Chapter 8 Shea

My mind whirled with everything that had happened the last few days—and all the questions I had because of that—as I spoke the words to the calling spell Julian had taught me.

"Sedjed Ka."

"Hello?" came Julian's uncertain voice in my ears like he was speaking to me through headphones. "Shea?"

"Yeah. It's me. We need to talk."

"Actually, you caught me at a good time. I happen to be in the area. Would you like me to come to your house?"

I sucked my lips between my teeth, my pulse thumping in my temples. Did he know where I lived? I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that if the answer was yes.

There were so many reasons why him coming here would be a bad idea. Gram had been way too suspicious about a gryphon shifter coming to see me. If she found out that a vampire had been in her house, she'd probably lock me in our non-existent basement and throw away the key.

"No, not here," I hedged. "This is a small town. People talk. "

"Fair enough. Where, then?" The amusement I detected in his tone made my walls of suspicion wobble a bit, but I willfully hoisted them back into place.

"There's a coffee shop a few blocks away. Incredible Brew ."

"Great. Meet you in twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, I can do that." I glanced at the afternoon daylight blanketing my floor from the open window and almost asked if the sun would be a problem, but then I remembered I'd seen him during the day last time. I'd have to ask him about that.

"Alright. See you soon." I could practically hear the smile in that man's voice, and it warmed my insides in a way that conflicted me further.

I ended the connection, frowning at myself as I quickly cleaned up. I simply could not feel this way about Julian after what Caesar and I had just done—had been doing. I was crazy about Caesar, even if our situationship was super complicated.

I mean, it wasn't like we were in any way exclusive, though, right? He didn't say he wanted me to be his girlfriend. In fact, he was pretty much ashamed to be seen with me. He'd only said he wanted me. That didn't make me his girl.

Ugh, that didn't even matter because I didn't know if I could really trust Julian. That was the whole point of this meeting. And nothing was going to happen this time because we were meeting somewhere public. We were just two people getting coffee.

Well, he was a vampire so he wouldn't have coffee. He liked to drink… My cheeks—and several other places—burned at the memory of our last meeting, and I swooned slightly as I ran my hand over the spot on my neck where he'd bitten me.

Stop it, Shea !

Done with these stupid romantic notions, I grabbed my coat and headed out of my room.

"Where are you going?" Gram asked from where she sat on the couch. She had a blanket draped over her lap, a sitcom playing on the small tv that sat in the corner.

"To meet a friend." At her raised brow, I added, "I won't be long. Promise."

"Is your homework done?"

"Yep!" I swung the coat on.

Gram sat up a little straighter, her gray eyes sparkling like that of a fox. "And is this friend a girl or a boy?"

I smirked. "Boy, but it's not like that." Well, it is, but it definitely isn't.

"Is it the man from the other day?"

My face reddened, spiking my frustration. "No—ugh—Do you want me home before dark or what?"

"No later than five-thirty," Gram acquiesced, though I didn't miss her unspoken "or else."

I gave a noncommittal grunt before rushing out the door.

I pulled the zipper on my coat all the way up to my chin and withdrew the hat and gloves I kept in the pockets. I didn't mind the brisk air, but with the approaching nightfall, it was going to get a hell of a lot colder, and soon.

As I walked down the sidewalk, I couldn't help but beam at the Christmas decorations peppering the block, letting them distract me for just a moment of peace. Wreaths twinkled, trees glistened and glowed, and even the most mundane festively designed wires were transformed into pure magic with the tiny bulbs and tinsel .

This was my favorite time of year. I loved everything about Christmas, from putting up the tree to picking out and wrapping presents to the festive music that blared from every station.

But even with the magic that seemed to embody my every hope and dream, this year, I was having a difficult time getting into the spirit. Because the world wasn't just full of magic. It was also full of very real dangers, and those dangers had never felt closer to home.

When I arrived at the quaint coffee shop, I lingered outside the front door for a moment. I couldn't help but be nervous. Of course, I had plenty of reasons to be apprehensive about meeting a vampire—one who had fed on me! —but none of those were the reason why my hand trembled as I reached for the door.

Stepping slowly inside, I scanned the room—no sign of Julian. I sighed, deflating a little.

