Chapter 11

ELEVEN

ALEXA

Studying while pregnant is a beast in itself.

The temptation to eat absolute junk is way too accessible when anything you want can be delivered in ten minutes, especially if you have a bestie who will find it for you.

“You said salted caramel ice cream?” Beau questions with a tub in his hand.

He pinches his lips together with a clenched jaw, knowing me too well since he can predict exactly what I’m going to say.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I said peppermint.”

“No,” he contests, followed by a sneer. “You said caramel. Peppermint made you dry heave last time.”

I tap my finger on my bottom lip while glancing at the wall. “Hmm, I don’t remember.”

“Alexa,” Beau complains with a long-winded moan. “Are you saying you want me to go back out and find peppermint?”

My lips curve up into a big smile. “Could ya?”

Beau mumbles profanities as he exits the room on his mission to find me peppermint ice cream. While waiting, I grab the salted caramel and start eating, only for Ava to call me.

“So, I was thinking, you’re back in two weeks, right?”

“Yes, why?”

“I think you should have a baby shower,” she tells me with way too much excitement. “Before you say anything, it’ll be low-key, and you don’t need to do anything.”

“Do I get cake?” I ask, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. This salted caramel ain’t bad at all. The baby seems to enjoy it since they keep kicking me like crazy. “The super creamy cake with lots of frosting and extra buttery.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“Do I have to pretend to be excited about the presents even though I’ll have no idea what half the shit is?”

“Yes… but I can sit next to you and give you a heads up.”

“Okay,” I agree, with a sigh. “Just don’t go overboard.”

Ava falls into a fit of laughter. I wait it out, almost finishing the tub of ice cream during our conversation.

“You’re so funny. It’s like you don’t even know me.”

The door opens to Beau with the peppermint tub in hand. His cheeks are flushed, given it’s slightly warmer than usual tonight, or he ran. I take a glimpse at the tub, shuddering at the look of it.

“Ava, I gotta go. Call me later.”

I hang up the phone and force a smile. “So, about the peppermint…”

Beau closes his eyes and exhales. “Don’t even say it. I swear to God you’re lucky you’re beautiful, or I would have abandoned you long ago.”

Sometimes, Beau will say something completely unaware, and I pretend like it’s nothing. Like right now. I bow my head, willing to hide my expression. Things with us have been great, and we’ve both learned to respect the boundary we set in our friendship. Our last so-called ‘crossing’ of the boundary almost cost us our friendship, and I don’t ever want to lose him again.

I must remind myself any feelings I have, are misguided and probably because of pregnancy hormones. The bane of my existence.

“Uh, thanks,” I mumble. “And I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” Beau reaches out to touch my hand. “It’s cool. The baby wants what it wants, right? Anyway, you wanna study? When’s your final?”

Beau is incredibly smart. Often, he plays dumb to get out of things, but the guy could seriously graduate tomorrow with how intelligent he is. As a study partner, he has been amazing. Thanks to him, I feel confident passing all my classes even though I’m super tired and can barely stay awake during the day.

“I miss coffee,” I say out loud. “The taste, the smell. The way it keeps me awake.”

“I bet you do. I would go insane without it. What else do you miss?”

“Rollercoasters,” I quip.

“As soon as you’ve popped this kid out, we’re hitting Disneyland.”

I cock my head with a jutted chin. “Popped this kid out? The baby doesn’t just pop out. You go through hours of intense labor, maybe even days. Then, excruciating pain to push, not pop, it out of your vagina.”

Beau presses his lips flat, running his hand through his messy hair. Every time he does that, I focus on the tattoo on his hand.

He winces. “Vaginas are small.”

“Yes, they are. I mean, I’m sure you’ve been in some loose ones, but not loose enough for a baby to pop out.”

He chuckles while sitting at the end of my bed, prompting me to put my feet up so he can massage them. The touch of his hands on my swollen feet makes me want to fall asleep right here. Lately, it’s happened multiple times. He’d put me to sleep somehow, and I’d wake up the next morning with him gone.

“I can’t say it’s something guys really think about when they’re fucking a chick.”

“Get out of here. In my romance books, the guy always comments on how tight a woman is.”

“Yeah, your romance books,” Beau chastises. “Is that how you’re getting off these days?”

“Look at me, Beau. There’s no getting off. I can barely reach down there. So, are you saying guys don’t think this?”

He drops his gaze, but I can see a smirk forming on his lips. Most of the time, he makes these sexy gestures and doesn’t even know it.

“Maybe, like sometimes. I dunno.”

“Men are complicated creatures.”

