11. Lucy

Sittingin the waiting room of Nathan's office after getting what felt like half the blood in my body drawn, I bounced my leg up and down as I tried to understand what the fuck was going on with me, with Frankie…

With everything.

I didn't understand what was happening to me and I was spiraling all over again.

No matter how much I tried to focus on what was going on around me, I couldn't stop thinking about the way Cassius and Liam had stood at the top of their stoop, watching me with the glowing eyes of a predator – one red and one blue.

They wanted to devour me, but somehow they held back.

They let me go.

Liam Valor was a legacy alpha who saw me as his, and he…let me go. Just stood there as I got in Frankie's car and left with nothing other than the clothes they'd bought for me. Everything else was still at his house.

It was all replaceable I suppose.

I tried to focus on Frankie's voice for the thousandth time, but I just couldn't concentrate. Not even when she took my hand in hers and tried to soothe me like she usually did.

Guilt crashed over me when I remembered how much work she was doing all by herself—how useless I was. Why the fuck couldn't I do anything right?

Chewing on the inside of my cheek helped make my body feel a bit more real instead of nothing more than an anchor all the way at the bottom of the ocean – the pain was the only thing keeping me from crashing into smithereens against the hidden rocks.

Pain always helped ground me, but this time, even the taste of copper felt far away as I remembered how easily my fury had turned into needy desperation when they'd strapped me to that freezing cold chair in a basement that smelled like death, decay, and chemicals.

I glanced over at Frankie, my gaze catching on her bright red lips to see she was still speaking even if I couldn't make any of it out over the ringing in my ears. Then I looked up and studied her blue eyes that were lighter than Cas's. Like the sky in summer. For some reason they unnerved most people but I could never figure out why.

My leg stopped bouncing and I tilted my head, wondering if the blue had always been that light or if it's changed ever so slightly.

I was definitely losing my mind.

Shaking my head, I went back to bouncing my leg as we waited for Nathan to call me into his office.

The sweatpants and hoodie Cas had gotten for me were a little too big, but in the way I preferred. Almost like I'd bought them myself. The sneakers too. They were such a soft pink I almost hoped it didn't rain today so they wouldn't get dirty.

They must have bought these at some point during my heat.

Just thinking about that was making me seriously reconsider if I should keep my distance from them or not. Most alphas didn't go this far for an omega they had no intention of seeing again after their heat.

It was entirely possible they had real feelings for me outside the effect of my pheromones.

Shoving that thought all the way to the back of my head, I studied Frankie again. She was wearing makeup and her scent blockers, but there was a slight hint of her floral tangerines lingering on her clothes.

The smell was familiar and normally I'd find it comforting, but there was something off about it that was putting me on edge. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly it was, but it made me want to bite through my cheek hard enough to make blood gush into my mouth and down my front to stain the pink shoes red.

After all these years of pretending to be normal, I was finally losing my mind. That was the only explanation for the way I felt right now – even after taking one of Cas's suppressants.

All the times I'd convinced myself I could be normal had worked before, but now? Nothing could hold back the ocean of blood anymore.

I've been drowning in red all my life and the stains were finally starting to show.

I wanted to blame Liam and Cas for this, but it wasn't their fault their pheromones had me feral.

I couldn't ignore it anymore.

Their pheromones had triggered my instincts hard and my body was making up for lost time. That had to be it. Nothing else made sense unless they were drugging me to react like this.

Guess we'd find out soon enough.

"We're not making enough progress on this case," Frankie whispered – the sudden drop in volume catching my attention more than if she'd yelled those words at me. "No one has been able to find Gideon's wedding ring, or the murder weapon. The autopsy reports didn't tell us anything we didn't already know and nothing was missing from Gideon's office no matter how many times I've compared the crime scene photos to the professional ones used for marketing."

I should tell her I've seen Liam and Cassius's murder basement – that they had her shitty cousin in there because of what he'd done to me. Not that Frankie would care if he lived or died, but it was vital information that could help her see what I couldn't because I was drowning in blood and oranges.

"If the wedding ring is still missing then it's a trophy," I muttered, chewing on the soft flesh of my cheek as I tried to focus on my partner.

Dropping my gaze to my fingernails, I picked at the cuticles until they bled, using the extra pain to anchor me a bit more so I could be useful instead of the feeble omega I was turning out to be.

