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Chapter 3

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WILLOW

Several months later…

Willow texted Alec.

She hoped he had the same phone number but her hands were trembling as she typed. He was still so incredibly handsome, but there was an edge to him now that hadn’t been there before. Guiltily she wondered if it was because of her actions. What he had let slip had been telling, and she had gotten really good at reading between the lines over the last few years.

Alec?

Who dis?

Ouch. That hurt.

Obviously, he’d deleted her phone number at some point, and if what she’d suspected was true, she really didn’t blame him. That loneliness in college had been horrible, and she wanted to reach out so many times but had been afraid of what he would think or say.

Willow.

GO AWAY.

Can we talk?

Isn’t this English? You obviously have your degree. You’re smart – so do the smart thing and lemme alone.

NO TALKEEE, GO AWAYEEE.

Don’t be childish, Alec – let’s talk.

Ohhhhh… so now I’m childish AND not worthy of your precious time?

Winner, Winner, chicken dinner.

Stop contacting me.

I wanted to explain and apologize.

Apology accepted.

(See? Look at me being an adult)

Now – again – stop contacting me. I don’t want to talk to you.

Explanation not needed.

Buh-bye.

I’ll let you have this – for now.

For EVERRRR

Alec. Stop. Be reasonable – please.

Unreasonable and childish? Why do you want to talk to me? If we are resorting to name calling, should I lob a few choice grenades your way?

If that would make you feel better… then yes.

Hello?

Alec?

What names do you want to call me?

Hellooo? Are you ignoring me now?

Go away, Willow. I can’t, and I won’t do this.

Why?

Why can’t we talk?

Please, just do this for me – okay? If you ever felt anything for me, at least give me the chance to bury all of this again. I can’t handle you destroying me all over again, and I don’t deserve that.

We had our chance.

I tried to talk to you earlier today, and you blew me off like I was nothing – again. I’m tired of getting the door slammed in my face like I don’t have feelings. I do, you know – and those feelings are raw and painful right now.

Please leave me alone for a while.

A tear fell on her cell phone, and she wiped her face quickly, sniffing and trying to hold back the pain of rejection. Was this what he had been talking about – is this how he felt years ago? She was scared he would laugh at her lofty goals or the work it would involve. It had taken her years to get to the point where she could run for the position of a judge back in her hometown and surprisingly won a nomination.

She’d lost contact with friends who had moved away, started their families, and got married to their high school sweethearts… and while she had her dream job, her career, and surpassed all her goals – she felt empty standing beside Alec today. It was like seeing the other half there before you and being unable to reach it.

Oh, Willow had always cared about Alec, but the idea of getting married so young, before she had tackled her dreams, had been terrifying. It felt like an anchor instead of a joy at that moment, and perhaps it would never be something they would have, but a part of her wanted to mend fences with him.

To explain and beg forgiveness and he was shutting her down.

As you wish…

A sob slipped from her as she typed, her heart breaking all over again.

I never wanted to hurt you and care enough to respect your wishes – no matter how much it hurts. I only wanted us both to be happy and successful in our goals. It was so good to see you in your uniform and your team seems really nice. I wish the best for you and will respect your demands. If you ever change your mind, I’d love to get coffee or have dinner.

She saw the three dots appear, then disappear, before reappearing again. Her breath burned in her lungs where she was holding it, waiting for his response. Praying, she clutched her phone, silently begging for some sort of understanding or compromise so that they could talk once more.

Thank you – and no.

Goodbye, Willow.

She didn’t reply.

She couldn’t.

Willow could not bring herself to tell him goodbye again. It had taken everything in her to end their relationship before, and it nearly broke her emotionally. Oh, she would bide her time, give him space, and someday they would have their much-needed discussion because she still loved him desperately.

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