Chapter 3

THREE

Cassia

Bathing has never been so glorious. Today's bath was better than yesterday's in a way I can't explain. The water feels warmer. The scented oils are stronger. Everything is elevated. I feel renewed, like I peeled off my shell and emerged as someone completely different.

Which is what I desperately needed. Even if I make it a speedy bath. Whatever Lady Nova needs, it better be good. And if it's to scold me for not babysitting the princes, I'm going to be pissed.

After I'm done, I find the softest clothes in my drawers and pull them on with a sigh. The movements awaken the aches in my still healing body, especially my wrists and ankle, but I refuse to let the pain ruin my afterglow from the bath. Baths, clean clothes, a warm bed… life isn't that bad.

If this is what it means to be queen, then I might have to say yes.

My mind goes to that night around the campfire when the princes healed me, and the connection between us became a searing heat I couldn't ignore any longer. When their touch made me feel alive in a way I never have before. If that's what it means to be queen, I can handle that too. Which is nice. Wasn't I terrified by the idea just a little while ago?

These princes are wearing me down, and maybe I don't mind it.

As I'm heading out of the bathroom, I freeze. Someone has tidied my room and laid out trays of food. It's a freaking banquet of eggs, bacon, ham, breads, quiches, and even desserts.

So. Much. Food. For me. Just sitting here.

The sight makes my stomach turn and my eyes burn. My family was going to starve just a short time ago unless I found a miracle. Even without a miracle, life was all about surviving and scraping by. A feast like this… it would never have been within my grasp. I was lucky to serve food like this… Eating it ? It would have never happened.

And now? My family was happy. The new potions were working. My father and grandmother were relaxing and enjoying life. Fae were serving them . Life had changed in an instant.

How? And did I deserve this?

For some reason, all I want is for my men to suddenly appear and wrap me in their arms. Maybe even tell me that they care about me, not because of the potion, but because I'm special to them.

Some part of me knows that's insane. I'm just a human. A nobody. All of this will vanish in the blink of an eye if anyone sees the lies hanging over me like a cloak, but I'm starting to feel like maybe, just maybe, the lies can stay hidden and this life for my family and I can be real.

Real? All of this?

Maybe I don't deserve it, but does it matter? The miracle I needed was that potion and the princes. With it, my family is safe in a way they never could have been before. No matter what happens moving forward, I have to remember that. I don't deserve this, but my family does, so whatever soul-crushing secrets I have to keep to give them this life, I'm going to keep.

There's a bump from the balcony. Confused, I open the big doors. On the balcony ledge stands a dead raven. Its eyes are missing. Flesh hangs off of its body, but apparently enough feathers are left that it was able to make it here. What the hell?

It moves strangely, cocking its head. I study it. "Uh, did you need something?"

Stiffening, it suddenly falls backwards. I dive forward, I don't know why, and watch it plummet until it strikes the ground below.

"That was weird. Really weird."

Is this a fae thing? Do dead animals regularly visit their balconies? Was someone sending these creatures after me to send a message? Or as a gift? I hate that I've worked for the fae all my life and yet I seem to know so little about them.

I shake my head, looking away from the spot the bird fell, then stare out at the horizon. The early morning glow from the sun is just barely peeking above the treetops. The sight eases something in my chest, even though there's still an uncomfortable ball in my stomach. It urges me to inspect why a table full of food made me feel so bad .

"But introspection is for the wealthy," I tell myself, followed by a humorless laugh. Then I turn back to my room. "Or am I wealthy now?"

It's all too much to think about. Overwhelming in a way I'm not prepared for. Breakfast might be necessary before I continue analyzing myself.

I go back inside and stare at the table in front of me. The breakfast spread is overindulgent, as usual for this palace. There are five different kinds of pastries, eggs cooked in every way imaginable, three different types of toasted bread, and all varieties of bacon and ham that exist.

I don't need all this food.

Even though not that long ago, I would have given anything for this.

Hands shaking, I make a normal-sized plate, knowing that the house staff might sneak what I don't finish, and start eating. The instant the food touches my tongue, I groan. Everything tastes delicious. Cook is really on her game today. Speaking of which, I'll have to go visit her sometime soon. She doesn't like the royals in her kitchen, but I suspect she'll make an exception for me.

