared worried.

I held my head up and walked confidently over to Kreitz and Ricardo. I was waved to go ahead of them. I took my time. Entering his office, I took a seat without being told. No way would I stand at attention as if I'd done something wrong. Ricardo took a seat beside me while Kreitz seated himself behind Ricardo's desk. I thought it was presumptuous of him to do it. Why weren't we meeting in his office if he wanted to sit behind the desk? It was a tactic to show he was in control, no doubt as if I didn't know it. Kreitz was alright and usually fair, but he could come across as pompous, and he wasn't nearly as approachable as Ricardo.

The silence was deafening. I raised an eyebrow as I glanced at them. "What was it you needed to discuss with me? I presume it's important if you called me in here in front of my entire team."

Ricardo shifted in his chair. Kreitz's mouth tightened. I kept censorship out of my tone but the wording told them I didn't appreciate it.

"Shain, we need to discuss the Laz situation with you," Ricardo began and then stopped.

"Okay, what about Laz? I see he's not here today. Is that why we're talking?"

"Partially. See, Shain, we can't have displays like we witnessed yesterday. It's not good for the department. We don't want to have a bad reputation. The public depends on us, and as such, our employees must be above reproach," Kreitz added.

"I understand, and I agree that the way he acted yesterday was uncalled for. I've never seen him so disheveled or ever talk the way he did. Heck, I can't recall seeing him drunk."

"Yes, his whole behavior was unfortunate, but we're not here to talk about him. We're here to discuss your behavior and how it's reflecting on the department," Kreitz continued.

"My behavior? I don't know what you mean. If you mean yesterday, I helped Etta get the public a safe distance away from him while others worked to get him to leave."

"I know. The man who did the bulk of the interaction with Laz is who I want to talk about. Having a biker confront one of our men is the last thing we need or want. In fact, the presence of a whole motorcycle club goes against our image. We can't have ourselves seen as associating with their kind. I know you have a family member in their gang, but it's unacceptable," Kreitz informed me in his most pompous and haughty tone. My hackles immediately went up. He was judging Daredevil and the Regulators without knowing anything about them other than they were an MC.

"You're right. I do have a cousin in the Regulators. However, you're mistaken. They're not a gang. They're a club. They run several successful businesses around here. They do lots of things for the community, and it was only logical that they came out to help with our event. They alone raised a significant amount of money. Daredevil was forced to address Laz's words and actions. He was trying to get him to leave and protect me. Laz has been after me for the past two weeks. Ricardo can tell you that. We talked about it. No one got hurt. All the public saw was Daredevil and the Regulators taking control of the situation and ensuring no one got hurt." My temper was rising. Ricardo shifted again. I suspected he wasn't on board with this.

"The whole distasteful situation could've been avoided if those bikers weren't there. Your personal life and past relationship with Laz are affecting the whole station. There's a no fraternization rule for a reason," Kreitz snapped.

"I didn't fraternize, as you call it, with Laz. We were never more than friends and coworkers. We didn't date, nor did we have sex. The event was open to the public, which means those bikers, as you call them, had as much right to be there as anyone else. Is there a point to this, or are you just shifting the blame to me and letting Laz get away with his atrocious behavior?" I snapped back. Maybe not the smartest thing to do when both men had the authority to suspend or fire me, but at the moment, I didn't give a shit. When someone went after my family, I would defend them. Daredevil was part of it now.

"You went on vacation with him. I say that's more than friends. Be that as it may, I can't condone you disrupting your team. I've spoken to Laz. He's more than willing to come back to work and let bygones be bygones as long as you and your boyfriend and the other bikers stay away from him and don't engage him. He told me they broke into his house and threatened him. I need you to agree to remain professional and not to say or do anything to reignite the feud or whatever it is."

I'd had enough. I stood and leaned forward to put my hands on the desk. Kreitz's eyes widened. I heard Ricardo sigh. "Let me tell you this, chief. I didn't vacation with him. He happened to be spending the Labor Day weekend with family, I believe, who was nearby where I and the Regulators were celebrating. I asked him to pick me up early to come back home, but we were hit by a drunk driver. I spent a few days in the hospital and then at the Infidels' compound recovering before I returned here.

