7. Riley

Chapter 7

Riley

It was mind boggling that one breakfast with Adam could highlight how completely shittastic my last Daddy James had been. I couldn’t even blame it on him either. Not fully. It was my fault just as much as it was his. I allowed him to treat me that way.

When he said that was all he could give, I accepted it and didn’t push for what I needed. But now that I’d gotten a glimpse of what it could be like to have someone who actually cared about me the way a Daddy should, I wanted that.

I wasn’t gonna settle again.

Sure, I would play at the club and do scenes once in a while—but when it came to relationships, I wanted it all.

It was funny because I’d always known that’s what good Daddies did—they took care of their boys. I even had friends who said their Daddies were like that, but I guess I thought it was all pretend. Just for show to get to the playtime fun. The naked playtime fun. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see because I didn’t want to admit the choices I’d been making were causing my problems.

And I’d made some really bad choices.

Who would’ve thought a work trip could lead to so much introspection? Unfortunately, that introspection made the day drag.

And drag.

And drag.

I had multiple meetings and workshops, and every single one of them went on for eons. At least I had a half-hour break for lunch. According to the organizers, time was a premium, and instead of letting us go to one of the nice restaurants in the casino, they provided dry sandwiches we could grab and scarf down quickly.

I’d eaten a lot at breakfast and was still full, but even if I had been starving, I needed to get out of there far more than anything else. A break from the noise and the crowd, and all that annoying peopling .

Walking right past the stacks of boxed lunches, I worked my way outside and found a little spot in the shadows where there was no one else around. I just needed some air. But when a cute couple came and stood beside me, I realized how poorly I’d chosen my escape.

Right beside me was the display window for a children’s store, at least I thought it was because the display was 100% Vegas-kid themed. They had tiny T-shirts and cars that said “Vegas” across the front and stuffies all over the place. There were the kinds so ginormous that you couldn’t possibly bring them back on a plane to those that could fit in your pocket. It was a really fun display, but also, it made me wish some of the items were for a person my size.

There was a onesie in particular that stood out to me. It said “Las Vegas” across the front, but that wasn’t the special part. The words were a combination of prismatic and glitter lettering. I had no idea what that was called, but suddenly, I wanted a ton of it in my life. Without thinking too hard about it, I pulled out my phone to get a picture of it. They wouldn’t have anything for me in that store, but maybe it was something I could find online at one of the stores that specialized in all things Little.

And then my head, being the fun place it was, reminded me that maybe me liking those things would be a deal breaker to Adam, which was ridiculous because we weren’t anything that could be broken. We couldn’t be anything because what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas and all that.

But having that knowledge didn’t stop me from wanting to be something with him.

Before I could think my way out of it, I sent the picture to Adam.

Is this a deal breaker? I regretted it instantly and wanted to dirty delete it, but before I could try, he’d already seen it.

Oh, that looks like you. It wasn’t the response I was expecting, but I took it as a compliment and sent back a little gif of a kitty cat smiling—not Cheshire Cat smiling, but kinda along that line. In hindsight, it hadn’t been the best choice.

He sent back a gif that said “Deal or No Deal” from an old game show, with the “Deal” side super bright and the “No Deal” side all grayed out. “Not a deal breaker,” was the caption that flickered across the image.

We went back and forth with silly little gifs and memes that didn’t really make a coherent conversation, while at the same time, they totally did. It was silly flirting, but procrastinating seemed more prudent than asking what I wanted to ask him.

Finally, I found my bravery and did. Do you like onesies on your Littles? I wasn’t going to know unless I boldly asked, right?

You would look adorable in one.

Because I didn’t know how to respond like a real grown-ass adult, I sent back a gif of a cute little cartoon cat dancing. Cats seemed to be the theme for the day.

What else do you like? His question was my chance to tell him everything without having to watch his face as I did. If he decided he didn’t like me, we wouldn’t have to see each other during the rest of my trip. That would be easier than seeing his rejection straight to my face.

At least, that was how I justified it as I told him that I liked binkies and stuffies and footie jammies, towels with hoods, and chicky nuggies—not with words, of course, because apparently those were nonexistent to me right now. But I sent the pictures, one after another after another, and he hearted each and every one of them.

I was acting like a teen with a shiny new phone, but this was also a very adult conversation. One I was enjoying. Sadly, time was winding down. I need to get back to my meeting. Talk to you later?

Absolutely.

I went back inside, but unlike before, the meetings were bearable. My focus was just as bad as earlier, but my heart was a bit lighter. Then, as I walked into my three o’clock session, I was told that the presenter had flight issues and it was canceled. They gave me a list of other talks that I could potentially sit in on, but in the back of my mind, I kept hearing Adam say that I was probably going to be ready for a nap.

Was that what he wanted? Would he tell me to take a nap if he was here? He said he liked taking care of his boys, making sure they had the right food and everything. Yeah, he’d want me to get some sleep.

That’s when I decided I was going straight to bed and would make him proud. I went back up to my room, and right before I laid down, I sent him a gif of a sleeping kitty.

He was going to be proud.

I just knew it.