Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

D el smiled at the wide-eyed stare Cassie gave him.

"Del? What are you doing here?" She still spoke into her cell.

"You sounded upset, so I came to check on you." He gently pulled her phone away from her ear.

Recovering from her shock, she scowled at him, sliding the thin device into her purse.

He chuckled at her prickly response as he grabbed her fallen keys. "Here, let me."

Del fit the metal key into the lock. Cassie allowed him to push open the door and shuffle her inside, not speaking until they were both locked away in the shelter of her house. She threw up her hands, walking over to collapse on her living room sofa. He followed, remaining standing in case she needed tea or ice cream or booze.

"I cannot believe we didn't think of this," she said, rubbing circles into her temples.

"It's okay, we can figure this out." They didn't need to invite the whole damn town. Maybe just half.

"It was bad enough when we were lying to your family, but now the entire town will want to celebrate with us, congratulate us, root for us! And it's all a lie!" She grasped her head in her hands. "They're all going to be so disappointed when we divorce. So, so mad."

Who cares what the town thought? It's not like Kismet was full of saints. He knew half a dozen residents who had gambling problems, a few stepping out on their spouses, and last year Kismet's one and only lawyer had gone to prison for embezzlement. In the grand scheme of things, their divorce would only be gossip fodder for a week, max.

"Cassie, it's going to be fine."

Pulling her head from her hands, she glared up at him. "Easy for you to say. Everyone loves you. You'll still have your family after we split. And I, I'll have no one. Chances are, after the truth comes out I won't even have Charlie."

Tears swam in those soft green eyes, cutting him right to the bone. Sitting next to her, he gathered her hands in his, brushing at a lone tear running down her cheek.

"My sister would never do that. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'll stop talking to me, not you. She's always said she'd kick my ass to the curb if it got her a sister."

She gave him a watery smile. "Charlie loves you."

True, but his sister loved Cassie, too. The whole town loved Cassie.

I love her.

The thought popped into his head, freezing every inch of him. His heart skipped a beat, lungs closing off, even his brain seemed to shut down for a moment. Love Cassie? Hell, of course he loved Cassie, how could he not? Truth be told, he'd probably always been a little bit in love with her. But he'd never been ready for her, for this. Not until now.

He processed his newly discovered feelings, keeping them to himself for the moment because he knew they were not what Cassie wanted or needed to hear right now. The strange thing, though? He really, really wanted to tell her. He wanted to shout his love for her from the top of town hall. Sure, it was only three stories high, but it was the tallest building Kismet had. Never in all his twenty-nine years did he ever expect falling in love to give him this euphoria coursing through his body. He always figured he'd go down kicking and screaming. He thought love was for fairytales and suckers, but now that he was in it, he found it suited him.

I'm in love with Cassandra Brown.

Just saying it to himself had a smile curling the corners of his lips. Who would've thought?

"You're right," Cassie said, pulling him back to the moment at hand. "But she's going to be so mad and hurt that I lied to her."

Yeah, a lot of people would, but they'd get over it.

Unless there was no divorce to get over.

Could he make this thing with Cassie work? For real? He wanted to, more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life.

"Don't worry about them for now." He leaned back against the couch, stretching his arm out so he could rub the tension from the back of her neck. "What did the Blithe sisters have to say?"

"You know them. Olive had warm wishes and Apple was her usual gray cloud and dark warnings." She groaned when he hit a particularly hard spot, working the knot out with his thumb. "They expect to be invited to the wedding and—oh, man that feels sooo good. Ooooh, yeah right there."

He knew she was talking about the kinks in her neck, but the breathy way she said it, the soft little moans escaping her lips, sounded identical to the sex noises she made when they were making love. His dick stiffened, pressing against the zipper of his jeans, but he willed Little Del down. Cassie needed comfort right now, not for him to jump her like a dog in heat.

That could come later.

He had an idea. "Shouldn't be too hard to have a gathering in the square for the town."

"Mmm, hmm."

Her muscles started to relax under his ministrations. He loved touching Cassie, even if it didn't lead to the bedroom. Having his hands on her calmed a frantic part of his mind that always told him to get up and go. With her, he felt settled, at peace.

Yup, love.

"We don't have to have the ceremony in front of everyone," he continued, "but we could have a party to celebrate."

"That's not a bad idea."

Happy he could help solve her worry, hell just happy in general, he kissed the back of her neck at the spot right below her ear that made her purr like a kitten. "See? Problem solved."

" One problem."

"There's more?"

She shifted on the couch, facing him. Tugging at her hair, she twisted a curl around her finger. "Olive said—she thought I should ask you to sign a prenup. To protect my money. I know we talked about not signing any official contract in case it got back to Mandy, but a prenup might not be a bad idea. Lots of couples today do them."

A prenup? He knew they were common now, but he'd always found them to be a downer. Why get married if you already planned for the marriage to end? Felt like a romance killer to him. He understood why some people signed them, but he always thought if he got married, it'd be forever.

Except he was getting married, and it wouldn't be forever .

And suddenly he knew. He wanted this to be real, him and Cassie. He loved her, and it didn't scare him. It elated him. Marrying Cassie for real, getting to spend every morning waking up to her, every night holding her close, sharing their ups and downs and whatever life threw their way sounded freaking fantastic.

"I'm not going to take your money, Cassie. I don't need it."

"Except for the start-up cash for your restaurant, right? We have a deal after all."

Something in him snapped. "I can get the money another way."

Her finger stopped twirling, eyes coming up to meet his, wide and uncertain. "What?"

