31. Conrad

Chapter 31

Conrad

-No Angels- Stellar-

A part of my heart is leaving this morning, and I can’t take it. Griffin offered to wake the trio, and hearing Grace’s cries nearly kills me. I stay frozen next to the RV, waiting for everyone to come out. My heart thunders in my chest, the heavy bass of it in my ears drowning out all reason. Instinct drives me to rush into the house, scoop Barrett into my arms, and hide him away in my room. But the babies need him.

Sighing, I glance over my shoulder at my mother and Nicolai’s parents boarding the RV with the babies. Knowing the former alpha is accompanying my family offers some comfort. A second truck, towing a camper, is parked behind the RV. Betas from both packs are going along as security.

My traitorous heart stumbles as the front door opens and Griffin steps out. Behind him, Barrett and Grace lead Lorcan outside. I open and close my hands, yearning to snatch Barrett away. He lifts his eyes and they meet mine. Time seems to stop, and my breath catches in my lungs as Barrett and I stare at each other.

The morning air is crisp, tinged with the scent of pine and earth, but it does little to soothe the ache within me. The sound of the RV’s engine rumbles softly, a distant reminder that the moment of departure is imminent. My eyes trace every detail of Barrett’s face, memorizing the curve of his cheek, the way his hair falls across his forehead. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away, refusing to let them fall.

Grace’s cries continue, muffled now by the walls of the RV, and they twist my heart into tighter knots. Lorcan, ever the stoic one, clutches Grace’s hand, his eyes wide and uncertain. I can see the weight of this separation bearing down on all of them, yet it’s Barrett’s gaze that holds me captive.

For a fleeting moment, everything else fades away—the RV, the looming journey, the responsibilities awaiting them. It’s just the two of us, connected by an invisible thread of love and longing. My heart aches knowing that soon he’ll be far from my reach, and I can’t protect him from the world outside. But I know he must go, for the sake of the babies, for our future.

Barrett breaks away from the others and sprints toward me. He slams into my chest, and I don’t hesitate, wrapping him up in my arms and kissing the crown of his head. His heart thunders against my ribs, beating as hard and as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.

Soft, muffled whimpers escape his lips as he buries his forehead against my chest. My hand slides up the back of his head, holding him to me, feeling the fine strands of his hair. My heart aches, nearly breaking at how sad he is. “Shhh, it won’t be for long,” I whisper, my words meant for Barrett alone.

“I don’t know where we’re going,” he murmurs, looking up at me with tears rimming his beautiful eyes, their shimmer reflecting the afternoon light.

“That’s for everyone’s safety,” I say, lowering my mouth to his ear so only he can hear. “Uri is taking the family somewhere only he knows. You and the babies will be safe.” I press my lips to his temple, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath them.

Looking up, I see Grace sandwiched between Ethan and Nicolai, their faces etched with concern. Griffin stands off to the side, deep in conversation with Uri, both of them focused on something displayed on Uri’s phone. The tension in the air is palpable, but I hold Barrett tighter, determined to reassure him amid the uncertainty.

I nestle Barrett snugly under my arm and make my way over to where Grace and the guys are gathered. Grace’s tearful gaze meets mine, her bottom lip quivering as she struggles to hold back her emotions. With a soft whimper, she breaks free from Ethan and Nic’s embrace and rushes into my arms. She sandwiches Barrett between us. We hold each other tightly, tears mingling as we find solace in our shared grief.

Stepping back, I watch as they cling to each other, seeking comfort in their sorrow. Lorcan catches my eye, leaning against the porch post with a solemn expression. Moving slowly through the group, I approach him, offering a gentle touch to his shoulder to let him know I’m there.

“Are you okay?” I ask softly, my voice barely above a whisper, filled with concern.

“As good as I can be,” he replies, his attempt at a smile strained. He extends his hand to me, a silent request for assistance. “Mind helping me to the RV so I can settle in? Grace said her goodbyes to me inside.”

“Of course,” I reply, offering my support as he navigates down the porch steps. With his hand resting on my shoulder, I guide him towards the RV, the weight of his uncertainty palpable in the air.

Once we reach our destination, I gently place his hand on the rail inside the RV, ensuring he’s steady before he disappears into its depths. “Be safe,” I murmur, my voice tinged with a mixture of worry and affection. “And remember to call often.”

