36. Luca

36 /

luca

I texted Adam after dinner, and he called me a few hours later. "Sorry to keep you waiting, but I had to take our client out to eat."

"No problem. I'm?—"

"Before anything else, listen to me carefully. Under no circumstances are you to leave that hospital until your doctor gives the okay. If you do, I'll come back up there and kick your ass."

It was no idle threat, because Adam had always worked out. He was bigger than me, and he was more than capable of kicking my ass if he wanted to. In my text, I'd told him I was planning to leave the hospital, and now that he'd said I shouldn't, he asked for details about why I'd thought it was a good idea. I filled him in on what had happened and shared some of Harper's messages. Finally, I said, "That's why I still think it would be a good idea to go to Ohio."

"We already discussed that." Adam's voice had taken on a stern edge. "It would be doing something that might gain an advantage short-term, only to come back and bite you in the ass later. I know the idea of a grand gesture sounds romantic, but don't you want to get well? Then you can be the man Harper needs, and you can both enjoy life."

Adam's words showed why I trusted him. He was an intelligent, mature man, and his thoughts were so sound I couldn't argue with them. "So, what should I do?"

"That's a no-brainer. Get Harper on FaceTime and tell him you're in love with him."

That was easy for Adam to say, but it wasn't that simple. "What if he has other ideas?"

"Even if that's the case, he deserves to know how you feel, so you have to tell him."

I scoffed. "What makes you so sure it's a good idea?"

"You just read me his message. Harper loves you. He sounded heartbroken, thinking you might want to break up."

"Maybe, but?—"

"Look, if he wanted to end things, he'd have done it when he got back to Buffalo after he went away. But he didn't, did he?"

"That makes sense, but who says ‘I love you' on a video call?"

"You do. There's no other choice."

"From a psych ward?"

"Luca Moretti, you are a grade-A knucklehead. I'd bet a week's salary Harper loves you. He'll want you to take care of yourself and get better."

"Even—"

"You love Harper, so give him a fucking chance. Call him, say you love him, and get ready to have all the support you need."

There was nothing more to say because Adam was right. I wasn't ready to leave the hospital, which meant I'd have to confess my feelings over FaceTime. But before that, I had to break the ice, so I spent a while writing a message. It was almost midnight when I finally sent it. Harp was probably asleep, but I hoped he'd see the text as soon as he woke up.

LUCA: I was thrilled to get your messages. Sorry it's taken me so long to answer, but I'll explain. I DON'T want to break up with you. I never did, and I hope you feel the same. I have some important things to tell you, so can we still talk? Please say yes. I know you're busy, but I'll do it any time that works for you.

I put my phone on the bedside table and tried to relax. To my surprise, it buzzed a minute later.

HARPER: I'm so fucking happy to hear from you! I definitely want to talk, but I can't right now. Would tomorrow morning work? About 9:30? I'll FaceTime if that's okay.

I said a silent prayer of thanks.

LUCA: I can't wait to hear your voice, and 9:30 will be perfect. I'll be waiting.

I got up early and looked at my phone first thing. When I read last night's messages with Harp again, my mind started racing. I was nervous about using the L word, and I hoped he'd react well. Of course, I hoped he felt the same way, but I'd have to wait and see. If he didn't love me yet, I wouldn't give up. As long as we could see each other, I'd work hard to win him over. For now, I sent him another message.

LUCA: I'm really excited about talking. I'll be waiting at 9:30. 3

I needed to shower so I'd look my best, and I was getting my hospital toiletries out of a drawer when the phone chirped.

HARPER: Me too. TTYS. 3

I'd been afraid sending the heart emoji might be pushing it, but apparently not. Surely, he wouldn't have sent one back if he didn't mean it. To make certain I wouldn't be wearing scrubs when he called, I texted Caleb.

LUCA: Hey. Harper's going to FaceTime me at 9:30. Can you believe it? I really want to look nice for him, so please don't forget to bring the clothes I asked for. You're still coming at 9, right? I need time to get dressed.

CALEB: That's awesome, Luki. I promise to be there right on time, and I'll bring everything you need. Try to relax.

After my shower, I ate breakfast and waited for Caleb. He arrived on time, and after laying my clothes across a chair, he held his arms out for a hug. When we let go, he grinned. "Are you excited?"

I nodded. "Nervous though."

"You're going to tell him you love him, right?"

"Yes." A rush of anxiety made me dizzy. "I hope he takes it well."

"He will, but right now, you need to get dressed. Go get changed, and text me when you're ready for me to do your hair."

"You bet." I'd always been confident in my fashion sense, but I'd never been able to do much for my hair. Caleb started helping me with it when we were in school.

He'd brought exactly what I asked for: white shorts, a navy blue T-shirt, and a light blue shirt to wear on top. I'd worn the same outfit when I took Harper on our first official date, something I hoped he'd remember. After I put everything on and inspected myself in the mirror, I texted Caleb to come in. He had a small shopping bag, and I asked what was in it.

