Chapter 13

* * *

ERIS

"Hey,"Colton began in between bites of dinner and looking at her across the table. "I had a thought and wanted to run it past you."

"Sure?" she replied idly, picking at the green beans on her plate and wishing she'd actually put a little more salt in them. They tasted bland and not smoky in the slightest despite the slices of bacon she'd put in there to flavor them.

"I was thinking that I'd work on the bathroom next," he began slightly. "I picked out some tile, and it's waiting in the garage to be installed… but I wanted your opinion before I did it."

"I'm sure it's fine."

"Eris," he sighed… and she chuckled, already aware of what he was about to say. He hated the noncommittal answers and always had – truthfully, she'd been distracted and got caught red-handed. Setting down her fork, she looked at him, smiling.

"Okay… okay," she interrupted before he could start. "I would love to see the tile you chose for the bathroom – and maybe I could help? What are your plans for the bathroom? I noticed that the showerhead leaks, and there is a crack in the tile near the soap dish."

"I wish it were just a crack," he muttered and nodded. "I'm wanting to almost gut the entire thing. The showerhead is getting replaced, the handle, and all the backerboard because it's gotten soft. I want to build an inset to hold shampoo and soap instead of using a soap dish."

"That sounds like a good idea to me," she hesitated. "So, what did you want to run past me?"

"Well, I thought maybe we'd make it a shower… instead of a tub – or we could replace the tub with something bigger," he said evasively, looking away. "One of the guys had mentioned it a few weeks ago because I wanted to modernize the bathroom, but…"

"Zane's evening bath."

"Exactly."

"He could take a shower. He's getting old enough to…"

"What if we have more children someday, Eris?"

That softly spoken question said so much. There was a silence between them as they looked at each other, neither moving, and both waiting for something to happen. He was practically tossing it out there between them, planning for the future and asking her opinion, waiting for the fallout. While the idea of having another child seemed so strange, that was only because she hadn't allowed herself to dream – until now.

Now, things were different in a way she never expected, and everything she could have wished for or asked for was there before her, waiting. She could have still been mad or upset, but what would that solve?

"When Zane was a baby," she whispered, not looking away from Colton's warm eyes. "I used to bathe him in the kitchen sink. There are plastic bathtubs you can buy to keep the child safe, but for me a sink worked best. I never bathed him in a tub until he was older."

"If we took out the tub and put a glass wall… we'd have a large enclosure to shower in," he said huskily – and she swallowed in awareness. "We could use river rock along the bottom, so no one slips. Maybe put some candles along the ledge and a towel warmer?"

"I see."

"Does that sound like," he began and cleared his throat nervously. "Does that sound like something you might like… someday?"

"It sounds, um, shower… yes," she choked out erratically, feeling her cheeks flush. "That sounds awfully, um…"

"Yeah, it is."

"We can put a bench in there… for, well..."

"Zane?"

"Yeah."

"I wike that idea," Zane volunteered. "I can shower like a big boy."

"Yeah, you can, buddy," Colton grinned sheepishly, looking a little nervous as he met her smile. "Is it warm in here?"

"A little," she admitted, chuckling.

"I can probably get most of it demolished and taken down tomorrow. I should be okay, but we might have to corral him out of the bathroom if things get exposed."

"You would…"

"Wires," he chuckled and smiled at her. "If I take down the tile and redo some of the walls, it might expose wiring… and tile can get sharp."

"Oh, of course," she muttered, her face still feeling flushed at the picture Colton was painting for them. He wanted a future and that would involve more children someday with her.

"But…"

"Yes?"

"If I do all of that, it means that I might delay in going to the store," he said quietly. His meatloaf was already cut into small bites – yet he was still cutting it into even tinier pieces. He was obviously trying to play it cool about, and her mind clicked.

Ohhhhhh,she thought, hesitating.

"I was going to go get a twin bed, but if I start the bathroom – then I will need to finish it before my next shift," he replied, beginning again… and still cutting his food idly. "It's whatever you want, you know? I'm positive I can finish the bathroom in two days, but if I need to run and get another bedframe…"

"Colton, put down your knife," she ordered hoarsely, feeling a smile touch her lips as she realized what he was doing. His eyes looked up and met hers as he slowly set down his knife, waiting.

"What do you want to do?"

"We're both adults."

"And married…"

"With a past," she reminded him softly.

"But there is also a future there if we choose," he said openly, staring at her. "We can take our time, be adults about all of this… and nothing says that we have to hop right into the deep end. We're dog paddling, remember?"

"I remember."

"We could… ah, empty the bathroom this evening and start first thing – or…?"

"Or we could save the money, take our time, and just sleep like any other husband and wife," she finished and fought back a smile as his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, cleared his throat, and then spoke.

"Whatever you want."

