Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

MAX

I was going down in history as the worst captain of Hillview University. If there was an award for that, I'd win it hands down.

Rubbing my throbbing temple, I looked up at Coach Parker, Coach McCarthy, my parents and my manager, who were all very concerned and condescending over the news blowing up. We were gathered in the small meeting room of the sports center and they'd been hammering me with annoying attention and ideas for the better part of the morning. I couldn't wait to get out of there and join my team on the field for our afternoon practice.

It was safe to say the National Team never called me, despite my stats and achievements as a soccer player. I think trashing Thalia, even if it didn't come directly from me, was something the Coach was never going to get over. And it was all my fault.

I used those exact words, even if she typed them.

Everything I had planned carefully and built over the past couple of months came crumbling down.

I knew this was a dangerous play.

"Disappointed doesn't begin to cover how we feel," my dad informed, as if I cared about his opinion.

I glanced at Coach McCarthy with a pleading look, wanting to be out of this room as soon as possible as they discussed what damage control could be done and what were the possibilities moving forward.

A public apology and acknowledgment were already posted and pinned to all my social media accounts.

All images of Ivy and I were archived and wiped from my socials.

I had not talked to her since she left the hospital and I sent her the screenshot. I left her messages on read.

My manager had accepted a few charity-related projects for me to show I cared, which felt forced and stupid, but I didn't dare voice my opinion.

And of course, everyone expected me to perform in the finals and win the cup despite all of this. Winning it was key to show I was still the same person no matter the little slip-up.

I opened my mouth to defend myself, to explain how I really liked Ivy and it was becoming serious, but I closed it and decided against it, just like I did the past five times. My heart and my mind were at war, and I knew I had been played. My emotions, my caring was a weakness to the team and on the field. I was a liability because I cared and was kind.

Guess the whole issue with Thalia hadn't taught me anything. All those lessons just flew past me.

Granted, I would never forget this shitshow that went down. Not when it cost me my friend's season and my future career.

"Max?" Sky squatted. "I think this meeting has ended."

At some point as I was lost in thoughts, everyone had left the room. "Thank God," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Hey, one slip-up is not the end of the world," he tried calming me as my knee bounced. "At your age, I did bigger shit."

"Yeah, difference is you had a contract locked in and you were the Golden Boy," I reminded him. I was nothing but a college kid with a big dream. A college kid with a reputation that no soccer club would want to touch.

"There are worst people than you. In the grand scheme of things... all you did was try and help a friend. It backfired, but you had good intentions. Was it ethical and the right way? That is debatable."

Dex's recovery was going to take nine months, he was lucky. We had no striker for the finals either.

"Wallowing in self-pity is not a good image," Sky continued.

"I beat myself up when I make a wrong pass... how do you think I feel?" I asked. No one knew me better than Coach McCarthy. Even Coach Parker and I didn't have the same close relationship as I had with my mentor.

"Angry," Sky said. "You're angry because you did the right thing by everyone in your book. And you are now in deep shit. But at the same time, I watched you all morning, you wanted to go ahead and defend that girl. You're not willing to drag her through mud."

"I know people manipulated this situation." I cracked my knuckles and stretched my stiff back. "But she... she was a mess. Sanchez destroyed her, and I felt bad. I might have even felt more than just bad for her. It wasn't all pity. It was real to me and for her. It wasn't fake. It just sucks because it could have been so much more... it could have developed into something permanent and meaningful. It had the potential. We meshed well and it felt like it was meant to be. Now because it didn't start out as everyone thought it did... I can't even talk to her. It's not like by me keeping distance I will get a spot on the National Team. What's done is done."

Sky contemplated my words. "If that's how you feel, why did you agree to remove her from your social media?"

Good point.

"I was pissed off, angry for being manipulated, but I honestly don't think it was her. She is a victim as much as me. Even more because whilst I do have my very sour looking and asshole of a team," I smiled softly as I said that, "she's alone. She has no one else left. Her best friend sold her out, her sister is dating her douche of an ex and everyone else on campus acts like Ander Sanchez is a God. She only ever had me during this whole semester. And now she doesn't even have me."

He stared at me, and I blinked.

"Does any of this makes sense or am I going crazy?"

"I think you have feelings for this girl."

"I've gotten that far, thanks," I muttered sarcastically.

"You feel too much, too soon. And now the trust is broken and you are not sure what to do about it, how to proceed and what to believe."

"What do you suggest?"

Sky laughed and stood. "If I could make that decision for you, it wouldn't be called a life decision. It's up to you to decide, Max."

"Yeah, but..."

"There is no right or wrong. You can either follow your heart and give it a go or you can follow your mind and focus on your career do the steps we drew up, hope for another National Team invitation next year and a contract."

"I always wanted to play a World Cup," I muttered. "But I guess there is always a next time, in four years' time."

Sky nodded. "There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You fucked up first time in your life, people will get over it. Coach Henderson will get over it, I'm sure he is aware his daughter is way too much. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you move on."

"It's just tough. I'm worried about making another mistake. It feels like all year I've been making the wrong decisions."

"Our decisions lead us to a certain path. One or two wrong decisions don't mean your destination will change or that your path is wrong. You might just simply be choosing a harder path to take. There's no one to say what's right or wrong. Not as long as you follow your heart... or brain. Get out now."

