Chapter 24 - Lex

The meeting is almost at an end. We have decided to go with KobiTech for developing the maps app. I voiced my concerns about the company in the meeting, but we decide to use them anyway. We can't base every business decision on gut instinct alone. They come with impressive recommendations and can get the job done quicker and cheaper than anybody else in the market. I just hope this decision doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.

We start talking about other stuff like we always do at the end of a meeting. The guys know that Nic and I are seeing each other. They have fallen into an annoying habit of asking about my relationship with Nic after meetings. But today I'm in no mood to indulge them. For one thing, Nic has been a bit under the weather for the last few days, and for another, my danger sensors have gone into hyper-drive, especially in the last week. I don't know what any of it means and I don't know what to do. Not being able to take action is making me more frustrated than ever.

I am worried about Nic. I hope she's not coming down with anything serious. The thought of anything happening to her, no matter how trivial, makes me feel uneasy. She still feels that she's being watched, but she says that she feels safe with me around. It makes my chest swell with pride to think that I make her feel safe. It also humbles me that she has placed her trust in me.

But the ever-present sense of danger has me on the edge. Imagine the fight or flight response you feel when faced with imminent peril. The response typically lasts only for a few minutes. During the response, more blood is pumped by the heart to give you more energy, your muscles are tense, ready to go into action at a moment's notice. This is how I've been feeling almost every single minute of every single day for the last couple of weeks. The only time I'm not feeling it is when I'm making love to Nic. When she is in the bed next to me, I don't even have to resort to the herbal remedy to help me fall asleep.

She has of course noticed my odd behavior since we're spending almost every night together, but has made no comment on it so far. I think she has attributed it to me being worried over her being watched. And she is right. I think what I'm feeling has got something to do with Nic being watched. Who is watching her and why? Do they plan on harming her? I don't know what I will do if anything happens to her. The thought that somebody is out there, wanting to harm her, is enough to set my teeth on edge.

I'm also worried about how long my ‘relationship' with Nic is going to last. Though she hasn't said anything, she has been particularly moody this last week. I know she had hoped that I would change my mind, and I was almost tempted to a few times, but then I'm reminded of what is at stake.

There's conversation going on around me, but I'm not listening to a word. I discreetly glance at Liam and Pat. They seem to be doing just fine. I don't know about the others, but after the anniversary party, I was secretly worried that their relationship would show some signs of strain, like it always does when all our families come together for the major holidays. It has been years since the incident, but some things leave a permanent void.

When my relationship with Nic ends, at least I won't have to worry about the guys. And by not letting myself get involved too deeply, I might even stop my heart from being broken.

I sigh and close my eyes. I know I'm deluding myself. When Nic leaves me, it will leave a gaping hole in my heart that will never, ever heal.

Then claim her!My dragon growls. I ignore him.

When I open my eyes, the others are staring at me like I've grown a pair of horns.

"What?" I snap.

"You're looking… unwell," TJ says tactfully. I rub a hand over my face.

"I'm alright. It's this not knowing what's around the corner and not being able to do anything about it is killing me."

I stand up from my chair.

"Time to head back. Let's not dawdle. Lots to do yet before we call it a day."

Without waiting for a reply, I head out of the conference room, heading straight to my office.

"Lex, Nic stopped by," Rachel says the minute she spots me. My eyebrows shoot up my forehead. Nic was supposed to be resting today. She hadn't even protested when I told her to take the day off.

"Oh? Did she say why?"

"She said she had forgotten to drop off something important. She left it in the top drawer."

I thank Rachel and try not to run to my desk. I don't notice that Pat and TJ are close on my heels.

When I open the drawer, I feel the blood freeze in my veins. I'm staring at the pregnancy test stick and the note. It's the note that has my innards churning.

Lex,

I never meant this to happen. I know you don't want to have anything to do with it, and I want to assure you that you don't have to feel obligated in any way. Don't worry. I'm going to take care of it.

Nic.

I hear a distant thud of a door snapping shut as I collapse into my chair.

Somebody is shaking me by the shoulders. I think I hear my name being called, but it's difficult to tell with all the blood pounding in my ears.

"Lex! What's the matter?"

"Lex, are you alright?"

I feel the Ziplock bag with the note attached to it being snatched from my hands. I want to stop them, but my hands and legs feel heavy.

"Oh God!" I hear TJ whisper. He passes the note and the package to Pat. Some part of my brain registers that Pat looks as shocked as TJ.

TJ spots something in my waste paper basket and bends down to retrieve it. He is holding crumpled up Post-It notes. He smoothens the two scraps of papers and passes them to me.

I swear steadily under my breath when I read them. If there was any doubt about the meaning, it is dispelled when I read the crumpled-up notes.

"What do I do? What does she mean she's going to take care of it? Does it mean she's going to get rid of the baby? Or does it mean she'll care for it without my help?" I finally croak.

"I don't know, man. You know her better than any of us."

"She's always said she doesn't want to be a single mother," I say as the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach intensifies.

Neither TJ nor Pat say anything. They merely exchange worried glances.

"The baby! Our baby!" I say, dropping my face into my hands.

"Are you saying you're going to claim her as your mate?" TJ says.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do! I need to think," I say, pacing the length of my office. "I need to think," I repeat, looking at Pat and TJ meaningfully. They understand what I'm saying and leave me alone.

I quickly make my way to the roof after donning on my Skin, and even though it is broad daylight, I shift, letting the uncomplicated emotions of my dragon take over my mind. My hands and feet are replaced by sharp talons. My body elongates rapidly. Hard, almost translucent silver scales cover my body. Large scaly wings sprout on my back.

My dragon takes a flying leap off the edge of the building and soars up. I would never take such a risk, but I needed to let my dragon out or risk having an apoplexy. To say that the news has come as a shock would be an understatement. After all the care I took not to get too involved with Nic, this is what happens. She says I'm not obligated to her in any way, but how can I not be obligated? She's growing a life inside her that we made together. I am going to be a father!

I fly faster and higher, trying to untangle my emotions. I wonder if Dad was ever as fearful of claiming a mate as I am. When I think about Mom and Dad or any of the guys' parents, I feel hopeful. If they can make it work, perhaps I can make it work as well. Suddenly, losing Nic and the baby forever seems far, far worse than the hypothetical possibility of losing my mind. Besides, I won't let anything happen to Nic. I will keep her safe. Little by little, I find my fear abating. Mom and Dad were right. I have been focusing on the wrong things.

I can't wait a minute longer to find Nic and confess my feelings for her. My dragon does a happy upside-down flip mid-air before we begin our descent.

I am in love with Nic.

She is my soul mate.

I am going to claim her as my soul mate.