Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

RIPLEY

I t's finally Monday. I don't know why I'm nervous. Perhaps it's because Quincy and I have never been on a date before. All those years, and never once have we done something as simple and ordinary as going out for dinner, just the two of us.

I'm putting the final touches on my makeup when the doorbell rings. That's odd. Quincy has a gate at the end of the long driveway. We always know if someone is coming, and no one called up to the house. It must be someone with the code.

I run down to open the door and see Quincy standing there in jeans, a white T-shirt, and a dark blazer, holding two bouquets of red roses. Fuck, he's hot.

"Good evening, Ms. St. James. I'm here for our date." He hands me one of the bouquets. "These are for you because…I'm a gentleman."

I can't help but smile as I take them. "Thank you. They're beautiful." I inhale the fragrant scent before nodding toward the other bouquet. "Do you have another date later, gentleman ?"

He shakes his head. "Nope. I'm a one-woman kind of man. I prefer redheaded pitchers. It's my understanding that you have a beautiful daughter who might feel jealous of her mom getting flowers and not her. I didn't want her to feel left out."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled given that she's not even three months old."

"Nonetheless, I hear she's a stunner like her mom."

My mom appears out of nowhere and grabs the flowers. "I'll take care of these. You two kids have fun. Stay out as late as you want. Kaya and I have our own date tonight." She smiles down at my baby sleeping in her arms. "Don't we, baby girl?"

Mom practically shoves me out the door. Quincy chuckles as he takes my hand, another thing he's rarely done.

After opening the car door for me, we're on our way. I turn to him. "You pitched well this past week considering you haven't thrown in a while."

He didn't pitch many innings. He has to build back his stamina after not pitching much for the past few months.

He shrugs. "Three innings is a good start. My curve isn't moving as much as it normally does, but that's to be expected."

"Your stride isn't as long. Work on that. It will help with the spin."

He smiles.

I look at him. "What?"

"I forgot how fun it is that you know the game so well. You're exactly right. That's what our pitching coach said to me. How's it going for you? It must be nice to be throwing again."

"My stomach was cut in half. I feel weak and my speed is down, but the muscle memory is still there. It's nice working with my mom again. Despite some of her…shenanigans when I was a kid, she's always been a great coach. "

"She's a great mom too. She just took a leave from her teaching job and moved across the country to help us. That's very special."

"I know. You're right. Did I tell you that she finally told me a little bit about my dad?"

He shakes his head. "No. What did you learn?"

"It wasn't what I thought. He wasn't just a nameless, faceless man in her sea of many. She loved him. He died before I was born, but they were in love. It made me happy to hear that."

He squeezes my hand. "That's amazing."

I nod. "I know. And he had two other kids. I have a brother and sister."

He blows out a breath. "Wow. Have you met them?"

I shake my head. "No. They reached out to my mom about meeting me. I wasn't in the right headspace at the time." I quietly add, "With you and the baby."

He squeezes my hand again. "I'm sorry for how I reacted when I found out you were pregnant. I think I was in shock."

"I don't understand what's changed for you. You're a different person from the Quincy I've known."

"We'll talk inside. We're just about there."

We pull onto a small, one-way city street. I see a restaurant that clearly serves pizza. "Is this the place you told me about?"

He has a huge smile on his handsome face. "Yep. You have to reserve your dough in advance. It's the best pizza I've ever had, and you know that means a lot coming from me. I can't wait for you to taste it."

We walk in, and the owners seem to know him. A few patrons ask for photos and autographs, per normal when Quincy goes anywhere in public. Two or three even recognize me and ask for the same. While we're always happy to indulge fans, some of them are simply taking pictures of Quincy and me without our permission as we walk through the restaurant hand in hand. He doesn't seem bothered by it.

I whisper, "I think people are photographing us."

He shrugs. "Who cares? Let them take their pictures and post them. I have nothing to hide."

I swallow down my emotions. He has no idea how much that means to me.

We're shown to a booth big enough for four people, but Quincy sits on the same side as me and pulls me close. I'm confused by this shift in him. Loving, sweet, affectionate Quincy is new to me.