Tired of playing this game, he gazed directly into the beautiful green depths of her eyes. "This stopped being about our deal a long time ago."

She shrank back, visibly swallowing. "What do you mean?"

She knew exactly what he meant. Yes, they'd had a deal, but it stopped being pretend the moment she let him inside her body. He knew her. Cassie didn't do casual sex. To be with someone, she had to care about him, ergo she must have some kind of feelings for him. He knew it, and so did she.

"I care about you, Cassie." He reached forward, gently grasping her hand, preventing her from retreating further. Physically, anyway. "And you care about me, too."

"Of course, I do. You're my friend, Del. We've known each other for years."

"Yeah, we have." He moved closer, refusing to let her brush this off, brush him off. "And that's why I know you'd never sleep with me unless you cared as more than a friend. You wouldn't jeopardize what we have, what you have with my sister, unless I matter to you."

Her face softened, free hand coming up to rest on his cheek. He turned his face in, soaking up her affection.

"You do matter to me," she said.

"And you matter to me." He could leave it there, but something in him wouldn't let it be. He wanted to tell her. He needed to tell her. Gathering up all the courage he had, he took a deep breath. "Cassie, I love—"

"No!" She shifted the hand on his cheek, covering his mouth as an expression of pure terror crossed her face. "Don't say it."

Perfect, just the reaction a guy wanted to get while declaring his love. Swallowing down the pain and humiliation, he removed her hand from his mouth. She quickly pulled away and tucked both her hands into her lap.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because you don't mean it."

He quirked a brow. "I don't?"

"No."

Her succinct answer pissed him off. "I wasn't aware you were the expert on my feelings. Do you also know what I'm going to want for dinner tonight? Because I'm feeling hungry for pizza, but maybe what I really want is a burger instead."

Her gaze narrowed, mouth tightening. "You see? This is what I mean. You can't love me. You don't even know what that means. You're too young—"

"I'm twenty-nine. You're a whopping two years older than me." Her argument was absurd.

"I may be only a few years older, but at least I act like an adult."

Felling attacked—because that's exactly what she was doing—he gritted his teeth, trying to calm the rising temper within. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Her eyes widened, probably realizing how angry he was. Good, she needed to know he wasn't some little boy she could talk down to. He was a grown-ass man and a fully participating member of this relationship. And they did have a relationship, no matter what bullshit she was trying to spout.

"It means you're immature." She took a deep breath, face hardening as she went on the offensive. "You hide behind this party-guy persona because you're too afraid to let your family see who you really are."

"I'm trying to show them," he argued. "That's what this whole restaurant thing is about." Didn't she see that?

"No, if you wanted this you'd tell them about finishing school. You'd show them how responsible you are and that you can handle the gravity of what you're about to take on. How are they ever going to have faith in you if you keep up this party-boy attitude and don't own up to your accomplishments? What are you afraid of Del?"

A sharp bolt of pain arched through him. What the hell nonsense was she spouting? Was she claiming he had a fear of success or some shit? That didn't even make sense. Of course he wanted to succeed. He'd never live up to his father or brothers, but he could try to be the men they were, the kind of man he looked up to his whole life. He wasn't afraid. She didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

"Love is about honesty. How could you think you love me when you can't even be honest with your own family?"

Pissed, hurting, and confused as hell, he glared. "You're one to talk about love. You don't love people, Cassie. You love things."

She wrenched back as if he'd slapped her, and fuck-it-all he had. Verbally—he would cut off his own arm before he ever raised a hand to a woman—but shit, her words cut him, deep. He wanted her to feel the same sharp-edged tongue, see a little truth of her own.

"You only want the house because it reminds you of your parents and grandmother, your family. But they're not here anymore. They're in your heart, Cassie. That's where people live after they leave. Not in things or places, but inside you. You're so afraid of losing a physical object. Have you ever once thought of why you really want your grandmother's house? Is it important because you want it or because you're afraid that by losing the house you'll lose your family all over again and have to face the future in front of you?"

She said nothing, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He hated himself in that moment, but he couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips. "You claim I'm too immature to know love, but at least I know you have it for people . Not a damn building."

Her hand trembled as she lifted it, pointing to the door. "Get out."

Shit, he was such an asshole, but the pain inside him from her denial and rejection obscured all other intentions. Rising from the couch, he turned and headed to the door. He'd just reached for the knob when her soft, worried call made him pause.

"Wait, you're…you're still going to go through with the deal, right?" she said.

He glanced over his shoulder. Cassie stood at the edge of the living room, fingers twisting in her dark, curly locks. Her brow wrinkled with worry, but her eyes—damn those things—had finally filled to capacity. Silent tears tracked down her cheeks. He wanted nothing more in the world than to go over to her and brush them away with his lips. Kiss her and keep kissing her until she smiled again. Promise her anything she wanted as long as she was happy. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't be in a relationship with her if she wouldn't admit to what he felt, what she felt. He wanted her to be happy, but he wanted that for himself, too.

"Del?"

"Yeah." His voice came out gruff, his own emotions clogging his throat, threatening to overwhelm him. Choking them back down, he cleared his throat and gave her the only thing he could. "I'll still marry you, but it's fake. And no benefits. You and me?" He shook his head. "I can't do halfway, Cassie."

She nodded. "I understand. I'll wire the money to your account before the wedding."

Shit. She stood there, tears streaming down her face, denying everything while he was breaking apart inside.

"Keep your fucking money. You'll need it to fill your precious house with shit you can love that will never love you back."

With that, he stormed out the door, slamming it behind him, leaving his heart in shattered pieces he knew no amount of gin would ever heal.