"Only a spouse or lover would care about a wedding ring," Frankie agreed. The way she eyed me was uncomfortable, but thankfully she didn't ask how I was doing since it was pretty fucking obvious I was struggling. "Your interview with Melinda was amazing, Lou. I'll never get over how quickly you piss them off."

I laughed but there was no humor in the sound. "Liars don't like to be called out."

But Liam hadn't reacted like a liar when I'd demanded answers. He reacted like someone who had nothing to lose. Which meant he was telling the truth, or at least, a version of the truth he believed wholeheartedly.

"Well, thanks to your interview and notes, I was able to narrow down the potential list of people she could be having an affair with. I've been tailing her over the last few days, but there's nothing out of the ordinary yet."

My phone chimed and I forced myself to pull it out of my pocket to see what it was.

Frankie had sent me a list of single men in the Valor pack who could move around the estate without making anyone think twice, and it took me longer than I cared to admit to see there were only five people on the list, but she'd highlighted the first three.

"The last two are technically single, but they really don't like Melinda so it's not likely she's been sleeping with either of them."

They could be pretending to hate the omega, but it was more likely they just weren't interested in that kind of mess considering they were in charge of maintaining the Valor security system.

I almost dropped my phone when I remembered Liam's explanation for all the cameras he'd placed in every single facet of my life.

Every possible angle.

Rubbing the sudden twitch on my eyelid away, I tried to ignore the warmth spreading through my chest. It was not normal or sane to feel so fucking pleased with his explanation, but it made sense to me. In a way.

Liam Valor had actually admitted that he was so obsessed with me he couldn't go a single second without knowing where I was and if I was okay. He'd made the choice to do that instead of whatever depraved shit he might have done instead. Because I wouldn't like it.

I laughed and rubbed my eye hard enough that stars exploded in the darkness.

As soon as he detoxed from my pheromones, he'd feel differently, but I really, really hoped I was wrong.

"Lucy…do you have any idea who she might be sleeping with?" Frankie leaned closer to me and I instinctively shifted to keep the distance between us. I winced when I saw the hurt in her eyes, but I was still pissed she'd handed me over to another alpha like it had been the easiest thing she'd ever done.

I checked the time and tried not to worry that Nathan was officially three minutes late now. "I don't think it matters."

"Why not?"

"What does Gideon's wedding ring have to do with Melinda's affair? Why would they take that as a trophy when they already have the ultimate trophy? His omega." Unless it was Melinda who arranged for her husband's death after finding out she was pregnant.

"I still don't think we should rule it out based on one tiny piece of evidence," Frankie muttered, rubbing her temples like I was giving her a headache. "There's another list under the one I sent you that contains anyone in the Valor pack who stands to gain from Gideon's death. Under that are those outside the pack who'd also get something out of this mess."

Scrolling down, I nervously licked my lips when I saw Liam's name at the top of the list. Ironically, she hadn't included Cassius in that one, but he was at the bottom of the third list. Her father was at the top.

Then under him were the other two legacy packs in Acheron.

"Why is Francisco on here?" It was shocking enough to pull me out of my insanity spiral to focus.

"There's a piece of land Valor and Lopez are vying for over at the docks. Valor was going to expand into shipping to cut some of their costs, and Francisco has always wanted unrestricted access to a freighter."

For trafficking whatever had caught his fancy no doubt. Sometimes it was art, and sometimes it was experimental drugs. Hard to say what he might be into next.

I chewed on my cheek harder when I remembered how messed up Arturo had looked. Did Francisco know where he was? Did Frankie?

"There's something I have to tell you," I whispered.

Frankie leaned in closer and this time I moved toward her instead of away, pressing our foreheads together just like we'd done a million times before – back when we were teenagers and she'd hide with me under the blankets so we could whisper secrets her pack would never hear.

Secrets only three people in the world knew. Me, her, and Francisco Lopez.

"Frankie, when I was at Bite?—"

"Lucille Parker?"

I grimaced and turned away from her to see the nurse giving me a polite, but empty smile.

"Dr. Humphries is ready to see you now."

Frankie stood when I did and took my hand in hers. It wasn't for me, but her. My best friend was trembling at my side and I pretended like I didn't notice, letting her pull me toward the nurse to make it look like she was in control – not me.

