Chapter 22 - Kaius

The night air is brisk, missing that frigid edge we've had so much of lately. We walk in silence for most of the way, gravel and twigs crunching beneath our steps, her breathing light and shallow. The weight of all the unspoken words hangs in the air and smothers me.

I want to tell her I'm sorry. Show her I'm not that person I'd seen reflected in her mind. I need to prove to her that I'm nothing like her ex, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. The only thing I'm able to get out during the walk is some deep sighs as the words die in my throat.

We reach Merl's house, and I turn to face her, my breath a faint fog in the crisp air.

"Julie, I need to apologize," I begin, my voice soft. "For the way I behaved early on. I never meant to hurt you. The only way I know how to fit in is as the funny guy. It's my own way of coping with my shitty past, which doesn't excuse it, and if I'd known how you felt about people and crowds, I wouldn't have ever said it."

She says nothing, her eyes searching mine. The silence stretches on, and I feel a pang of uncertainty in my chest. I reach out for her hand, and while she doesn't pull away, her posture is stiff and unyielding.

She stays silent, her expression guarded. Her green eyes look straight through me, and I swear I have never felt so undone by a look.

"Thanks. I don't know how to put it into words very well. The things I've been through make it difficult for me to believe you aren't really like that. I want to believe you're not that person."

"I think the only way I can prove that is through actions, really."

"You know, I think you need to let other people's actions speak to you as well, Kaius. You put on this funny guy front, but if you're doing it because you're worried they're going to turn you out, maybe you need to look at their actions and what they tell you as well."

She nods, chewing on the corner of her lip. We stand there for a moment longer, the cool breeze rustling the bare branches and pine needles around us. I want to say more, to reassure her I mean what I've said, but the words catch in my throat. The truth in her words has cut me to my core.

"Well, goodnight, Julie," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Goodnight, Kaius," she replies, turning toward the door.I watch her disappear into the house before I turn and make my way back toward the trees. The night seems quieter now, the cold air seeping into my bones. I can't shake the feeling of uncertainty that lingers in my mind. I can't help but wonder where we stand now.

I settle in on a tree stump, planning to stay to make sure she's safe. My phone chirps in my pocket with a text from Cyrus. He needs me to patrol with him. Duty calls. The thought of leaving her, of not being there to protect her, gnaws at me with every step I take down the familiar path home.

The door of my little cabin space comes into view faster than I realized, my thoughts still swirling around how to make things right with Julie and the realization that I need to. There's no question about it. I need her to see that I'm not that person. I just… Need her. I check my phone before dropping it on my bed, no new messages.

Cyrus and I set out on patrol, the moon casting a dim light on the path ahead. We move quietly, our senses on high alert as we scan the surroundings for any sign of danger. But my mind keeps drifting back to Julie—her initiating things tonight, pulling me away in a crowded place. I can't help but wonder if there's some side of her that's been craving this kind of excitement and passion for a while.

Everything between us tonight felt like touching fire. I have never wanted to burn so badly in my life. To feel the way I do when I'm with her, I would happily sink into the flames. The look on her face when we locked eyes in the mirror continues to haunt me as I walk down the path.

We're deep in the woods, and I'm lost in the idea of other places I want to have her when the loud crack of branches snaps me out of it. Several large shapes emerge from the shadows, their eyes gleaming in the moonlight. Cyrus and I barely have time to shift before they're on us, their claws slashing through the air.

There are six of them to the two of us, but there's not a single one of them who can outpower either of us one-on-one. Several of them are trying to pile up on Cyrus, but he's ruthless in his efficiency. I move quickly, picking off the smallest of them with a quick wrenching motion; I snap his neck, discarding him as I feel one of them slam into me from the back.

I pivot, rolling his weight over me before I turn to face him. I register Cyrus has two bodies on the ground next to him and is facing off with two attackers. Three left. I land a couple rapid blows to my opponent's face.

My movements are instinctive and swift. But my mind is still clouded with worry for Julie, trying to think about how close or far we are from her right now. The thoughts are pulling my focus, and I recognize how much as I watch the clawed hand of the shifter I'm fighting swipe straight for my exposed ribs.

It's a stupid mistake, and I realize it as soon as I feel the deep tears of claws raking into the meat of my body. I left my entire left side exposed like an absolute idiot. I drive my elbow down hard against the arm of the other shifter to break his grip on me. Bones crack, and he releases me.

Pain shoots through me, and I stumble back, clutching awkwardly at the wound. Cyrus steps in with brutal precision as he takes down the attacker. He turns to me, his eyes wide with concern.

Damn it.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice tight. "What the hell was that Kaius? I know you saw me let my guard down, but dude. That's not like you."

"I'm fine," I grunt out, putting pressure on the wound as best as I can, but the heavy metallic smell of blood is thick in the air.

