CHAPTER 20

The conversation with Heather had been exactly what Selma had needed; confirmation that what she was doing for Gia were the right things. Heather had been patient and so understanding that Selma almost hadn’t wanted to let her leave the restaurant, but the woman had added her to the online parent group she belonged to, where they discussed their gifted children and the issues they had. Heather had explained that it was a way for them to learn from each other but also to vent about being parents and the toll it took on them at times.

On the drive back to Drew’s apartment, things were fairly quiet between them. It was as if Drew had known that Selma would be thinking about what she and Heather had discussed. The whole lunch, Drew had been relatively quiet, letting Selma and Heather talk about Owen and Gia. She had only chimed in a few times and seemed content to sit back and listen. Selma was so appreciative of this woman who had come back into her life, but she also felt more than appreciation, and it was getting harder and harder not to act on it. She wanted to ask Drew out on a date – or, at least, tell her that she liked her – but she had too much going on to date anyone right now, let alone someone like Drew. And that’s assuming the woman said yes to begin with.

Drew would be traveling around the world just like Selma would be, and while sometimes, they’d be in the same place, other times they wouldn’t. Selma already felt guilty about being here with Drew when she should’ve been at home, spending time with her daughter before she left for the training camp. She couldn’t spend much more time away from her kid, so even if Drew were interested and said yes to them going on an actual date, Selma wasn’t sure how it would work until maybe Gia was eighteen and out of the house or, at least, a teenager who didn’t want to hang out with Selma anyway.

“So, I was thinking that there’s this park where people sometimes do bonfires and stuff… It could be fun. They have some beers there and just hang out.”

“And you want to go?”

“We could go. If you want, I mean.”

“How do you know these people?”

“Most of them are boarders or skiers I’ve met over the years. They’re good people, I promise.”

“And you want to hang out with them tonight?”

“It’ll be fun. Someone always brings a guitar and starts playing something. Everyone starts singing. At first, it’s okay singing. Then, some of the guys drink too much, and it turns into very bad singing.” Drew laughed a little. “Anyway, it’s just an idea. Everyone is sort of around our age. I say sort of because you’re, like, ten years younger than me.”

“I think it’s closer to nine, remember?”

“Still…”

“We can go. I wouldn’t mind,” Selma told her.

“Do you sing?”

“No.” She laughed a little.

“Not even badly?” Drew teased.

◆◆◆

A few hours later, Selma found herself sitting on a tree stump in some park that she hadn’t caught the name of. It wasn’t a bonfire, exactly; more like a regular fire that some guy seemed to take full responsibility for tending.

“He’s very serious about this fire,” Selma noted when Drew sat down next to her and handed her a beer.

“That’s Drew.”

“Um… Are you drunk already? You’re Drew.”

Drew laughed and said, “He’s Andrew, but he goes by Drew, too. Anyway, he’s a volunteer fireman, so he does take it very seriously, making sure we don’t burn the park down. Even though it’s winter, we still have to be careful. Cheers.” She held out her beer bottle for Selma to clink, which she did. “Is it okay? Are you having fun?”

“Your friends are nice, Drew.” She bumped Drew’s shoulder playfully. “And it’s beautiful out here at night.” Selma looked up at the cloudless sky, taking in the stars, before she looked over at Drew, who was doing the same thing.

“I love the mountains. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else,” Drew said.

“Me neither,” she agreed and took a drink of her beer. “So, when does the bad singing start?”

“Oh, we’ve got to get a few more beers in before that happens.”

“We?” Selma asked.

As Selma sat on the uncomfortable half-frozen log, with Drew next to her, someone pulled out a guitar and started strumming a song that Selma didn’t know. It was a folk song of sorts, she guessed. She listened to the guy with a decent voice, and when others joined in, she realized that Drew was right: it was good singing – at the start, at least. A few more minutes into it, though, Selma couldn’t resist. As the next song started up, she rested her head on Drew’s shoulder and closed her eyes, taking in the smell of the fire, the cold air on her face, and the sounds of the guitar.

◆◆◆

“Mommy!” Gia yelled.

Gia had been using ‘Mom’ for a while now because she’d heard Kirsten call Kelly that a couple of years ago, and she’d thought it made her sound cooler to be like Kirsten, but whenever she missed Selma a lot, she returned to using ‘Mommy.’ Selma would be lying if she said she didn’t like it. She scooped her daughter up in a hug and held on to her in the lobby of the hotel, watching her grandma walk up behind them.

“Hi, baby,” Selma said. “How was your fun time with Grandma and Kirsten?”

“So much fun. Kirsten taught me how to braid hair, and Grandma let me stay up late.”

“She did, did she?” Selma eyed her grandmother playfully.

“By thirty minutes. And we were finishing a movie,” the woman replied.

Selma put Gia down and asked, “What are you doing right now?”

“We were about to eat. Want me to have them make you something?”

“I ate at the airport. But I can join you two.”

“Kirsten is here. She’s eating with me,” Gia announced.

“Why don’t you go over to the table with Kirsten, then. I’ll go upstairs to change and come back down in a minute, okay?”

“Okay.” Gia ran off like she always did.

“So?” Grandma asked.

“So?”

“How was it?”

“It was good. Thank you for watching her.”

“It was good? That’s all I get?”

“It was really good?” Selma asked more than said as she held on to her roller bag, thinking about how Drew had held on to the same handle when she’d dropped her off at the airport, refusing to let Selma take an Uber this time.

“Selma, you know what I’m asking here.” Her grandmother crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her right foot.

“Grandma, it was fun. We had a good time. Drew’s great.”

“And?”

“And what? Just tell me what you want me to say here. I want to get out of my airport clothes and find a cup of coffee.”

“Honey, did you tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you like her. Did you tell Drew Oakes that you like her? And not just as a friend you go visit from time to time, but as someone you’d like to date and… you know…”

“Grandma!” Selma laughed. “No, I didn’t tell her that. Why would I?”

“Because it’s how you feel.”

“Even if that was true, I can’t just tell her that.”

“Why not? I told your grandfather how I felt first. If I hadn’t, that man would have married Mae Trousseau instead of me.”

Selma smiled at her grandmother, loving the old stories of how she and Grandpa had gotten together.

“Drew is just… She’s Drew.”

“That’s her name, dear. It’s got nothing to do with who she is.”

“I had a crush on her. She was, like, my idol, Grandma. She’s the reason I snowboard.”

“No, she was the reason you picked up a snowboard. You still do it because you love it, and Drew Oakes has nothing to do with that. Besides, are you really standing here trying to convince me that just because you had a crush on her years ago, that you can’t use that smart head of yours to separate that from the very real feelings you clearly have for her right now?”

“She lives in another country, travels all the time, and–”

“Ah, hell.” The old woman waved her off. “You can keep bringing up excuses, but none of them will change how you feel about her. Did she ask you to call her or otherwise let her know when you got home safe?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“And you two talk a lot, and not just on the phone. I saw her face on your phone screen, Selma. And I know Gia sees her on her laptop, too.”

“So? We FaceTime sometimes.”

“You have such precious little time in your life for friends, even though I wish that weren’t the case, and you’ve spent so much of it with Drew recently. She’s spent her precious little time with you, too. Don’t you think that means something, Selma?”

“I think it means we could both use a friend, Grandma. And that’s what we are.”

“Okay. Okay.” Her grandmother held up her hands in supplication. “But Mae Trousseau, Selma. Mae Trousseau.”

“He was never going to marry her, Grandma. His mom wanted him to, sure, but he loved you already, and you know it.”

“Yes, but if I hadn’t told him how I felt first, he might not have had the courage to tell me.”

“Drew hasn’t exactly confessed anything to me, either.”

“Does she even know?”

Selma looked over at the long table, where Gia was sitting next to Kirsten, eating what looked to be a grilled cheese sandwich.

“I haven’t told her that I’m bisexual, no. So, unless you filled her in when she was here, I doubt she knows. I’ve never even dated a woman, Grandma. You know I’ve never…”

“I know that. Drew doesn’t, apparently, but I do. And I don’t know her well, but when she used to come by here, she’d sit and talk to me, Selma. She’s a good person. I can tell that much. So, if you’re worried about that, you just tell her, if it comes to it. Drew doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would care in the slightest. I’m pretty sure she’d be understanding, given the Gia of it all.”

“She’s… experienced.”

“Well, I didn’t think she was a virgin, honey. She’s in her mid-to-late thirties, isn’t she?”

Selma chuckled and said, “Yeah.”

“So, just talk to her, if you want; and only when you’re ready. I just want you to be happy, Selma. That’s all. I know you love Gia, and you don’t regret having her, but you’ve put her first to the detriment of your love life. She’s getting older now, so it might be time for you to try to fall in love for the first time. Don’t you think?” The woman gave Selma a kiss on her cheek and a short hug. “I’m going to get some work done. Gia will be fine with Kirsten. Take your time upstairs and come down when you’re ready.”

Selma stood there for a moment longer before she finally rolled her bag toward the elevator and pulled out her phone after pressing the button to go up.

Selma Driscoll: Hey, I’m home. Just wanted to let you know I’m good.

It didn’t take long for Drew to reply.

Drew Oakes: I’m glad. How was the flight?