5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

“You really think that. Don’t you? That I fucked that Becky bitch. Never touched her. Gave her a lift, and that was it. Didn’t even walk her to her door. Hand to God if she told you anything different, then she lied.”

I stare at Seth, wanting more than anything to believe him. He’s right. I assumed. I stopped talking to Becky after that night. I withdrew from everyone, and no one cared enough to reach out. Not even him. He did what he’s good at and disappeared.

“It’s getting late. I work in the morning.”

“I don’t want you to go, Lottie.” The way he says my name still influences me. The deep and throaty tone travels straight between my thighs.

Being here with him is dangerous. It’s easy to forget that he broke my heart not once, but twice. All I wanted was to be his and now here we are years later. Nothing stands between us. But I can’t allow myself to fall again. I can’t go through losing him again. The last time, coupled with the loss of my mother, nearly killed me. I worked hard to claw myself out of that hole.

“I never should have come.”

His brow crinkles. “Why did you?” The hurt in his voice isn’t lost on me.

“Old habit.” I shrug. “Curiosity.”

“Alright, beautiful,” he tells me, letting out a sigh that echoes with defeat. “Are you good to drive yourself?”

“Mhmm.” I nod, avoiding the heartbreak evident in his eyes. Part of me wants him to beg me to stay. I know he won’t. Creed isn’t the type to beg. He’s never had a problem letting me go or walking away. Tonight shouldn’t be any different.

My hands tremble as I push up from my chair. I glance back at him one last time as he knocks back the rest of his beer. I offer him a faint smile and step into the chilly night air, sucking in a deep shuddering breath, begging myself not to cry.

I didn’t think seeing him again would be this hard.

Not after all this time.

That’s a lie.

I knew it would be, but I thought I’d at least be over the loss of him.

Now that I’ve breathed him in once more, the sting is just as bitter and harsh as it ever was.

The door slams shut behind me, muffling the music as I hurry toward my car, leaving Tonya here with Ghoul. They went off somewhere as soon as we arrived. I’ll return her dress next time I see her at work.

I’ve gotta get out of here before I do something I’ll regret.

Seth Creed once was my entire world. I tailored my entire existence around him and he’s back like a ghost from the past. A reminder that I was never good enough for him or anyone. He didn’t want me then. Why would he want me now?

Only once I’m in the privacy of my car do I allow the dam of emotions to break as tears stream down my face. I never thought of all people I’d bump into tonight that Seth would be one of them.

He’s back and every bit as tempting and dangerous as he ever was.

Driving away from the clubhouse, from Creed, the road is as dark and empty as my hollow heart. Regret washes over me. An overwhelming sadness for all the things I didn’t have the courage to say plague me. I grip the steering wheel so tightly my fingers ache as deeply as my soul.

After all this time, the chemistry between us is undeniable. My former stepbrother is everything I remember. A deadly combination of equal parts charming, handsome, and dangerous.

Lethal to my heart.

A man who makes me lose all control of my senses.

I keep seeing his devilish smirk throughout my drive .

Was he telling the truth about Becky?

Was he serious about missing me, or was he hoping to get laid?

Driving down my street, my apartment building coming into view is a comforting sight.

There’s nothing better than the safety of home. My apartment is my sanctuary. I splurged on my bed and am still paying off the expensive mattress I purchased with one of those in-store credit cards. I deserve it. I work hard and a girl has to treat herself sometimes.

I wipe away my tears and grab my bag from work that has my clothes in it and juggle my shoes and keys. A shiver passes through me and that creepy sensation like I’m being watched captures my attention. I dash toward the building, cursing myself for never putting that bear spray on my key ring. I forgot to leave my outdoor light on, but thankfully the low glow of orange radiating from my neighbor’s doorway across the hall is enough to illuminate my welcome mat.

Hurriedly, I unlock my door, dropping my work shoes in the process. Ugh. If I was in a horror movie, the killer would have captured me by now. I debate leaving my shoes where they lay, but knowing my luck, someone would steal them. My next investment should be one of those doorbell security cameras.

