Chapter Thirteen

“TYLER?” JOSHcalled into the house from the doormat, glanced at his watch. No answer, but he could hear noises down the hall.

Josh got back in his truck, the engine still idling, and waited for Tyler to emerge so they could head back to his sister’s house. It had been a horrible couple of days, and it was about to get worse.

After Josh’s blowup at Myra, Carver had been obliged to officially reprimand him and add the incident to his file. Josh had taken three days of personal leave, and when he came back nobody in the building had the nerve to say jack to him. Mostly everyone tiptoed around him.

In his report, Carver had taken a lot of the blame, for allowing Myra a chance to attack Josh so publicly and worse. One of the bitchier board members had made noises about pursuing the matter and pressing some kind of imaginary charges until Tyler’s lawyers rattled sabers and scared them off.

Sometimes it’s good to be the king.

Josh didn’t want to sue anyone. Something had changed in him. Ultimately that outburst had shaken Josh out of a fifteen-year sleepwalk. Carver’s order to take a few days off gave him a chance to think about the bottled rage he had been carrying around. He wasn’t proud of saying those things to Myra, but he was sure as hell glad he had. He was relieved there had been witnesses. Truth isn’t comfy.

All those years, Myra Waxman had only felt empowered to grope him, smother him, and judge him because he’d allowed it. Playing nice and greasing the wheels were fine, but you had to fight the battles that mattered. If he’d maintained better boundaries or confronted her in real time, he might have defused whatever ugly power she pretended to have.

Never again.

The past few months with Tyler had woken something in him, made him see his choices and actions through clear eyes. Roots are great, but trees grow up and out. Carver’s mandatory three-day vacay had also given them extra time together when it mattered most.

Now the moment had finally come when Tyler would return to San Diego. They both knew he had to return to his NFL life, no matter how much they dreaded what came next. He’d been stalling for a couple weeks, but the time had come to face the music.

Josh’s fingers tapped an anxious rhythm on the steering wheel as he thought about the looming goodbye. Logically, he understood. It didn’t help much. Determined to send Tyler off without making it worse, he plastered a cheerful smile on his face, but it faltered at the sight of Tyler’s numb expression as he emerged from the house.

In just a few hours, he would board a private jet to Las Vegas. The San Diego Swells wanted to announce his full recovery at a press conference scheduled for this afternoon before they played the Raiders. The Swells were soldiering through the playoffs as best they could without their MVP.

“Hey, big guy,” Josh said, trying to sound cheerful. “All set?” He leaned over and pushed open the passenger door.

Tyler nodded silently and swung onto the seat with a scowl, buckling himself in with fumbling fingers. As they pulled away, his hand found Josh’s, clenching tight.

Josh squeezed back reassuringly, but he couldn’t ignore the chill in his chest. “You got this.”

“Three hours,” Tyler muttered, his voice grim. “I hate these dog and pony shows. At least they sent a plane.”

“Private jet? Fancy,” Josh quipped. “You know what they say—getting there is none of the fun.”

Tyler didn’t even crack a smile. He only stared out the window, his grip on Josh’s hand unrelenting. “They want me in Vegas by five. Big announcement with the coaches.” His voice was flat. “Captain Fantastic, back from the dead.”

They passed the high school, and Tyler turned to look at it with an odd expression. He shook his head at the familiar buildings, the track peeking out behind the gym. “Sorry. I’m being a pill.”

Josh swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to tell Tyler that he didn’t have to go or to offer to come with him. Instead, he focused on the road ahead, keeping his thoughts to himself.

They drove in silence through the quiet streets of Cinnamar. Josh wrestled with his anxiety. How would they survive the distance, the tabloids, the relentless pressure of Tyler’s career? He knew that Tyler needed to prove something, but at what cost? He snuck a glance at Tyler’s grim face. He looked like he was headed to his own execution.

Josh gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll be back before you know it.” Even as he said the words, he wondered if he was trying to convince Tyler or himself.

