Chapter 3

Amelia

This is my heartless era, being the big-hearted girl got me nowhere!

That's what I told myself on the bus ride here. I thought if I said it enough, I would start to believe it but it turns out two seconds of being in Cronos's presence and that shit flew out the fucking window. He has never been cold or angry toward me before, and I knew coming here to him would be hard but it's not like I could go crawling back to my family after I preached for years that I didn't need them. I bury my face in my hands and force my tears to remain at bay. The last thing I need to do is cry in the middle of this diner in front of these people who have been eyeing me weirdly since I walked in here this morning.

"A warm berry pie always solves anyone's blues." I jerk in fright at the sound of the voice. I look up to find the older woman from earlier, standing there with a large slice of pie and a warm smile on her face. My stomach grumbles and I wince in shame. My family never worries about money and yet here I am down to my last twenty dollars. I have my cards and all my accounts are loaded with money but I'm smart enough to know he would be tracking them if I was to use them. I only had the cash in my wallet with me when I left the bar that night, I guess I should have thought this out better.

"She doesn't like berries." I snap my gaze to the other side of the woman and my eyes widen at the sight of Cronos standing there looking like a dark angel. The woman smiles and pats him on the arm like they are familiar. The instant he looks at her, his anger vanishes and a warm look enters her eyes.

"Sit down, boy, I'll fix you a couple of plates and bring them out," she says.

"Thanks, Beth," he answers as she walks away and drops into the seat in front of me. That warm look from a second ago is replaced by a blank expression when he looks at me. I feel so out of sorts with him. It was never like this between us before.

"How did you find me?" I throw his words back at him, the slight narrowing of his eyes tells me he doesn't find my question amusing.

"What the hell are you doing here, Amelia?" I stiffen but don't flinch away from his harsh tone.

"I needed to… get away," I lie.

I can see it in his eyes that he knows I'm lying. If he calls me on it I don't know if I will be able to tell him the truth. I'm so ashamed of myself for what I allowed to happen and for how long I endured his cruelty.

"That his kid?" My jaw unhinges at his bold question, instinctively wrapping my arms around my belly. I wore this dress that night to shield my growing bump. Colson hasn't touched me in months and I have been so grateful for that because I can't hide this for much longer. When I take too long to answer he rests his forearms on the table and leans forward slightly. "Answer me," he forces out through clenched teeth.

"H-how did you know?" I rasp out.

He scoffs. "I know every inch of your body, Amelia. The fact you thought you could come here and I wouldn't notice that fucking bump is bullshit." A warmth overcomes me at his declaration. He doesn't say it to be cocky, he says it because it's true. He spent many hours studying every inch of my body as he ravished me.

You look good with the devil inside your pretty little cunt.

I shiver as the memory of his words replays in my mind. I quickly push them out of my head and force myself to focus.

"How did you know about… him ?" I ask. Cronos's whole demeanor changed when he leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, then darts his gaze out the window of the diner.

"I came to see you six months ago." My eyes widen in surprise.

"What?"

He slowly turns his gaze back to me but remains silent when Beth places two plates in front of us, the scent of the greasy food has my mouth watering and my stomach rumbling. I thank her and throw my manners out the window as I dig in. I moan when I chew the crispy bacon. I flick my gaze up to see Cronos frowning at me.

"What?" I ask around a mouth full of food.

He shakes his head. "Nothing, eat." He doesn't have to ask me twice. I shovel everything into my mouth like a starved prisoner, I guess in a sense I was. I was never allowed to eat anything like this. Colson always said I needed to watch my weight so I only ate what he allowed—oats, boiled chicken, brown rice or fruit. I was placed on a bland food diet, and it killed me to not eat my favorite treats. I push those thoughts out of my head. I escaped, I don't ever need to think about him again.

I surprise myself when I shovel the last bit of eggs into my mouth and sigh in contentment as I sit back in my seat with a smile on my face but the moment I take in Nos's angry look, the smile slips right off and I revert back into myself and drop my gaze to my lap, sit up tall and keep my shoulders square like he taught me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he snaps loudly. I gasp quietly and peek out the corner of my eye to see we have attracted the attention of the people eating around us. "Look at me!" I snap my head up automatically, fear takes a hold of me. I know rationally that Nos would never hurt me but I also thought the same thing about Colson and look how that fucking turned out for me! He flicks his eyes between mine and I see the moment he begins to piece things together, horror fills me.

I jump to my feet and rush out the door, needing to escape him and his prying eyes. I look left and right, trying to gauge which direction to go in. I dart left but I don't make it more than two steps before he grips my arm and yanks me back. A shrill scream escapes me without consent. Nos immediately releases me and raises his hands. Both of us stand here panting and staring at the other in terror.

He knows!

"Angel." I slam my eyes closed at his pet name for me. It's been so long since I heard it and I never knew how much I missed it until now. I slowly blink my eyes open and the sight of the anguish and anger warring in his brown eyes spears me.

"Don't ask me what happened," I clip out. His jaw locks and his nostrils flare.

"That why you won't go back to your dad?" I turn my head not wanting to see the judgment on his face.

"I don't want him to know about any of this," I spit. I take a second to gather myself before facing him again. "This is my business, not his."

