4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

“We’re done.” Lottie throws me her sass. Used to, her bitchy attitude rubbed me wrong. Tonight though, I’m finding that attitude of hers hella sexy.

“Come back to the clubhouse. Have a drink with me.” I thought I’d worked her out of my system years ago but seeing her face to face. Nah. All those old wounds are still fresh.

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“What else are you going to do?”

“Get a good night’s sleep.”

“One drink, hellcat.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid you might have a good time?”

Her pretty blues roll heavenward. “What’s the point? We’re not friends. Hell, I’m not sure if you even like me. We’re strangers now, you and me.”

“Been years, Lottie. I’m sure we’ve both changed.” She’s certainly changed physically. Not that she needed to. Even when she had some weight on her, she was just as beautiful. She was my greatest temptation. My heaven and hell. I wanted her but couldn’t have her. Not in the way I wanted back then.

She blows out an exasperated laugh. A soft but sweet noise that warms me in places, the honeyed sound shouldn’t after all this time has passed. “Fine. One drink.”

There’s no way she’s climbing on the back of my bike with that slip of a dress she’s wearing. For one, it wouldn’t be safe. Second, I don’t want her flashing her ass to everyone.

“Bring your friend. She knows the way.”

What the fuck am I doing? Am I really flirting with Charlotte? The girl I’ve loved to hate.

No one knows her better than I do. I don’t care if it’s been ten years since we fucked each other over. I had to walk away. I was nineteen, and she was only sixteen at the time. Everything about the two of us was wrong.

But that was then, and this is now.

I watch her as she saunters over to her friend, swaying her hips, having no damn clue how good she looks doing it. I must be losing my goddamned mind. This is a terrible idea. Nothing good will come from this. She’s always been off limits and too damn good for me. So why does that make me crave her? Want to consume her. Act out every filthy fantasy playing through my mind each time I stare into her big blue eyes. What I wouldn’t give to taste her forbidden lips once more. My blood rises to the surface as she laughs at something Havoc just said to her.

Her gaze meets mine and her cheeks bloom a pale shade of pink.

Lottie is the one who got away. I’ve told myself it was for the best, but now I’m not so sure.

At the clubhouse, Lottie sits next to me. Eyes downcast, she grips the neck of her beer bottle, doing her best to avoid having any close contact with me. When she looks at me, it’s almost as if she’s afraid I’m going to disappear. Does she feel the electric current pulsing all around us?

I can’t explain it. This instant attraction. This urge to claim her. To protect her. To make her mine. To go back in time and take back every mistake if it meant getting a do over with her.

This primal instinct to throw her down right here and claim her as mine in front of the club consumes my thoughts.

There was a time when she was all I ever wanted.

Desperate to make sense of the hectic and feral stream of emotions churning inside me, I keep stealing glances at her, wondering if she’s a witch who’s put a spell on me.

Does she have any idea how much I’ve missed her?

How deeply I crave her touch?

She will hardly look at me and it’s killing me. There’s so much that has been left unsaid between us. It’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to give into these impulsive thoughts.

I ground myself by focusing on one thing in the room. The noise.

Classic rock hums through the sound system coupled with the noise of pool balls clacking against each other occupy her attention while the awkward silence stretching between us fills mine. The surrounding air is tense and heavy. Thick enough to cut with the blade of my pocket knife.

Henley strums along on his guitar, matching the chords to Hotel California as Darlene watches him dreamily, hoping he’ll rail her tonight.

Twilah Jane and Kitty keep looking over at us from the bar. It’s not like me to bring anyone to the clubhouse. At least not on display like this.

“Why am I here?” Lottie finally breaks the silence.

“To have a drink with me.”

She shoots me an exasperated expression, lifting her brows. “Why am I really here? ”

I’d be skeptical too if I were her. After the way I treated her back then. I should have handled her with more care. “I fucked up. Back then. You needed me and I wasn’t there for you.”

“We seriously do not have to talk about it.”

I peel the corners of the label on my long neck. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” She angles toward me. “Turning me down and hooking up with my best friend instead?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Ha.” She slaps a palm down on the table in challenge. “It was exactly like that.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“If this is your way of apologizing, you could use some work.”

