42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Answering the longing.

“You expect me to believe that he is Caleb,” Kal whispered loudly to Seth, gesturing to me from the corner of their apartment.

“He is, and even if he’s not, he’s Fyn’s soulmate.”

Kal scrubbed a hand through his long hair. “I cannot believe you kept this from me. How could you?”

“I had to. You wouldn’t have let me go, Kal. You barely let me out of your sight right now,” Seth snapped. “I had to know if he was Caleb. He’s human, and I have to protect him. Not to mention Fyn needs him.”

They were about to have an epic fight, but I wished they would wait until after I was with Fyn, then they could fight to their heart's content. All I wanted—needed was Zoltilvoxfyn.

Earlier today, Seth had shown up at the hospital with Tinlorray, Wyn, and Monty. The Ranks had proof I sought the Crystal and needed to answer the longing it instilled. Interestingly enough, the record of me touching the Crystal was my first day here, not the day I faded, which explained why I had the weird urge to explore the terrace, toward my mate.

Their technology had shown Zoltilvoxfyn was my mate (originally they’d thought their technology was malfunctioning when Fyn randomly appeared on the screens weeks ago. Now they knew it was me), and with that, I’d been released… well, after Seth took responsibility for me and Yolkeltod’s guardian approved.

We’d returned to the palace immediately. I’d tried to run off and find Fyn, but Seth and Monty wouldn’t let me. They’d kept everything from the family. Now Monty was telling the emperor and empress as well as Fyn’s brothers, and Seth was telling Kal before he took me to Fyn.

Clean, and in new clothes, I was ready to see Fyn. My mate. Tremors wracked my body and my tail strangled my calf, and I had no idea why. I needed my Sunshine, and I knew he needed me. Everything would work out. It would be fine. I had to believe that. I had to.

Kal and Seth continued their whisper fight from near the table while I remained on the couch. Lucy sat in the doorway to the bedroom, tail twitching. My wings squeezed my shoulders from the intense golden stare. The chubby black cat would not look away, even as the argument grew louder. I swore she knew I was the same soul who’d teased her.

I wiggled my fingers, and she continued to stare at me.

Seth popped in front of me, and I jerked back, practically falling off the back of the couch as my wings automatically sprawled and I snarled. Kal yanked Seth behind him, his wings sliding out.

“Kal,” Seth snapped, but Kal did not release his mate. Light started to pool under Kal’s scales, and my breath sharpened. A sculpture lifted into the air of its own accord, as something yanked in my stomach, and crashed to the ground.

We gaped at it. Another one rose before falling and shattering. I was shaking so badly that I could barely focus on Kal and Seth. My wings curled around me and my tail squeezed my leg hard enough to hurt.

Kal finally let Seth go and took a deep breath. The light dimmed, and his wings slid back into his shirt. “You’re doing this. You’re breaking the sculptures.”

“What?” I was panting. I couldn’t stop it. It was like something was in my stomach, clawing to get out.

He lifted his hands and slowly laid them on my knees as he crouched in front of me. “You must have telekinesis. It’s one of the more common inner fires.”

I couldn’t be the one doing this. It wasn’t possible. Books flew off the shelf, landing on the other side of the room.

“You need to calm yourself,” Kal said.

Seth sat beside me. I yanked away from him and knocked Kal off. The pressure was too much. “I need Zoltilvoxfyn.”

“I can see that.” Kal glanced at Seth. “I don’t know if Fyn’s ready for this.”

“Caleb needs him, and Fyn needs Caleb.”

Kal and Seth stared at each other like they were having a silent conversation. Eventually, Kal said, “Alright, Husband. Let’s take him to Zoltilvoxfyn.”

I moved an empty pot to the workbench before placing a layer of rocks on the bottom, followed by loamy soil. Near the top, I placed a hybrid seed in the dirt before covering it. I’d continued to produce a rose hybrid for Seth and… Caleb.

My eyes shut of their own accord. The mere thought of my mate was enough to send waves of despair crashing over me. I tightened my grip on the clay plot, claws scraping the glaze, and forced myself to take a shuddering breath.

When the icy grief receded to a dull ache, I continued my work. I had nothing else. Plants were my solace and the sole reason I was alive.

For the first time in weeks, I was alone. Normally, I enjoyed solitude, but today my thoughts were loud and I needed distraction from them. The longing in my gut swelled. I missed Caleb. It felt as if he was right out of reach, and if I followed this longing, I would see him and be able to hold him.