Once inside, I kick my shoes off and dump my belongings on one of the breakfast stools. I don’t bother to switch any lights on. My apartment is a small one bedroom, one bathroom unit with an open kitchen and living room. I pad down to the short hallway to my bedroom and shimmy out of Tonya’s dress. The smart choice would be to crawl into my bed and get some sleep, but with the way my thoughts are racing, I’ll never be able to get comfortable. I slip into my pajamas and return to the kitchen and one of my worst habits.

Eating my feelings in the form of cookies and drowning my sorrows with milk. With every bite and swallow, I attempt to chase away thoughts of how Seth’s hands felt on me and how his scent was all too familiar. Woodsy and smoky. The timber of his voice when he spoke my name. Deep and gravelly. Sexy. The way he looked at me like I was still his favorite girl. Like maybe he might love me still if he ever did.

I plop down in my oversized chair that takes up more than half of my living room and reach for the remote to my television. Since I’m not getting any sleep anytime soon, I may as well find something to watch to distract me from thinking about the past, but especially him. Flipping through the channels, I’m sensing a pattern. Romantic movies and shows seem to taunt me. A reality show titled A second Chance with my Ex. A Christmas commercial from a jewelry store when it’s not even Halloween, with the tagline ‘Every Kiss Begins with Kay.’

I roll my eyes and switch the tv off. Noise from the nearby freeway sounds particularly loud tonight. Even the sound of commercial trucks can’t drown out my thoughts. Chill bumps fan along my arms, and I get up to turn my ceiling fan off, only to notice that it’s not on.

I rub my arms, check the thermostat, then I look at my sliding glass door, noticing that it’s slightly ajar. That’s strange. I always keep it closed. I don’t always lock it because I’m on the seventh floor and only a crazy person would try to climb the rickety fire escape. The building I live in is old as dirt, but the units have some modern updates with newer flooring and midlevel appliances.

We don’t have security or anything like that, although this has always been a relatively safe place to live. I’m still creeped out by the idea of someone being here in my personal space, rifling through my things or worse. Waiting for me.

I close the door and lock it.

I know I’m being ridiculous, but I do a quick sweep of every room to make sure nothing is out of place. Surely if someone were in here with me, I’d spotted them when I changed clothes?

Nothing seems amiss in the kitchen outside of my milk and cookie mess on the counter, but the slithering sensation of unease bubbling in the pit of my stomach refuses to dissipate. My imagination is in overdrive. Morphing shadows into grotesque shapes on the walls and making every creak of the old building sound like a footstep.

I return to my room and go as far as checking under my bed and in my closet, growing increasingly irritated with my silly paranoia. This is why I don’t watch scary movies. I get scared by them way too easily.

The last place left to check is my bathroom. It would be my luck that some psycho is hiding behind my shower curtain waiting to jump out and grab me like in some slasher flick. My hand trembles as I reach for the curtain and muster an ounce of dignity by not peeing my pants as I yank it back.

Empty, save my body wash and shampoo.

I laugh to myself as the adrenaline coursing through my veins wains.

Satisfied that I’m alone and merely delusional, I go to my bedroom and pull my crumpled sheets and blanket back. I just need to forget this whole day ever happened.

But I especially need to forget all about Seth Creed.

His dark eyes.

Rough hands.

Inked skin.

His image is conjured to life the moment I close my eyes.

All brutal and savage.

A rough and tumble biker whom I should avoid at any and all costs. That’s what my brain tells me. My heart, however. My stupid, stupid heart still carries a torch for him that shines brighter than the brightest stars.

Rolling to my side, I stare out my bedroom window, wondering if he’s still thinking of me. I slide an arm under my pillow and touch something cold and freeze. My pulse spikes as I wrap a fist around what feels like something small and metal.

Sitting up, I flick on the lamp on my nightstand, knocking the book I’ve been reading onto the floor with a heavy thud. I open my palm, discovering a single bullet. The reality that someone has invaded my home not only chills me to the bone, it terrifies me.

Is this a sick joke?

I turn the metal over between my fingers, noticing one side feels rougher than the rest.

There’s an X etched there.