He eyes me for a beat before nodding. "Get in the truck," he says as he walks past me and opens the door to a beaten up old Ford pickup with peeling paint. I don't question his request as I follow after him and slide into the cab, he follows after me. The ride back to his place is quiet. I guess neither of us know what to say to the other, the silence is awkward and filled with tension. There is so much that was left unsaid between us, but what I can't stop thinking about is him saying he came to see me six months ago.

He puts the truck in park out in front of his house but neither of us move to get out. "Why didn't you ever come to me when you came to Chicago six months ago?" I see his shoulders hunch out of the corner of my eye.

"Let's go," he says, not bothering to answer my question as he climbs out. I sigh and follow after him, not having much other choice. I shiver and pull my thin cardigan around me and rub my hands up and down my arms. Nos opens the wooden door and steps aside to allow me to enter first. I forget what it is like being around him. He always made sure to open doors for me like earlier and right now. I step inside and gasp.

It's like a hunting cabin from the movies, a small kitchen off to the left with a tiny two-seater wooden table, a cozy living room with one three-seater sofa that looks like it has been around for longer than I've been alive. But my focus is drawn to the large open fireplace with a recliner in front of it. A pile of books is stacked beside it. With a mind of their own, my legs carry me across the room and suddenly I'm kneeling down beside the pile and going through the stack. He says nothing as I open a book and flick through the pages, smiling at the sight of some of the pages being dog eared.

"You like to read?" I ask as I thumb through the pages of the book in my hands, his only answer is to grunt. I don't know if I'm shocked that he's reading or because of what the content of the books are. I place the books back in the stack and slowly push to my feet to face him. He assesses me with those all too knowing eyes. A shiver works its way down my spine, he's always looked at me like he can see beneath the layers of clothing I wear. "Why do you have so many autopsies and mortuary books?"

A single brow hikes up as if in challenge. "Why does it matter to you what I read?" Hurt unfurls inside me, I know he's angry and hurt but I never expected him to act this cold toward me.

I shrug trying to brush off my hurt as I answer. "I guess it doesn't, I was trying to…"

"Trying to what?" he pushes. "Get to know me? Find out if I'm reading that shit so I know how to dispose of bodies easier for your family?" I drop my gaze to the ground in shame. I said some horrible things to him out of fear, I never meant for them to hurt him as deeply as they clearly have.

"That wasn't what I meant," I mutter.

"Whatever. Take the room at the end of the hall, I'll be back later." Fear rushes to the surface inside me and without thinking I dart forward and grip the front of his shirt in my hands.

"Don't leave!" His eyes widen and realization slams into me. I release him quickly before hastily rushing down the tiny hallway to escape his questions. I dart inside the bedroom at the end of the hallway and freeze in the entryway. I look around bewildered at the sight. This room is… unoccupied. The bed is bare of sheets and blankets, the dressers are dusty and clearly untouched, the only foot traffic I can see is through to the adjoining bathroom.

Where does he sleep?

A thought hits me and my stomach sinks, what if he has a girlfriend and stays at her place? Was that where he was about to go? Searing pain burns inside me at the thought of another woman seeing him smile lazily when she runs her fingers through his hair, or when you scrape your nails along his side, he would burst out laughing. He may be dark and broody and give off I'll kill you vibes but the big Grizzly bear is ticklish.

Grow the hell up, Amelia!

I have no right to be standing here feeling hurt over him moving on with his life when I tried to do the same thing but… with the wrong person. I place my hand against my growing bump and smile. It's not huge or anything and I'm only roughly about twenty-two weeks pregnant—I tried to track my periods but they are so irregular. I also know that women can still get them throughout their pregnancies, which is why so many women don't even know they are pregnant.

I may hate him but I could never hate my little angel.

Warmth spreads throughout my body as I rub my belly. I always wanted to be a mother but I wanted to be married, have a home and be more established in my career before bringing a life into this world. A whoosh of air escapes me, that's not true. I always dreamed of children but I didn't want to bring them into the world knowing they could be used as a pawn or taken from me to get at my dad or uncle's. When I first realized I was pregnant, the first person I wanted to call was my mom. I slam my eyes closed and force my emotions to remain in check as I force my legs to move and carry me to the bathroom where I can cry privately.

The instant I close the door behind myself and turn the shower on my tears fall. I let the fear, worry and pain pour out of me. I have never felt so terrified in my life, except for the night my mom hid me under her bed when I was a child to keep me safe from the men who came to take me as leverage against my father. Colson inspired that amount of fear inside me now and I fucking let him, I let him hurt me. I allowed him to destroy the life I had built on my own. I was weak and couldn't handle never being enough for my father to renounce his place at my uncle's side. I pushed away a man I was in love with because I was terrified loving him would cost me, like it cost my mom loving my dad.

Allison Murdoch isn't like me, she doesn't need a man to hold her or make her feel complete. She was a single fucking mother. I may not be biologically hers but that woman is my mom and if any bastard tries to tell me otherwise, I will claw their fucking eyes out. Mom gave me everything I ever needed, kept me safe and raised me right. I will do the same for my child. I have to because I will not let the world I was born into harm my baby.

Now, I just need to figure out how to escape my past.