I stood and nodded. "Thanks for the advice."

"But I thought you didn't get any advice out of my rumbling," Coach mocked me with a grin and I smiled back.

I needed to take the risk and follow my heart. It might have been the most dangerous of plays to pick, but I had nothing else to lose.

And there was something empowering about not having the pressure to be perfect and do the right thing.

"I just wanted to apologize," I said to my team as I stood in the middle of their circle. There had been some off-handed comments, and with Dex out, only Maddox and Liam were in my corner. People like Nico were out for blood, saying I destroyed the team and wanted me replaced.

"We already heard it," Alfie muttered with a shrug. "We're all over it. Let's just focus on winning."

"He should still be punished," Nico jumped in as I expected.

"I can punch you. Would that be good enough punishment for the stupidity leaving your month?" Maddox groaned.

"I understand you guys are still pissed off about the whole fake dating, but what's done is done, and I really want us to focus on winning the finals. We are a team, and we need to work together now more than ever. I cost us a player with the fake dating, but there's nothing I can do to bring Dex back. What we can do is win the cup for him and show him that we don't give up."

As far as motivational speeches go, I was almost as bad as Coach Parker. Maybe because I didn't believe my own words either.

"Why put us in this position?" Maverick asked.

I took a deep breath, locking my hands behind my neck. I had to open up and be honest with my team. They deserved to know. This game was built on trust and I broke their trust. So, all I could do was be honest.

"I'm in love with Ivy Ridge and it wasn't fake to me. At least not all of it. Not toward the end."

Gosh, it felt like a huge weight had been offloaded from my shoulders. It was good to say it out loud to my friends.

Liam cleared his throat. "No offense, Cap, but we knew that. It was pretty obvious. We never thought it was fake. Not from your side. We know you."

"We just don't get how you fell for her act," Hudson, our defender, chimed in.

I groaned. "It wasn't an act. She was played too. Because let's face it. Everyone knew I was gonna fall because I'm a softie." The team nodded in agreement. "Great, but she was coming off a huge breakup. She was broken."

"I'm missing the point," Marco, another one of our forwards, muttered. "Why fake date?"

"Well, I wasn't planning on falling in love," I confessed in case it wasn't clear to them. "It was supposed to keep Thalia at bay, land me a spot at the National Team and piss off Ander."

"At least you achieved one thing from that list." Liam chuckled, ruffling his blonde hair. "You pissed off Ander really bad."

"Technically... he was the one who told Edwins to convince Kaia to convince Ivy to fake date me. For me to lose focus."

"That backfired on him." Maddox grinned. "You didn't lose focus by being in love. You actually held on pretty well despite all the shit he threw. You didn't let it affect your game and the team."

"Until Dex ran his mouth," Aaron added. "That's what got him a target on his back."

"And fucking that chick who was dating Edwins," Alfie added.

I nodded, agreeing with the thought process. "Yes, but Dex only said what he did to protect Ivy because he knew what she meant for me, so it all comes back to me."

"This is a whole bunch of what-ifs and he said she said," Liam said, rolling his eyes. "You didn't cost us a player, it was Ander and the Lions who took that player from us. You kept it together the best you could."

I could have kept it together without that yellow card and losing my shit, but I nodded. I appreciated his way of thinking and it seemed like most of the team did too. They were all nodding along, and besides people like Nico, the majority was happy with the reasoning. Thankfully, the shitshow that broke out after people found out it was all a play in order for me to land a spot on the National Team was only a big deal to the National Team and me. That had no implications on my team whatsoever and I was grateful for that. Especially when they still wanted me to lead them in the next game. They still believed in me and wanted me as captain and that warmed my heart.

Or at least the pieces that were left of it.

"We showed up the Lions in the end, because even without a striker we came out on top," I went on and the guys cheered. "And now we need to keep pushing and prove to everyone who was doubting us that we are Titans, we may bend, but we can't be broken."

Cheers erupted around me, and I found myself in a middle of the group hug. My closest friends patting me on the back and Maddox grinned at me.

"Now, all you have to do is get the girl."

"Yeah, that ship has sailed... I..." I started with my excuses, but then I stopped and laughed. "Fuck it, I have nothing else to lose. I can do whatever I want."

"Operation Poison Ivy." Aaron grinned, getting my head in a neck lock.

"Come on." I pushed him off me and let out a relieved laugh. "You know her name is Blossom."

Liam's wide grin seemed to be contagious around the team as the guys nodded. "Operation Blossom is on."

"We can do that... after the finals. First, we need to win the cup for Dex."

I wanted nothing more than to drive over the Westpoint pick her up and kiss her until I ran out of breath. Maybe even longer.

But I had a duty to fulfill as team captain, and I already let everyone down. I wanted to make one good and sound decision this year by putting the team first. It wasn't going to land me on the National Team. But it was going to help me with my own guilt. Because if we lost the finals after I got Ivy back, I would have never forgiven myself.

And I wasn't going to enter a relationship just to doom it with my own guilt and self-depreciation. We both deserved more.

Even if that meant staying apart for a while longer.

I could just hope I wasn't too late when I got around to finding her.