I found an out-of-the-way spot and started studying the menu. Coffee wasn't really my thing, but they made the best hot chocolate here. Nothing like a steaming mug of cocoa to get you into the Christmas spirit.

Mug in hand, I turned gingerly away from the counter so as not to spill it, only to find Julian sitting where I'd just been, smiling like he owned the place.

I rolled my eyes as I sat across from him. "You're late."

"Sorry. I needed a drink before I came. I figured, after what happened last time…"

I nearly choked on the too-hot and clearly ill-timed sip I'd just taken. I swallowed repeatedly to clear the discomfort, pushing the mug away from me on the table.

"Yeah, about that," I began, my throat still raw .

He leaned forward, his expression descending from an amused smirk to a disconcerted frown. "I can't apologize enough for that. I never…" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I never feed live. It's a point of pride with me. But I was so thirsty when you called last time. I lost control, and I took advantage of you. I'm so sorry for…everything that happened that day. I won't let it happen again."

I blinked at him a few times, trying to process everything he said.

He thought he took advantage of me? I'd wanted him long before that. Was his thirst the only reason he'd dry-humped me? Was that all it was? I had foolishly convinced myself that he actually liked me.

My gut knotted with shame and embarrassment. Of course, he didn't like me. He didn't have any interest in me beyond my magic. He'd asked me to bring his dead wife back from the grave, for shit sake! I had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time the other day. A heroin addict doesn't discern whether a particular hit is attractive or not, or has a great personality. They just take whatever they can get.

Fuck, I was so stupid for thinking this was more than what it was.

I nodded obstinately. "Okay. Good. Glad we got that cleared up. Water under the bridge."

His frown deepened, his brow pinching with dubious concern, making me realize there was very evident anger in my voice.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder and schooled my tone. " Any way. That's not the reason I asked you here. What affiliation do you have with other vampires?"

He cocked his head, obviously confused by my complete change of subject. "Um, well, that's a bit complicated. "

"Okay, I'll uncomplicate it," I said, very much all business now that I knew that's all we were to each other. "There was a big vampire attack in Chicago last Thursday, the day after I saw you. Were you involved?"

Julian looked away, his already pale complexion looking a little paler. "I'm afraid it's better if we don't speak of it."

I took a deep breath. "Look, if I'm going to work with you, I need to know you're one of the good guys."

He looked me dead in the eyes, his expression solemn and sincere. "I am."

I studied him for a long moment, waiting for him to crack, some emotion to betray him. Or maybe he'd pull the compulsion card. Not all vampires could compel others, but older ones sometimes could. And despite his youthful appearance, Julian had a bearing about him that seemed stuck in another century. Yeah, he was probably ancient—and somehow, that wasn't creepy.

Still, I felt no different, neither swayed for or against my initial impression, just my gut saying he was telling the truth. But I wasn't letting him off that easy.

"If you want my help, you'll have to do better than that. I need an explanation, or you can have your grimoire back." I kept my gaze on him steady and unwavering, desperately hoping he wouldn't call my bluff because, honestly, I'd sooner die than give up the grimoire.

He looked at me for a long moment. I almost thought I saw longing in his eyes, but then I stubbornly reminded myself that the longing was really for his dead wife. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Finally, he let out a breath then looked around the coffee shop as if someone might be eavesdropping before leaning close again .

"Yes, I am affiliated with those vampires, and yes, I was involved in the attack, but it's not what you think," he whispered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, my emotional outrage telling me I should walk away at the same time that my gut told me to hear him out.

"I left the vampires a decade ago," he continued. "I hate everything they stand for, and I wanted to be better. But just recently, an old friend from the shifter school asked me to rejoin the vampires as a spy. You know him, I think. I caught his scent at your friend's house along with yours. Caesar."

I swear on everything that is good and pure in this world that my heart. Fucking. Stopped.

My brain must have stopped, too, because I momentarily lost the ability to form thoughts into words in my mind. I was too stunned, shocked into a vegetative state for several long seconds.

"He's the contact I have at the school," Julian continued when I only stared blankly at him. "He's the reason I said I could get you in. If he knew how much you could help our joint cause, I'm sure he'd consider a placement for you."