Tyler just stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” Josh murmured, his voice barely audible above the hum of the truck’s engine.

“Promise,” Tyler replied, low.

They continued the drive in silence, their hands still clasped, no words needed.

They pulled up to Nadia’s place, the engine rumbling as Josh put the truck in Park.

Tyler flashed him a tight, false smile. “I should get this over with.” He dropped Josh’s hand to open the door.

Josh followed him inside, where he hovered near the entrance to the living room.

“I was about to send Mr. Poops with a search party.” Nadia walked toward them, cradling the cat. “How we doing, boys?” When Tyler didn’t answer, she glanced at Josh.

He shook his head, and she nodded in understanding.

“Tyler, I did laundry last night, and your suitcase is on the bed.” She put a gentle hand on his arm. “Why don’t you go take a look.”

“Right.” Tyler nodded. “Thanks.” He disappeared toward his bedroom.

Josh followed Nadia into the living room, reminded of how much of Tyler’s life had played out in these walls. For one second, he thought of twelve-year-old Tyler grabbing the belt out of Mr. Fantana’s hands in this room. Fighting Goliath even though he was terrified.

A wave of intense love and respect washed over him. Tyler was a good man.

Nadia nuzzled the big tabby and put him down. “How’s he holding up?”

“Not great.” He peered down the hall toward Tyler’s boyhood room. “We knew it was coming, but suddenly everything feels like a freaky fast-forward.”

Mr. Poops squeaked up at them as if asking a question and then wandered down the hall in Tyler’s direction.

Josh just shook his head. “That crazy cat really does love him.” Then, for no rational reason, his eyes welled up and a hot tear snaked down his face. He wiped it, feeling dumb.

“Oh, hon.” She frowned.

“Sorry. Last thing he needs.”

Nadia pursed her lips. “You can still talk him out of this. It’s too much, too soon.”

“He needs to do this for himself,” Josh replied quietly. “I can’t make this decision for him.”

“But you’re the only one he’ll listen to,” Nadia insisted, her dark eyes pleading. “Talk to him, Josh. He’s got to know how stupid this is. Not to mention dangerous.”

Josh stayed silent, his jaw tight. Maybe Nadia didn’t understand or didn’t want to.

On some level, he could understand Tyler’s compulsion. Maybe it was about the boyhood dream of being a big deal. Maybe it was about his dad and the fears about violence. Or maybe this really was a macho fantasy thing—Tyler needed to prove he could still play or he might never recover from the shame and doubt of his injury. He knew all these bits were tangled with Tyler and the game itself.

“Maybe you can go with him. You could take some time, right?”

“There’s no way.” Josh thought about all the drama at the school right now. “I’m in enough hot water as it is. But even if I could, Tyler would take it wrong.”

She rolled her eyes. “Testosterone. Ugh.”

They both looked up as Tyler came back down the hall, an overstuffed duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “I just crammed a couple piles in. I don’t know what. They’ll dress me. Or I’ll buy new stuff in Vegas.” He bobbed his head in mock readiness, lugging the lumpy bag on one shoulder as he headed to the front door.

Nadia stepped into his path, blocking his exit. “Ty, please don’t do this. You’re not ready.”

Tyler’s face clouded. “You don’t get it.”

Nadia turned to Josh.

He tried to step around her, but Nadia grabbed his arm. “Josh, back me up here.” She gave Josh a desperate look.

Josh hesitated. “More time couldn’t hurt.”

Tyler’s eyes flashed. “Don’t. This is hard enough.” He shook off Nadia’s grip and flashed a bright, false grin. “Vegas, baby. I’m going to be great. Wait and see.” He tugged open the door and headed out, refusing to look back at them.

Nadia threw up her hands in frustration. “You two are making me nuts.” She grabbed her purse and keys.

“What are you doing?” Josh didn’t understand.

