Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Connor

Connor stifled a groan when he and Bliss pulled up at Reid and Winnie’s house, which was already decked out for Christmas. They’d gone all out with lights outlining the house, wreaths on the doors and windows, and a fully decorated tree in the front window. If Reid put one of those inflatable reindeer in his front yard, Connor wouldn’t be surprised.

Shaking his head, Connor sighed. The things Daddies did for their Littles. He knew it was for Winnie because Reid had damn sure never decorated his house before. All the houses in Arcadian Hills looked the same. And then there was his house, standing bear of adornment at the back of the subdivision. If he got one more notice from the HOA about not joining in the community spirit, he was going to shoot someone.

He'd get to it. Eventually. This year was no different from the ones before. Another year where he’d put off doing anything to decorate his house. Of course, now the Musketiaras gave him more grief about being a Scrooge than he could take. He’d string up lights and decorate his tree just to see the smiles on their faces.

What would Bliss think about his four-foot artificial tree from the local discount store? Everyone else went out to Pine & Danni’s Christmas Tree Farm and chopped down their own giant Christmas tree. The Littles loved it, and the guys had a contest to see who could chop down their tree the fastest.

Maybe he was a Scrooge, but Christmas held no fond memories for him. He was probably the only kid in his hometown who’d rather have been in school than home for the holidays. His dad was a drunk and not a nice one. He’d beat the hell out of anyone he could catch whenever he was hammered.

Winnie ran out the front door and across the yard as they pulled up in front of the house. “Bliss! I’ve been worried! Why didn’t you call me?”

“Tinkerbell!” Reid yelled as he jogged out on her heels. “What did I say about running out into the front yard by yourself?”

Winnie squealed then laughed when Reid caught her and tossed her over his shoulder, smacking her ass as he loped back inside. “Come on in. I kept dinner warm for you. Ouch! Daddy, not so hard.”

Connor didn’t catch everything Reid said, but it had something to do with clipping fairy wings. Reid set her down just inside the doorway and sent her on her way with one more squeal-inducing smack to her backside.

Connor turned to Bliss, and the longing in her eyes robbed him of breath. He cleared his throat before he spoke. “You ready to go inside?”

Bliss nodded in response. “I need to check on the girls.”

She reached for the door handle but froze when he grabbed her arm. “Do not touch that handle. I will come around and help you out and into the house.”

She faced him then, and he took the time to take in more than he had before. His gaze traveled over her long, ebony hair that didn’t gleam as much as before, her smooth, high cheekbones that were more angular, and her wide eyes now dimmed with fatigue and underscored with dark circles.

A sense of failure overwhelmed him. He’d let her down. He should have tried harder to find her and bring her back home months ago. She needed someone to care for her as much as she cared for those in her life. More and more, he was fighting the urge to be that someone. Not only did she need a Daddy, he was also beginning to think he needed a Little, too.

“I can open a car door, Connor.”

He missed the musical quality her voice usually had.

“I didn’t think you couldn’t, trouble. But just because you can doesn’t mean you’re going to. Not while I’m around.” She was determined to prove she could take care of herself, but he wasn’t so sure.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. But the relief and satisfaction in her eyes didn’t escape him. After he opened her door, he reached in and lifted her into his arms again.

“Connor! Put me down!” She squirmed, trying to escape his arms.

That wasn’t going to happen. Not when she’d practically fainted earlier, swept away in a panic attack. Had she been to a doctor since she’d been home? He’d be putting a call in to Bones to set one up if she hadn’t. “Unless you want a taste of what Reid gave your sister, I suggest you calm down.”

She stilled, now looking every inch the Little he remembered. There was a weariness in her eyes he’d never seen before she looked away. “We both know you don’t want to go down that road with me.”

But Conn wasn’t sure what he knew anymore. He knew she was a perfect fit for his arms. He knew he liked her there. He’d told himself she was off limits now that she had kids, but her nearness had him questioning that, too.

She wasn’t taking care of herself, and that didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t know much, well, anything, about taking care of a baby, but he knew it was a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. That was for one baby, and she had three.

He clenched his jaw to hold his words back. Words he didn’t need to say, but someone sure did. Why wasn’t Reid looking out for her? The thought of anyone else taking on that responsibility made him want to punch something.

