Chapter 10

Lying in the middle of the dance floor, I stared at the ceiling and watched the strobe of the lights as music vibrated the floor beneath me. There was still hours before opening, but I hadn"t been able to sit still. Only a few days had passed since my date with Trinity. We shared some texts, even before-bedtime calls. I understood she was busy with work and school, so I hadn"t pushed to make plans for the second, or in my mind, third, date.

She"d been overwhelmed; I"d sensed it as I"d kept pushing her higher. At every point of our first real intimacy, I"d established consent. Trinity had missed out on a lot when it came to relationships—dating. I needed her to experience everything she"d lacked before. Patience wasn"t my strong suit, I knew that, and readily admitted that was one of my faults.

The second I"d spotted her, my gut said she was meant to be mine. I wanted to spoil her. Show her what she should demand from a partner. What it meant to be someone"s priority. Hell, I needed her to feel safe and secure. I"d learned how to treat my person by watching Bruiser. The way he allowed my mother to blossom. Being that for Trinity would be a dream come true.

Patience. I repeated the word inside my head.

"What the hell are you doing here so early?" Gigi asked as she came into my field of vision and stared down at me.

She was already in her bartending outfit, completely decked out in her wig and makeup. Gerald—aka Gigi had known me way too long, and she was just waiting to call me on my shit. Gigi would smell blood in the water.

"What are you doing here early?" I asked in an attempt to deflect.

"I thought I"d married a mature, stoic man, instead I have a feral husband and three equally insane children."

I snorted and earned a glare. Thomas Blake was a powerful businessman in impeccable three-piece suits. At least that"s what Gigi had thought when she"d literally bumped into the single dad one night. A decade later, Gigi lived with four daredevils and thanked the Gods every day that her husband had really good health insurance.

"What did they do this time?"

"What I thought was a water balloon fight was actually balloons filled with paint. Goddamn, if that man wasn"t as sexy as he is, I"d have divorced him already."

"You knew the man was crazy after he took you to a rage room for your first date."

Gigi let out a gruff sigh. "I know, but our boys were so cute. Now, they're teenagers and I"ve lost count of scars and stitches at this point. At least they clean up after themselves. So, since you failed to sidetrack me, what are you doing here already?"

"The walls were kinda closing in around me," I answered as I tightened my abs and sat up, then got to my feet.

"Trinity still hasn"t agreed to another date?" Gigi asked as I followed her to the bar. She ducked under the apron as I took a seat on my usual barstool.

"No, I mean…" I rested my forearms on the glossy bar. "We"ve been talking and texting. She"s got school and work, I get it."

"Rogue, you"re not known for your impulse control sometimes."

"I know, Gigi, I know." I groaned. "I keep mentally reminding myself to be patient."

"The date went well, though, right?" Gigi leaned on the bar across from me, mirroring my pose.

"I think it went well. She said she had a great time. Again, she has a lot going on. I"m not used to craving someone as much as I do her. Part of me wants to tell her to bring her computer and books to my place. She can study and I"ll cook for her."

"You're a goner. I knew it when I caught you tracking her through the club. Then when she came to the bar and you bought her a drink. I love you, Rogue, but you have a very short attention span when it comes to romance."

"That"s not true. You know what Mama and Dad are like. I want that. That deep sense of belonging. Where you just want the person"s presence, it doesn"t matter what you"re doing."

"Charlotte and Bruiser really are right up there with relationship goals. I really was skeptical when Charlotte introduced Bruiser to the friend group way back when." Gigi sighed. "I was just a scared, little baby gay back then."

"You act like your forties are old."

"Some days. But seriously, Charlotte was like Mama to us all back then, still is, really. She was fearless. And Bruiser became the overprotective Dad that scared away all the bad partners. Came to the rescue without a second thought with a biker gang behind him. A lot of us judged our relationship by them. So, I get the wanting the Charlotte and Bruiser bond, but that isn"t easy, Rogue."

"Fuck, don"t I know it. I grew up in the house with them."

I earned that sympathetic expression I always did when I compared my lack of love life to everyone around me. Yeah, I was known as a bit of a player back in the day. It was never as much fun as people assumed. When I was in my twenties, I had a blast for a while. But sometimes when you hit the other side of thirty, you start to assess what you want from the rest of your life. Unfortunately, I just hadn"t figured out how to get what I wanted.

The image I'd cultivated as the fun-loving club owner in public and on social media was a curse and a blessing. A search of my name pretty much showed a partying lifestyle. It was carefree, at least for the camera. No one saw behind that. No one was privy to the nights I stayed in to enjoy the quiet. Or to binge-watch some mindless TV show. I enjoyed both my personas. Yet, that also meant the law of first impression was firmly in place.

A long nail tapping the end of my nose brought me out of my thoughts to find Gigi smiling at me.

"I know you, Rogue. I know what"s going on in your head. This place…"—she waved a hand around— "The events. The act. It"s a trap sometimes, I get it. When I leave here, I"m a suburban dad, married with three kids, two dogs, and a host of other animals my sons and my annoying husband bring home. Hell, I drive a damn minivan with the highest safety rating."

I snorted and earned a glare.

"You think I thought that would be my life when I was vying for cots at a shelter back in the day or crashing on someone"s lumpy, biohazard of a couch. No. But I also didn"t think I"d still be slinging booze. This is fun, but when I leave here, I leave it here."

"Sometimes I don"t feel as if I can leave it here, though. My last two girlfriends, if I can call them that, thought life was going to be an endless party. While I don"t mind having a few drinks, dancing a bit… this isn"t my life… it"s my job."

"Again, I get it, but the right one will see that. Maybe it"s Trinity, maybe not. You got to remember though, she"s recently out, still finding herself. You said she lived in a small town. A sheltered upbringing. That comes with a host of issues to resolve."

"Yep. I"m going to go to my office to get some work done and then I"ll get handsome for the evening."

"Like you need to try." Gigi smirked as they patted my cheek.

"I know, it"s a curse." I winked at her while she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. Straightening, I leaned over the distance that separated us and kissed her cheek.

Slipping off the stool, I made my way to the employee-only section and up to my office on the second floor. On the way up, I pulled out my phone to check my messages. There were the usual ones asking about what I was up to that weekend. The text thread between my parents and me, which ended up with me watching them flirt when I knew damn well they were in the same room.

It was a good damn thing I wasn"t a big drinker or Charlotte and Bruiser would"ve driven me to it. None from Trinity, but I opened her last message to me.

Me: Thinking about you. I hit send as I used my handprint to open my office door and got to work.