“Driving you so you two can actually say goodbye, because he’s acting like a macho dumbass.”

Josh rolled his eyes. “I can drive a car.”

“Hon, it’s not like a normal person catching a flight. This has probably leaked on TMZ. You got TV stations, paparazzi. Football is a billion-dollar business.”

“Right. Jesus, I hadn’t—”

Her brow furrowed. “You need to start, hon. There will be a lot of cameras waiting. Reporters. Maybe fans. It can get physical. Nasty, even.” She looked at the door and shook her head. “He’s just not thinking.”

At that moment, Josh realized how unprepared he was for whatever mess came next. “I’m an idiot.”

“A matched set.” She smiled kindly at him. “Two idiots, but lovable. You’re a rookie, so you get a pass this time. For him, there’s no excuse.”

Josh took a deep breath and followed her outside, bracing himself for the awful goodbye ahead.

Tyler stood on the little lawn, staring up at the roof or maybe the sky, frowning and shaking his head with the bulgy bag still balanced on his shoulder.

Nadia locked her door and pointed Tyler to her car.

“You’re coming?” He gave her a squinty look of confusion.

“Unless you want Entertainment Tonight rummaging through your undies at prime time, you guys are going to need some help.”

Tyler tossed the duffel in the front passenger seat of Nadia’s car, propped up and buckled in like a passenger. “Camouflage,” he said. He slid into the back seat, his long legs barely fitting.

Josh climbed in next to him, their thighs pressed together. He was going to miss the closeness most of all.

As Nadia pulled out of the driveway, Tyler laced his fingers through Josh’s. “I don’t want to go back,” he whispered.

Josh squeezed in response. “It’s your call. I get it. Proving you can or protecting yourself.”

Nadia was not as tactful. “Nuts. What is so important about a game you need to go die for it?” She stared at him in the rearview mirror.

Josh leaned into him. “Just don’t let fear make the decision for you.”

“I’m not afraid,” Tyler said defensively.

Nadia snorted from the front seat. “Please. You’re terrified. And you should be. Your heart exploded on live television in front of a billion people.” She threw up her hands and smacked the wheel in exasperation. “They got you going on camera tonight in Vegas so they can pretend you’re invulnerable.”

Tyler scowled at the rearview mirror.

“You do what you need. You’re going to make the right choice,” Josh added gently. “Closure is worth it.”

“Maybe.” Tyler tucked his chin over Josh’s head and sighed. “I wish you could come with me.”

“Me too.” Josh took a deep breath of his shirt, trying to memorize the scent of him. “But we’ll figure this out, okay? It’s only for a little while.”

Nadia glanced back at them, then again in the mirror, her expression softening. “Distance sucks, but you deal.”

“Deal.” Tyler chuckled and nodded above Josh. “Agree.” She didn’t know that deal had become a kind of code word between them. She wasn’t wrong.

“And for God’s sake, don’t get all macho and stupid. And that goes for both of you.” Nadia glanced to the side and changed lanes. “Just listen. Set expectations. Tell the truth. Don’t let stuff fester. Make time.”

Josh nodded, trying to take her advice to heart. But his own fears still gnawed at him.

The drive turned out longer and shorter than he’d expected. Tyler got confirmation of his Vegas car service on the other end, and he showed the screen to Josh as if proving he was taken care of, that everything would be okay. As Josh watched, another chime as someone named “SwellsJim” texted the name and number of the assistant the team had assigned to get him situated upon arrival.

Tyler turned to him. “I gave them your info just in case. Emergency contact. I hope that’s okay. They had Nadia, but they need to be able to reach you.”

“Of course.” He nodded. “Thanks.” In some office, an NFL secretary had typed in his number and done a Google search to file his basic details under “boyfriend.”

Some weak and sneaky part of Josh wanted to make a scene or beg him to stay. As off balance as Tyler seemed, all it would take was a nudge.

Except ultimatums could backfire.