The waitress, in a thick Philly accent, asks us what we want, the only options being pizza or pizza. I leave it to Quincy to pick our toppings.

He pours our wine and holds up his glass. "I know we've taken a weird road, but we've managed to create the most perfect baby girl. Well, you did almost all the work, so thank you for taking such good care of her. She's changed my life for the better. You both have."

Tears fill my eyes as I clink my glass with his. "Quincy, you're not supposed to make your dates cry, at least not at the beginning of the date."

He smiles. "You know I'm new at this. I'll do my best to only make you cry at the end of the night."

I giggle. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

After a few sips of wine, I ask what I've been dying to ask since Arizona told me about Quincy's disappearing act. "Tell me where you went after Thanksgiving. Tell me what's gone on for you to change your tune about me. About us. I need to understand it."

He briefly brings his lips together in a thin line as if it's hard for him to talk about. "I finally had it out with my father after you left on Thanksgiving."

"I think it was long overdue."

He nods as he lets out a long breath. "I should probably go back to the beginning. As you know, I spent my whole life drilling into my head that I didn't want a family, but even before you told me about the pregnancy, I was starting to question things. You know full well I simply couldn't let you go."

"I suppose."

"Are you sure you're ready for this? I'm about to lay a lot on you, but I want total transparency. It's part of my healing, and I think it's what you and I need. It's heavy, and it took me a long time to come to terms with it all myself."

I nod. "Tell me. I want to understand what's going on in your head."

"Since the minute I saw you up on that ladder when you were sixteen, something shifted in me. And then when you fully gave yourself to me two years later, there was never a chance of going back. Any women I've been with since were faceless and nameless. A poor substitute for the woman I couldn't get out of my mind. And then this marriage with benefits thing fell in my lap. It was the perfect solution. We could be together but not in a way that frightened me. It was a good few years. A great few years. And then you told me you loved me. I've spent a lot of time thinking about my behavior. I realized that I freaked out because I felt it too but never wanted to let myself go there. I was immature and mistreated you, and I'll forever be regretful about that."

Tears fall freely from my eyes. I whisper, "Quincy." Him admitting all this to me is a big deal.

He takes my hands in his. "Let me continue. "

I nod for him to do so. I'm so choked up with emotion, I don't think I could speak if I wanted to.

"I moved to Philly thinking the distance would help rid me of the feelings I had for you. It didn't. And then, a few months later, you were back in my life, in my bed. I realized I couldn't exist without you. I was honestly thinking about taking a small step in that direction, talking to you about giving us a chance at real dating, but then the baby thing happened, and I was spooked. I'd rather not be a father than be a bad one. After Thanksgiving, my father and I spent a few weeks alone together. I still can't get over him taking a few weeks off work for me. We had our come-to-Jesus moment. We yelled and screamed. We got it all off our chests. I told him everything I'd bottled up for thirty-three years. It felt good. Great. He helped me understand why he is the way he is. I assumed it was because he didn't care—"

"He cares."

"I know that now. Though misguided, he wanted to give us the stable life he never had and sorely craved growing up. And then…and then…I went to rehab."

My eyes widen in shock. I don't even try to hide it.

"Rehab? For what?"

"I'm not sure rehab is the right term. More of a therapeutic retreat program. I was depressed. There's no other way to see it. You're the only person who knows this. I told Arizona I was traveling the world to get my head together. I don't owe anyone but you an explanation. I did it for you and me, no one else."

He rubs my face. "I want to be a better man. The kind who deserves a woman like you. The kind who can find a way to be a good father despite spending a lifetime insisting I'd never be one. It was time for me to seek professional counseling to help me copewith some of the issues I've been struggling with for so long. "

He runs his hands through his hair in typical Quincy-like fashion before he takes my hands in his again. "I want to be honest with you but don't want to freak you out."

"You can say anything to me."

He nods. "My counselor helped me realize that I've been in love with you for thirteen years but was too chicken shit to act on it. That I never let myself be truly happy, so I never let myself go there mentally. My heart was feeling one thing, and I was too fucked up to accept what was right in front of me all along."