“All right. I’m sorry for being such an asshole. Becky had great tits, though.”

“I hate you.” She shoves against me.

“No, you don’t.”

“All men suck.”

“Not all.” I take a hard drink.

“Name me one good guy.”

“Tyrant.”

She snorts. “Yeah okay.”

“I’m being serious. You should see him with his ol’ lady and kid.”

“He’s a father? ”

“Well, Gracie Joy is Blair’s kid from the guy she was with. Her ex was a real piece of work.” I dive into the story about Tyrant picking up Blair on his way to Vegas when she was hitchhiking and what crazy religious fanatics his group of followers were. Fucking cult.

“Hearing that.” She shakes her head slightly. Her dark hair falls around her shoulders in silky waves I want to run my fingers through. “Cade doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Who the fuck is Cade?”

“Easy, killer. No one you need to concern yourself with.”

“Did he fuck you over?”

“More like he ghosted me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Smooth. Too bad that shit doesn’t work on me. You forget I know you and have watched you run game too many times.”

“I’m not fucking with you or playing games. I wouldn’t do that. Not with you.”

“I may not have been present in your life these past ten years, but I guarantee you’ve not been a choirboy.”

“Never claimed that.”

“Just admit it. You’re a total player.”

“You think I’d fuck you over?”

“Why are we even talking about this? I don’t even know why I’m here. I should go. ”

“You just got here. Stay.” I squeeze her upper thigh. “How have you been? Ghosting douche bags aside. Of course.”

She glances down at my possessive grip on her bare thigh and clears her throat. “Like I said. I should get home.”

“Not so fast, beautiful.” Loosening my grip on her thigh, I realize how uncomfortable she might be with my intimate touch. It’s been ten years. I doubt she’s still harboring a crush on me. Not after all these years. I finish my beer and signal Asphalt to bring me another round.

Lottie pulls back, creating too much distance between us for my liking. Her piercing blue eyes study me like she’s reading her favorite book. “I see you’re still hardheaded.”

“No doubt.” I grin as Asphalt replaces my empty bottle with a full one.

Mimicking my earlier action, she picks at the label on her own beer. “What do you really want, Seth?”

“Call me Creed when we’re at the clubhouse.”

“All right, Creed,” her voice softens, and my road name rolls off her tongue, smooth as a good whiskey. “What do you want from me?”

“Why do I have to want something?”

“One, you’re you. Two, you’ve not bothered to look me up all this time.”

“Maybe I’ve missed you.”

“Why? It doesn’t look like you have a shortage of groupies.”

“Careful. Almost sounds as if you’re jealous. ”

“Learned that lesson once. I’m not looking to repeat past mistakes.”

“What makes you think we’d be a mistake?”

She lets out a long huff. “Gee, Creed. I don’t know. Want me to write you a list?” Her voice is laced with the bitterness of the memories she holds of the Becky situation and those that came before her. “Why would this time be any different for you than all the rest? Why would you treat me any differently than anyone else?”

“I’m older and wiser. People do change, Charlotte.”

“Don’t call me that. You sound like your father and it’s too weird.”

“Never compare me to that bastard.”

“You know what I meant. Besides, you should know better than anyone that people never change. They simply get better at hiding their true nature. My mother had no idea your father was an alcoholic before it was nearly too late.”

She’s got me there, but she’s wrong. We aren’t our parents. I’m nothing like my old man. The tension between us pulls tight, like a wire about to snap. I’ve changed.

“I’m not my old man. I’d never be reckless with your heart.”

She sputters, and nearly spits out her beer, getting choked. “Slow down and dial things back a notch. ”

“Look, you’ve got no reason to trust me. I’ve always lived in the moment and that’s all I have ever offered in the past. I get that.”

“You don’t even know me. Sure, you knew the old me. The na?ve girl with stars in her eyes who thought fairytales were real.”

“I’d give you the fairytale if you’d let me.”

“Just like that.” She snaps her fingers. “You think it would be that easy? After all this time, I’m supposed to fall into your arms and swoon. Life doesn’t work that way.”

“I know I hurt you, but you weren’t innocent in the shit that went down between us.”

“I never fucked your friends, Creed.”