"Mama, is dere pie?" Zane chimed in, causing her to look away from Colton's warm gaze toward their son. He was sitting there, smiling at her, looking so happy that she knew.

There would always be disagreements, misunderstandings, and stresses from everyday life… but knowing you had someone in your world to love you, take care of you, and share in all those precious moments was everything. Her apartment had been cozy, but being here as a little family felt so good in a way she never imagined.

Eris could ‘see' another booster seat or a highchair in the future. She pictured moments just like this morning where Colton would come home, kissing, loving, and playful with her, and she could imagine afternoon naps where he would be lying on the couch with the children cozied up to him.

Children made with love.

She silently got up and cut the pie, bringing a sliver back to Zane and setting another beside Colton's plate, where he sat there, watching her and waiting. He wasn't pressuring her but allowing her to make the decisions for them, and she had.

"Let's save the money," she whispered softly. "And show me the tile after we finish."

"Are you sure?"

That hopeful, wistful question spoken so softly made her heart melt as she met his eyes and nodded.

* * *

Two hours later,Eris was washing the dishes as Colton was telling Zane a story. She listened, fascinated, thinking that he was reciting a fairy tale, only to realize that he wasn't.

"The prince wanted so much to make the mysterious princess happy that he stacked mattress upon mattress, wanting her to be comfortable… but she still couldn't sleep. He tried plying her with her favorite things, bringing her sleeping potions, adding even more mattresses. But do you know what his precious princess needed?"

"What did da' princess need?" Zane whispered, enthralled.

"She needed to feel safe and loved," Colton mumbled gently. "See, it didn't matter what the bedraggled princess was wearing when she showed up at the castle because nothing would ease that fear deep in her heart. Only the deepest feelings could wipe away those frightened monsters that kept her mind awake, preventing her sleep. But with her handsome prince nearby, she felt peaceful for the first time in ages."

"She did?"

"Oh yes," Colton said tenderly. "See, the princess knew just how much the prince was devoted to her, how he would do anything to make her happy… and she felt safe knowing that."

"Why?"

"Because sometimes you can't allow yourself to open up until you feel safe."

"But why?"

"Well, it's scary to let someone know what is deep in your heart…"

"Why's it scary?"

"Because when you let someone know all your secrets, they can hurt you."

"But you"re not supposed to hurt da' people you love."

"That's right."

"Then why is she scared?"

"Because the prince was an absolute toad long ago and jumped out of the pond at a very bad time. Tadpoles used to freak him out, and it took actually meeting one to realize just how wonderful they truly are."

"I wike frogs, toads, and tadpoles."

"Me too," she chuckled from the doorway, smiling as she dried her hands. "They certainly can be a lot to handle sometimes, but they are growing on me."

Colton smiled up at her and then leaned down to kiss Zane's forehead, whispering good night to the little boy. "We've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm going to need a helper – are you strong enough to help me?"

"Oh yes. I'm the best helper, right, Mama?"

"Best helper in the world," she agreed tenderly. "Get some sleep, sweetie."

Colton got to his feet and walked out of the bedroom, past her, and moved toward the living room… taking her hand in his and pulling her behind him. As he walked into the kitchen, the furthest point of the house from Zane's room, he turned around and pulled her close.

"So we can talk…" he murmured.

"About the bathroom, frogs, or… us?"

"Perhaps all three?"

The soft invitation was there, combined with the feeling of his warm arms around her. She kept seeing him playing with Zane, the way his eyes would watch her, and imagining his kiss once more, and knew that she wanted more. Twining her arms around his shoulders, she saw his eyes widen slightly before they got this sexy hooded look to them.

"I think I would rather focus on now and the future than rehash something we cannot change in the past. I need to let that go because it does nothing but hurt me – and I think I finally can."

"Oh?"

"I didn't realize you were scared, too. I was only thinking of me, and what had happened. Self-preservation is a strong feeling, and we were both drowning in it - or so I realize now, and neither had enough sense to turn to the other person, yet."

"At that time, I didn't," he nodded, agreeing softly with her. "I want us to be strong together – and I don't believe in divorce…"

"Neither do I… yet I ran from you – and I'm sorry."

"You can't run now. We're married."

"We are," she chuckled softly, completely aware already why he'd insisted on marriage. It wasn't just to give them his name and to help – it was to tie her to his side, and it was kind of thrilling and sexy to have your man claim you as his own.

A sigh of longing slipped from her, and his entire body tightened in her arms – fully aware. For two people to have such miscommunication between them, there was no mistaking any of this moment nor what it was leading to.

"I'm not sure if I have protection here, Eris… I've never touched anyone else," he said intimately, offering up the information willingly. "I can sleep fully dressed tonight or on the couch if needed. If you say no, then I promise not to touch you or go any further."

"I'm not sure I want Zane to be an only child," she said huskily. "I'm scared, but like that princess in your story – I feel safe when I'm around my favorite frog prince."