Cyrus doesn't look convinced. "If this is you fine, then we're fucked."

He turns to survey the surrounding bodies. He rolls the arm of the nearest over, and we both see the small tattoo showing that they're from the Eclipse clan.

"The rest of the team should be here in a moment," Cyrus sighs.

"Still feeling certain Julian will be too busy to worry about us?" I ask, my voice tight as I try to limit the depth of my breaths. Inhaling too deeply stretches the gash on my side painfully. We sit in silence for a moment, the tension from the fight still lingering in the air. Cyrus watches me carefully, his eyebrows pinched together.

"I stand by it. This is no different from the attacks we've been seeing. Stop trying to dodge the real question. What the fuck is going on with you, Kaius?" he finally asks, his voice firm.I let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of everything bearing down on me.

"It's Julie," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "I can't stop thinking about her."

Cyrus nods, his expression understanding.

"You can't fight the mate bond. You can try, but it'll just drive you both crazy in the end. I don't know if it's the proximity to the relic, but there was absolutely nothing I could do to deny that need for Lena."

"I don't know what to do, Cyrus. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. She's a human, and I feel like that is an issue. Separately, I was kind of adick to her. A few times, and I'm battling this hurt that she's suffering because of it."

"If she's your mate, fighting it is impossible. You trust that there's a purpose, some reason that you're mated to her. You need to get out of your head. Stop worrying about if you're enough, and just be deserving of her. That's all you can do."

We sit there in silence for a while longer, the cool night air soothing my nerves. Eventually, the rest of the team arrives, and Milo gets to work stitching me up. His hands move quickly and efficiently, and I grit my teeth against the pain.

"Is there a reason you're trying to imitate chopped meat today?" Milo mutters, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"You know, we thought you were getting a little rusty. Just wanted to make sure I gave you some practice," I mutter, my voice strained.

"You okay, Man?" Rufus asks, his voice gruff.

"He'll be fine," Milo sighs, "As long as he lets these sutures heal."

"What happened?" Evander asks, looking over the bodies that are scattered around the small clearing.

"Another ambush," Cyrus explains, his voice steady. "Seems to be their preferred approach. We handled it well enough again."

"Barely," Milo mutters, tying off the last stitch. I roll my eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as he steps back.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Milo."

"Hey, stop getting turned into sashimi and I'll stop questioning your skill," Milo snaps back.

"I can be sashimi and still be prettier than Rufus, at least," I laugh, wincing as the skin stretches against the sutures.

"You can't really count that as an accomplishment. That's like being proud of being able to dance better than Merl," Orion says quietly, with a wicked grin as we all laugh.

"I'll have you know I'm very pretty," Rufus huffs in indignation.

"I can't help but wonder what they're hoping to accomplish with these little ambushes," Cyrus says before igniting the bodies in a powerful arc of fire. The smell of burning flesh fills the air as his dragon fire burns through the bodies rapidly. The small, smoldering pile of ash left in their wake hisses faintly as we all stand there, surveying the damage for a moment.

"Maybe they're just trying to keep us preoccupied with defending these so that they can distract us from whatever else they're doing?" I ask, not really sure if I think it's plausible, either.

"It's that, or are they really dumb enough to think this will work, eventually?" Milo says with a shrug as he shoves the rest of his medical supplies into his kit.

"Either way, I wish we could get a little closer to figuring out this situation with the keys," Cyrus sighs, turning his back to the scene.

"Did we ever find out anything about why Lena's grandmother gave one to Merl for safekeeping?" Evander asks.

"Nothing yet," Cyrus sighs.

"Merl clams up every time I try to ask about it. And Julie still won't let me get him drunk enough to talk more, so no luck on that side," Rufus offers as he falls into step next to me.

"He's on painkillers. She doesn't want his liver to up and vacate the premises. Don't be a dick about it," I say, landing a smack against the back of Rufus's head.

We fall into an easy conversation as we continue down the path toward the house, the tension from earlier slowly fading away. I listen to them joke and banter, feeling a sense of comfort in their presence.

As the night wears on, I make my way back to my cabin. My mind is still buzzing with thoughts of Julie and the fight, but Cyrus's words echo in my mind, and I feel a sense of hope that wasn't there before. Julie's words echo in my mind and I think about the team around me and their actions.

I glance at my phone and let out a long exhale. A text from Julie thanking me for walking her home and saying goodnight. The faintest shred of hope is taking hold.

The mate bond between us is strong. I also know I need to be patient, to give her the space she needs. Given how bad her situation with her ex-boyfriend was, I recognize I need to actually show her that I'm capable of more than shitty, snarky comments that embarrass her. I drift off to sleep, my dreams filled with images of Julie and the future we might have together.