Bile churns in the pit of my stomach.

This isn’t funny.

I feel violated.

Is whoever left this here watching me now?

I’m never getting any sleep tonight.

Sleep finally claimed me around four in the morning. Three hours before my shift was set to start. I never call in but today I’m taking the day off to buy security cameras that I can’t afford but desperately need after last night.

I don’t know what kind of game someone is trying to play with me, but I’m not taking any chances. I called management and asked to have my locks changed. I should have done it the second Cade skipped out on me. Would he have stuck the bullet under my pillow?

I don’t know why he would do something so cruel and fucked up, but who else could it have been?

Seth had no idea I was even in the area, until last night, and he’d have no reason to screw with me. Not like this.

I’m seriously freaked out.

Before exiting my apartment, I check the peephole three times to make sure someone isn’t waiting outside of my door. When I get to my car, I scan the parking lot for suspicious people and vehicles, then check my backseat and the trunk.

Calling the police would be useless. They have more important things to focus their efforts on. If I tell Seth, he’ll go all macho on me, and I’m not sure if I’m prepared for that. He can be pretty intense without even trying.

I don’t even get backed out of my parking space before my boss is calling me back and begging me to come in. Apparently, Cher called out right after I did. Both her boys have the flu. I’m too much of a people pleaser because I give in. I can get the security system after I get off, I suppose.

I glance down at my phone, at the new text from Tonya, wanting to know what I think of Ghouls’ friend.

If she only knew his friend is Seth Creed, my former step brother I share a complicated past with.

I’ll tell you later.

I send my response and grab the breakfast platters for table seven.

At least work has been a busy and welcomed distraction from the events of last night.

I manage to go through the motions, serving tables, refilling coffee mugs, and flashing courteous smiles. Every so often, when my guard is down, my mind drifts back to Seth. His deep, growly voice echoes in my ears. His rough and possessive touch lingers on my skin. His woodsy and masculine scent... it’s everywhere, as if he’s here with me. I swear our new busser, Chris, must be wearing the same cologne as him or every man in this greasy joint is. If not, I’ve truly lost it and am smelling phantom scents.

That’s the worst part of working here. Always smelling a deep fryer. It’s damn hard to get the scent of grease out of my hair.

A burst of laughter from one table yanks me back to my existence outside of my thoughts. It’s a group of college guys who are probably nursing their morning hangovers with black coffee and toast. I force a smile and head over to check on them.

“Can I get anyone a refill?”

One of them gets a bit ballsy and asks for my number. It’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m used to the forwardness of some of the flirtier truckers we get. I let him down gently and refill their coffees, hoping they will still leave a tip.

My mind drifts back to the bullet I found under my pillow and now every customer and every sound seems suspect and out of place. I’m jumpy and making avoidable mistakes like writing order downs wrong. Spilling drinks.

As soon as I get the chance, I slip into the kitchen for a breather. I lean against the cool stainless-steel counter, closing my eyes as I try to steady my racing thoughts. How did that bullet end up at my place? Was it a warning from Cade? Or was a stranger trying to send some sort of message? Did they get the wrong apartment? But why would someone want my neighbor dead? George is the sweetest man who always gives out full size candy to trick or treaters. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.

The swinging kitchen doors creak open, and I sigh a breath of relief. It’s only Chris, our server’s assistant in training.

“Some dude is asking for you,” he tells me.

A new intense surge of anxiety grips me, rooting me in place. The last thing I need is another surprise. I start to ask Chris what the guy looks like, but he’s already back to work. I shake off the nerves and strut into the dining area like I don’t have a care in the world. I’m taken aback when I see him.

What’s he doing here and how did he know I’d be here?

Seth Creed’’s in my section, kicking back in the booth, appearing totally relaxed like he does this all the time. His gorgeous green eyes that never fail to take my breath away are focused on me. A strange sense of calm washes over me as our gazes meet. Then he smiles that dimpled smile of his, and my heart skips a beat.

Slowly, I close the distance separating us, trying not to let his presence get to me. As I approach the table, he smiles wider.

“Hey, hellcat.”