"Essentials." He removed them one at a time and held them up so I could see. "Hair paste. Cologne."

"I'm glad you thought of the hair paste, but why do I need cologne for a phone call?"

"Self-confidence." With a conspiratorial grin, he turned me toward the mirror and ran his fingers through my hair. "We feel better about ourselves when we smell good."

"What made you pick that one?"

He answered while working the paste into my hair. "You've worn it for a long time, so you must like it. I've always thought it smelled terrific on you."

I couldn't help smiling. "It's Harp's favorite."

"Must be a sign, then."

"I fucking hope so."

He messed with my hair until it looked better than anything I'd ever managed on my own. "How's this?"

"Perfect. Thanks for helping me look my best." I turned around to face him. "I appreciate your support so much."

His eyes welled up, but his smile didn't falter. "No worries. It's almost time to talk to Harper. If you tell him what's in your heart, everything will be okay."

My nerves kicked into high gear, and I took a deep breath. "I will."

Caleb reached for my hand. "Come with me."

"I thought I'd talk here. No offense, but I'd like some privacy."

"You can talk wherever you want, but trust me. You have about five minutes before he's supposed to call."

"Okay, then."

We walked down the hallway, and before we turned the corner into the common room, he dropped my hand and faced me. "I love you, Luca, and I'm so happy for you. Don't forget, say what's in your heart." He kissed me on the cheek. "You go first."

I walked in, then froze as my heart somersaulted. Harper was there, sitting in a chair across the room. He jumped up and hurried toward me, wearing a huge grin. I started walking, and we threw our arms around each other when we met in the middle of the room.

"Harp," I croaked as he pulled me close. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard what happened. I'm sorry for how I've acted."

I'd never felt anything half as good as Harper in my arms. We both broke down, clutching onto each other like drowning men, and it wasn't long before our lips met. It was the best kiss I'd ever had—holding each other, his lips on mine, our tongues brushing together. I pulled him closer, and we squeezed each other so tightly it was a wonder we didn't pass out.

The moment wasn't anywhere near long enough, but crying so hard had made my nose stuffy, and I needed air. We broke the kiss, both drawing away just enough to see the other clearly yet keep our hands on each other's arms.

While we struggled to catch our breath, I looked him over. Handsomer than ever, he looked hot as hell in fitted black pants and a royal blue polo shirt. "I can tell you've been working out. Your pecs are about to bust through that shirt."

"Glad you noticed." He squeezed my arms. "You've lost weight, but we'll put it back on you. The nurse said there's a gym in the hospital, and I'll take you down there until you're ready to leave. After that, we'll work out together whenever we're both in town."

"Fantastic. I need a good workout partner. We can hold each other accountable."

The sound of laughter made us turn our heads. It was Caleb. "Are you seriously talking about workouts at a time like this?"

If Harp wants to work out together, then he expects to keep seeing me. "Sure, workouts are important."

"We have to bulk Luca up," Harper said, looking into my eyes. "He'll be in goal again before you know it, and I'll be at every game when I'm in town."

"I wouldn't miss yours, either."

Something changed between us. Regret darkened Harp's eyes, and he wrapped me in another hug. "Fuck, Luca. What did we do?"

We cried more, and I held on tightly, kissing his throat and chin, then making my way back to his lips. Between pecks, I said, "Please forgive me. I don't ever want to hurt you again."

"I was an idiot. I'm so sorry."

We were still holding each other when the tears stopped, and when I realized we were standing in the common room, I wondered what kind of audience we had. I looked around and only saw Caleb and a nurse.

"I sent everybody to their morning groups," the nurse said, then twisted her lips into a wry grin. "You're excused for the day."

"Thanks." I looked back at Harper. "I assume Caleb called you, but how did you get here?"

"He came to Ohio to bring me home. We didn't get here until three in the morning."

"Well worth it," Caleb said.

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Cale. This is the best thing you've ever done for me."

Harp looked at Caleb and added, "I'll never forget it. Thank you."

Caleb joined us for a group hug. When we all let go, he said, "It's amazing seeing you both so happy."

"Caleb and I talked about everything on the drive home last night," Harp said. "I understand what happened, and we're okay with each other."

"You're all the common ground we need, Luki," Caleb said, smoothing a hand over my back. "Harper and I are going to be great friends."

I looked back and forth between them. "This makes me even happier than I already was. Thank you both."

Caleb nodded. "You two need to talk, so I'll go. Is it all right if I come back tonight for a while? I'll fly out to Chicago in the morning."

"If you're planning to stay overnight, why don't you all go out to dinner?" someone asked.

We turned our heads, and I was surprised to find Dr. Putnam had come in. "This is a hospital, not a prison," she said. "I think a night out would be good for you, Luca. As long as you come back after you eat, of course."

"That would be fantastic. Can Harp please stay with me today? We haven't seen each other for a while."

"It's fine if you promise to talk about things. I want to see you flourish, Luca, not simply have another break from depression."