Another chime on Tyler’s phone announced a dinner reservation had been made for him at a steakhouse and a new suit would be delivered especially for the press thing.

“Easy on the red meat.” Josh squeezed his big knee. “At least they’re trying to take care of you.”

Nadia was less impressed. “They better. As much money as you make them.”

Tyler stared out the window, still holding Josh close. “It’s just a press thing and some stills. Then I’ll go sit in the box with the owners. Dinner with the wives. Easy. The worst part is having to watch the game without getting on the field.”

Eventually, Nadia exited the freeway and followed the feeder onto a grid of streets that looked like an industrial park. Overhead, the dull roar of a plane confirmed they weren’t far now.

A sign indicated they should shift to the left two lanes. The airport loomed ahead, and dread pooled in Josh’s stomach. He wasn’t ready to let Tyler go.

As they took the long, banked curve toward the terminal, Josh gave up on stupid what-ifs and just tried to memorize each detail of Tyler pressed beside him for later. The cars started to bunch up as they approached the terminal, but Nadia kept to the outside lanes, peering ahead as she navigated the traffic.

Even from a couple hundred yards away, Josh could see the swarm of people near the terminal doors.

From up front, Nadia grunted. “Told you.”

“Sorry, gang.” Tyler craned to see. “One of the Swells press reps must have leaked it for the bump. I’m not even flying commercial.”

Sure enough, the drop-off lane was deadlocked, an ugly crush of legitimate passengers trying to get past news vans and the scrum of reporters and their crews.

“Holy crap.” Josh’s pulse quickened.

Nadia scanned the crowd but kept on moving. “Everybody wants to get their hands on America’s Tightest End.”

On the curb, paparazzi and a couple of reporters jostled for position, cameras at the ready. Passengers shoved past them, but the TV crews shoved back.

Beside Josh, Tyler’s whole body tensed. “Here we go,” he muttered.

Josh gave his big hand one last squeeze. It was time to say goodbye. The next time they were this close, everything would be different.

“I don’t believe it. You see?” Tyler tapped on the window and leaned toward the front seat. He pointed at a bright red head among the crush of press waiting to ambush them. “Cilla Miller.”

Nadia nodded. “The better to eat you, my dear.”

Josh craned to see. “It sure is. Isn’t this out of her way?”

“Absolutely. From San Diego? An hour at least.” He glowered. “She’s an associate. She doesn’t even have a producer yet. How did she get herself here?”

“Ambition.” Josh shrugged. “She drove.”

“But someone must have tipped her off.” Tyler wiped his face and sat back. “She’s nobody.”

“Everybody is nobody.” Josh gave him a rueful look. “Until they’re not.”

The driver behind them leaned impatiently on the horn, and Nadia yanked the wheel left, changing lanes with no warning. Other horns joined in.

Tyler’s stoic mask cracked as he scanned the chaotic scene. “I can’t do this. Not like this.”

Nadia kept driving, peering ahead for an opening in the press scrum. “You do if you plan to get on that plane, bro.”

“Nadia’s right,” Josh said gently. “We’ll figure it out.”

Tyler dragged a hand over his face. For a second, real panic flashed in his eyes, the same raw dread consuming Josh.

Nadia craned her neck, searching for a way through. “I could loop around. Maybe there’s an access road.”

“Could be.” Josh nodded. “Worth a shot.”

Again, Nadia swung the wheel hard, and they looped back around toward the cell phone waiting lot. Other passengers honked and shouted as she cut them off.

“Sorry, folks, emergency!” Nadia called out the window. “My brother’s having a baby.”

Tyler barked a harsh laugh and fiercely gripped Josh’s hand. “Who is better than you two?”

The U-turn took them back past the long-term parking. Nadia drove slowly through the waiting lot, squinting toward the gates. “Don’t see another way in.”

“At least not one that doesn’t throw you to the sharks.” Josh racked his brain. Maybe they could get him onto some kind of airport tram? If Tyler showed in the front now, it would be a total circus.