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit!

Not only had I hooked up with the two hottest guys I'd ever seen—probably on the entire planet—but they fucking knew each other! And obviously, neither of them knew about my affiliation with the other.

Shit just got a whole lot more complicated.

"That's the only reason I went back, I swear to you," Julian went on. "I risked my life going back, and it was only thanks to the grace of whatever higher power exists that Hadrian, the vampire leader, didn't kill me. I had no choice but to be part of that attack, or he would have. But I didn't hurt those kids. I did as little as possible without alerting too much suspicion."

Finally finding my motor functions again, I managed to nod my head slowly up and down. For once, in the presence of this gorgeous creature, all the blood drained from my cheeks, and he must have noticed because he asked, "Shea, are you okay?"

I pulled my drink closer and took a sip, relieved that it cooled to a drinkable level. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little surprised, that's all."

He gave me a sheepish frown that made him look entirely cute. "Are you still willing to help me?"

How could I not melt under that imploring gaze? I forced my eyes away from his adorable face and looked down, only to finally see what he was wearing—the kitty sweater. Oh, for fuck sake!

"You found my gift," I blurted out awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled and looked down at it. "The pink of the bow really flatters my eyes, don't you think?"

I sighed, unable to fight a smile. "Yes, I'll still help you." Because, apparently, I'm a masochistic idiot who thrives on the rejection of super hot, unavailable men.

His smile grew, his eyes sparkling with relief that I tried not to read too much into. "How's that going, by the way?"

I took another sip of my cocoa, willing its heat to warm my soul. "At this rate, it'll take me ages to get through that book, and that's not counting the locks and wards that keep the more powerful spells hidden. It's like I have to earn the book's trust."

"Well, I've got all of eternity."

His eyes found mine and held them for a long moment, a mixture of unreadable emotions swimming within them that did confusing things to my insides. Why did he have to be so mysterious? And gorgeous? And look so damn good in that ridiculous sweater? Honestly, I didn't know who wore it better, him or Caesar.

"I should get going. I want to get back before dark." Julian looked around as he rose from the table, a haunted look in his eyes. "You should, too."

I nodded reluctantly.

He rested his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze that sent shivers all the way down to my toes. "Don't worry. We'll get this worked out. And until then, you can use my apartment on the weekends for your experiments."

His fingers began to lift off my shoulder, but I caught his wrist.

"Wait." I pulled a pen from my purse and wrote my number on his palm. "In case you need to get ahold of me. Way quicker than a letter. Besides, you shouldn't make the girl do all the work in the relationship. I'm progressive, but not that progressive."

Julian smirked. "Until next time."

I didn't let go. "One more thing. How can you walk in the sunlight?"

He eased his wrist out of my grip and slid his hand into his pocket. He squinted at the large storefront windows, though his gaze seemed focused on something much further away in time and space.

"Dig deep enough in that book, and you'll find the answer."

I startled as a key clinked on the table.

"So you don't have to break in anymore." Julian winked .

I exhaled a forgotten breath as he breezed out of the cafe and put the key in my pocket with a soft smile on my lips. It was an unexpected gesture, one that I was trying desperately not to read anything into.

I finished my cocoa and exited the cafe. With my mind still brewing over the conversation I'd had with Julian, I nearly ran into a guy who looked to be about my age. Brown eyes with flecks of amber met my gaze from beneath dark hair, the long front draped partially over his face.

And was he wearing eyeliner? I didn't run into many goths in Shallow Grave, but I kinda liked the look.

He smiled at me. "Sorry."

"Yeah, likewise." I made to go around him, but he stopped me.

"I'm Adam, by the way."

I cocked a brow. "You make a habit of introducing yourself to everyone you run into?"

"Only the pretty ones."

I gave an amused huff. "Shea. But that's all you're getting from me."

"Well, Shea-but-that's-all-you're-getting-from-me, I hope we meet again."

I shook my head and spoke over my shoulder as I walked away, "One can always dream."

I had enough to worry about with the two men who were already taking up too much of my mental and emotional space. The last thing I needed was to add another random guy to the mix.

Dream on, dude.