Halfway through my plate, I come up for air and realize that Lady Nova hasn't returned yet. She jumped down my throat thirty minutes ago about being concerned about the princes and needing to talk, and now she's missing in action. Seriously, is this a war fae thing?

Feeling agitated for reasons I don't understand, I go out on the balcony to finish the rest of the food. I sit in a corner on the floor and just soak in the slight chill of the tile.

Within moments, I sense movement in my bedroom and freeze. A feminine voice slices through the silence. " The princes are definitely gone." That's Dessi, a maid I've worked with more times than I can count and the best source for any rumors. I'm eager to hear about any rumors if they concern the princes.

"Yeah, but I heard," this girl, Hanna, lowers her voice, "that they're not coming back."

What?

Dessi scoffs. "Who told you that?"

Yeah, who told her that? After all the wooing those four have done, I doubt they'd just take off and abandon me. Maybe they're just pissed about my rejection of them, if you could even call it that. I wasn't telling them I never wanted to marry them or never wanted to be with them, just that I needed more time.

I feel a headache forming.

Now it's Hanna's turn, and she sounds insulted. "I don't know where I heard it, but I know the elders are freaking out, all the fae are going nuts, and the elders are assembling a massive party of fae to return the princes. They're calling the princes fools, saying they're love sick idiots."

Love sick idiots, but they left me? I have to hold down a snort of laughter. No. I don't think so. Something else is happening here.

"What do you think this is going to mean for us?" Dessi asks softly, sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

To my surprise, Hanna sounds nervous when she responds, too. "Nothing good. As annoying as the fae royals are, they offer us protection. If something happens to them, the iron demons will flood our lands. And you know what happens then."

Blood. Death. Destruction. Carnage. The history books paint a pretty damn accurate picture .

"We humans will hurt the most then. We'll be recruited to fight on the front lines, even though if history is any indicator our bodies will just be there to slow them down," Dessi says.

My heart aches. She's right, but it's not going to come to that. Wherever the princes are, I'm sure they'll be back soon. They wouldn't just leave. Not me, or their people.

"Maybe Cassia can do something about it," Dessi suggests.

I stiffen. Me? What the hell can I do about some runaway princes?

"Depends how much she's changed since all this queen stuff. Is she like us now, or them? Is she going to care what happens to us when she knows she's safe?" Hanna's words feel like a blow. Of course I still care about them! Everyone has to know that if I become queen, I'm never going to forget where I came from. Right?

"We'll have to wait and see. The fae are trying to go easy on her after her kidnapping. It's kind of funny. If they had any idea what she was used to, they wouldn't be coddling her like that." Dessi's words end on a tired laugh.

At least she has my back. Sort of.

Hanna laughs too, but the sound is further away. "Having a fae queen who lived a human life hopefully means good things for all of us. Again, if she doesn't let the royal life change her too much."

Then there's silence. I sense that they're gone, and I slowly finish my plate of food. Rumors are funny things. They usually have some truth in them, but how much is always the question. My gut says the princes left. Maybe because they were angry I turned them down. Maybe just because they needed some space. But they'll be back. Of course they'll be back !

Standing, I return to the table full of food and set my plate beside it, careful to make sure to leave everything as neat as possible. Then I sit down in a chair and stare at the spread, wondering what I should do next. Visit my family again? Go find out more about the rumors? Look for Lady Nova?

My door slams open, and I jump out of my seat. Lady Nova strides in, and in a move that's both arrogant and elegant, she sits in the chair opposite mine. Without looking at me, her hands immediately dig into the platter of scrambled eggs, and she starts eating like forks and knives haven't been invented yet.

I try not to stare. And fail.

"Hello again," I say, settling back into my chair.

She gives me a head nod and paws at a piece of ham that she shoves into her already full mouth.

Okay, so not all fae have table manners. Good to know. And not at all disgusting.

"Good," she says, little ham pieces spitting from her mouth as she speaks.

Do not vomit on the pastries. Do not vomit on the pastries.

"Is the way you're eating normal for the fae, because I've never actually sat and had a meal with one?" I probably shouldn't have asked, but I can't help myself.