"I will," he assures me, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Hopefully, we'll be back home before Christmas." His words hang in the air, a bittersweet promise, before he disappears into the RV, leaving behind a lingering sense of longing that tugs at my heart.

Turning swiftly on my heels, I make my way back to Grace and the guys. Barrett, ever the affectionate one, is stealing snuggles from everyone, his laughter a bright spot in the tense atmosphere. He breaks away and charges toward me like a whirlwind, his exuberance infectious. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around him, drawing him close as we start our journey back towards the RV. The warmth of his body against mine is a fleeting comfort in these uncertain times.

“Lor is already on the bus, along with the babies,” I murmur softly, my voice a mixture of reassurance and determination. “You have the strength and drive to protect them. You’re a fierce father and guardian. I love you, Barrett.” My fingers gently cup his cheek, and I lean in, devouring his lips hungrily. It's an instinctual response, a desperate attempt to convey everything I feel in that fleeting moment.

With the shadow of uncertainty looming over us, the possibility that not all of us may see Christmas, I pour my love, my heart, and soul into that kiss. Barrett is the only man who has ever held my heart, and in that kiss, I try to convey all the depth of my feelings. The taste of him, familiar and intoxicating, mixes with the salt of my unshed tears.

Reluctantly, we break apart, our gaze locked in a silent exchange of love and understanding. “I love you too, Conrad. With every fiber of my being,” Barrett whispers, his hand tenderly cupping my cheek, his eyes lingering on my lips for a heartbeat longer. The weight of his words and the intensity of his gaze make my heart ache with both love and fear.

“When you get back,” I say, my voice steady despite the underlying turmoil, “we’ll plan our wedding. Maybe start looking into styles you’d like for us? Put together a palette, and we can FaceTime to share ideas.” A smile tugs at my lips, genuine and hopeful. Perhaps giving him a task will help pass the time, a distraction from the uncertainties that await.

Barrett nods sadly, his eyes drifting back toward the bus. “I would make a wonderful spring groom.” He forces a smile, and I can see right through it. Deep in my chest, it feels like both our hearts are breaking.

“You will make a wonderful groom no matter what the season. You are the lucky one that every color loves your complexion.” I breathe in his scent as deeply as I can and press my lips to his. Despite my efforts to stay strong for him, I can’t fake it. The ache is too real, too consuming.

Barrett’s fingers thread through my hair, holding me close. The warmth of his touch is a bittersweet comfort. Suddenly, I feel a gentle pressure on my shoulder. I pull away from Barrett and look down to see Grace standing there, her lithe hands resting on me.

“If you really want to go with them, you can.” She smiles and nods, her gaze flitting between us. “Two alphas are better than one.” Her eyes, wide and earnest, dart between mine and Barrett’s.

“Are you sure, Grace?” I ask, pulling her between us, needing her reassurance.

“I basically have the riders of the apocalypse as mates. You’ve always been more brains than brawn, Con. I would feel better if you kept my children and my other mates safe.” Grace is giving me an out, understanding the turmoil within me. She knows that with Barrett far away, my focus would be fractured, my heart half-missing.

My gaze drifts from Grace over to my brothers and Nicolai. “Are you sure you don’t need me?” I ask, my voice tinged with a mix of determination and doubt. I may not be as big or strong as they are, but I can still fight.

“Like Grace said, two alphas are better than one. Keeping the babies safe is your priority. I know Grace would be a mess and unable to focus if she had to constantly worry about the babies’ safety,” Nicolai offers, glancing over at Ethan.

“The days ahead are going to get violent and bloody. Unfortunately, that’s not your thing. You’ve got good instincts for sensing danger. Use that to protect the babies and our bond mates. Especially Mom—you know how she gets,” Ethan says, arching a brow. I can’t help but laugh a little. Mom, the size of a large dog when she shifts, is the smallest of all of us. Yet, with her fiery temper, she thinks she’s a bear shifter.

“Yeah, I do. It’s gonna be hell to keep her out of trouble. Especially with this one with us,” I tease, tugging playfully on Barrett’s hair. The strands slip through my fingers, soft and familiar, and his mock indignation draws laughter from everyone.

“Hey! I am not trouble,” he pouts, his lips curving into a playful scowl. His expression is so exaggerated it’s impossible not to laugh, and soon Griffin is struggling to stifle his own chuckles.