Tyler turned to them both. “I’m open to ideas.”

“We disguise you,” Nadia suggested. “Hat, glasses. Maintenance uniform.”

“I’m six foot five, 257 pounds at present.” Tyler gave her a skeptical squint.

“And gorgeous. He’s one of the most famous faces in America,” Josh agreed. “They’d be able to see you from orbit.”

“Plus good luck finding a uniform.” Nadia glanced out the window. “Just a thought.”

Josh said, “Too bad we can’t smuggle you aboard. Like Dracula.”

“In a coffin?” Nadia giggled at that. “Can you imagine? What an entrance.”

“Wait.” Tyler grinned then. An actual real smile spread across his face, and he shook his head as though he’d woken up from a crazy nightmare. “Buckingham.”

Josh gestured at him to continue. “What?”

“Trust me.” Laughing, he squeezed Josh’s hand and kissed their laced knuckles. “How does D’Artagnan reach Buckingham?”

“Tyler,” Nadia demanded.

“I got it.” Tyler smirked, some of his old swagger flickering in his eyes. “I got to do… what I do.”

Nadia sounded unconvinced. “I don’t get it.”

Tyler turned to Josh, eyes glinting. “You two need to dump me at the nearest loading dock. I’ll take it from there.”

“Buckle up, boys.” Without any further discussion. Nadia started driving against the traffic, barreling into areas marked Private and swerving left where the arrows pointed right.

She nosed around corners and raced past offices until they pulled into a loading area on the far side of the terminal. She swung the car into an empty spot marked Employees Only, hiding them behind a couple of cargo vans.

She turned the engine off and they sat, catching their breath while the engine ticked in protest. “Well, that was entertaining. Have you missed your flight yet?” She sounded hopeful.

Tyler frowned. “Stop it. No. Private jets wait.”

Josh said, “You’re not going to miss the flight.”

“I’m going to miss this.” Tyler considered him a moment and blinked softly.

Nadia groaned and hauled herself out of the car.

Tyler climbed out himself, peering around the corner of a cargo van.

A scruffy young man in a reflective vest drove their way on a big luggage cart, almost like an ATV, with six wheels and a separate open-topped trailer, which was stacked with even more luggage.

Tyler turned to Josh and Nadia. “Stay put for a second. I got this.”

The handler guy pulled to a stop at the dock and climbed out, shuffling around to the trailer without any hurry.

Before Josh could protest, Tyler slid out of hiding and strode over with a superstar grin. “Hey, brother. Mind giving me a hand with something?”

Warily, the luggage handler looked up.

Tyler flashed his most disarming smile. “I’m in kind of a jam.” He started to say something in a low voice until the scruffy man’s eyes went wide and his face blanched.

The baggage handler fell back a step in surprise. “No way, you’re… Tyler Fantana? Number eighty-six. My grandpa loves you! I love you. My whole family loves you. Not in like a weird way, but— Wow. I can’t believe….”

“That’s very kind, Dale.” Tyler squinted at the name tag on the guy’s chest. “Your name is Dale?”

“You know my name. Oh, wow. My girlfriend ain’t going to believe this.”

Tyler pointed at the tag, but Dale wasn’t making a lot of sense.

The kid grinned, awestruck. “I swear, this is the greatest day.”

Tyler held out his hand and shook Dale’s firmly. “I’m really happy to meet you, Dale. And I could use your help with a small problem.” Then Tyler’s voice got quiet again as he leaned in and muttered.

Josh started to step out toward them, but Nadia touched his arm and shook her head. “Give him a second.”

“Is this something he does?”

“Not exactly, but he’s got this way with people.” She tilted her head, watching.

Josh sighed and smiled at Tyler working his magic over there. “He does.”

From the body language and the luggage handler’s expression, whatever Tyler had said had made the guy nervous.

