Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

A fter a fitful night of unrest—where she cursed Del, her grandmother, and herself—Cassie rose with the strict intention of doing nothing with the day but wallowing. Unfortunately, an early morning text from Charlie reminded her they had appointments at two wedding dress shops in Denver. Wishing she could cancel—but knowing if she did, it would look suspicious—she dragged herself out of bed and threw on some sweats.

She didn't have to look good. She was going to be taking clothes off and on all day. Sweats were just easier. That's what she told herself. Truthfully, she didn't have the energy to put on anything else. Last night's argument with Del kept playing over and over in her head. She couldn't stop the swirling churn of fear and sadness in the pit of her stomach. She and Del had bickered over the years, but good-naturedly, teasing. There'd been nothing good about the heated words they exchanged the previous evening.

At least he still agreed to get married.

For some reason, the thought didn't make her feel any better. It didn't ease the hollow ache in her chest or the lump of emotion clogging her throat. His words kept echoing in her mind, haunting her. "This stopped being pretend a long time ago."

Grabbing a cup of coffee from the gas station on the way out of town—because she had zero energy to make her own today—she tried to put Del's words out of her mind. Charlie texted saying she'd stayed at her boyfriend's house in Denver last night, so she'd meet Cassie at the shop. Cassie didn't particularly care for the guy. In the five months he'd been dating her friend, Blain had gone through three jobs. They'd only hung out a few times, but in her opinion, the guy was rude, self-absorbed, and a giant douche. But Charlie seemed to like him, and that was all that mattered.

Apart from a few truckers and the occasional car, the highway into the city was clear. Cassie pulled into the first bridal shop exactly thirty-five minutes after she left town. She grabbed her purse, locked her car door, and headed inside.

"Hey, you. How was traffic?" Charlie glanced up from the magazine in her hands.

Cassie joined her friend on the plush, ivory sofa in the middle of the store. Dozens of dresses in various shades of white hung from racks, all around. Her eyes hurt from the lack of color in the place. Or maybe it was from all the crying she'd done last night.

"Not bad. How's Blain?"

Charlie grimaced, taking a deep sip from the flute of bubbly liquid in her hand. "We are not talking about that asshole today. Today is about you and finding the perfect dress that's going to knock my brother's socks off."

After yesterday, Cassie was pretty sure she could wear nothing at all and Del would still be fully clothed. He'd been pretty clear about that.

"What did Starkweather do?" Yes, that was the guy's actual last name, like some melodramatic evil villain. "Do I have to go kick his ass?"

Because she totally would, even if she couldn't throw a punch to save her life. She'd hire someone to beat the guy to a pulp. No one hurt her best friend.

Charlie slung an arm around her. Dark, fine, straight strands of hair Cassie had always envied brushing against her cheek as her friend laid a head on her shoulder. "You are so sweet, but I've seen you punch. I'd have more success if I hired a fifth grader to beat him up."

Harsh, but true.

"Besides, no asses need kicking. He's a jerk, and we're done. End of story."

Not end of story, but it didn't seem like her friend was open to discussing it now. Since she had a whole host of things she wasn't sharing with Charlie, Cassie decided to let it go.

A woman came over with a tray containing two glasses of what she assumed was champagne. Cassie gladly accepted one, while Charlie finished off her glass and grabbed for the other.

"Miss Brown?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful." The woman nodded to Charlie. "Your maid of honor said you would be arriving soon. My name is Lauren. We are so excited for your big day, and here at Blushing Brides, we strive to find that perfect dress for each and every one of our clients."

Tipping back her flute, Cassie gulped a very healthy portion of the—oh yummy, yes—champagne. She was going to need about six more of these to get through today.

"Now," Lauren continued, tucking the empty tray under her arm. "What style are you going for?"

"Style?"

"Yes. Long, short, vintage, modern, princess, mermaid-tail? Cream, ivory, eggshell? What does your heart desire?"