She gives me a funny look. "It's normal for the War Fae and many of the Fall Fae. We're not as concerned with being perfect." Then she licks a piece of food off her finger.

I snort, ignoring what she just did. "There's being perfect, and then there's being disgusting. Maybe shoot for something in the middle. Especially with just how much food you're wasting and ruining. The servants could eat what's left if you weren't so gross with it."

She looks shocked. "The servants eat what we leave?"

"We barely make enough to not starve, so, yeah."

She glances down at what she's doing and smears her hands on a napkin before eating a little more politely. "Okay, got it, I'll eat more politely before we have our talk, but someone should probably do something about the servant problem."

Someone should. Maybe me. If I ever become queen.

I wait for her to keep talking. She says nothing.

"So," I begin, trying not to sound too annoyed. "You wanted to talk about the princes?" I put an apple pastry on my plate and pull some flakes off of it, but my appetite isn't quite what it was after watching half-chewed food decorating the table.

Lady Nova grabs a cup of juice and takes a giant swig. She pushes it towards me as if she's offering me back my cup. I frown. I don't want that drink anymore. She can use it. Hell, she can take it with her. Or burn it.

"I might as well, since everyone's talking about it anyway," she says, but she doesn't keep talking.

Come on, lady, just out with it. This isn't a game of cat and mouse. You have something to say. I want to hear it. Let's just do this thing. Or are the war fae's communication skills as good as their table etiquette?

"Ok, so?" I ask, trying not to sound as annoyed as I feel.

"So it looks like the princes aren't coming back. At least, that's what I heard from my servants, and you know their information's the best there is." She chews loudly, with even more food falling out of her mouth. This time, chunks of bread .

I'm in disbelief though. Not because of the rumor. More so because after all Lady Nova's research, which I'm sure she's been doing a lot of, this was the conclusion. And she believes it. Something this crazy!

"What makes the servants think they're gone for good?"

Lady Nova shrugs. "Some of the princes' most important items were taken along with them, mostly significant jewelry. Prince Forrest gave away every puppy from a litter he's been watching. Apparently, he had plans to have his pick of the litter when they got older. Prince Cobar burned some bridges with some fae who were hoping their daughters might be eventually considered to have the honor of being his lovers. From what was said, he wasn't just firm but rude and aggressive, not two words that are often used to describe Prince Cobar. Prince Sulien told the servants that his room could be used for any fae who need it moving forward. Prince Frost sent a few letters home, which he never does."

My heart drops, but she keeps going.

"What was even stranger is that everything was done in a rush. It seemed Prince Frost wrote the letters a day before he left, but then woke his servant in the early hours of that morning to send out the letters for him. Prince Cobar had the fight with the other fae while they were leaving a late-night party, and he was dressed for the road. Even Prince Forrest woke a servant with his list of choices for who the puppies should go to. People were too tired and irritated to ask much at the time. But their actions, combined with what servants overheard about their deal with the House of Death, suggests that whatever deal they made, they won't be returning home."

No. This can't be possible .

"Why wouldn't they come back? They're princes! I mean, are they just going to a different court?" That might make sense. A little time spent in the Spring Fae lands surrounded by beautiful fae might be just what they need.

To my surprise, just the thought bothers me.

"You're promised to all four of them, and you don't know why they wouldn't come back?" She licks her fingers and wipes them down the front of her shirt.

I glare, growing tired of this conversation. "I don't know them at all. You realize that, right? I knew Prince Sulien as a child, but the other three are strangers to me. Prince Sulien's a stranger to me." I clench my fists. Everyone keeps assuming I'm madly in love with them. That's the furthest thing from the truth.

Kind of.

She shrugs.

My jaw tightens. "Look, just tell me what you know."

She regards me for a long minute. Her pointy ears twitching ever-so-subtly, and her green eyes fill with mischief. "Ok, I'll give you the truth." She smooths down the front of her shirt and sits up straighter. "They made a deal with the House of Death to find you."

"A deal with the House of Death? What kind of deal? Why the House of Death?" The questions tumble out of my mouth.

Lady Nova ignores them. "They've gone back to pay the price for the help they got. No one knows how long it'll take. But knowing the House of Death, if they had to return to fulfill the deal, it could take some time. The House of Death doesn't follow the court rules as well as the rest of us."

