Chapter 9

My alarm had long gone off, but I ignored it because I had nowhere to be. All I planned was to contemplate the patterns on the ceiling and try to figure out what happened with Rogue. It was all so much and yet still not enough. The night that had begun with a dancing of nerves in my belly transitioned into hours of laughter as I sat in Rogue"s parents" home. An overwhelming comfort in seeing all my secret dreams embodied in the couple who"d raised the person I was on a date with.

What I needed was advice. Freida would ambush me soon enough. What would I ask, though? Just the thought of the way Rogue"s hands had felt on my skin caused goosebumps. The way their lips conformed to mine. That husky voice whispered so many promises in my ear—promises I wasn"t sure I could handle. They"d tucked their fingers between my knees, stroked upward, and I"d tensed in fear when Rogue had cupped me in their palm.

In twenty-six years, I"d never experienced a heavy make-out session. Of course, I"d had some minimal foreplay before the main event. Yet as Rogue had stretched me out on a blanket they"d spread on the deck, I"d felt close to panic. Soft lips caressed my ear, Rogue had hushed me and told me to just enjoy.

No clothes had come off. There were just kisses and touches, words of praise. Rogue had edged me until I"d barely been able to breathe or stay still. Every arch or twist of my body against theirs, a shuddered moan as I tried to calm earned me the quietest muttering of good girl. If I"d thought Rogue calling me babygirl destroyed my common sense, that had nothing on being their good girl.

I shot upward in bed when my door flew open and Freida ran, and then soared into bed beside me. "I gave you privacy, now spill. You didn"t come home until almost dawn and you"re awake already. Did it suck?"

I laughed at her expectant expression as she cuddled against me. What did I want to tell her? Hell, I needed to be truthful because I required so much advice.

"It didn"t suck." And it hadn"t, it was as close to perfect for what I assumed a first date would be.

"That"s good."

I snorted at the hint of disappointment in her voice.

"So, start from the beginning, don"t leave out any details."

"Well…" I paused as I rolled to my side and propped myself up on my forearm. "We went to Rogue"s parents' place."

"What?" Her voice went up several octaves. "You met the parents on the first date. Wow, Rogue ain"t playing."

"It was nice. Charlotte and Bruiser were perfect. Loving and affectionate. He"s so obsessed with his wife it"s almost a force you can feel. When we showed up, Rogue yelled for them to get dressed. They came into the kitchen all flustered and smiling."

"That"s nice."

"It was. He completely catered to Charlotte. Bragged about every little thing she"s ever done." Rogue had catered to me too. Drinks and making sure I was comfortable. I"d quickly learned where Rogue got their charm from. "We spent hours laughing, and then Rogue and I had a late, light dinner before we went on the cruise."

"Continue."

"Rogue"s friend who owns the boat disappeared below deck to give us privacy."

"Did they make a move… come on too strong?" Freida"s tone sharpened.

"No, no, nothing like that. It was peaceful. We had drinks, there was some fruit, cheese and crackers. At some point, I"m staring up at the stars. Enjoying the quiet. Rogue cuddled me to their side. They gave me their jacket so I"d be warm."

"You"re slow-playing me. What don"t you want to talk about?"

I"d known my best friend my entire life and I felt her anxiety like it was my own. "Rogue said, they"dfalltotheirkneestoworshipmewithonelittleyesDaddyfrommyperfectlips," I said with one breath, turning it into a single word.

"Um, was that English? Maybe slow it down and break it apart because I only caught like three words."

"Fine. Rogue stroked their thumb across my lips and said, they"d fall to their knees to worship me with one little yes, Daddy from my perfect lips."

"Um, ooooo-kay, and what happened after that? Did you throw yourself into the water and swim for shore?"

I pushed against her chest as she laughed at my expense. "No, I didn"t make a watery escape."

"After meeting Rogue, I"m not really shocked. They have that vibe about them."

"I was."

"That"s because you"re as vanilla as they come."

I opened my mouth to deny it and she arched a brow, cutting me off.

"Listen, I love you, Trinity, but you"re straight-up missionary. Yeah, you had a bunch of hookups, but they were with all the same type of men. There was no deviation. You probably couldn"t pick them out of a lineup."

"I"m feeling very judged here."

"Don"t be. We all have our thing. Your parents, while great and loving, were pretty conservative. You spent a lot of time sheltered. You"ve come out of your shell since we moved here, but you still have that mentality. Which is fine."

Was I a prude? I didn"t think so. So what if my parents were strict and were very adamant I didn"t date until I graduated? Yeah, I hooked up some, and always with masculine, closeted guys.

"Did last night end in a hook-up?" Freida asked.

"No, Rogue spread out a blanket and stretched us out on it. We kissed and touched, but no clothes came off. Rogue didn"t even put their hand in my panties. It was a very intense make out session. Last night, Rogue told me if that night was all they got with me they weren"t going to lie about what they wanted. I"ll never hear good girl in the same way ever again."

Freida snorted so loud I thought she may have hurt herself.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"That"s not for me to decide. My opinion though, is Rogue is good for you. I"ll say that I never thought you"d take a chance on someone like them. I was shocked you agreed to a date."

"It"s so intense. Rogue is all in, without a doubt, and then there"s me. I question everything. The way Rogue makes me feel terrifies me. What if I get in too deep and it ends?"

"Trini, listen to me, you"re already thinking about the end at the beginning. It was the first date, well, second if you count the one where they took you home and made you dinner." She took a breath and exhaled a heavy sigh. "Rogue took you to their parents" place to show you what a future for you could look like. We had a shitty education before we left our hometown. All you believed was you were going to be miserable in some marriage you didn"t want. It"s different here. I think Rogue wanted you to see that happiness was your choice. So what if the person you want is Nonbinary with a spicier bedroom persona than you"re used to?"

"I just got freaked out once the distraction of Rogue wasn"t there." I cuddled back under the covers and held my pillow to my chest.

"Understandable. Now, the real question: Do you want a third date?" she asked as she tapped the end of my nose.

I didn"t have to think about it too much. "Yes."

"Then that"s all you need to focus on. Have they texted you today?"

"No, but I"m pretty sure they"re normally nocturnal with running the club. I should be asleep," I whispered as I realized with the panic and indecision ebbing away, I was exhausted. I"d ridden a high for days since I"d agreed to the date, and then throughout it.

"You should. Cranky Trini is not pretty. And you"re back to work and school tomorrow." She lunged forward and blew a loud raspberry on my forehead. I batted her away and she bounced off my bed, and ran from the room.

As my phone chimed, I twisted to grab it from my nightstand. Unlocking the display, I saw Rogue"s name, and smiled as I clicked on the message.

Rogue: Couldn"t sleep. Wished I"d talked you into coming home with me.

My thumbs hovered over the screen, but another text popped up. Even as I rolled my eyes, I grinned as I read what they wrote.

Rogue: Don"t freak out so much. I know that beautiful brain is trying. Text me after you"ve processed.

They think they"re so damn smart. I hated they were right, though.

Me: Couldn"t sleep either. Getting ready for a nap. I had a great night.

Great, that was a bit of an understatement. Not only had I never had as much fun before, but I"d also learned that I had no idea what my body was capable of. That was both addictive and scary. I sent a quick text to tell Rogue to get some rest and I"d talk to them later.

They told me to text them after I processed. I wanted more dates—I just wanted more. Did I have the bravery to let everything go and let Rogue in? Only time would tell. First, though, sleep.