Delta Jackson.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Cassie banished the thought and pasted on a smile. "I think a classic cut in ivory, no-frills, something simple. We're having a small ceremony."

"Something intimate, family and friends?" Lauren asked.

Cassie nodded.

A genuine guise of concentration passed over Lauren's face. "I believe I know just the thing. I'll go pull a few dresses."

The woman turned and headed into the back. Cassie gulped down another swallow of champagne, the fizzy bubbly drink tickling her nose. The coffee she'd bought earlier still sat in her car, untouched—because gas station coffee was disgusting—and she hadn't eaten any breakfast, so the alcohol created a pleasant buzz in her head.

Charlie opened one of the bridal magazines sitting on the coffee table in front of them, pointing out different bridesmaid dresses. Cassie sipped her drink, trying to pay attention, but her mind still fixated on last night. Had she done the right thing? Yes, she had. Then why did it hurt so much? Ugh, she needed more booze. Downing the rest of her drink, she looked longingly at Charlie's half-full glass.

"Here we are." Lauren's cheerful return halted Cassie's mad grab for her friend's champagne.

"I'm sure we will find the perfect dress among these, but if not, I have a few other options in back."

"Could we get some more champagne?" Charlie asked.

"But of, course." Lauren gave a tight smile, then disappeared again.

"How did you know?"

Charlie gave her a dubious glance. "Oh come on. We've been friends for like, ever. I know your looks."

Raising a brow, she tilted her head. "And what did my look say just now?"

"It said, oh dear God, I need more alcohol right now, and I will shiv someone to get it! "

She wasn't sure she'd go that far, but her best friend did know her.

"I'm just…nervous is all." And sad, and angry, and confused…

"Uh, huh." Charlie nodded to the rack of dresses. "Start stripping."

Cassie shoved her friend playfully, but rose and made her way to the rolling hanger of white frocks. A lump caught in her throat as she fingered the silky material. Women were supposed to be happy while wedding dress shopping. One of the happiest days of their life, right? This whole thing was fake for her though. So why did it feel as though butterflies had taken up residence in her stomach?

Lauren came back with fresh champagne—thank God—and motioned to a small curtained off area. "You can change in there. We also have a small selection of shoes and a lovely array of jewelry if you would like."

"Thank you." She grabbed the first dress on the rack, heading behind the curtain to undress.

The next half hour was filled with champagne, changes, and laughter. Some of the dresses were hilarious, some pretty, but none were the one . Silly. She didn't need the one just a one . She simply needed a white dress. Why didn't she just pick one?

Slipping on the seventh dress from the rack, she smoothed down the silk, loving the soft feel of the material. The changing room didn't have a mirror, so when she stepped out she had no idea how the dress looked, but it felt wonderful. Not too tight, no itchy tulle or lace, but comfortable, like a second skin.

"Oh my God!" Charlie's muffled gasp made Cassie's head snap up. Her friend's eyes filled with tears, hand going to her heart. "That's the one."

Cassie turned to the triple full-length mirrors beside the changing room and sucked in a sharp breath. Oh yes, the one indeed. The soft silk wrapped around her body, hugging all the right places while still keeping an air of elegance. The strapless bodice kept her cleavage tasteful but alluring, and the bottom of the dress flared out just past her knees allowing her the freedom to move. The gown was beautiful, wonderful—

"Perfect," she muttered, and then to her utter horror, tears poured down her face. Not pretty, happy tears. Ugly, sobbing, wrenching tears.

"Oh, sweetie! What's wrong?"

Suddenly she was enveloped in Charlie's arms, and she couldn't stop the flood of emotions from escaping. The dress was perfect; everything had been perfect until she'd ruined it. Spoiled it all with her stupid fear.

"I'm in love with Del."

Charlie glanced at her, brow furrowed in confusion.

"I know. That's why you're getting married right?"

Drawing in a shuddering breath, she looked her friend directly in the eye. "No. Oh God, please don't hate me."

