30. Joker

Chapter 30

Joker

I'm dragging ass by the time I make it in. I drove straight through and it's now close to two in the morning. It's clear that the club is on high alert, even if Bull and some of the others are home now. Guards around the outside are thick. Most of them are prospects and the newer members. I spoke with several members inside, but I didn't ask them about Skylar. I need time to talk to Bull and the rest of her family before I announce her as my woman. I know the man and his old lady are going through enough right now. That means I'm going to have to keep my relationship with Skylar a secret for a little while longer. I don't like it. I'm definitely not happy, but I just don't have a damn choice. Right now, I'm busy trying to think of a way to spend time with Skylar and make sure she's okay. I don't want to let her go.

Fuck, I'm not sure I can.

Most of the club is asleep, except for those responsible for security and patrolling. I search until I see the guy I need to talk to. He's standing across the room talking to one of the newest members. I forget his name. Then again, in my defense, I've had a lot on my plate. Raze frowns at me, but he nods slightly. I meet him in the corner of the room. He starts shaking his head before I even make it to him.

"Don't start. Just tell me what room she's in," I mutter.

"Dude, the girl has been through a lot today. Maybe you should just give her some space for a day or two."

"I'm going to be with my woman tonight. You can either tell me where she's at, or I'll just go through all the rooms until I find her. That might cause more issues."

"You're fucking insane," he mutters. "The club is kind of a mess right now. You might want to take it easy instead of starting more drama. I'm not sure Bull and the others are in the right headspace for more shit right now."

"How is everyone? Really?" I ask, feeling guilty.

"Worn out. We're doing double patrols, so every member is pulling double shifts. The guys that came back from North Carolina are a mess. Most of us aren't much better."

"Yeah," I answer, not really knowing what to say. "I drove straight through, and I've had very little sleep. I also need to clear up shit with Skylar. I'm pretty sure she heard me talking to you this morning—and if you only listen to part of the conversation and only one side …"

"Well fuck," he mutters.

"Exactly. Let me have some time with her to clear the air. After, I'll grab a couple of hours sleep, then relieve someone. Okay?"

"No worries, man. Our schedule is set for tomorrow. Go get some rest."

"Well, I'm not resting until I have Skylar in my arms. So, tell me. What room?"

"She's in the room beside yours. As hateful as you are, I should have put her beside Bull's." I flip him off and start walking away. He tried to talk me out of going to her side. He's lucky I don't punch him. "You're welcome," he calls out, but I ignore him. I'm tired and I want my woman.

When I make it to her door, it's locked. "Good girl," I whisper. The lock won't stop me, but it does make me smile.

I pull out my wallet and find an old, expired credit card I keep in there for emergencies like this one. It only takes me a minute to slide the card between the door frame, to force the lock to retract. Once I get it in position, I jimmy the lock loose and open the door. I gently close and lock the door, then replace the card in my wallet and toss it gently on the dresser by the door.

The room is dark, but there's a soft glow of light from the attached bathroom. It's just enough for me to make out Skylar's frame on the bed. I quickly discard my boots and socks. Then finish stripping down. I could use a shower, but it will have to wait until tomorrow morning. I walk over to the bed where Skylar is lying. I look at her for a minute, just drinking in the sight of her. This is the first fucking time since she ran away from me today that I feel my breath coming easily. The tension in my body is finally lessening now that I'm close to her.

I carefully get on the bed, curling into her back. I slowly wrap my arm over her so that my hand rests against her stomach. I briefly wonder if she might already be carrying my child. The thought fills me with joy. As I snuggle into her, I can tell the exact minute she wakes up because she stiffens against me.

"Torin, please go away."

I kiss the back of her head. "Get some rest, Peaches. I won't do anything. I just want to hold you tonight," I explain.

"I don't have it in me to fight with you right now," she mumbles.

I bend so I can place a kiss on the back of her neck and squeeze her gently. "Seriously. Sleep, Peaches. I don't know why you left, but we can talk about it later. I just want you in my arms right now."

She's quiet for a minute, her body slowly relaxing. Then I hear her quietly sobbing. Wet, sloppy tears fall down against my hand. Immediately, I roll to my back, moving into a sitting position. I pull my woman into my arms and cradle her against me.

"Torin, I feel so lost," she whimpers, her voice sounding so small with none of her usual spunk. Her silent sobs are causing her body to jerk, but she's still doing her best to suppress the noise, not wanting to show weakness. Fuck, my woman is spectacular. Even I didn't know how strong she truly was.

