2. Adam

Chapter 2

Adam

As the plane touched down in Nevada, I mentally ran through the few things I still needed to pick up at the drugstore before my presentation in the morning. Nipple shields, leak pads, and ointment. These were all basic items that I kept stocked in my home office, but when I traveled, it was easier to just buy supplies locally and give them away than to pack a whole extra bag of leave-behinds and bring home an empty bag.

The Lactin Brotherhood’s Annual Conference was one of my favorites of the year. Not only was it always in Vegas, one of the funnest cities in the world, but I got to see so many of my friends in one place. As one of the foremost lactation consultants in the country, I got invited to speak all over the country. But there were only a handful of invitations I accepted, and this was one of them.

I had a few sessions this year, but the morning keynote was the one I was most nervous about. Not because I didn’t know what to say or how it would be received—I’d been speaking to large crowds for almost a decade, ever since I first started lactating and decided to study lactation as a career—but because it was such an important topic. So many of the guests were new to lactation and feeling scared and confused.

My talk was often the catapult for them to accept what was happening to their body and how they could move forward in a positive and productive way. It was a big responsibility that I took seriously. And when teary-eyed people came to thank me at the end, I knew I was doing the right thing.

Helping others was just in my nature. Whether it was a little old lady in the market or a little boy in the club play room, I just wanted to make sure needs were met and people felt loved and cared for. Of course, my friends liked to remind me that my caretaking of others resulted in never having my own needs met. And that was okay. I had my work. I had my buddies. And when I could find the time to plan a scene, I had Littles at the club.

That was good enough for now.

It had to be.

The hotel was recently remodeled and huge. Several casinos were all connected by breezeways and trains and hallways, so everything I possibly needed was just a few turns and card tables away. A few of my friends were meeting for dinner at one of the sushi places, so I quickly unpacked and showered and then headed down to the restaurant.

Chad saw me first and stood up to flag me over. “Adam, hey! I saved you a seat by me.”

He was at a long table with several familiar faces looking up at me as I nodded and waved to everyone on my way to the empty chair. “Hey, everyone. Sorry I’m late.”

“Nah, you’re just in time. We’ve ordered a few apps and a ton of sushi. But if there’s anything else you want, just tell the guy when he gets here.”

He held up a glass of sake. “You’re safe to drink, right? No clients you need to stay sober for?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “No clients for me. Purely pump and dump this week. So, yeah, I could definitely use a drink.

“Nice.” He waved to the waiter and asked him to bring me whatever he was drinking. That was fine. I rarely drank, so these trips were my time to indulge. And as Chad so kindly pointed out, I had no one to keep my milk clean for, so I was up to catch a buzz. “I’ve got my boy here, but he likes to get a little buzz from my milk, so he told me to drink up.”

I was just taking a sip of water and almost choked on it. “Seriously. I didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

“Yeah, Ricky.” Chad took a drink and then flashed a goofy grin. “He’s so cool. He’s a Little, and we’re basically in Daddy/Little mode full-time. He loves to nurse and lets me have full control. He’s more than I ever hoped for.”

“Wow.” Chad was one of those guys I expected to be perpetually single because he was a bit of a manwhore. A great guy and sexy as fuck, but not the settling-down type. At least, not that I’d expected. “I’m really happy for you. Surprised, but happy. Truly.”

“Thanks, man. What about you? Anyone special in your life?” He grabbed a piece of edamame and sucked the beans out of it and waved the skin at me. “You’re such a good Daddy. You hiding a team of Littles out there from all your speaking gigs?”

“No, that’s not my style.” The waiter brought my drink and set it in front of me. I paused long enough for Chad to lift his glass so we could toast and take a drink. “I don’t have time to meet anybody. Between hosting classes and traveling, there’s not a lot of time to get to know people.” I glanced around the table. “So which one is Ricky? I’d love to meet him.”

Chad waved to a wall that separated part of the restaurant. “He’s at a meet-up with a bunch of the Littles and subbies. You know how they get at these conventions.” He rolled his eyes and laughed. “I’m glad Ricky is the jealous type and doesn’t let me feed anyone else anymore. As much fun as these used to be, they were fucking exhausting.”

“Yeah, I remember those days.” When I first started coming to conferences, I got wrapped up in all the lactation scenes and lining up the milk sluts who couldn’t get enough. But after a few years, that got old. Lately, I’d basically become celibate, but sometimes that was just how things worked out.

Being alone was okay with me. I could be content to just help others and live without a partner of my own. Maybe when I retired, I’d find someone looking for a companion, but unless somebody walked into one of my classes and begged for my attention, I didn’t anticipate ever meeting someone for myself while I was still working.

“I’m really happy for you, Chad. You deserve to find happiness.”

He cocked his head and looked at me. “You do too, man. And you’re gonna find it. What I’ve learned is that love will sometimes show up where we least expect it.”

Since I didn’t expect it at all, I guessed it could be anywhere. “Yeah, maybe.” I reached for a dumpling with my chopsticks. “Now, let’s eat. I’m starved.”