"I think it's ridiculous Laz is putting on a show about his willingness to let bygones be bygones when he started and instigated everything. He's pissed that I'm with Daredevil. Apparently, he had feelings for me I was blind to. His hurt feelings aren't my fault, and I won't stand by and have the blame placed on my shoulders. As for his allegations, they broke into his house. If that is the case, why haven't the police arrested them? Speaking of the police, I have a question. Did you actually press charges against him for trespassing like you threatened? Is he in jail, and that's why he's not here working his shift?"

His face reddened. He stood and crossed his arms. Classic defensive stance. "Young lady, I will not be questioned by you about how I run this station. Laz isn't here because I asked him not to until I talked to you and got this settled. I can see you're not mature enough to do so."

"My maturity has nothing to do with taking someone's personal attacks and doing nothing. I tried it, but it didn't work. He keeps at me. He's slandering me and the club. He's creating a hostile work environment. I hoped to be able to deal with this maturely between us, but now I see that's not possible. Before there's any other discussion, I need to speak to my IAFF, the International Association of Fire Fighters representative. You're familiar with the IAFF, I'm sure. I think they'll be very interested in this. They'll ensure fairness is two-sided."

It was almost comical to watch his face go back and forth between red and pale. I looked at Ricardo. Regret was written all over him. While I felt sorry for him, he wasn't saying a word in my defense, which disappointed me greatly. They wanted to be assholes, I'd give it right back.

"There's no need to make threats," Kreitz sputtered.

"It's not a threat. I'm merely protecting myself since my employers will not. Now, if that's all, I need to get back to work."

"Go," he snarled.

Ricardo opened the door for me. He mouthed, I'm sorry.

I mouthed back. So am I.

???

The shift was almost unbearable. I welcomed every call we got. It broke up the guys' constant questions about what happened with Kreitz and Ricardo. I noticed Ricardo stayed in his office unless he was out on a call with us. I texted Daredevil a few times, but I waited until I got off work to explain to him what had happened. He would lose his shit, I had no doubt. Laz made his bed and now whatever happened was on him.

Finally, the shift was minutes from ending. I had my fingers crossed that no last-minute calls came in to make us work over. It happened a lot, so twenty-four hours easily became more. Fifteen minutes before the end, Ricardo came to the break area. He walked over and quietly whispered to me, "I need to see you in my office, Shain."

I knew it wasn't good, but I confidently followed him out of the room, which got deathly quiet. When we got to his office, I didn't bother to sit. He closed the door and sighed as he shook his head.

"Shain, let me start by saying I hate the way this played out. I hope you know I don't agree with the things the chief said. It's utter bullshit he's siding wholly with Laz. I told him the things I witnessed, but he didn't seem to care. I'm afraid your earlier insolence, as he calls it, made him decide to suspend you. He's not willing to allow you to work while there's a possible visit by the IAFF. He wants to tread carefully, he told me. Your allegation of a hostile work environment scared him. I've been tasked with telling you, effective immediately and until further notice, you're suspended." Regret and anger were evident in his tone and on his face.

"I see he wasn't brave enough to tell me himself. What a coward. Tell me one thing before I go. Is Laz suspended, too?"

He didn't answer me right away. When he did, he was clenching his fists. "You didn't hear it from me, but no, he's not. He isn't even getting written up. I don't understand it. I argued with Kreitz not to suspend you and to suspend him. I was told if I kept it up, my job would be on the line. I'm sorry, Shain. I can't afford to lose my job. I have a family to take care of. That's why I didn't say anything in the meeting." He hung his head.

"Ricardo, I admit I wondered why you didn't, and it hurt, but I would never want you to put your livelihood and, therefore, your family at risk. It's alright. If Kreitz wants to play it this way, he just made a decision I have to make easier, I think."

"What decision is that?"

"Whether to stay here or to move to Texas. It looks like Daredevil and I are together to stay. There's no way I want to live hours apart and only see each other when we can steal a weekend here and there. I checked online, and they happen to be hiring in Tenillo. Talk about luck. I applied to see if they'll take me."

"I hate to see you go, but I'll understand if you do. Please keep me informed. I'll look for your replacement unofficially. Until you're ready, I'll keep this quiet."