The woman who'd been like a sister to her for over a decade gave her a sympathetic smile. "I could never hate you. Now," she guided them both to the sofa, "sit down and tell me everything."

Dam now broken, Cassie unleashed the torrent of lies she and Del had been building for the past few weeks. Charlie sat, listening attentively, saying nothing. At one point, Lauren came back, but upon seeing them on the couch retreated tactfully, and Cassie noticed a moment later a large box of tissues appeared. Guess bridal breakdowns were common.

"Let me get this straight," Charlie spoke, once Cassie finished her story. "You and Del hatched a plan to get married so you could get your grandmother's house and he would get the start-up money for his restaurant, which I totally voted for by the way."

Of course she had, because Charlie was a smart cookie and knew a good investment when she saw it.

"But now you're saying you love my brother and he loves you?" Her friend shook her head. "I don't see the problem."

Of course she didn't, because she'd been surrounded by love her entire life. The Jackson family was like a real-life Sunday night sitcom.

"I do love Delta, but…"

"What?" One dark brow rose, blue eyes—the Jackson family eyes—narrowed. "You think my brother isn't good enough? Isn't smart enough?"

"Of course not! Delta is the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most wonderful man I've ever known."

A grin split Charlie's lips. "Oh geez, you do love him."

Knowing she'd been baited, Cassie frowned. "I do, but…how do you take a chance on love when it all can be taken away at a moment's notice?"

Love had been a rarity in her life. Deep down, a part of her feared she was unlovable.

"I don't know," Charlie replied. "I guess you just have to ask yourself if the risk is worth the reward. If having someone's love, no matter how brief it may be, is worth the pain and heartache that may come later."

But how did one know that?

"I'll share with you something my mother told me once," Charlie said.

Cassie leaned forward, eager to hear anything that might help her sort out her turbulent thoughts.

"Once, I asked my mom if being with Dad was worth it. If she really loved him when he spent so much time away."

Cassie's heart cracked.

"What did she say?"

Charlie grasped her hands, holding tight. "She said that loving Dad was easy. It was the anticipation of him being gone that hurt the most. The thought of him going on tour, dy-dying." Her friend's eyes filled with tears. "But she also said she wouldn't change anything. She told me every second she spent with my father filled her heart with enough love to last ten lifetimes. You just have to ask yourself if loving my brother, loving Delta, is worth someday losing him. No matter how it happens."

Was the risk worth the reward? If the reward was Delta, then there was only one answer.

Yes, yes, a million times yes!

The past few weeks had been the happiest in her life. Even now, with her heart broken and bleeding, she could still think of the happy times with Del and smile. He lifted her up, brought a smile to her face with just a thought, and warmed her heart even in the darkest of times.

Yes, the risk of losing it all was worth it. Worth him. Now she just had to figure out how to grovel her way back into his good graces.

"I don't know if he'll forgive me." The words were uttered to herself, but her friend must have heard because Charlie chuckled.

"I've done stupider things, and he's forgiven me."

"Yeah, but he loves you."

Her friend stared at her, a serious expression marring her features. "From what I can see, he loves you, too."

She hoped so. He'd alluded to it last night. Almost said it before she stopped him. But she had stopped him. What if he'd changed his mind? Decided she wasn't worth the drama? She had to try, right? They couldn't really be over as he'd said. She had to put her heart out there. Even if he broke it into a thousand pieces, she had to try .

"How is everything going?"

Cassie glanced up to see Lauren, a hesitant look on her face as she took in the two weepy women on the couch. Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, Cassie smiled. A genuine, hopeful smile. "I think I've found the perfect dress. For the perfect guy."

"Damn right, he is." Charlie laughed. "And you two are going to be so happy it's going to make me puke."

Cassie hugged her best friend, hoping Charlie was right, because nothing in this world—no job, no family, no house—could ever make her as happy as Delta Jackson.