Chapter 12

TWELVE

ALEXA

Mom went to the extreme to ensure my room was set up comfortably for my stay with them. I was just happy to be back in my old room, which is three times the size of my dorm room. No more loud cheering or drunken laughter walking past my room. Well, not unless Mom and Dad have a wild night out.

The room beside mine happens to be Addy’s. According to Mom, Addy had no issue with transforming the room into a nursery. Luckily, Ava is down the hall because she is the only one of us who has begged my parents to keep her room as is. Considering she has a beautiful house to live in, I’m not sure why she’s so attached to her room here.

There’s something to be said about being back home. It’s like I never left since nothing at all has changed. For once in my life, I welcome the familiarity and try my best to be present in the moment, given these are my last moments alone for the rest of my life.

Oh God, I’m going to have a kid with me every single day.

Okay, stop freaking out.

Dad spends his days at his office, coming home for dinner if he isn’t called out of town. Mom still works like crazy and will take care of the grandkids when she isn’t working. The kids are next-level intense when they are all together. Always wanting my attention and asking a thousand questions about the baby. When Ava’s daughter, Emmy, throws the ‘Where do babies come from?’ question at me, I’m outta there so fast, leaving Mom to answer.

I enjoy lazing around by the pool to the warm summer Californian air. The home-cooked meals are always a treat, and so is the grand home to walk around. The company of Mom and Dad is a welcoming change from campus life.

“Sweetheart, are you all set for your scan tomorrow? Austin recommended the best obstetrician here in Los Angeles.”

“All set. It’s just measurements and heartbeat, right?”

Dad takes a bite of his food, then wipes his mouth. “For now, but in the next few weeks, they may start to check dilation.”

“Dilation? What does that mean?”

“To see if the cervix has begun dilating to prepare for birth,” Mom informs me.

I sink into my chair, wishing this part would go away.

“How do they check?”

“Well,” Mom begins with, offering a warm smile. “They check manually.”

“Manually?” I repeat, raising my voice. “With a hand?”

“Not a hand, just fingers,” she reassures me.

“Oh, God. This is all going to hurt.”

“I won’t lie. It’s not exactly pleasant.”

I let out a groan. “How did you do this four times? This pregnancy is exhausting.”

Mom forces a smile, but something behind it seems off. “Because once you hold the baby in your arms, you forget just how exhausting and painful it all was.”

Beside her, Dad places his hand on hers as if to comfort her. Something passes between them, but I let it go, not wanting to upset her.

“Mom? Will you be there in the delivery room with me?”

“Of course, Alexa,” she reassures me.

“Sorry, Dad. It would be kinda weird if you saw the kid flying out of my see you next Tuesday.”

Dad presses his lips tightly shut, closing his eyes briefly.

“Thank you, Alexandra, for the euphemism.”

“You’re welcome,” I quip. “So, about this baby shower Ava is throwing. Do I have to go?”

Mom laughs. “If you don’t, she will hunt you down and drag you anyway. Prepare to be spoiled, Alexa.”

Pregnancy is exhausting, and so are baby showers. So much for it being low-key. Ava invited every woman I know, so it’s safe to say the cat is really out of the bag now. The only thing I insisted on is no pics uploaded onto socials. It’s one thing for my family and our friends to know, another for Hunter Cash.

And since I’ve moved back here, the fear of running into him never leaves me. That’s if he still lives here in Los Angeles. I assume so, but he is expecting a family, so who knows?

“Ava, what part of this is low-key? There’s a giant swan on the patio.”

“It’s not a swan. It’s a stork.”

“Okay, I don’t think a giant stork screams low-key.”

Millie joins us at the table, where I have picked up way too much food. She places her hand on my belly and rubs it softly. Uh-oh, I’m not surprised if she’s pregnant now or thinking about having another one. I would have thought three boys and a bustling career were enough on her plate, but then I remember Mom and Dad. They made it work somehow.

“I think it’s a boy.”

“Really?” Ava questions her. “I think, girl. What do you think?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to tell?”

“The shape,” Aunt Adriana intervenes. “Right now, I think you’re carrying like it’s a girl.”

“Were you like this with Willow?”

“According to Charlie, I was. She’s the queen of carrying girls.”

Great, a daughter. I hope she doesn’t turn out like drama llama Ava.

“Why are you looking at me that way?” Ava eyes me dubiously. “I was the perfect daughter, thank you very much. Ask the parentals. I was only hard work in my late teens.”

“Shall we bring up the leaked nude shots?” Millie raises with a smirk. “Or getting knocked up to a one-night stand.”

“I married the one-night stand, and Dad loves Austin. So there,” Ava retorts.

My sisters arguing is nothing new to me, but I abandon them to catch up with everyone else. It’s nice to chat, yet the conversation becomes somewhat repetitive. Everyone is respectful of the whole ‘daddy’ issue. No questions are asked, which I probably should thank Mom for since she probably warned everyone to leave me alone.

My cousin, Jessa, arrives with her little girl, Scarlett. It’s been a long while since I last saw them since they travel quite a bit. Andy has become a successful photographer who has been hired by many big labels, and Jessa is a full-time author now.

“Jessa, she is so precious. She looks just like Andy.”

“I know.” Jessa grins as her blonde curls bounce on her shoulders. “Isn’t it scary?”

“Nah, it’s perfect. Two besties finally together, and now your family is complete.”

“You summed it up,” Jessa agrees happily. “So, I guess we’re not supposed to bring up the giant elephant in the room, but between us, girls, are you okay? Being a single Mom is hard.”

“I don’t know. I guess I will know soon,” I admit, then release a breath. “Is it hard for you to co-parent with Bentley’s dad? Isn’t he in Manhattan, and you guys are here?”