"Why didn't you come to me after that?"

"My retreat finished the day before I was scheduled to be in Clearwater. Honestly, I still wasn't sure what I was going to be capable of. I thought I had a few more months before I needed to do anything. The team had a West Coast road trip scheduled for the beginning of the season. My plan was to talk to you then. I had no way of knowing you'd go into labor two months early. But when you did, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything my therapist said to me came into color. The feelings inside me suddenly became clear. I want to be happy. You make me happy. I'm in love with you. I can't and won't do life without you and our baby girl."

Tears now fall from his eyes. "I thought I had lost you, and if I did, I don't think I could have kept on going. I had already assumed the baby was gone, and of course I felt sad and guilty, but I hadn't met her yet. It was different. Thinking you were gone too was soul crushing, Shortcake. It changed everything for me in the blink of an eye. I—"

Not able to take another minute without it, I crash my mouth onto his. His soft lips immediately embrace mine. Our tongues taste each other for the first time in what feels like forever. His longer beard is rubbing my face in the best way possible .

His hands squeeze my hips and mine grip his shirt. I think I see a few flashes go off, but if he doesn't care, neither do I. There never has been and never will be a time in my life when I don't love this man. My imperfectly perfect man.

The waitress popping her gum causes us to break apart. "Yous lovebirds ready fa some pizza?"

Our lips are no longer together, but our faces are still close. Quincy wordlessly nods and she leaves the pizzas at our table. We simply stare at each other.

He whispers, "Are we going to be okay? You and me?"

I whisper back, "I don't know. I hope so."

I'm finally realizing it was never about me. All this time, I thought he had some amount of shame about being with me, but that's not what it was. It's always been about him and his personal struggles. I want to believe everything he's saying to me right now, but there's still a small part of me that can't go all in.

I run my fingers through his sexy beard. "Thank you for sharing with me. I know it's not easy for you. Let's put the heavy stuff aside for now." I grab a slice. "I need to try the pizza that has pizza snob Quincy Abbott so enamored."

He smiles as he reaches for his own slice, and we both take our first bites.

We talk and laugh throughout dinner. It's just like our pillow talk in Houston. As much as I missed my lover Quincy, I've missed my friend Quincy just as much. And he was right. This is the best pizza I've ever had in my life.

When we get back to the house, he stops us at the front door. "Can I have a kiss goodnight?"

I smile. "A goodnight kiss? You know you're going to end up sneaking into my bed."

He feigns shock. "I'm merely watching over you and our daughter. "

I shake my head. "Just remember, I don't put out on the first date."

Taking me into his arms, he breathes, "I don't want to mess things up this time. I want to take it slow on the physical too. We already know we're compatible, more than compatible, on that front. You need to know how serious I am about this. I want to date you. I want to court you."

"Court me? What century are we in?" Insecurity starts to creep in. "You don't want me?"

He takes my hand and rubs it over his severely hardened denim-covered dick. "Trust me, Shortcake, I want you. That will never be an issue. Our relationship beforehand was purely physical. Now I need more than that with you. I want to give you everything you deserve."

"I guess you'll be sleeping in your bed for the first time ever tonight?" I joke. He hasn't spent a full night in his bed since we've been here.

"I didn't say that. It doesn't mean I can't hold you. I sneak in not so you'll dry hump my leg, but because I'm happier when you're in my arms. I'm happier when I can breathe you in all night. I'm committed to my happiness. Our happiness."

My mouth drops a bit at the stranger before me. "You went from a cold, grumpy, never expressing a feeling asshole to a smooth, swoony, mushy teddy bear."

He chuckles. "I have an example to set for my daughter. I read that women model appropriate behavior for all men in their lives from their fathers. I'm going to treat you the way I will one day want a man to treat her. Like a princess."

"You read all this?"

He nods. "Yes, when I was alone in my room at night during the retreat, I read all kinds of parenting books. For both boys and girls since I didn't know what we were having, but I always suspected it was a girl. That's what I was hoping for. "

I lean into him. "I think I'll take my kiss now."

He smirks as his lips meet mine for a disappointingly short, sweet kiss.