Once inside, he headed straight to the sunken living room. Bliss sucked in a breath when she spotted their big Christmas tree. Yeah, the tiny one in the window was just for show. Between the lower floor and the cathedral ceiling, Connor was pretty sure this one was thirteen feet at least.

Winnie moved in the second Connor had Bliss seated on the couch facing the tree. Trouble was in good hands as Georgia and Breezy gathered around to chat about all things Christmas and babies.

He moved to the kitchen to grab her a plate of whatever food he could find and a large mug of hot chocolate. He should have known as soon as he entered the kitchen his brothers would descend.

As usual, Deke was the first out of the gate. He’d gotten even worse since he and Suzi had worked everything out. It was hard to decide which one of them was nosier. “So, Conn, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Not really, no.” Connor wasn’t one for playing twenty questions.

“So, you were alone with Bliss for over an hour, and nothing interesting happened? This is the same Bliss you rescued, lost, searched until you found again, and worked your sources to death to keep tabs on, right?” Gage asked.

Connor didn’t appreciate Gage’s tone, so instead of an answer, he gave him his happy middle finger. Gage laughed and gave it right back.

Reid still had business on his mind. “I need you to stop by the garage tomorrow and get caught up on what we discussed at the meeting.”

Connor nodded as he put a few pigs in a blanket on a plate for Bliss, along with some carrot sticks and broccoli with some kind of dip in a bowl close by. “That works. I need to drop off Bliss’s car anyway. It needs four new tires and a spare. You might as well check over the whole thing. She’s driving a piece of shit 1979 Nova.”

Reid scowled. “What do you mean it needs four new tires? She’s been driving around for two months and didn’t say anything? Why the fuck not?”

“That’s a good question.” One of many Connor wanted answers to.

Lucky for one naughty Little girl who kept secrets, he couldn’t ask right then because Zane decided to join the conversation.

Connor still wasn’t sure about the kid. He’d left the Lawless Warriors MC when everything went down with Suzi, but Connor wasn’t sure he was settled yet. Lawson had taken him in, and they seemed to be tight.

He signaled Zane to go ahead with a lift of his chin.

“Is it true that Nova means ‘it won’t go’ in Spanish?”

For a minute, no one spoke. They all stared at Zane, whose face had turned so red it was almost purple.

Then Law slapped him on the back of the head. “Do you think a company the size of Chevrolet would pick a name that stupid for one of its cars?”

“Hey!” Zane rubbed his head. “What happened to there’s no such thing as a dumb question?”

Law glared at him. “I stand corrected.”

The room erupted in laughter. Connor was thankful everyone’s eyes had a new target.

Everyone hung around and chatted. When one of the babies started crying, they took it as their cue to leave. Connor listened to the tiny wails and tried not to break out in hives like a dumbass. He wanted to pick up whichever of the girls was crying, but he’d probably break her.

Once everyone else had gone, Reid motioned him over. “Conn, before you go, I’d like a word.”

Wary, Connor nodded. “What’s on your mind, brother?”

“I think you can guess,” Reid said, his tone serious. “It probably doesn’t need saying.”

“And yet you are saying it.” Connor didn’t want to end the evening in a fight with one of his brothers. He leaned his hip against the kitchen island and crossed his ankle.

“It’s my job as her big brother. We both know Bliss has been through a hard time. I don’t want her to be confused about any attention you show her.”

“She’s not easy to confuse, brother. Especially since no one is trying to confuse her.”

Reid wasn’t done. “She might misunderstand your attention. I appreciate you helping her out today, but she’s been hurt enough. So, if you’re thinking about filling up more of her free time, make sure you know what you want.”

Connor stiffened. If Reid thought he’d take advantage of Bliss when she was trying to take care of three children and make a new life for all of them, then they were going to have a problem, brother or not. “I’d never do anything to hurt Bliss, and you know it. Besides, it’s not like she’s sitting around twiddling her thumbs with all that free time you’re talking about. She’s running herself ragged. If you’re her brother now, you have to know that. You need to get her some help.”

Reid stared at him and then grinned.

