Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

QUINCY

I 'm awakened in the middle of the night to Ripley rubbing herself against me. Hells yes. Finally we're getting somewhere.

I look down and her eyes are closed. She's not totally with it. I think she's asleep. Should I wake her?

She's really going to town on my leg. I flex and move it a little to try to give her what she needs. Her hands move across my bare chest, and she mumbles, "Quincy."

At least I know she's thinking of me while she's doing this in her sleep.

Kaya fell asleep on my chest again. Ripley was already sleeping, so I placed Kaya in the bassinet. I should have gone back to my room, but I didn't want to. I slid into bed with Ripley, as I've done most nights since we got back, needing to hold her. And now, in her sleep, she's humping my leg.

Even through her shorts, her heat and wetness coat my bare thigh. I feel slightly guilty knowing she's not conscious right now, but I didn't start this, she did. I'm an innocent bystander.

Her hips gyrate, and she mumbles my name over and over until she starts moaning and shaking. Even in her sleep, her neck flushes when she comes. So sexy.

Her eyes eventually blink open and then widen. She looks down, noticing her legs wrapped around my thigh. A bit out of breath, she asks, "What just happened?"

I bite back my smile as best as I can. "I'm pretty sure you had a wet dream…and used me." I can't stop my smile from breaking free. "I feel dirty."

She blows out a breath. "Shit. I had them constantly when I was pregnant. Something about the extra blood flow to the area. But I haven't had any since I gave birth."

"Fuck, I didn't know that about pregnancy. That's so hot. I haven't had a wet dream in nearly twenty years. You're so lucky."

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, I got to carry a baby, ruin my body, go through labor, be sliced in half, and nearly die, but hey, I got a few wet dreams out of it, so it's worthwhile."

I chuckle. "Point taken."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I've obviously been sleeping alone throughout the pregnancy."

I'm not sure that was obvious, but I'm happy to hear it.

She starts to pull away, but I hold her to me, desperate for contact. "Don't go yet."

She makes no attempt to move but breathes, "Quincy, we can't. "

I rub my hand up her thigh and feel goosebumps spread across her skin. I still affect her.

I run my lips over her cheeks. "Why can't we? It's obvious we're meant to be together."

"I've told you why."

I sigh as I pull my head back a bit. "I've been thinking. We've gone about this the wrong way. We've done everything in the wrong order, putting the cart before the horse. We've never been on a proper date. Let's start from the beginning. I want to take you out on a date."

I see a small smile form on her lips. "Are you asking me out?"

I emphatically nod. "Yes, I am."

"We're divorced with a child."

I rub her arm. "We can start over. No one writes our script but us. I refuse to believe it's too late for our happily ever after. I want to go on a date with you. Our first date. I want to pick you up and take you out to dinner."

In an accusatory tone, she asks, "In public? Somewhere people will see us?"

We've never once done that before. Have I mentioned that I'm a dick?

"Of course. We have night games all week and then a short road trip. I have a day off when we get back. Ripley St. James, will you go out with me next Monday night?"

She chews on her lower lip for a while. A long while. She looks up at the ceiling. "God help me. I'm a glutton for punishment." Turning her eyes back toward mine, she nonchalantly says, "Fine, I'll go. Just so you know, I don't put out on the first date."

I rub my fingertips over her neck in the way I know drives her mad. Her eyes flutter and her whole body trembles. She loves my hands on her neck.

I stare deeply into her eyes. "I've gone over six months without sex. I'll wait as long as it takes. Forever if it means having you one more time."

She pinches her eyebrows together. "What do you mean you haven't had sex in over six months?"

"Ripley, you're not hearing me. You're not listening to what I've been saying to you for the past several weeks. I love you. I only want you. Since the moment you moved to Philly nearly a year ago, I haven't looked at or touched another woman."

I see the shock on her face as that sinks in. For a moment I'm annoyed, but then I realize that I brought this on myself. She has no reason to suspect I'd be loyal to her. Once again, I'm a dick.

She keeps it playful though. "No woman likes a guy who tells her he loves her on the first date. That's clingy and creepy. I don't know if I want to go out with a guy like that."

I smirk. "We're not on the date yet. I promise not to say it on Monday. I'll be a perfect gentleman."

She lets out a laugh. "You're a lot of things, Quincy Abbott, but a gentleman isn't one of them."

That hurts. I'm going to show her exactly how gentlemanly I can be. "Is it yes or no?"

She nods. "Okay, I'll go out with you. Mostly for amusement. I just need to check with my mom about staying with Kaya. You better be a gentleman."

"Me? You just dry-humped my leg…for the third time in our lives. You really like my leg. You better keep your hands off me this Monday. I don't put out on the first date either."

She giggles. "Have you ever been on a first date?"

"Hmm." I suppose I haven't. "No."

"You're thirty-four. Why not?"

I twirl her hair on my finger. "I was waiting for the right woman to come along."

Her face turns serious as she whispers, "I've been here the whole time."

I whisper back, "I was too fucked up to see it."

"You're not anymore?"

I shake my head. "No. I finally know what I want."

"What's that?"

"You."

RIPLEY

We've settled into a bit of a groove over the past week. Quincy spends time with Kaya all morning while I work out with a trainer, attempting to get myself back into game shape. His home gym is as nice as our stadium gym.

I'm already on my second trainer though. The first guy was young and attractive. Quincy walked into the gym while the trainer's hands were on my hips. He immediately kicked him out and hired a woman to work with me. Her name is Sophia, and she's been kicking my ass every day. She'll have me ready to go in no time.

After we all have lunch together, Quincy heads to the ballpark, and Kaya goes down for a nap. Mom and I go to the tunnel Quincy had built so I can practice my pitching. Arizona has been catching for me so my mom can focus on my mechanics. It's been nice working with Mom again. We haven't done this in years. To this day, I've never had a better pitching coach than her. I wonder if the Anacondas would consider hiring her. I wonder if she would ever consider living here.

We watch the Cougars games on television at night. I haven't brought Kaya to a game yet. We'll wait another month or so for that. Even though she's healthy, we still want to be cautious about her being out in public.

When Quincy gets home, whether Kaya's awake or not, he usually wakes her, feeds her, and dances with her. No matter where he starts the night, I always wake up with him in my bed. Each night, we get a little more handsy.

Quincy is now on his road trip. He constantly FaceTimes me so he can see Kaya. I think he's already struggling being away from her. From us .

I'm finishing up pitching for the day. Mom heads upstairs for a shower, leaving Arizona and me alone.

I'm feeding Kaya, looking into her gorgeous little face.

Arizona practically melts at us. "You're such a natural with her."

"You should see your brother with her. He's totally smitten. Can't get enough of this little one. When he dances with her every night, I just about lose it. It's so sweet."

"How are things with you two?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure. He's been a hundred percent devoted to us. He does and says all the right things, but, honestly, I'm still on guard with him."

She nods. "That makes sense."

"He asked me out on a date for when he gets back into town."

She gives me a huge smile. "That's great. Where are you going?"

"I don't know anything. He said I can be casual." I blow out a breath. "I'm so confused about him. He's completely different than he was during our entire pseudo-relationship. He's very…outwardly into me. He was never like that. It was purely booty calls."

"You would just have sex and leave?"

"No, not quite. Remember, we were always friends. We'd have sex, and then we'd talk and laugh for hours until we fell asleep. And then usually have sex again in the morning before heading out on our respective ways."

She raises an eyebrow. "You were basically in a relationship."

I shake my head. "No, we weren't. We never once went out for a meal. We never told another soul. Everything was behind closed doors. And now he throws around the L-word like it's no big deal. We called things off in Houston because I told him I loved him in the heat of passion one morning. Actually, it was the morning you called to tell us you were engaged to Marc."

She thinks for a moment. "I called him, and then I called you. You were together?"

I smile. "Each of us heard both conversations. You should have seen Quincy's face when you started telling me about how Marc proposed while you were fucking. It was priceless."

She lets out a laugh. "That's hysterical." Her face softens. "What exactly happened between you two?"

"After years of our booty calls, I was caught up in a passionate moment and blurted out that I was in love with him. He completely lost his shit, so I kicked him out, for good. I was so far gone for him at that point, but when he rejected me, it was the end of my rope. I couldn't continue to pretend we were nothing but physical. It was time for me to protect my heart and try to move on. I didn't see him for months after that day, not until your wedding stuff."

"Oh, Rip. I'm so sorry. I wish I had known. I wish I could have been there for you."

"I know. The whole situation was messed up. At times, he acted like he cared about me, and then we would equally have times when I wasn't sure he gave me a second thought. And now he casually tells me he loves me every single day. He's given me whiplash for years. I'm afraid this is one turn of the head, and the other turn will come when he freaks out like he did that day."

She gives me a compassionate look. "I can't give you answers or guarantees. I can only tell you that my brother has grown up a lot in the past few months. I don't know what he did when he was missing for all that time, but whatever it was gave him some inner peace and direction as to what he wants in life. Has he mentioned where he went to you?"

"No. He pushes his way into my bed every night, but most of our conversations are about Kaya. We haven't gotten deep yet. I'm not sure I can. I've always had this need to help him, but I'm done with that. I need to help myself."

"Do you want to be with him, Rip? I know what he's put you through, and he's an asshole for it, but in the end, do you want him?"

I blow out a long breath. "That's a loaded question. I won't lie to you and tell you that it wasn't always my dream. It was. But I can't let him hurt me again. Ever. He has to earn my trust. He needs to open up to me. One misstep, and I'm out the door."

"My fingers are crossed that he behaves. It's so weird that only a few months ago I had no idea about you two, and now I want it to work more than anything."

I sigh. "We'll see. Enough about my drama. How are things with your husband ? I can't believe you're married."

She leans back on the sofa with a dreamy look on her face. "Honestly? I feel like I'm living in a fantasy."

"You are. He dresses as Captain America and fucks you senseless." Arizona has a thing for Captain America. Layton indulges her and dresses up like him sometimes in the bedroom.

She giggles. "He does that too, but it's so much more. I feel so utterly loved by him. He never leaves room for any doubts. I love how happy he always is to simply see me."

"Is it so wrong that I want the same? That I won't settle for less than that?"

She shakes her head. "You deserve nothing less."

Later that night, I'm holding Kaya while watching Quincy's game. He's pitching tonight. His stride is a little off. His curveball usually has much more movement. He must be a little rusty. I love watching him play though. I always have.

Mom walks downstairs in a dress with a full face of makeup and perfect hair. "Wow, Mom, you look great."

"Thanks. I have a date."

"Who with?"

"Some guy I met at the grocery store this week. He was sweet. I figured I'd have dinner with him and see where it goes." She glances at the television. "I was watching upstairs. His curve isn't moving as much as it normally does. I think he needs to stride more."

"I agree." Kaya fusses a bit, so I switch positions. Nothing seems to keep her satisfied for long tonight. "I don't know how you did it alone, Mom. I have you, Quincy, Arizona, and basically bottomless resources, and it's still hard. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to have a newborn all alone with limited money."

She gives me a small smile. "It wasn't easy. I hope you realize how fortunate you are to have Quincy. I know you two have things to work through, but he does love you, Ripley. I was certainly skeptical at first, but he's made his intentions clear. He's truly stepped up since she was born."

"I know but it's complicated."

"It's not. You love each other. You have some baggage, as does every relationship, but the feelings are real. Besides, a man who walks around shirtless all the time and looks as good as he does while doing so isn't easy to find. I think he's trying to entice you , but it's working on me ."

I giggle. "He's always done that. I think he has a higher-than-normal body temperature."

"In all seriousness, the feelings between you two are very real. Don't lose sight of that trying to stand on principle. Love is love. Did you know that he called me every single day from Thanksgiving until the day you gave birth just to check on you?"

I sit up. "What? You never told me that."

"He asked me not to. And frankly, I wasn't a fan of his at the time. But you and Kaya were never far from his thoughts. I've had a broken heart for nearly thirty years. It's no fun and it's very lonely. You can make him work for it, but at some point, accept his love. I know you love him. You always have."

"Why have you never considered moving on from my father? There was never anyone for you?"

"Could you easily move on from Quincy?"

I'm silent for a moment as I consider that. I've never been able to move on, but thirty years is a long time. "Why the revolving door of men? Were you ever open to meeting someone special?"

"Unfortunately, my broken heart never healed. I drown myself in pleasure to numb the pain. I don't want the same thing for you. I'm not proud of how I cope. I suppose I'm lucky that I still garner male attention because it's not like I take the time to let anyone get to know me. My looks won't last forever. And then I'll truly be alone."

I roll my eyes. "You're beautiful, Mom. Your looks aren't remotely fading. If anything, you're more beautiful now than ever."

"So are you, Ripley. Everyone around you sees it except you. Both inside and out. I know you have some misguided notions of being undeserving of a man like Quincy. If anything, it's the opposite. He's the lucky one."

"Thanks, Mom."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

She starts to leave, but I stop her. "Mom?"

She turns around. "Yes?"

"Maybe it's time for you to open yourself up to the possibility of more too."

She has a weird look on her face, almost as if she's considering it. "Maybe you're right."

"Speaking of being open to scary things, will you give me the contact information for my brother and sister? I think I want to reach out. It's time."

She's told me a handful of times in the past several months that they keep calling her about getting together. I haven't been emotionally ready for it, but I think I am now.

Tears sting her eyes, but she nods. "Of course."

The Cougars flew into Philly after their night game, and Quincy arrived home in the middle of the night. I heard him open my door, remove his clothes, check in on Kaya in her bassinet, give her a kiss, and then slide in behind me in bed.

I pretended to be asleep, but he pulled my body into his and kissed my back over and over, telling me how much he missed me and loves me. My mind is a complete and total mess over him. He's never been this outwardly affectionate.

I think of what Arizona said about how happy Layton always is to see her. That's certainly how Quincy is making me feel right now.

I keep replaying my mom's words repeatedly in my head. But I'm afraid. Afraid of the hurt he's inflicted on me in the past. Afraid this is too good to be true.