32. Grace

Chapter 32

Grace

-Papa Roach – Forever-

Watching three of my mates leave with my three children breaks something deep inside me. My heart aches with an intensity that threatens to tear me apart. Shaking my head to clear the swirling emotions, I pull away from my remaining alpha mates and walk towards the pack house, my steps heavy with determination and pain.

“Grace, where are you going?” Griffin calls out, his voice tinged with worry. I hear the three of them following close behind, their footsteps echoing my own.

“To war,” I reply, a deep growl escaping my lips. The fire surges within my veins, igniting a fierce resolve. I know a choice stands before me, one that will alter everything.

“This isn’t like you,” Ethan says, his grip firm as he spins me to face him. His eyes search mine, desperate for understanding.

“You’re right, it’s not,” I say, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and sorrow. “Gentle Grace has never been taken seriously. Nice Grace has been a doormat her entire life.” I yank my arm back, tilting my head to look at him. “Lunar Grace is hailed as a gentle force to unify the packs. Yet an elder has decided to try to ravage the lands and take what is ours.” My teeth clench, and I cast my eyes to the ground, the weight of my words hanging in the air.

Nicolai steps closer, his eyes filled with a knowing sorrow. “There’s no going back if you’re going where I think you are,” he says softly, piecing together the unspoken truth.

A half-hearted laugh escapes me as I shake my head. “I know,” I whisper, looking up as I let my wolf rise to the surface. “What would you sacrifice for the ones you love?” The question lingers between us, heavy with meaning.

I turn and continue walking, not towards the path they expect, but down the one leading to the graveyard. The air grows colder, and the scent of earth and decay fills my senses. Here, among the memories of those we’ve lost, I seek the strength to confront the battle ahead.

The leaves crunch under my feet as I head towards the back, each step a crisp reminder of autumn’s presence. The huge weeping willow tree stands tall, its wispy limbs swaying gently in the breeze, casting intricate shadows on the ground. The air is filled with the earthy scent of fallen leaves and the faint rustle of the branches overhead.

Listening to the sounds around me, I can sense the presence of only one of my mates who followed me. By the familiar feel of his footsteps and the quiet way he moves, I know it’s Ethan. A sigh escapes my lips; he knows better than anyone the demon I wrestle within my chest.

Ethan’s presence is both a comfort and a reminder of my struggle. He approaches with a cautious yet unwavering resolve, aware of the delicate balance I maintain. His understanding eyes meet mine, silently acknowledging the battle raging inside me.

A made wolf, like myself, often teeters on the edge of rage, a precarious state that threatens to engulf us entirely. The rage in me now is a living thing, a beast clawing at the edges of my sanity, threatening to consume every fiber of my being. My breaths come heavy and labored, each one a fight to keep the darkness at bay.

“I’m scared,” I confess, my voice trembling as my eyes desperately search Ethan’s for some reassurance.

“I know. It’s why I’m here,” he responds, his voice tinged with resignation. I can only assume Nic told him what he had figured out.

“There are days I don’t feel like I’m in the right fur.” I raise my hands, staring at them intently. In the depths of my mind, I still see the blood of my ex staining my hands. Logically, I know it wasn’t my human side that did it, but the image haunts me.

“The stains of our past never leave,” Ethan murmurs as he sits on the bench he built near my grandmother’s headstone, a gesture of his love for me. “It doesn’t matter how justified the kill was, the stains never leave.”

I study Ethan, noting the weariness in his eyes as he looks at his own palms, likely seeing the same indelible marks on his hands that I see on mine. The air between us feels heavy with shared burdens, the scent of earth and grass mingling with the faint aroma of pine from the nearby trees.

“Does it get easier?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper as I move to sit next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. His warmth seeps into me, a slight comfort amidst the turmoil.

He sighs deeply, the sound carrying a lifetime of battles and regrets. “In some ways, yes. But in others, it just becomes a part of who you are. You learn to live with it, to carry it without letting it consume you.”

Ethan moves and angles his body, pulling me flush against his side. His warmth seeps into me, a comforting contrast to the chill of my inner turmoil. “As a born wolf, I don’t feel guilt the way you do,” he murmurs, his voice a low, soothing rumble. He presses his lips to the crown of my head, lingering there, the sensation both tender and grounding. His breath mingles with my hair, a quiet intimacy that speaks volumes.

Some days, I wish I had let Conrad make you. Maybe you wouldn’t be fighting yourself so hard,” he sighs, the sound heavy with unspoken regret, and he gives me a reassuring squeeze. His words pierce through the fog of my thoughts, a reminder of the complex web of choices that brought us here.

“I would have been dead. I have had your blood in me since I was five.” My voice trembles, a blend of defiance and vulnerability. I reach up, my fingers tracing the roughness of his cheek, feeling the stubble under my palm as I gently guide his face to meet mine. His eyes, deep and searching, lock onto mine, and in that moment, the world narrows to just the two of us.

“Nic was saying you’ve been struggling, and I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” A defeated growl escapes his lips, his breath warm against my skin as he lowers his forehead to mine. The raw vulnerability in his voice pulls at my heartstrings, making me acutely aware of the weight he’s been carrying.

“We’ve both been struggling,” I whisper, my voice soft and laden with shared sorrow. I cup his face gently, my thumb tracing the curve of his bottom lip. The familiar texture and warmth ground me, and I see the pain reflected in his eyes. “We need to make the woods safe enough to bring our children back. I hate having them gone.” A heavy sigh escapes me as I scoot closer, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, holding on as if he’s my only lifeline in a storm-tossed sea.

“It’s for their safety,” Ethan murmurs, his voice barely a whisper, each word tinged with regret. He rests his head on top of mine, the weight and scent of him a bittersweet comfort. The steady thump of his heart against my cheek is a reminder of the love that binds us, even as we navigate the darkness together.

“Grace...” Nicolai’s voice pulls me from the warmth of Ethan’s embrace. I turn to look at him, my heart heavy with worry. “We are going to do everything within our power to bring everyone home as fast as possible.” His words tremble slightly as he drops to his knees before me. I peer into his eyes, searching their depths, and find the torment and guilt that gnaws at him. He feels he’s failing us, that he’s not doing enough.

Ethan shifts, pulling me onto his lap, his muscular arms pressing my back against his chest. The comfort of his presence surrounds me, yet Nic’s anguish keeps my heart aching. I reach out, threading my fingers through Nic’s long hair, watching the chocolate strands slip through my fingers like silk. “I know, Nic,” I sigh, lowering my head and closing my eyes, letting my hand fall back onto my lap.

“Grace, I promise right here, right now, these woods will be safe again.” His voice is firm, filled with resolve, and when I meet his gaze, I see his eyes blazing with the power of his wolf. The intensity of his promise wraps around me like a protective shield.

“I believe you, Nic. I just miss my babies, I miss Barrett and Conrad and Lor.” My voice breaks, and I force a laugh, shaking my head. “I miss your mom popping up out of nowhere, or even Ethan’s mom being in the wrong place at the wrong time.” The laughter fades quickly, replaced by a heavy silence. “The next few weeks will make or break the Valley. We have to be prepared to go to war and win at any cost.”

My wolf whines within me, echoing my fears. She knows, as I do, that we might have to embrace the fire within us to survive. The thought burns in my chest, a mix of dread and determination. I just hope it doesn’t come to that. The weight of what lies ahead presses down on us, but for now, I cling to the promise in Nicolai’s eyes and the strength in Ethan’s arms.

“I know that look, Grace. Don’t even think about it.” Nicolai’s voice carries a tinge of alpha authority, and my wolf bristles in response, a shiver running down my spine.

“Don’t think about what?” Griffin steps into view, his gaze piercing as he kneels, bringing himself to my eye level.

“Grace has been contemplating embracing the ember wolf. I’ve sensed its power surging within her several times. It’s a war machine, far more ruthless then Ethan and I could ever be.” Nicolai’s words hang heavy in the air, and I close my eyes against the weight of them.

Ethan’s grip tightens around me, his presence a comforting anchor. He presses a tender kiss on the back of my neck, a silent vow of support. Unlike Nicolai and Griffin, Ethan has never dictated my actions. He will stand by me, whatever path I choose, consequences be damned.

“Baby girl, please reconsider.” Griffin’s voice is unusually soft, coaxing me to open my eyes and meet his earnest gaze.

“It’s the nuclear option, Griff. Our absolute last resort. I refuse to lose any of you. That is not an option.” My voice wavers, a soft growl escaping as the fight within me slowly ebbs away. The idea of such a profound change terrifies me to my core, yet I know I will embrace it if it means safeguarding my mates.

The tension is palpable, an almost tangible force pressing down on us. I can almost taste the fear mingling with the determination in the air. Every breath I take is heavy with the weight of what lies ahead. I draw strength from Ethan’s unwavering support, Griffin’s earnest plea, and Nicolai’s fierce protectiveness. Despite my fear, I know I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. The ember wolf’s power thrums beneath my skin, a silent promise of the lengths I will go to for my family.

“Like I said, it’s the nuclear option. If we can’t defeat whatever it is we’re faced with, then…” I trail off, the weight of my words settling heavily around us. Shifting on Ethan’s lap, I turn to face him, searching his eyes for strength and reassurance. “We let the wolves take control and clear the field. Kill everything that stands between us and the peace this valley deserves.”

Ethan meets my gaze with unwavering resolve, giving me a single solemn nod before his lips brush tenderly against mine. The kiss is brief but filled with unspoken promises. Drawing back, I turn my focus to Nicolai. “Don’t hold back. I know I won’t be holding back.”

Nicolai’s nod is firm, his expression mirroring the gravity of the situation. His eyes, dark and intense, hold a promise of fierce protection. I then look at Griffin, whose face is a storm of emotions. His eyes, usually so calm and collected, are wild with concern and fear.

“You’re probably going to be the only one able to pull me back from the brink. I love you, Griff.” My voice softens as I reach out, my fingers tracing the contours of his face. He leans into my touch, his warmth seeping into my palm, grounding me.

“I love you too, baby girl. I don’t agree with this plan, but I know it’s the last resort.” His voice is strained, and when he looks up at me, a piece of my heart shatters. The pain in his eyes is a wound I can’t heal.

“We stand together. Failure is not an option.” Ethan’s voice from behind me is a steady anchor, and we all nod in unison. A silent pact formed in the afternoon’s fading light. Tomorrow promises to be a whirlwind of activity and danger.

What I haven’t told my mates is that our home is about to become the epicenter of the rebellion against the council. The thought of the looming battle tightens a knot in my stomach, but I push it down, focusing on the strength of the bond we share. Together, we will face whatever comes, and we will fight for the peace our valley deserves.

To be continued in the conclusion of the series…

Finding Forever with the Alpha Pack