Fuck. He shouldn’t have said anything. Reid was staring at him like he’d just declared his undying love for the woman or something. He hadn’t done that. Not at all. And yet, there had always been something about Bliss that pulled at him. “She’s tough, but she’s fragile.”

“Oh, I know that,” Reid said. “I just wasn’t sure you knew it. Or cared, for that matter.”

Oh, he cared. More than he should. His brain and his emotions were in full-out war. He just needed to make sure his dick stayed out of the discussion. Then his brain would be outnumbered two to one. Fuck.

He needed to leave before he said or did something stupid. “I need to head out. I’ll be at the garage tomorrow with Bliss’s car.”

He headed to the living room to say goodbye to the girls. After the regular rounds of hugs and farewells, he found Bliss in the spare bedroom changing diapers. She cooed and chatted with the girls, keeping them entertained as she worked.

She was incredible. He knew without asking she was sacrificing a lot to take care of her girls. She must be doing a great job because they were healthy and happy. Adorable.

But he knew why she’d lost weight, and her clothes were all thrift-store finds. She was doing without so her girls wouldn’t have to. That was what moms did. But she shouldn’t have to do without anything.

Connor got what Reid was saying. It would gut him if he hurt Bliss in any way. But he was going to find a way to help her. He could make sure she had food and all the other things she needed, even if he had to do it anonymously. She wasn’t going to do without anymore.

Crossing the room, he sat on the bed while she changed the youngest baby. A tug on his pants had him looking down, and the face of an angel started up at him. Doing his best to ignore the panic clawing at him, he smiled down at the tiny girl. With her ivory skin and red cheeks, not to mention her soft blonde curls, she looked like a porcelain doll.

“Who is this?” he asked, trying to keep his voice soft and gentle.

Bliss glanced down and beamed at her daughter. “Pink fingernails mean Sadie. Sophie’s are purple.”

“You paint their fingernails already?” That seemed young.

Bliss giggled. “It isn’t easy to tell identical twins apart when they aren’t old enough to talk. I paint Sadie’s nails pink and Sophie’s purple to make it easy to know who’s who.”

When he looked back down at Sadie, she reached up to him. Even he knew she wanted him to pick her up. What if he dropped her? Or what if she cried? Bliss giggled again, but then that sad look he hated returned to her eyes.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get her in a second. I just have to get Nori’s socks on her.”

Okay, now Connor felt like a wimp. He’d tracked down murderers and drug lords. He could pick up one tiny baby. “That’s okay. I’ve got her.”

Leaning over, he lifted Sadie onto his lap. God, he hoped he didn’t drop her. She smiled at him, chattering in some baby language he had no hopes of deciphering. She was the most beautiful creation he’d ever seen.

He smiled at her and, in the gentlest voice he had, said, “Hi there, Sadie. My name’s Connor.”

She blinked at him. He’d never felt more scrutinized in his life. Her chattering started back up, and he had the feeling he was being scolded. Out of the blue, she smacked him on the nose with her chubby hand. “Da-da-da-da,” she said, staring straight at him.

He turned to Bliss, whose cheeks were scarlet. “She’s learning to talk. She sees pictures of men in her books, and I always call them that. She doesn’t really know what she’s saying.”

Turning back to Sadie, Connor took another look at the set of her jaw and wasn’t so sure. He needed to get out of there. He’d never wanted to stay anywhere more. But he was a protector, even when the one he was protecting others from was him. He should never have come into the room. Leaving was too hard.

Sitting Sadie down on the floor so she wouldn’t fall and hurt herself, he stood to go. “I just came to let you know I’d take care of getting your car to Winnie’s shop in the morning. It will be fine until then. I’ll be over in the morning to drive you to work.”

The pain filling Bliss’s eyes hurt him more than anything he’d ever known, and he’d known more than his fair share of pain. This was why he needed to stay away from her. Hurt was the only thing she’d ever gotten from him, and it was all she ever would.

It took all his strength not to run for the door, but he managed to walk.

“Connor, wait! I have something I need to talk to you about.”

“You’ll have to tell me tomorrow, trouble. I have someplace to be right now.” He didn’t look back. He didn’t slow down. It was for the best.