"I know, baby. I'm here. Hold on to me and let it out, Peaches. Don't hold it in."

"Everyone is acting like he's dead, but I just don't think he is. My brother can't be gone. You know him, Torin. Mattie would fight too hard to not go out this way."

I sigh, my heart breaking. Still, I can't give her false hope. "Baby …" I leave the rest unspoken. I can't seem to make myself say the words.

"No, Torin. They haven't found Mattie's body yet. There's a chance. A big one. I know him. Heck, you do, too. You know how hard he'd fight … There has to be a chance."

I hug her tighter, pulling her back into my body. My cock instantly rising to the occasion, but I ignore it. I don't want to give her false hope, but there's no way I can break her heart either. "There's a chance," I agree, giving her another squeeze. "You're right, baby. There's still a chance," I repeat. "Breaker absolutely would fight to survive."

Her tears come harder. "That's exactly what I told, Thea," she sobs. The sound of her misery is breaking me. I can do nothing but hold her and comb my fingers through her hair. "Let it out, baby. I'm right here. You're safe with me, Peaches. I'm right here with you. I love you."

"You love me?" she whimpers.

"After what we shared, how can you doubt that, Peaches?"

"But I heard you, Torin. You were on the phone telling Raze that our night together only happened because you felt guilty and sorry that you had hurt me. It was pity sex. I heard it all."

I shake my head, kissing the top of her head. "When your tears stop and things here …" I sigh, wondering exactly how to phrase it. "When things are better, I'm going to spank your ass for thinking I would ever do that to you."

"But—"

I force her head up to look at me. The tears running down her face are still hard to take in, but I need her to hear me. I want her to see the truth written on my face. "You only heard one side of a conversation, baby. You didn't hear what Raze said or how he knows that I've always wanted you." I lean down and gently kiss her lips, taking in the salty tears on my tongue as I do. "Tomorrow, the two of us can sneak away and talk about everything. I'll explain everything then. For now, all you need to know is that I love you and I'm not going anywhere. You're my woman, Skylar. I want you to lean on me. I want to be here with you. There's no other place I want to be. Hell, I only feel half alive when you're not next to me." Her tears begin falling again as she collapses against me. Although now that she's not trying to keep from relaxing in my hold, she can feel how hard my cock is.

"Um …," she hums between her sniffling.

"Ignore it," I tell her. "Me being hard whenever you're close is just something you'll have to get used to. You're mine and I will always want you. I'm not going to try and hide it from you. Right now, it's not important right now. Tonight, I just want to hold you so that you know you're not alone. I'm not going anywhere."

"But—"

"Shh … We will talk tomorrow, I promise. Rest while you can, sweetheart. Raze told me how you've been running yourself ragged trying to take care of your family."

She gives me a little smile, but she just looks nothing but sad. "I'm just trying to help," she mumbles.

"That's because my Peaches is an amazing woman. She's always trying to take care of others. So, just let me take care of you right now." I kiss her forehead and slide down on the bed, still holding her. She curls in close as we settle, and I adjust the covers. I continue to hold her and place small kisses here and there, because I just can't keep from it.

"Torin?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I'm sorry I ran away, but I'm really glad you came after me."

"Skylar, listen to me. I'll always come for you. Always. You're my heart and my soul."

She places a kiss on my chest. "Goodnight, Torin."

"Goodnight, Peaches. I'll be here when you wake up."

"What if someone finds you here?"

"Then everyone will know about our relationship before we tell them. I'm not keeping you a secret. I'd like to give it enough time for your parents to process everything they're going through, but that's the only reason everyone doesn't know tonight. You're mine. Fuck, I want the entire world to know it. I'm proud that you're my old lady."

"We can talk tomorrow?" she asks, trying to hide a yawn.

"Yes, now, be a good girl and go to sleep for me."

"Okay, Tor," she murmurs in that sweet voice that's filled with a mixture of sleep, sadness, and what I hope is happiness that I'm here with her. I squeeze her once more, as she stretches out, burrowing her head into my chest with her legs on each side of me. Her stomach presses against mine and her arms are loosely draped so that they hang at my sides. I listen until her breathing evens out. Then, surprisingly, I feel sleep inching up on me, too. I willingly surrender. My woman is back in my arms.

That's all I need.