“It was, it is. We don’t see eye to eye on everything and come from two very different family values. For the most part, Bentley’s dad lets me call the shots. We try to schedule monthly visits of either him coming here or us visiting Manhattan. That way, Bentley doesn’t miss out.”

“And Andy, he’s okay with that?”

“He’s an amazing stepfather.” Jessa sighs, followed by a smile. “But he was raised by a good man. It makes all the difference in the world when you’re trying to raise a blended family.”

“Uncle Julian is pretty special.”

“What are you saying about my husband?” Aunt Adriana teases. She grabs Scarlett off Jessa with the biggest of smiles. “My little girl. I miss you.”

Jessa laughs. “Really? After she destroyed your rug with her baby diarrhea last week.”

Aunt Adriana softens her expression. “My grandbaby is welcome to shit on as many rugs as she needs to.”

I scrunch up my face. “Gross.”

Jessa excuses herself to eat while Aunt Adriana smothers Scarlett. My cousins Luna and Willow come over, causing a fight among the three of them about who gets to hold Scarlett. I have to laugh. So much love and Scarlett is just trying to pull on Aunt Adriana’s earrings without a care in the world.

Ava has a whole schedule planned out. It involves games, all of which I lose but have fun participating in. Maybe not so much the one where people had to guess how big I am with a piece of string. Eric’s assumption made me look like a beached whale.

“Sorry, doll,” he apologizes while pouting his lips.

With the games done, Ava sits beside me as I’m instructed to open the gifts. There are so many, and some things I have no clue what they do, like the diaper genie or the nipple shields. Eric has too much knowledge of them for someone who, I assume, has never used them. Ava rushes to tell me what things are if I look confused, saving me from looking like a complete idiot.

And the onesies, okay, they are cute.

How can a piece of little fabric be that adorable?

The day goes by so quickly, and soon the sun begins to set in the distance as my sisters move all the gifts to the upstairs nursery room. The guests have left, bringing peace and quiet after what felt like a long day.

“Did you have a good day, honey?” Mom asks once the guests leave, and it’s just us on the patio bench.

“I did, Mom…” I trail off, then continue, “… It’s just I wonder if this would feel different if Hunter was around. Not romantically, but just being here as a father.”

Mom shifts her gaze to the horizon, admiring the pink sky. It’s not often we speak about Hunter, and I know better than to bring his name up in front of Dad.

“It’s hard to say. I don’t know him well enough to know whether or not he would be a present father figure. Not all men are, honey. I’ve seen it too many times in my career as a family attorney.”

“Yeah, there are some deadbeat dads out there, that’s for sure. Honestly, Mom, I never had those discussions with him, so even I don’t know.”

“Are you thinking about telling him?”

I stare silently ahead of me. Unsure how to feel right now.

“I don’t know, Mom. It’s just that everywhere I look around, you know, with Will, Austin, Andy… they’re all amazing fathers.”

Mom smiles proudly. “It’s because our family, and men, have been raised to be good people and fathers. I’m proud of all of them for being part of their kids’ lives, and not only that, wanting to be part of their lives. It’s one thing to do it because of obligation and another because you genuinely want to be there for your kids.”

She raises an important point. The last thing I want is for Hunter to feel obliged to help our kid and me.

“Do you need help upstairs, honey? I’m going to shower and text your father he is safe to come back home.”

I let out a laugh. “Poor Dad. Where was he?”

“At Uncle Noah’s watching some game. Most of the men were there.”

“I think I’m just going to sit here for a while.”

Mom touches my hand softly and then heads back into the house.

There’s so much I love about being back, but so much I miss on the East Coast. I grab my phone and text Beau even though it’s Saturday and he’s probably busy.

Me

I survived the baby shower. There was a giant stork.

Beau

Of course there was. I bet your baby was spoilt.

Me

Yes, too spoilt. It was great to catch up with family.

Beau

Mom’s super sorry she couldn’t make it. Dad was getting some awards, and she had to be in attendance. It was out in the Hamptons, so thank God I have the place to myself. They’re driving me nuts.

It’s been two weeks since I left Manhattan, and even though we have spoken almost every day, things feel like they have changed between us. I hate even thinking about it since I have no right, but Beau is a guy with needs. Without me in the picture, I’m pretty sure he’s gone back to his old ways.

Me

You’re young. Enjoy the house to yourself.

I sit here for another ten minutes with no response. With a sudden surge of jealousy, I huff while making my way back to my room. Given how big this house is, it feels like it takes me forever since my walk is more of a waddle.

My skin feels sticky from the heat, so I take a cold shower and throw on my maternity bed shirt. As I try to settle in bed, my legs begin to ache, and the exhaustion becomes too much. The drop of my heavy eyelids is hard to fight against, but then my phone rings, startling me.

“Hello,” I croak, followed by a yawn.

“Are you sleeping? Shit sorry. I had a friend come over, and they just left.”

My eyes open wide. “A friend? That was quick.”

“No, Alexa. It wasn’t a girl.”

“I never said it was.”

“Yeah, but judging by your whole ‘you’re young’ comment, you assume I’m bringing girls back here.”

“Well, your dad would be proud.”

“Lucky, I have no interest in making my dad proud.” Beau lets out a sigh. “It’s not easy being here without you, okay?”

A slow smile builds at the realization of Beau struggling just as much as me. I miss him more than I care to admit. I miss the way he smiles, then annoys me to the point we argue. How he kisses my forehead, to the smell of his skin when he’s lying beside me, and I bury my face into his arm.

But most of all, I miss the way my heart flutters when his stare never leaves mine.

“You’ll be here in two weeks, and once you’re here, I will annoy you as much as you need,” I inform him while grinning.

“Looking forward to it.” He chuckles. “So, we’re good?”

“Always, Beau.” I breathe, relieved. “Always.”