When we walk inside the house, it's shockingly quiet. I scoff. "Of course she slept while we were gone. She'll be wide awake crying all night."

He smiles. "Don't speak unkindly of my little princess."

"My mom must have gone to bed. I'm going to grab the baby monitor from her room, so Kaya doesn't wake her up during the night."

I make my way up the giant staircase. Assuming my mother is asleep, I quietly open her bedroom door…to her naked body riding an equally naked man like she's a rodeo queen.

His hands are on her boobs, and she's moaning something unintelligible. Looking closely, I realize it's Dutton Steel. I'm not sure if I'm more shocked to walk in on my mother having sex, which was not a rare occurrence when I was growing up, or the fact that she's sleeping with the same man for the second time, something I've never once seen.

I gasp and they both turn their heads and slow their actions. I cover my mouth. "I…I…oh my god!"

Quincy must hear my words of shock and runs to the room likely thinking something is wrong. Unlike me, he just barges in and stops short at the scene before him. He belts out, "Holy fuck!" before quickly turning around and speed walking out of the room.

I'm frozen for a moment until I tiptoe, as if my presence isn't known, to her night table. I grab the monitor. Like an idiot, I decide it's a good time to explain my obvious actions, "I just came for the monitor. I didn't want her to wake you during the night."

Mom shamelessly smiles at my clear discomfort. "Goodbye, Ripley. I'm a little busy right now. Can we chat more about this later?"

I'm temporarily frozen in place again. "Oh…umm…yes. Later. We'll talk later. Bye."

Still with a big smile, likely at my severe embarrassment, Mom waves goodbye.

I sprint out the door and make my way to the other end of the hallway where Quincy is waiting. As soon as we see each other, we start laughing hysterically. I shrug. "At least someone in this house is getting laid."

He shakes his head. "I can never unsee that. It's permanently imprinted in my brain."

"I wish I could tell you it's the first time that's happened to me. It's not. It happened dozens of times when I was a teen. Though never with the same guy twice. I wonder if she really likes him."

"Wouldn't that be something? Dutton mentioned to me a few months ago that he had interest in a woman for the first time since his wife. I wonder if he was referencing your mom."

I smile at that possibility.

Kaya barely slept last night, wailing through most of it. Quincy and I are finally sleeping in the early morning hours when my phone starts ringing. I can't move. Quincy's big body is wrapped around mine like a glove.

I mumble, "Quincy. Phone."

He mumbles back, "Tell them to go away. So fucking tired."

"Let me get it before it wakes the monster."

"I'm too exhausted to chastise you for calling our daughter a monster."

"Can we agree to calling her the Exorcist baby?"

I feel him smile into my neck. "Yes. It's better than the word monster, and, after the excessive middle of the night vomiting, it makes perfect sense."

He releases me enough for me to reach for my phone. It's Arizona. I accept without realizing it's a FaceTime call.

I immediately see her smiling face. "Is that my brother who you're wearing like a second skin?" She sarcastically adds, "Shocking that he's topless."

I whisper, "Shh. The Exorcist baby is sleeping. And no, it's Chris Hemsworth. I bumped into him last night and ditched your brother. You know I'm a sucker for the superhero Thor, though not quite as much as you are for Captain America."

Quincy's eyes narrow "I'm hotter than Thor."

"Blanche's dog, Thor? Definitely. The superhero?" I shrug. "Hmm, I'm not sure."

I giggle while he tickles my side and mumbles, "Very funny."

I roll my eyes at the obvious resemblance. "You look like him. Why do you think I have a thing for Thor in the first place?"

Arizona gasps. "That's why? Ugh. I'll never look at Chris Hemsworth the same again. He's forever tainted."

"Big, muscular, sexy man. Longer blond hair. Blue eyes. You seriously never added two and two together to get four? It's no wonder I had to do your math homework all the time."

"Listen, fucker, do you want to know why I called so early in the morning?"

I'm giggling again. I think I'm so tired that I'm losing my mind.

"Is it morning? The spawn of Satan had us up all night."

"It's early, but it's morning. Anyway, pictures of you two out last night are all over the internet. There's even a video of you kissing. I guess it went well."

I whisper, "Your brother wouldn't put out, but it was fine."

He tickles me again. "You're not funny, Shortcake."

I still get chills that he's now calling me that in front of other people.

I turn back to the phone. "I suppose I'm not surprised. We saw people pointing their phones at us."

She nods. "The headlines are kind of cute. Most are something like Pitch Perfect or Mound of Love . They mention a budding relationship between the two best pitchers in town."

I twist my lips. "At least it's not Beauty and the Beast ."

Arizona nods. "It wouldn't surprise me if they called Q a beast. He's looking like one these days with his animalistic face."

"I meant me."

"I know what you meant, and you're nuts. Every man on the planet has a thing for hot redheads. They all want to know if the carpet matches the drapes. I'm giving an interview later where I'm going to confirm that they do for you."

Arizona and I both start laughing. Quincy opens one eye. "Why are you looking at my wife's carpet?"

I elbow him. "Ex-wife. And she's seen me naked as much as you have."

"I certainly hope not in the same way I have."

Arizona smiles. "As entertaining as your weird foreplay is, I'm going to go wake my husband up by polishing his helmet." She suggestively licks her lips.

Quincy scrunches his face. "Ugh. TMI."

Arizona giggles as she ends the call. As soon as she does, Quincy gets out of bed and pulls me with him. I whine, "What are you doing? "

He's got a firm hold on my arm as he growls, "Come with me."

We walk into the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror, him behind me, his front to my back.

"Look at yourself. What do you see?"

"A woman who didn't sleep last night." I've got bags under my eyes and my curly hair is extra unruly this morning. I didn't fully remove my makeup, so I've got the whole raccoon thing working for me too.

"Wrong. Try again."

"Quincy, we've already played this little game. Several years ago."

"Apparently you didn't learn last time. Let's play again. What do you see?"

"A woman who needs to lose baby weight plus another forty pounds."

He makes a buzzer noise. "Ehhh. Wrong. You're going to learn just how sexy and beautiful you are."

He once again rips my T-shirt straight down the middle, leaving me in my panties.

"Stop ripping my shirts." I try to reach for something to cover me, but he pins my wrists behind my back with one of his giant hands. I'm completely exposed.

With his other hand, he grabs my chin to make sure I'm looking into the mirror. "This is the most beautiful face in the world. I see it in every single fantasy I have." He thrusts his hard dick into my behind. "It causes me to wake up with this every morning of my life because I dream of being back inside you. Every. Damn. Morning. The simple thought of your wet pussy sliding over me drives my dick crazy."

He drops his fingers down from my chin and cups one of my breasts. "These cause him to leak. They're so soft and full, with perfect nipples I miss sucking." He pinches my nipple .

As if on cue, those nipples immediately harden at his touch and his words.

His hand moves over my flabby stomach. I cringe.

"You housed our angel daughter here. You took care of her when I was nowhere to be found."

I mumble, "She's no angel."

He chuckles. "You're both my angels."

His hands move down to my thighs. "And these—"

"What could you possibly have to say that's positive about my thighs?"

"They represent strength. These are the reason you're the best pitcher in the world. The reason your teams win championships over and over again. The reason you and Arizona will eventually be Olympic champions. These will one day be gold medal-winning thighs, and I love nothing more than grabbing onto them while I pound deep inside your body. One day in the future, I'm going to fuck you while you wear nothing but that gold medal."

He turns me around and pushes me until I'm sitting on the vanity, positioning himself between my legs.

Our bare chests meet and his dick presses against my center. They're separated only by the thin layers of my panties and his boxers. I can feel every hard inch of him.

He leans over and whispers in my ear. "There's a reason you're the only woman who has ever truly done it for me." He pushes his dick hard to my center. "I never want to hear you doubt it again. Are we clear?"

I'm so turned on right now that I can only nod. I don't have to look down to know that my body is flushing at his words and actions.

He kisses down my neck, knowing what I'm thinking. "Not yet, but soon." He then kisses my forehead and walks out of the bathroom, leaving me a wet, panting, exposed mess.