Dale glanced around with wide eyes before he spoke up. “I don’t know, man. If my union found out, I could get in all kinds of trouble.”

“I would never let that happen. You’d be saving my ass,” Tyler promised. “Tell you what. If you can help me out, I’ll make sure you get an autographed football and a jersey.”

Dale’s face lit up. “Yeah?”

“Are you kidding?” Tyler clapped his shoulder. “I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me nothing.” Dale nodded, hustling back to the driver’s seat of the large luggage cart. “Tyler flippin’ Fantana, man.”

Tyler beckoned surreptitiously to Josh and Nadia. “All set.”

Josh’s throat tightened. This was really happening. He hadn’t expected to feel this terrified.

“Dale, this is my sister, and this is my boyfriend.”

Josh and Nadia raised their hands, and Dale waved back. “So cool, huh? This is so cool. You’re so effing cool! I got to call my granddad.”

“I need to get—” Tyler looked at his sister. “Back in a sec.”

He turned to Josh, clasping his hand tightly. “Walk with me?”

Josh did. Tyler led them back to the car.

They moved slowly toward the cargo vans and Nadia’s hidden car, the rumble of planes in the distance underscoring each step. Josh tried to memorize the exact shape of Tyler’s grip, the slight brush of his shoulder, the sweet crinkle of his eyes.

Tyler popped open the door, pulled out his big duffel, and plopped it on the roof before he stopped and looked at Josh. He gave a big sigh.

Josh steeled himself and stepped even closer.

“I don’t uh… I’m not sure I’m going to be able to say what I need to, so I need you to just assume that I said all the things I should have.”

Josh nodded, not trusting his own voice.

“I love you, Joshua Ayres.” His voice broke then. He blinked, bent, and kissed Josh firmly on the mouth, holding their lips together for a long breath. “Every bone in my body, every beat of my heart is just me loving you.”

Josh wiped his eyes. “Me too.”

“I still don’t know just how you did it, but you put my busted ass back together. You got my heart beating right for once. I can do this. I promise.”

“I know you can.” He pressed a hand to Tyler’s chest.

“We can. You’re not allowed to worry about me, okay? I’m a cinder block. I’m a boot. These dummies can’t even chip my paint.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Josh nodded. “And if you need me there, you better say. I just don’t want to get in your way.”

“We’ll make this work.” Tyler drew back, eyes shining. “I promise.”

Josh kissed him then, a slow, soft brushing of their mouths that lasted as long as he could make it. He savored the scratch of Tyler’s cheek and the adamant solidity of his body. “Awful.”

Tyler nodded. “Worse.”

He looked up. “I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what it costs, you come back the second you can. You call me the minute you want. Day or night. Anything, anywhere. I can get anyplace you need me to be.”

“Trust me—” He held up his big index finger and dragged a cross over his heart. “—X marks the spot.”

Josh nodded.

“Okay, then.” With another tight squeeze, Tyler walked back to Nadia and Dale and his cart. He raised his voice to them. “All set?”

Dale beamed at him. He lifted Tyler’s bag onto the edge of the trailer but didn’t slide it into place. “We’re golden, Mr. Fantana.”

“Tyler.” He shook the guy’s hand with firm gratitude. “Anyone who saves my life and protects my family calls me Tyler.” He winked and walked to the back of the trailer.

“Thanks”—Dale blushed and climbed back into the driver’s seat—“uhh, Tyler.”

“Don’t get stupid.” Nadia looked up at her brother and nodded. He nodded back. “If you let them hurt you again, I’m going to drag my butt to San Diego and do something nasty to those pricks. I mean really gross. I’ll make Josh help, and we’ll both end up in real jail.”

Tyler hugged her and kissed the top of her head. “Take care, huh? And tell Poops I’m sorry I ran off like this.”

Nadia’s face got tight, but she didn’t cry.

