12. Lucy

Nathan didn't sigh,but something about his body language conveyed his exasperation anyway. "Mates are rare, but it does happen. I do feel the need to remind you that this isn't a fairytale. I'm not talking about soul mates. This is purely biological."

Another swipe and he showed me a different test. This one looked something like DNA, but not. I leaned forward, not really understanding what I was seeing other than it looked like the two patterns were opposites.

Nathan swiped again and there were three different strands now. When he tapped, colors filled in the blank spots. Red, blue, and purple. Another tap and the black faded away. My body felt numb as I watched those three colors melt together to fill each other's empty spots until there were none left.

"Liam and Cassius's pheromones are shockingly close to a mate match despite the fact that both of them are very dominant alphas, but they still have gaps. They've always known there was something missing and until now, we haven't found any matches that complemented the both of them."

The ringing in my ears was back and I desperately wanted to laugh. The concept of scent matches and mates was pseudo-science at best. Predicting the weather was a little more credible, but barely.

And none of this took into account personalities. As the doc had said, this was purely biological.

"Honestly, I'm more worried about why my heat ended, and then started up again this morning like I hadn't just gone through thirteen days of that shit," I snapped, yanking my hair back so I could tie it up in a ponytail.

It was freezing cold in this stupid medical building but I was sweating like I was nervous or maybe the suppressants were wearing off. It was fucking impossible to tell these days and I hated it.

Nathan stared at me for a moment, trying to decide whether I was messing with him or not. Then he swiped and showed me another graph that displayed three different lines. One was my previous baseline, the other was my heat based on the color, and then today's date was marked on the third line.

It wasn't as high as my heat, but it was well above my baseline and when he tapped the tablet, the graph shifted to show me my pheromones over the last three weeks. The line was trending down, but today's spike was mild compared to the second and third day of my heat.

Based on this information, I was still coming down from my heat which made no fucking sense.

"If we use this to predict your future levels, it could take months for you to acclimate to your new normal. I think it would be best to create a regimen with the new suppressants designed for legacy alphas that we eventually wean you off of. You've been living your whole life with such low-level pheromones that it's bound to feel like you're losing your mind – which doesn't help anyone, but least of all you."

The doctor set the tablet down and folded his hands on top of it like this was all normal and not at all life altering. He didn't seem to be in shock or worried about me either.

I glanced over at Frankie and saw her lips were slightly parted, mouth open in bewilderment as she tried to process.

None of this information told me how different things would be now. At least, not in regard to other alphas, but it was plain as day why Frankie had such a hard time with my pheromones. The last time she'd had her blood taken, she barely registered as a legacy alpha – nowhere near Liam's status.

Even Cassius had stronger pheromones than she did.

It wasn't her fault, just like she'd told me over and over. I was still an omega even if I was defective, but she…

I turned back to the doctor and gritted my teeth, deciding to worry about that later since she seemed to be doing fine as long as I was wearing scent blockers. "So, what happens if I never see Cassius or Liam again?"

The doc grimaced, but he didn't glance up at the camera hidden in the ceiling. I was impressed by his restraint despite everything, but I had to know.

Nathan Humphries was the Valor pack's personal doctor. I didn't think he'd lie to me, but I was pretty sure he wasn't above directing me toward the solution his alpha would want either.

"I can't tell you what might happen as there aren't enough cases like yours to help us understand what your body might be inclined to do." The doc jiggled the mouse on his desk to wake the computer up and kept his eyes on the monitor instead of me. "Your pheromones could go back to their previous state or they could get even more volatile."

"More volatile?" That was really fucking concerning. "I didn't think it was possible for this to get worse."

He sighed and clicked something. "I've been doing research ever since Mr. Valor mentioned you might be a dominant omega. There aren't many recorded cases, and when there are they aren't always labeled as ‘dominant omegas' since most of them never lived long enough to meet their mates."

It didn't seem like he was making this up, but I was starting to feel like I was going to laugh again which told me I was this close to panicking.

"They didn't live long enough?" Frankie's voice was uncharacteristically soft and it was instinct to grab her hand even if I didn't want her to feel just how clammy and gross mine was.

"A lot of them committed suicide. Others were killed for being defective before it became illegal," Nathan admitted quietly, as if he was ashamed he hadn't done anything to help them.

It wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault. People like me flew under the radar all the time.

We may be considered defective omegas, but every doctor I've seen up until now had shrugged and told me there was nothing they could do. Never once had they considered there might be something else going on.

Others like me might have found their mates young, or maybe they found them on accident just like I had and easily accepted that their mate was the one exception without knowing why…but if they had stronger, more traditional omega desires, they'd feel the chasm between us and normal omegas even more than I did.

To want nothing more than to be soft and delicate – to provide an environment where they could care for their alpha and pack, and then be told they would never be enough over and over and over, that they might as well be a zeta…

The only reason I was still alive was because of Frankie. I've always known that, but I hadn't realized just how much of my continued existence was due to her perseverance until this very moment.

I squeezed her hand, and this time it was for me. Tears pricked my eyes and I didn't bother blinking them away.

Even though we've both suffered the consequences of our designations, I knew without a doubt I never would have made it this far without her.

Whether it was my fragile sanity, or the instincts that kept pushing me to find somewhere I belonged, she'd held me together and made me feel like nothing was wrong with me despite the fact that we both knew better.

She's been forced to learn how to be an alpha with a defective omega and did her very best without ever once giving up or complaining.

How lucky was I to have a friend like that?

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and ignored the way my vision became watery.

"During my research, I came across an article in a medical journal written about ten years ago that theorized this condition may be genetic." Nathan turned his monitor around to show us various pie charts and graphs with case studies listed. None of it meant anything to me. "It's based on the same study that's been done on legacy alphas, but it's harder to track due to the lack of visible external traits such as the red eyes or the double knot. It's currently only recognized when the dormant genes have been triggered by the omega's mate or mates. So, it's very difficult to catch it, but if you read through this article, you'll see they've been trying to add it to the genetic testing we do in the first trimester."

"Can you send that to me?" Frankie asked, pulling out her phone to write down the author and article title while I stared at the monitor without really seeing it.

My eyes wouldn't focus on the words or charts and the ringing in my ears was getting louder and louder.

"I'll send over all the research I've found," Nathan agreed. "But since there aren't many recorded cases, I was curious if you had any omegas in your immediate family who wouldn't mind sharing their medical history with me."

There it was. The one thing I didn't want to talk about.

"She's an orphan. Lucy doesn't have any immediate blood family," Frankie told him – the lie so smooth after all these years that every single doctor believed her without question.

Until now.

Nathan looked at me then and I winced, wondering if he'd figured it out somehow. "There are a lot of ancestry tests that can be done now to help you find any possible blood relations. It would really help to see what's worked for them and what hasn't."

Doing an ancestry test would be worse than just telling him the truth. Then there'd be a paper trail leading my father right back to Lucy Parker. I'd changed my name for a reason and I wasn't about to undo all that hard work.

"I'm not interested," I told him, keeping my voice quiet but firm. "My mother was an alpha and my father was an omega. I never had any siblings and my grandparents on either side were alpha-omega pairs."

"Hm…" Nathan whipped the monitor back around and started typing. "Typically the omega carries the child when an alpha and omega conceive, regardless of whether they're male or female, but considering the way legacy alphas evolved…was your mother the one to carry you?"

I raised an eyebrow, not sure why that would translate to birthing a dominant omega when the genetic markers would be completely different the other way around. "No, my omega father was the one who carried me. He was the main caregiver while my mother was always away on business trips. She provided for the family, but that was about it. She never wanted to be vulnerable like that even though my father couldn't conceive anymore and begged her for another child."

Frankie shifted, clearly uncomfortable, but Nathan just nodded like he understood everything I wasn't saying and more.

"Do you have access to any of your father's medical files? As the only living member of your family, you would have rights to them."

"He didn't believe in doctors so my father doesn't have medical records, not even an autopsy report." Not a lie since he wasn't dead and fucking hated doctors.

The twitch in my eye was back and I rubbed at it, ready to get the fuck out of here before I screamed. "What exactly am I supposed to do now? Am I screwed if I decide I don't want anything to do with Cassius or Liam? Is there some sort of deadline I have to decide by or I'll snap and murder everybody because I can't control my instincts?"

The doc did me a solid and didn't stare at me like I was insane and desperately in need of a vacation that involved wearing grippy-socks.