"The one who still loves you dearly…" he admitted hoarsely, his eyes shiny with emotion and full of longing. "I've always loved you…" and hesitated, looking up at the ceiling as his shoulders slumped in awareness, chuckling.

"What?" she asked, hesitating.

"Come here," he invited, stepping back from her and taking a hand. "You're never going to believe this."

"Believe what?"

Colton pulled her from the kitchen, walked into the master bedroom and shut the door before he released her hand. He opened the closet, began looking around along the shelf on top and hesitated, smiling. He pulled out a large coffee tin, and she laughed.

"What is that? Are you like ninety years old deep down in your brain? Who keeps an old, rusted coffee can?"

"Hey, if something happened… metal slows down a fire – and stops water."

"Okaaaay…"

"And if this gets hot, I'm cooked anyhow. I'm just trying to protect it from water intrusion."

"What are you talking about?" she asked nervously as he pulled off the plastic lid and gasped. Inside were tons of folded notes – with her handwriting on them! They used to leave each other little love notes in the other person's car when they were dating before, and he'd kept the notes she'd left him.

"Ohhh Colton," she breathed in awareness – only to have it catch in her lungs, nearly making them want to burst as she saw him pull out a ring box. His eyes met hers, and he smiled sadly, kneeling.

"I've waited a long time to do this," he began, setting down the coffee can and looking up at her. "I went to your apartment to ask you to marry me, only to realize you'd moved away. Then I went to your job, and you'd quit. Well, now you are mine, and this is my chance to make things right between us…"

His voice paused, and everything in her was melting, breaking down, and collapsing as she let out her breath into a humbled, horrified sob. If she hadn't run, if she'd had the courage to talk to him, face him, they could have had all of this so much sooner.

He opened the ring box and winced, laughed and grinned at her tearfully.

"It was a lot bigger to me a few years ago," he chuckled.

"Oh my gosh, you were going to ask me… to marry you?" she wept, realizing her hand that he held was shaking like a leaf – or maybe it was his that was trembling.

"I was, Eris," he choked out emotionally. "Because I realized it didn't matter to me anymore if something had happened. I was scared to death, but more of us arguing and that was a rough time when I realized you had run from me."

She sank to her knees before him, unable to stand anymore as they stared at each other.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered openly.

"Me too… and I want us with every part of me."

"I do, too."

Colton plucked out the tiny solitaire from the velvet box and chuckled. "We can trade it in for something nicer if you want. I was so broke at the time, and well, I'm still broke. Fixing up a house is expensive, babe."

They both laughed tearfully as he slid the tiny wedding ring on her finger.

"I, Colton, take thee, Eris, as my beloved wife…" he breathed tenderly, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the ring. "I love you and never stopped."

"I, Eris, take thee, Colton, as my beloved husband," she promised, not holding back as she stared at him, feeling so much emotion towards this man. He was her everything and always had been, she had let him into her life fully, and she wasn't going to keep him at bay this time around. "I love you and never stopped," she whispered tearfully, her eyes searching his. "I want us to be a family, to take these steps together and figure it out… and yes, I want you for my husband."

He smiled tearfully at her.

"Please tell me that is an invitation for what I think it is…" he chuckled. "Can I be a complete idiot now?"

"Sure," she laughed, realizing that laughter had been missing before, and she treasured that they could relax and be themselves.

"Man, your body is rockin' since Zane. I swear, so many curves that it makes me want to swallow my tongue when I look at you. I really was hoping you'd pick the shower over the twin bed, and that you'd pick me, because dannnnng woman. You are seriously hot!"

Eris laughed happily, throwing her arms around his waist, hugging him as they knelt there together beside the coffee can. He stroked her hair and whispered words of love to her, promising to make her happy someday.

"How about that ‘someday' begins now?" she invited, looking at him – and Colton didn't hesitate.

He yanked his firefighter T-shirt over his head within a split second, and her eyes drank him in. They had both changed in the four years they were apart. He was a lot more tanned, certainly more muscular, and the ‘charmingly boyish' look to him had matured into a devastatingly handsome man.

At his reaction, she halfway expected him to start tugging at her clothing in a frantic manner. Yet, he didn't. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him while the other hand cupped the back of her neck.

"Oh…" she breathed in surprise and saw his half-smile.

"I'm in no hurry for this moment to be over," he murmured. "I plan on taking my time treasuring you, exploring the changes, and making sure you never have second thoughts about us. Neither of us is leaving the room until we are satisfied…"

She was helpless in his arms as he leaned forward ever so slowly to kiss her. Things had been good four years ago, but the idea of what he was promising made every limb turn to Jell-O. The loving, dedicated, yet carnal knowledge she saw in his eyes made her let out a small whimper of awareness as he brushed his lips against hers, uttering one softly spoken syllable between them.

"Mine…"

Words failed her.