"I'm not saying for sure I'll do it, but if Daredevil wants me to go, I'll find a way to do it even if I can't work in Tenillo."

"Oh, I think he'll want you to go."

"Well, I need to get my stuff and get out of here. Take care and watch your back. If Kreitz is willing to do this and make threats, I wouldn't trust him."

"I don't. Not anymore. Again, I'm so sorry."

"It's not on you. I'll see you sometime. Bye."

He took me by surprise when he gave me a hug. I hugged him back, then hightailed it out of there. I was feeling emotional, and the last thing I wanted to do was become emotional in front of everyone. It was bad enough that all their eyes were glued to me when I got back. There were attempts to find out why Ricardo asked to see me, but I brushed them off. It was a relief in one way when I walked out to find Daredevil waiting for me. On the other hand, I was scared of what his reaction would be to my suspension. And what Moose and the others would do.

I was hugged and kissed before he settled me in his truck. I tried to act normal and happy, but I knew I wasn't pulling it off because of the way he kept frowning. He took me straight home. As we entered my townhome, I knew the questioning was about to begin. Oh, Lord. As had become our routine, he made sure I'd recently eaten, then insisted I take my bath before he asked me any questions. I was tucked into bed with him holding me in no time.

"Mon Rêve, I know something is bothering you. You said Laz wasn't at work. What happened? Did someone else say something?"

"None of my friends said anything mean. They did ask questions and talked about how they couldn't believe how Laz acted. They weren't the issue. It was my bosses, Chief Kreitz and, by extension, Ricardo."

"What the hell did they say?" he growled.

I explained it to him and did it as fast and unemotionally as I could, but by the end, I was teary-eyed. I wiped them away angrily. I hated crying. He was emotional, too, but he was angry. He was stiff by the time I was done. The anger was radiating off him in waves. He was holding me extra tightly.

"That son of a bitch is laying all the blame on you and letting him off! Why? Does he have some hold over him? Are they friends? It makes no sense. I hate that Ricardo said nothing, but I can understand it. They're not getting away with this. I promise you."

"Rome, I don't want to continue to stir this up. Yes, I'm pissed, and I do think there needs to be something done about it, I just don't know what. I'm trying hard to see my suspension as a positive thing."

"Positive, how?"

I hesitated to bring it up. What if he liked the fact we'd only see each other occasionally? I was assuming he wanted me around all the time, but maybe only until we got to know each other better. Taking a risk, I asked despite my nerves over his answer.

"You originally came here intending to stay a couple of weeks. It's been two weeks. You haven't said anything about what you want to do. Aren't they anxious to get you back to Tenillo? You can't stay here indefinitely. I know it, and it wouldn't be fair to expect you to put your whole life on hold to be with me."

"Shain, are you trying to get rid of me? Do you want me to go back to Texas? I thought we'd moved this to the truly serious stage. Making love to you was a commitment on my part. I thought it was the same for you, too."

I heard the upset in his voice. I hastily started to talk again. I was messing this up royally. I needed to get myself together. This was too important to my future happiness not to do it right.

"Rome, stop. No, that's not what I'm saying at all, honey. God no. I'm attempting to find out what your plans are. Should I expect you to stay longer or to say goodbye in a couple of days because you have to go back? If you do, how will this work between us? Do we find an odd weekend here or there where we can see each other? I guess we should've talked about this before we went all the way."

"Shain, the other night was life-altering for me. I hope it was for you too. Did you not notice something very important?"

I thought about that night and how utterly wonderful it was. I had no idea what he was referring to. "I don't know what you mean. The whole experience was amazing and important to me."

"True, but both times I made love to you, I did so without using a condom. I meant to mention it after the first time, but it slipped my mind. I've never had unprotected sex in my life. I make sure I remain safe. I never wanted to risk having a child of mine out there somewhere."

I gasped as I let the truth of his words sink in. He was right. We hadn't used a condom, and I didn't once think of it. I never forgot it when I was sexually active with a man, although I was on birth control. I tried to determine if this was a good thing or not. He appeared calm about it.

"Rome, oh my God, I didn't think. Shit, we were so reckless. I'm clean, and I assume you are, too. We're lucky, too, on another front. You don't need to worry about having a child running around in the world. I'm on birth control." I tried to hide the hurt. I wasn't sure why his statement made me sad, and it hurt me.