He just gave me a sad smile and went back to typing. "Whether you choose to be with your mates or not is up to you, but I would suggest a suppressant regimen regardless. We can do regular blood draws to monitor the situation. I can't give you a more detailed answer than that considering how little we know."

"Wait," Frankie interjected. "I'm still not understanding how this could all get worse if she doesn't see them."

Nathan picked up his tablet and selected something before turning it around to show us the graph of my pheromones over the last fifteen years. "As you can see here, everything was relatively stable until three weeks ago. This spike is when they first met, and then here we see that her pheromones are finally regulating after her heat by the way it trends down towards a level closer to normal. But if she doesn't want to see them again, the levels might spike even higher than they did during her heat."

The memory of the excruciating pain before Liam finally kissed me was sharp and I winced.

I've never felt anything like that in my life. It was horrific. Like my skin was literally on fire. I've had bone breaks that hurt less than the twisting sensation in my stomach that wouldn't go away until he finally touched me.

"It's a biological reaction," Nathan explained as gently as possible. "I assume it's dependent on each omega with this issue, but logically, the safest way to exist after denying your scent matches would be for your pheromones to go back to dormancy, or to spike hard. Enough for the pheromones to permeate a large area so the right alpha, or alphas, can find you. Our body knows what we need, whether we want it to or not. It's the same idea as craving a food that has the vitamin you're deficient in."

It made sense.

Everything about pheromones had evolved to ensure an omega found the alpha, or alphas, that would protect them and the pack they'd make together. It was the same reason why a bond ensured other alphas didn't react to a bonded omegas pheromones or vice versa.

Purely biological.

"Will Liam and Cassius have any side effects?" Frankie asked.

My entire body jolted with shock. That thought had never occurred to me and I squeezed her hand in thanks as I stared down at Nathan's desk. My eyes burned from the unshed tears but I ignored it as I tried to absorb everything the doctor was saying.

"Alphas always have side effects," he admitted. "Their violence and aggression will amplify exponentially until they bond their omega."

Even more violent than they already were? I chewed on the inside of my cheek until fresh blood filled my mouth, making all this feel a little more real. "Does it have to be me, or could it be any omega?"

"A bond with any omega will ease the symptoms, but it won't be as effective as it would be with you. They might even react poorly to other omega pheromones and try to destroy anyone encroaching on what they perceive to be their omega's safety and happiness. They wouldn't even realize what they're doing until the other omega was dead."

Legacy alphas were already a pain in the ass, but an unbonded one during courtship was notoriously dangerous. It was why so many were pushed to bond young to any omega that fit the bill, but Liam had put it off for much longer than most.

Maybe that was why he was so fucking crazy.

Crazy in lust.

I winced at my stupidity and nodded like I wasn't losing my mind. "I'd like to start the suppressant regimen today. There's no way I can live my life like this – constantly having heat symptoms until I regulate."

Not to mention the slight nausea I felt around Frankie's alpha pheromones. I couldn't imagine how much worse it would be around alphas I didn't trust.

"Lucy…" Frankie didn't argue with me, but she didn't seem convinced either. "Are you sure? We could wait a few days and see what happens."

"Meaning, wait to see if my pheromones go dormant or spike hard enough I might just kill you this time?" I scoffed and shook my head. "We still have a case to solve and we're running out of time."

How much longer before the press found out the Valor pack had hired private detectives? How much longer until the trail was too cold to follow? There were things only I could do, and there was a very high possibility I'd need to work with Liam and Cassius in the same room.

We couldn't afford for me to lose my mind for months. Not when I'd nearly bit my tongue off to keep from begging them to bond me while strapped to a metal chair in a fucking murder basement. We needed to detox, and then maybe…

No, it didn't matter.

I needed to make some progress on this case. If Liam and Cassius were still interested in me after a few days of detoxing, I'd consider my options then.

A killer was out there, laughing as we floundered. I couldn't let them win, not when I had a point to prove.

This would be the real test.

Could I still solve murders as an omega now that my pheromones were no longer dormant?

"Alright, let me explain the potential side effects of taking a suppressant this strong over an extended period of time…" the doctor's voice faded away as I stared down at Frankie's hand in mine.

This was the right choice. I could work with my partner again without hurting her, and I could get some distance from those two. That would give me the time I needed to find out why the fuck they had a murder basement and whether or not it had anything to do with Gideon.