“Women are complicated creatures,” he retorts. “The simple fact that you’re reading a romance novel where the guy is talking about how tight a chick is. Is this what women want?”

“It’s kinda hot.” I shrug with a smirk. “I’m just saying if a guy said it to me, I wouldn’t object.”

“No guy is saying that to you because after you have this baby, you’re swearing to celibacy for life,” he demands.

“Sure.” I grin, knowing he’s getting all riled up because his jaw clenches. He’s cute when he’s jealous and has no idea, which prompts me to push his buttons. “Or maybe, I find myself a single daddy and do the whole blended families thing.”

Beau shifts his gaze onto me. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Do you think I’m kidding?”

“Yes, no… I don’t know.”

“Well, do you really think I’ll be single for life? That’s kinda depressing since I’m only twenty, and apparently, it’s not just called dirty thirties for no reason.”

“Who told you that?”

“Eric, of course.”

He removes his hands and crosses his arms. “I can’t believe you’re already thinking about dating.”

“I never said that! I said one day, I will try again. Gee, calm down, will you? Besides, it’s so double standards given you are allowed to do whomever you want.”

Beau remains silent, making the tension awkward inside my small room.

“Alexa, I said I wouldn’t touch anyone, and I haven’t.”

“C’mon, I know what you said, but look at you.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“You’re hot. Girls literally line up at your door.” I grab his phone, enter the passcode, which he still hasn’t changed, and go into his DMs. “Stacey here wants to hook up tomorrow. Marley wants to know if you’d be interested in her and her boyfriend. Okay … wow.”

He reaches out, but I yank it away. “Alexa, give me back my phone.”

“And Breanna…” My eyes widen at the video playing in front of me. “Right, I think her pussy looks tight if this video is anything to go by.”

“Okay, enough,” he commands. “If you cared to notice, all that shit is unread.”

“But why? You can have any woman you want if this is anything to go by.”

Beau purses his lips, then clenches his fist to unclench it seconds later. “If I could have any woman I want, then I guess we wouldn’t be sitting here having this discussion.”

My brain takes a moment to think about his words, but my body has reacted well before my brain gets its shit together, growing hot and feverish as the desire to touch him consumes me.

“Maybe,” I say, barely above a whisper. “Good things come to those who wait.”

He simply nods, then glances at his watch. “I better go. The last final is tomorrow, and I’m done. You going to be okay?”

“Just fine.”

Saying goodbye to the life I’d built in Manhattan was always going to be hard.

It was such a short window, and the bustling city life had grown on me. With my first year at NYU wrapped up and my dorm room packed into boxes for the movers, I scanned the room one more time and took it all in.

The baby kicks me, almost as if telling me to hurry up.

“Okay, okay. I promise we won’t miss the flight,” I say out loud.

Beau offered to take me to the airport. The cab ride is mainly us sitting in silence, which makes me wonder why he even bothered to take me. The last week has been challenging since his mood has been up and down. Half the time, I’m not sure whether I’m getting fun Beau or broody Beau.

With my bags checked in, we head toward the security gates. This week happens to be the last week I’m allowed to fly. Otherwise, I’m stuck here until after the birth.

“So, this is it.”

“For right now. You’ll be visiting in a few weeks, right?”

He nods, unable to look at me.

“Beau, please look at me,” I beg.

Slowly, he raises his eyes to meet mine, his stare deep and prolonged. I’ve stared into his brown eyes almost every single day, seeking comfort in such a simple moment. Yet, here we are, saying goodbye so I can move on to the scariest time of my life.

“This is just this chapter. Soon, it will pass, and there’s a new chapter.”

A smile lingers on his lips. “Your romance books again. Did you bring one to read on the plane?”

“Sure did. It’s a monster romance, and the chick is getting banged by like a whole gang of them.”

His soft laugh lights up his face. “How is that romance?”

“I’m not sure yet.” I grin, then reach out for his hand. “I guess one of them is her soulmate.”

Beau glances down to look at my hand, unknowingly letting out a soft breath. “Another chapter, huh?”

I take a step forward and wrap my arms around him. Everything about him feels so safe, but I need to get used to doing things without him. We have a friendship built on trust, but at the end of the day, it ends with a friendship, and that’s it. At least, it’s what I keep telling myself to ignore the longing feeling I have for him.

“Plenty more chapters,” I whisper in his ear.

He moves his face to plant a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Make sure this baby stays put until I come out, okay?”

“I’ll make sure there’s no popping.”

Beau laughs, with his handsome grin spreading across his entire face. “Now get on that plane and message me the minute you land, promise?”

I run the back of my hand against his cheek. “I promise, bestie.”