Tyler gave her a tentative boyish smile, then turned to Josh. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t be.” Stepping to the back of the cart, Josh pulled Tyler into a fierce embrace. “Just remember,” he murmured. “Promise me.”

Tyler held him, rocking slightly, and kissed his forehead. “No choice. Best thing in my life.”

Overwhelmed, Josh could only nod. They leaned together for one last searing kiss, a silent vow passing between them.

“I’ll call tonight. After.” Tyler hopped up onto the trailer, climbed past the piled luggage, and sat down in the empty center space. He propped up the duffel to hide himself from any prying eyes. The cart and trailer just looked like a heap of luggage bound for no place in particular. From underneath it all, Tyler’s muffled voice said, “All set, Dale.”

“You guys take care.” Dale waved, and just like that, the trailer lurched forward and sped off, smuggling Tyler to his plane, hidden by suitcases.

Josh watched until they disappeared, a hollow ache in his chest.

Nadia touched his arm. “Let’s get you home.”

Numb, Josh let her guide him back to the car. The road ahead seemed so much longer without Tyler beside him. But he knew they’d take it one step at a time.

Josh climbed into the passenger seat, feeling unmoored and adrift as Nadia started the engine.

“He’ll be okay,” she said, her voice firm despite the sheen in her eyes. “We’ll make sure of it. You run each morning and sleep every night like he’s there. And keep telling him the truth.”

Josh just nodded, staring out at the acres of concrete and the tarmac beyond the fence. In his mind, he could still see Tyler’s jaunty smile surrounded by heaped luggage, could still feel the press of Tyler’s lips.

“I speak from experience. You cannot protect Tyler,” Nadia continued as she pulled out of the airport. “He always figures it out for himself. Solves the thing. Proves the point. Needs to know if he can do it. Otherwise he’ll always wonder until it drives him crazy.”

Like taking his father’s belt away.He’d fight the whole world to make things right.

“I know.” Josh looked at his lap. Tyler had seemed so hopeful and determined when they first arrived at the airport. Now Josh wasn’t sure if Tyler had been trying to convince himself or Josh. “Thank you for driving. I wouldn’t have been able—”

“Of course.”

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Nadia spoke again. “You’re coming over for dinner tonight. I could use the company, and you could use the practice. Tyler says you can almost boil an egg.”

Josh managed a small smile. “Yeah. That’d be nice.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.

As they turned onto the feeder leading back to the freeway, Josh stared ahead.

He couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding that had settled over him.

What if it was too much, too soon? What if Tyler got hurt again? What if the distance and scrutiny tore them apart?

Josh glanced over at Nadia. Her jaw was set, eyes fixed on the road. She was probably more worried than he was.

He thought back to their childhood, their father and the abuse that had shaped so much of Tyler’s anger. Josh imagined that’s where Nadia’s protective streak came from. She’d spent so many years anxious for her fearless big brother.

Josh felt a swell of gratitude for her. She’d always been a wonderful friend, but knowing her better made him admire her in a different way. She was like wild roses, prickly if you messed with her and growing where she wanted. However blunt her manner, he knew she cared fiercely for Tyler, just as he did. He gave her hand another squeeze. “Thanks.”

She looked up at the rearview and abruptly changed lanes. “I still don’t understand who Buckingham is.”

He chuckled. “We’ll get through this,” he said softly.

“Don’t doubt that.” Nadia’s eyes flickered to his, and she held his gaze for a moment before returning to the long concrete arc before them. “Only thing I ever learned about football. Best defense is offense.”

The sky dimmed and purpled as they took the exit for Cinnamar, making the turns toward the Fantana house. Streetlights flickered on, casting a ghosty glow.

“You good with white wine?” Nadia put on her blinker. “I’m thinking stir-fry. Or maybe mac and cheese. Plus I’ve got cupcakes and gin. We could watch something dumb.”

“Perfect.” Josh took a deep breath, swamped by gratitude. He didn’t know what lay ahead, but tonight, at least, he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts.