12

I had just sat down with a large pitcher of margaritas and nachos somewhere no one would ever think to look for me when Jerome appeared. I was about to tell him to sod off, but he said the one thing that cut through the mental breakdown I was having.

"It's Hunt and it's bad," he whispered.

I made cash appear on the table as I teleported to the man I loved… Only to find him in his wolf form.

And he was fighting a lion.

In front of the police station.

"Don't," one of Hunt's team said when I went to intervene. "His place as your mate was threatened. His wolf has to handle this."

I gave the man a withering look. "He is more than his damn animal. That's an elder and one clearly unhinged coming after him." I ignored the man and stepped forward. "Remy, I am your mate. I say so, and that's the only opinion that matters!"

He took one shot to get free from the situation he was in and immediately came by me, sitting down next to me with a huff.

I hoped of relief or being tired and not annoyed with me. I reached over and stroked his head, glad when he leaned into me.

The lion focused on us and roared loud enough to rattle everything around us and break the glass of a few police cruisers.

"You've gone feral, James," I whispered, my heart breaking to realize that. "You should have taken the help when it was offered." I held out my hand and used my power to force him to shift back and clothe him since there were tons of humans around.

"You are mine, Soraya. You always have been, and when I kill the wolf, we can be together," James growled from where he was kneeling.

I bound him magically. "I will always be mine , and we have not been together in over nine hundred years. You lost yourself when you lost your mate, and instead of listening to us…" I trailed off and shook my head.

There was no point in hashing this out. The crazed look in his eyes said it all.

I felt better when Remy licked my hand. "You attacked the mate of an elder with the intent to kill. You will be stripped of your elder title and role until a tribunal is held and your fate decided. May the gods help us be just."

Tommy showed up with a team and nodded that he had the situation under control.

I waited until he left with James before kneeling next to Remy. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I thought he would get help from his own people if he turned down ours." I gasped as Remy changed back into a man and hugged me with all he had.

I hurried to dress him.

All of Chicago didn't need to see his sexy attributes.

"You're okay, Soraya," he whispered as he stroked my hair and held me tightly. "You're okay."

Wait, what? Why was he comforting me?

Because I was sobbing and shaking. I hadn't realized it, but I was. I tried to get myself together. This wasn't about me but what just happened to Remy.

"I'm sorry," I blubbered. "I'm sorry."

"I'm fine," he promised. "Not a scratch on me. It was cathartic after how he's treated you. All of this crazy too many direct at you." He kissed my hair again and again as he kept trying to comfort me. "I know he was an elder, but my wolf is way more agile, and I stay fit for my mate. I'm at the top of my game and he's lazy. I wasn't in any danger. I promise."

I nodded and tried to put the stopper back in my emotions. He didn't know this was about more than him, and he had to get back to work. I'd ruined enough of everything for him.

I gave him a soft kiss. "I love you. Don't you dare go getting hurt on me."

Shock flashed in his eyes. "You protect me with the collar. I would be teleported home if it was ever dicey." He studied me closely. "Are you okay?"

"No, but—there's a lot going on." I kissed him again. "I'll handle everything and see you after work."

"Yeah, sure," he whispered, worry in his eyes.

That was the last thing I wanted, so I quickly found Ellie in the group and asked her to make sure Remy was okay and keep a close eye on him for me. She nodded, clearly getting something was going on as well.

I teleported away and should have been surprised at where I ended up… But I really wasn't.

Tears filled my eyes, blurring my view of Victor. "I need you to be my big brother. I'm breaking. It's too much. I can't—and now James tried to kill Remy. I can't anymore."

I broke down sobbing, screaming sobbing. The ugly kind with snot and all the gross even.

I don't know how long I went on for, but at some point I lost the more hysterical side and realized there was some of my favorite food in front of me. Okay, so I'd been crying long enough for them to order food or go get it around London.

After a few English breakfasts and my magic had settled a bit now that I had food—and I was grateful you could get that no matter the time in London—I moved on to pastries. "I slept with the Devil. The actual Devil. Lucifer. I know him as Loek and thought he was an enchanter. I'm the one who convinced him to abandon Hell and that's why we're all fucked now."

I simply nodded when I heard a plate break.

Yeah, dropping things seemed the appropriate response.

Actually, drinking was too.

I made a bunch of bottles appear from the warehouse we kept full of gifts and needed as perks for people. I opened whatever was closest to me and took a long swig.

"Nope, enough of that," Andrew said as he took the bottle. "I will get you something to mix with and not destroy your liver." He winked at me when I snorted.

Like he was one to talk. The wanker had drunk a country's worth of booze… And not just in his long lifetime.

No, he'd done that in a year now and again.

Lush.

Still, he mixed a damn fine drink, and I thanked him when I found it was tasty.

I rambled about what was going on, knowing I would regret it later with the way the nest gossiped and never let anything go. But I still needed to vent, and while the fuckers might judge, they wouldn't… It would stay in the family.

I blinked and two Helens were there.

"What's in this swill?" I asked Andrew. "I'm seeing Helen and her sister that she doesn't have."

"I've been bringing you food for a while, Soraya," Helen chuckled. "Jerome, Keegan, and I have been here on and off checking on you while you use your brothers for therapy. And I need to drink for you."

"Sorry." I might have said more, but a hiccup and then a rather long burp came out of me. "Sorry again."

"We've seen worse from you," Victor drawled.

That was true.

Very true even.

I opened my mouth to agree but then completely lost my train of thought and everything else when I saw who was standing behind them. "I will never forgive you if you hurt them. Not ever and—"

"And you wonder why I never told you," Loek chuckled darkly. "I wonder if it was because you would judge and treat me differently? Like everyone else."

I frowned. "No, it's because you came here and you never have shown yourself. I realized that's part of why I'm stupid and—you never were around others. Only when I was alone. That should have been a red flag. And you were pissed I brought Brax and Michelle by you. Trapped you. It's not about you being the Devil or—"

"I get it," he interrupted, studying me closely.

I teleported and blocked Victor when the ancient went to make a move. "You've lived too long to be so stupid. He's not here to hurt anyone. Don't force his hand."

"Your big brother was just going to block my view of you and ask me to come back when you're not inebriated," Loek explained. "I'm not staying, so you don't have to worry about this. There is one thing I need to clear with her, so let me."

Wow. Just… Wow .

Loek was suddenly holding me. "Okay, let's not have you fall on your head, drunk girl. I don't need that on my conscious as well." He moved me back to my seat and took the chair next to me. He did a double take when he saw Helen. "You are her right hand. How does Raphael treat her?"

"I don't feel comfortable interjecting here without Soraya's permission," Helen said with balls of steel. "I understand your concerns, but I don't know you, your angle here, nor think you are the right person to meddle in her life when it's been so long since you've had a presence in it."

"You're not wrong, but I'm glad she's got someone so loyal ready to throw down for her," he muttered before focusing back on me. "There's one thing I need to clear up, and I'm glad I came back to do it since you're spiraling out on so many things. I cannot let this be one of them. Are you sober enough to retain this?"

"Maybe, but if not, I trust Helen to tell me later," I answered after a moment... While reaching for a brownie. "Brax treats me well."

"I know you've said that and I'm furious at myself for not understanding he was an angel and then I would have known…" He shook his head before taking my other hand. He frowned when I pulled it away.

"This isn't about what you are. It's about you being his brother. He asked for something very normal and for us not to touch when—"

Anger filled his eyes and he gave a sharp nod. Then he let out a tortured chuckle. "It is the worst twist of fucked fate that the only woman I've thought I could love ends up with the brother who didn't love me enough to even listen to me. Cast me out to a torture he could never have understood or cared enough to worry about."

"And I've regretted that," Brax said from the other side of the table, showing himself to us. "It never occurred to me that you didn't kill our sister, but I have regretted many, many times that I acted too rashly. It wasn't my lack of love for you that had me do it, Loek. It was my love for everyone else I protected and had to worry about that I cut you out."

He gave me a look and I nodded. We understood each other on this.

I'd done it to him when his family was a threat to me.

"Be good to her or I swear I will send all of my plane after you, Raphael," Loek threatened. "She is the one woman that—"

"If we were meant to be, we would already have been, darling," I said gently to Loek. "I wasn't ready, and clearly you still have too many demons—forgive the pun." I tapped the table to get his attention. "What were you going to tell me? I want to get back to my drinking before Remy gets off work and I have to pretend to be fine."

"He's already off work," Brax drawled. "That was why I came looking for you. He's worried, and apparently you blocked him from teleporting to you. Isaac too."

"That was unintentional," I sighed. "And I'm too drunk to figure out how to undo it." I focused on Loek.

"I was always going to leave Hell," he told me softly, nodding when I couldn't hide my shock. "You just made me see I was worth demanding better for myself when I was mostly doing it out of spite and upset at what was done to me. I was ready to walk away and let everything explode. I was ready to let it and the angels do their fucking jobs instead of it all on me."

"And Soraya showed you that you were more than your role and a real person who deserves more," Brax whispered. "Yes, she has that talent." He smiled when a few people snorted. "I hated how we ended up and the pain that has come about with things spinning out of control, but I am glad you understand that about yourself now, Loek."

"It's hard to hear that from you," he grumbled.

"I still celebrate your birth," Brax rasped after a moment. "Every year no matter how many pass. I still make that lamb meal appear that was your first time having it and your favorite on your birthday. I enjoy it and think of you, the good times."

"That's lovely for one dead, but I wasn't dead, Raphael. I was abandoned. I was the sacrificial lamb to handle Hell and take the blame for everything. Even the demons now going crazy. Why is that on me? I didn't ask for any of this!"

"You're right, and too much has happened for a simple apology. I don't know that I can ever make this right, but I do agree even if you committed the crime, the punishment was too much. I don't know what to do now though because you did become…"

He flinched. "The monster you all thought me. Am I though? I did my job and kept them in line, but the job was being the head of evil, Raphael! I didn't make the deals. I didn't—I have not hurt anyone since I walked away. I've only hurt demons. The rest was set up before I was cast out!"

I moved my hand to his arm. "Loek, the best part of being the boss is you're the damn boss. I get that was the system or—you can change it. What do you want it to be?"

"I want angels to fucking get more involved like we always should have," he whispered. "I'm too tired to be the dam keeping the floods back anymore, Soraya. It wasn't fair, and I can't keep doing it—I can't go back. I'm sorry that makes it all worse for you and might doom the world but why should they get choices I didn't? And then I pay for crimes I didn't commit?"

And then he was gone.

"Before you even ask," I said to Brax, waiting until he met my gaze. "No, my feelings weren't the same for him as they are for you. It wasn't remotely the same type of relationship. I won't go into details because that's not healthy, but I will give you one very clear example of why I would choose you a million times over, okay?"

He swallowed loudly. "Please. I know it's not fair, but I'm struggling with this."

That was more than understandable, which was why I was saying all of this. "You call me ‘sunshine.' He used to call me his ‘dark magic.'" I felt seen when several of the nest flinched. I stood, ignoring that I was a bit wobbly, and went over to Brax who was frowning. "I want to be with the man—give my love to the man—who sees me as his sunshine, not his darkness."

Relief filled his eyes and he gave me a soft kiss. "Can you forgive me for making a mistake that hurt your friend?"

"Yes," I answered instantly. I smiled when he seemed shocked. "You were grieving and trusted your family wouldn't lie. You all act too rashly, but so have I, Brax. We all have. You made a mistake and fell. What matters to me is how you get back up from this and recover. That you are a man worthy of giving my love to and can handle this."

"I don't know how to handle it this time, Soraya," he confessed. "I'm all tied up, and… I think this will break me."

That was fair and I said as much. "Then trust me to help, okay? Trust in us as a team. What I need to know is who is telling the truth. Can you get Gabriel to confess, or—we need to know the answer."

"Yeah, yeah, we really do," he whispered and then hugged me as he broke down crying.

That was to be expected.

I just didn't know what to do about the rest.