He grasped my jaw gently yet firmly in his hand as he stared hard at me. "Mon Rêve, my remark about not having kids has nothing to do with us. The women I was with in the past meant nothing but a passing encounter for mutual relief. I didn't want them to be the mother of my children. You, on the other hand, I want you to have my babies. When you said at our compound you didn't need a man to have kids, you'd just use one. I wanted to protest so badly and tell you that there was no way in hell you would do that. I'd gladly be the father of your kids."

"But you just barely met me when I said it."

"True, but I already knew my fate. You and I are meant to be together, and it's not for a time then done. I'm not letting you go. If we made a baby the other night, I'd be thrilled. In fact, I'm kinda disappointed you're on birth control. As for what my plans regarding us and staying here are, I'll need to go back soon. I want you with me, but I know your life is here. We need to decide how to handle it. I love my club, and I would hate to leave them, but if it's the only way I can be with you, I'll do it. Do you think the Regulators will take me?"

I knew from growing up in a club how important it was to the members. It was their life, their family. There was no way I'd ever ask him or let him leave his. Sure, I would miss the Regulators and Moose, but it wasn't as if I wouldn't see them again. I could visit, and so could they. I wasn't a member in the true sense.

"I'm not asking you to leave your club, nor do I want you to. Your club is too much a part of you to leave them. No."

"You're so close to the club here. Would you be able to leave them and move to Tenillo to be with me?"

"I admit I'd be sad to leave them, but it's not as if I'll never see them again. As much as it might hurt, I feel not being with you will hurt far worse. Does this mean you want me to come to Texas? To live close to you?"

"Hell yeah, I do, but not someplace close to the compound."

"Where then?"

"At the compound. I want you to live with me. At first, we'll have to live in my trailer, but once our house is built, we'll move into it. They're rather quick about building them once we give them the location and the design plan. Before you tell me it's too soon to talk about living together, no, it's not. I wasn't gonna say this, but I feel I have to, so you know how damn serious I am about us as if the baby comment didn't do it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and to shape a future together. I love you, Shain Kinsley. There, I said it. Please don't think I expect you to say it back. I pray you'll feel the same one day."

I was so moved by his admission that I choked up, and my words wouldn't come out, so I did the next best thing. I wrapped myself around him and gripped the back of his neck to lower his mouth to mine. He came willingly. After pressing my lips to his and then nibbling on his bottom lip, I eagerly thrust my tongue inside when his lips parted as he groaned. His tongue wasn't shy about playing, and he readily took control of our kiss. His hands were tilting my head the way he wanted it, and he lightly pulled on my hair, which made me do the same to him. We kissed for a solid minute or more before he broke away. I whimpered and tried to get his mouth back, but he shook his head no.

"Why? I need more," I whispered brokenly to him. Just a kiss, and I was ready to go. My tiredness was forgotten.

"I do, too, but before we get lost in each other, we have to finish our discussion. It's important."

"It is, and if you aren't well-versed in translating what my kiss meant, let me tell you and answer your worries. First, I would like to move to Tenillo and be with you. In fact, last night, during my downtime, I went online to see if there was a need for firefighters in or near your town. Would you believe it? They have a posting about needing a couple in Tenillo. When I saw it, I jumped on it and sent off my resume. I have no idea if they'll call me or even hire me, but I applied.

"As for living on the compound with you, wow, it is fast and terrifying, but I love the idea. And finally, the reason I'm willing to uproot myself and move to Texas is simple. I love you too, Rome Torres. You've made me throw all caution out the window. Please, be real and sincere. This suspension may just be the answer in more ways than one. It frees me to spend more time with you, and if you want, we can go back to Tenillo for a week or two and see how it goes with me being there instead of you here."

The thought of it made me feel giddy. If I was gone and they decided to have me return, they'd find out I wasn't sitting at home waiting for their call. I wasn't feeling very charitable toward them, especially since Kreitz backed Laz and his behavior.

"You mean it?"

"I sure do."

"Then you sleep while I make some calls and arrangements. When you wake up, we'll talk more."

I tried to protest and stay awake, but he cuddled and warmed me. As he whispered to me what our life could be like, I fell asleep smiling and happy.