Pay the price. What price? My mind races, thinking about how persistent they were with getting an answer out of me about whether or not I was willing to marry them, and how hurt they were when I said no. They left with that on their minds. It was the last conversation we had.

My heart aches. They deserve better. I need to be better.

"What can we do?"

Her expression says she takes offense at the word we in my question. "The elders have a plan set into action. They sent out an enormous party to try to make a trade with the House of Death for them. To get the princes out of whatever deal they made to save your life."

I feel like I can suddenly breathe. "Thank goodness."

They made a deal for me. They shouldn't have to suffer because they helped me, a woman who couldn't even agree to marry them.

Lady Nova glares. "No, don't relax. Fae who give their word are bound to it. If they took on a stupid deal, which they probably did in desperation to get you back, they can't get out of it. They have to uphold their end of it, and I seriously doubt some big fae group visiting them will change that."

Did they just ride off to their deaths? Are they doomed? All for me? The House of Death doesn't exactly sound like the kind of place you should make a deal with.

My heart pounds, and my hands begin to tremble. I put them on my lap, so Lady Nova doesn't see.

"Whatever it is," I begin, "it has to be bad, right? We're talking about the House of Death. I don't know much about it, but I can't imagine they make sweet, easy deals to help."

Lady Nova nods. "The elders' party is going to take way too long to get there too. You simply can't move quickly with a group that large."

What? What the hell? Then they shouldn't have sent such a large group. If the princes need help, they need help now, just like I did when they came for me. We can't waste that kind of time.

"Well, that doesn't work for me. I'm going to get them myself." I push myself back from the table and stand, a plan slowly forming in my mind.

Heading to the dresser, I begin to pack a bag.

Lady Nova gives an unkind laugh, but I ignore her. "It took four princes, a deal with the House of Death, and a bloodbath to save you from your kidnappers. Do you really think saving them will be that easy? Do you really think you can just get on a horse, find them, and undo the deal?"

"I never said it would be easy. I just said I'm going to do it." I'm throwing clothes in my bag. I've got my blade in one of my drawers, and I search each of them trying to find which one.

"So, you're confident that you'll make it through this journey and through a discussion with the House of Death to break a deal they made?" She's amused. I don't care.

Ignoring her, I smile when I find my blade and place it on my bed. I sift through my clothing until I find something to wear that I can travel in and fight in, if I need to. I can ask a servant to throw together some food and supplies and ask them to get a horse saddled for me. Then I should be ready to go.

"So you're going to go head to head with the House of Death? With Lady Grave? A woman who has probably already had a premonition about all of this and will be prepared for your arrival, one way or another? With the Keeper of Death? A woman who is among the most powerful of the fae?" Lady Nova questions me, like I'm not thinking things through.

I'm not, but it doesn't matter. All I need to do is find the princes, and we can work through whatever the hell else is going on. I might not have awesome fae powers, but I have a brain, and I've been kicked around enough to be able to handle more than Lady Nova seems to think.

Lady Nova snorts when I don't respond. "You'll all end up dead."

I snap. "If you're not going to help, then at least shut the hell up!" I close my bag and face her, daring her to say another snotty comment.

Lady Nova grins. "Fine, I'll help you find the House of Death and make sure you don't die while you're out there. You have my word."

"Help me?" I'm honestly surprised.

Her grin widens. "Why did you think I was here? I'm from the House of War. There's nothing we like better than a dangerous quest."

It's weird. I think this woman might be insane, but she's also the only person who might help me with this crazy plan. Plus, it'd be good to have a House of War fae at my side.

Her expression turns serious. "We can't tell anyone else the plan. You're the future queen, and they wouldn't let you go if they find out. Or, worse, they'll assemble another huge party to go with you and it'll slow us down."

Wow. She's right. I'm not just Cassia the maid any longer. I don't have the freedom to just disappear into the morning light. I just hope no one thinks I've gone missing again .

"Got it. We'll do this quietly," I say.

"Finish getting ready. I'll get us more supplies and have the horses ready." She heads out of my room, and I stand there, calming my breathing and mentally preparing for the journey ahead.

Princes, hold on, I'm coming for you. You saved me once, it's my turn now.