“No, not you...” Griffin tries to say, but his laughter cuts him off.

“We leave in ten minutes,” Uri calls out, his voice firm as he guides his mate into the RV. The air buzzes with a mix of excitement and anxiety, the scent of pine and earth mingling with the smell of gasoline. The energy is infectious, and I can feel my heart racing.

Mom darts out from the house, her energy almost palpable as she rushes to hug and kiss Grace, Ethan, and Griffin. The warmth of her embrace and the scent of her familiar perfume linger as she moves to Nicolai, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Keep Gracie safe,” she urges, her voice wavering slightly. Grace’s pout at this makes me smile despite the tension.

Mom approaches me, her eyes reflecting a mixture of urgency and sorrow. “We need to get going. Say your goodbyes and let Barrett get in the RV.” She hugs and kisses me. The pressure of her arms and the softness of her lips on my cheek make me feel like a child being left behind.

“I’m coming with you. What kind of alpha would I be if I didn’t keep my family safe?” I raise my chin slightly, channeling the stern confidence that Dad used to exude. Pride and determination swell in my chest.

Mom’s eyes widen slightly before a soft smile forms on her lips, a single tear escaping down her cheek. “You look just like him when you do that.” Her smile falters, and for a brief moment, I see the pain of her memories. She gives everyone a last wave before boarding the RV, her silhouette framed against the setting sun, casting long shadows that seem to pull us all into the journey ahead.

I give Barrett a pat on his ass and send him to board the RV. “I’ll keep in touch and turn off my GPS on the phone so I can’t be tracked.” The resolve in my voice is firm, but my heart flutters with the weight of the decision. I pull Grace against me, feeling the warmth of her body as I walk her back to my brothers and Nicolai.

“Good thinking,” Griffin says, his tone approving yet edged with concern. “We won’t call until we hear from you that you’ve got the encryption set up.” He walks over to Nic’s SUV and hands me a case, his expression serious. “Nic and I put this together in case we decided it was safer for you to go with the children.”

I take the briefcase, its weight solid and reassuring in my hands. With a quick flick, I pop it open. Inside, it’s packed with stacks of cash, several devices for making IDs, and state-of-the-art encryption equipment. My gaze darts between the three other alphas standing before me, their faces etched with unspoken words, then over to Grace.

Her eyes meet mine with a mix of understanding and sadness. “I knew in my heart you would choose to go with Barrett,” she says, her voice gentle and tinged with bittersweet acceptance. She steps closer, her smile sweet yet tinged with a hint of sorrow. “He is your first love. And that’s great. I hope there will always be a space in your heart for me.”

Her words tug at my heart, and I feel a lump rise in my throat. She leans in, and our lips meet in a soft, lingering kiss, a moment of tenderness amidst the chaos. The scent of her hair, the warmth of her touch, it all imprints on my senses, a memory to carry with me as I step into the unknown.

I crack a smile as I lean down and kiss Grace once more. “Always and forever,” I whisper, quoting one of her favorite lines from a TV show she still loves to watch in reruns.

A brilliant blush blooms across her cheeks, spreading like the petals of a delicate rose, as she smiles shyly. “Always and forever, Con,” she echoes back, her voice soft and filled with emotion. She kisses me gently, her lips a tender promise, then hesitantly steps back, her eyes never leaving mine.

I can see the struggle in her gaze, the effort she’s making to be strong for my sake. It twists something deep inside me, a mixture of love and pain. Gently, I pass Grace back to Ethan, feeling the warmth of her hand slipping from mine. I turn and walk over to the RV, each step feeling heavier than the last. Climbing inside, I head straight for the table by the window and sit down, my eyes glued to the scene outside.

Grace is hiding her face against Ethan’s chest, her shoulders trembling slightly. The sight tugs at my heartstrings, making it harder to breathe. With everything that Nic and Griffin have given me, I’m determined to strike the elders where it hurts most—financially.

The RV starts moving, a low rumble beneath my feet, and I watch as my mate and brothers wave us off, their figures growing smaller with each passing moment. My heart aches, a physical pain that lingers long after they disappear from view. But I have to protect the babies and our bond mates. I cling to the hope that this trip won’t last long, that I’ll be back in their arms soon.