Chapter 12 Craze

My ultro thunders as Navi leans into me. I can't control the urge to feel more of her. But the reason takes me a second to come up with. I can't just touch her. She doesn't like it. And while I want her to, I can't force it. I have to show her I am safe and my contact is safe because I want to protect her.

Where did you learn that rock trick? I ask her.

She draws in a deep breath. I spent my childhood on Earth Minor. But after the Solcrue burned our city to the ground, my parents moved to an asteroid and became communications specialists for the rebellion. We didn't have much for heat, so we stayed warm at night with rocks from the fire.

Navi leans forward as if listening to something Loli says but it's too quiet to hear it. The cold air that rushes between our bodies makes me scoot closer to Navi.

When she finally leans back into me again, a wave of relief rushes through me. It doesn't matter that she's not Titan. I want Navillera . But I don't know if she'll ever learn to trust me or care for me in return.

How did you end up with your augments? I ask her.

She rubs Loli's arm in comforting strokes and sniffles. Solcrue burned out my eyes on Earth Minor. I spent several years on asteroid Heberus, healing. I had to learn my way around by feel, sound, and memorize everything. My father built me an integrated headset that he could communicate with to assist me when I needed it and ask for things as he and my mother needed.

Integrated?

She chews a lip. Implant.

Quite the engineer. That's a—

Creator's skill, I know. Navi's brows pinch together as we climb a slope fast, making out bodies press into the platform.

"Are you saying that your father—"

"Was a Creator, yes." Navi hugs Loli and subtly rocks her body. We left Titan when I was just a baby. My parents wanted to protect me. Her head sways. They shamed him for leaving, shut him out. Then they all died during the takeover.

I want to ease the pain of her memories. Sympathy for her struggles makes me curl around her as if I could protect her from them now. I know I can't but I want to try.

I don't deserve this, whatever this is that you're trying to do, she says. It feels too good. But I don't deserve it.

How can you say that? You freed many. You fought for them.

Her face twists with frustration. I got my parents killed by Solcrue! I answered a distress call. Because I couldn't read the code on the screen, I didn't know it was from the enemy.

Her body tenses, and I realize that she feels like saving the women she has wasn't enough to make up for past mistakes.

I am built for initial assault missions, infiltrating the most secure and heavily guarded ships. Many have died on my teams. I have out-operated hundreds. Few of our Brothers and Sisters are left. In a perfect universe, none of them would have perished.

Many times, I tried to fight my programming to save them. But it was always the mission or them. And the Creators made me to focus on one thing—the mission right in front of me. So I carry a lot of guilt, too.

I clutch her against me. You tried to do the right thing based on what you knew. Many choose to hide and hope someone else will take action. The rebellion needs people like you.

I need her.

NaviLocal: pops up in my vision, and I don't need to know what she says. I feel it.

Tangle slows the hoverdrone. We pull into an adjacent tunnel and park in an alcove off of the main road.

Shavih sits up from where she holds two other women. This time, she doesn't speak. Jeela doesn't even glare at me as I collect Loli from Navi's arms and hop down. Navi wipes her face dry of tears then reaches out and draws the blankets over Loli's eyes.

NaviLocal: Do you salvage from them?

Never, I reply. Any parts on them at the time of death are theirs.

Tangle takes Loli from me. I get down and use my speed and force to dig a deep hole. Tangle climbs down into it and curls Loli up.

"May you find peace in freedom and freedom among the stars," Tangle and I say in unison.

Then we push the dirt over Loli's body while the others watch. As Tangle turns the hoverdrone around, I punch the rock wall, freeing boulders which I roll atop her grave.

Navi follows me with her eyes as I climb back onto the platform. "What are the rocks for?"

"Welvir protection." I sit beside Navi and motion her to me.

Navi shifts closer, eyes me, then leans against my chest. But this time, she rests her head on my shoulder. She doesn't know how much it means that she finds comfort in me.

TangleCraze: Never knew you to be so—tender.

CrazeTangle: I deal with the here and now. That is not always battle. Do not ask me what the plan is for tomorrow. I will deal with it when it happens.

TangleCraze: You have taken a liking to that female. Is it because she behaved like a Titan?

I consider it as I look down at Navi's face. A tear streaks her light bronze skin. The sight of it twists my insides. So I wipe it away with a thumb as gently as I'm able.

Her eyes flutter open, and blue light falls over my hand.

CrazeNavi: I will not hurt you. But I cannot stand to see you in pain. Please tell me what you need.

Just time and quiet space to think. Navi closes her eyes again. I am not used to so much communication. I spent most of my time in isolation.

I hoped for an answer that would give me direction for this moment and the next. I've got to figure out how to make myself focus on something long term. I need to write a program.

Program Creator: Loading—

When it opens, there are too many options and things to adjust. It is why I never tried to complete it. It's beyond my capability. I just need help focusing on Navi.

I scrap the program and reply to Tangle. As I do, I think back to Navi's battle on Ravenger III. It is not what she is that matters. I don't care if she's Titan or human or a blend. She fights for her Sisters like we fight for our Brothers. Tell me that would not appeal to you as well.

Well, sure, Tangle replies . But I don't want her like you seem to.

Good, because she's mine. I stall at my own claim.

Tangle glances back at me, arching a gold brow.

Growing self conscious, I curl myself around Navi and draw in her scent. I don't really understand it either Brother. Her aroma and the way she looks at me drive me mad with desire. I did not feel it when I first tackled her out of the way of Tav's bullet. But when I saw her face and the determination in her eyes—

I changed inside.

You what? Tangle asks.

The strength of the feeling grips me. I would decommission myself for her, not because of programming or protocols. I would end the world to keep her safe if it meant freeing her of the guilt I know all too well. And I'd do it of my own damned choice.