To the outside world, Frankie was the alpha and no one could ever see her as anything else or she'd be even worse off than me.

I squeezed her hand in reassurance and followed behind her, glad the ringing in my ears was finally gone.

The mystery of who had a more compelling motive to kill Gideon had done exactly what I'd needed it to. Once again the ocean of blood was held back by a fresh layer of steel until the next time it cracked.

Frankie might have abandoned me, but she knew how to overcome my insanity better than anyone.

Liam though…Liam kept pounding against the steel in my mind with manic glee, almost like he wanted to drown in all that blood right along with me and I had no fucking idea why anyone would want that.

Cassius…he had his own river of blood, but he wanted to redirect that river into my ocean until it all became one big mess. Even if it didn't make any sense, I understood that he saw something in me he recognized.

Something he wanted.

Both of them were dangerous, but ironically, not because of the basement full of bodies.

They were dangerous because they made me want to rip off all my masks and stop pretending. They knew I wasn't okay, and didn't care.

A legacy alpha had let me go. Cassius had let me put a knife to his throat and smiled.

They made me want to say fuck it and swan dive right off the cliff just to see if I could breathe underwater.

* * *

The doctor didn't seem surprised to see Frankie with me, but he did swallow like he was nervous. His gaze flicked to one of the corners of the ceiling as he sat down, making my entire body stiffen as I realized Cassius and Liam were probably watching us right now and Nathan knew it.

Even Frankie noticed.

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't follow the doctor's gaze either. We both kept our eyes on Nathan as we waited for him to explain what the fuck was going on with me and why.

"As you're probably aware, Mr. Valentine and Mr. Valor have been collecting blood samples at various intervals during your heat as I requested." The doc cleared his throat and tapped his tablet like he was nervous I might yell at him for that.

Seeing their basement told me they were no strangers to things like needles so I wasn't mad, but I wasn't quite sure how any of this was legal.

"Your partner signed the proper forms since you were…indisposed," Nathan admitted, flipping the tablet around to show me Frankie's signature on the consent forms. "Mr. Valentine is a certified paramedic, so he's more than qualified in case you had any concerns."

I nodded, feeling dazed. I didn't remember seeing anything about Cassius being a paramedic, but I also didn't think Nathan would lie to me.

What I was actually stuck on was the consent forms Frankie had signed.

Sure, we'd done the legal paperwork required so we had all the rights of a married couple without the actual certificate, but I hadn't anticipated she'd ever need to use the power of attorney like this. Though, I suppose I should have considering everything that was going on.

I glanced over at her and hid my wince.

Frankie was doing a good job of hiding it, but the deep circles under her eyes told me she'd barely slept and her skin was dry. My partner was worried and she'd done everything she could to keep herself busy while waiting out my heat.

Guilt washed over me again and Liam's doctor seemed relieved by my lack of a reaction. He swiped and another document popped up, but I couldn't focus on it.

I had to tell Frankie about what I'd found – about how I kept reacting to these alphas like a bitch in heat even knowing that they had Arturo in a cold locker right next to me…

Was he even alive?

I should probably care about something like that, but I just couldn't be bothered.

Nathan's voice sliced through my thoughts with the precision of a scalpel and what he said was so ludicrous I stared at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

"Your case is very rare, but it's not unprecedented," the doctor tried to assure me as he used his stylus to point to a bar graph. "I've put your baseline against each test we've done over the last three weeks to show you the difference."

I couldn't look away from his face. The graph I could study later, but if I looked away now I might miss the lie – the tell that would reassure me this was all a big, fat joke.

"I don't have a baseline for the day before you met Mr. Valor, but I used your blood tests from your previous doctors to get an average. This is the first day you came into contact with him. And here we have the incident at Bite. Then the following day."

None of this was what he'd said before though and I bit the inside of my cheek until fresh blood coated my tongue, waiting for him to get to the point.

"Up until the day you met Liam Valor and Cassius Valentine, your pheromones were in stasis. Once your biology found a suitable mate, your pheromones went into overdrive. I have no explanation as to why your heat lasted as long as it did other than you've had so few since you first perfumed as an omega. Your body could be trying to make up for lost time, or attempting to secure your mate by making your pheromones and body as attractive as possible."

That's what I'd heard the first fucking time too.

Frankie sounded just as skeptical as I felt when she asked, "I'm sorry, but did you say mate?"