“Zoltilvoxfyn,” Kalvoxrencol said from behind me.

“Did you sort out whatever Seth needed?” I asked. Kalvoxrencol had been spending the afternoon with me because Seth was busy, probably with Wyn or Urgg. But when he’d summoned Kalvoxrencol, my brother had gone after his mate, though he extracted a promise that I would be here when he returned.

“Yes.”

I didn’t bother to respond, let alone turn around.

“I need you to look at me, Bloom.”

I frowned at his careful tone, facing him. His arms were crossed and his tail twitched something fierce. I asked, “What’s going on, Pest?”

“There is someone you need to see, and you must remain calm.” Kalvoxrencol gripped my tail with his.

“I’m in no mood to meet someone. Tell them to leave.”

“I cannot. You have to, and I believe you’ll want to.”

“What is going…” The words died on my tongue as Seth moved into my line of sight. He wasn’t alone. A tall drakcol male stood beside him. His scales were light gray with glimpses of gold and emerald green. His jewel blue eyes were fixed on me, and his rich brown hair was shaved on one side with a long scar on his scalp, revealing his mottled skin where the scales hadn’t grown back.

Something lurched in my gut as I stared at him. My soul throbbed. Mine . This drakcol was mine. Anger, potent and hot, swept through my veins like wildfire. How dare the Crystal reject Caleb and yet give me another? Caleb was my everything, and I would accept no other. He was my mate.

My wings sprawled. “I don’t want you.”

“Fyn,” Seth admonished.

I slashed a hand through the air, and Seth flinched. Kalvoxrencol growled in warning, which I ignored. I couldn’t take my eyes off the intruder. Caleb was my mate, not this drakcol. I did not care what the Crystal said. I would die before I accepted another soul.

The gray-scaled drakcol grinned at me, bobbing on the heels of his feet before stopping with a grimace. “Hey, Sunshine.”

My breath harshened. “You do not call me that.”

“Yes, I do.” He wiped a hand down his chest, straightening the red tunic. “I know the… container is different, but I’m still me.”

“What?”

He stiffly limped toward me, and my wings spread to their full width. I would not be disloyal to my mate.

“I know this is not what you’re used to,” the drakcol said. “Fuck, I’m not used to it. I’m taller than you now, which is… unbelievable. I mean, you know how short I was better than anyone, and I was tiny. Now I’m ginormous. How do people deal with being so big? It’s weird, and I don’t like it.” He sucked in a breath. “It was easier to ramble when I was a ghost. I didn’t need to breathe. Anyway, I am still your Caleb.”

“Liar,” I hissed. I moved to shove him, but the instant I came in contact with his scales, I froze. Unable to stop it, my fingers curled around his tunic and hauled him closer, the warmth of him sinking into me. I desired the bite of tingly cold, not this.

“I’m not lying, and you know it,” the man said. “That’s why you’re holding me. You know I am yours. Fyn, you know I belong with you and you belong with me.”

“No.” I forced myself to let him go. “Pest and Seth must have shared things or you somehow found out.” No one truly knew much about Caleb, and all of the information on humans was currently restricted; I didn’t even have access to it. “My Caleb is gone.”

“I’m still here, Sunshine. I never left you. I promised I would always come back to you. Now and forever. You are mine, and I am yours. I can tell you anything you want from the first time we had sex to the random things you said. Whatever you need to prove who I am. But I am Caleb, your Caleb, and you are my Sunshine.”

I shook my head, staring up into the blue eyes, such a different shade than what I was used to.

“I am,” he yelled; his voice was deep and not the one I knew. “I am your Caleb. The Crystal marked us as mates.”

“I’m refusing you. I will be loyal to my mate.”

“I am your mate, Zoltilvoxfyn. I did not spend weeks fighting with doctors about who I am to debate it with you. I am Caleb. I am your mate. I love you, and I know you love me.”

“I love Caleb,” I shouted.

“Fuck everything,” he said. “Fine, you don’t have to believe me, but I am who I say I am. And guess what, you still have to bond with me before the Crystal will allow us to break apart. You want to reject me? Go ahead. Either way, we have to become mates first before you can reject the bond in front of the Crystal. So one way or another you will be mine. If you still don’t want me after that? Fine. I will spend the rest of my life chasing you. I was willing to risk oblivion for you, so why wouldn’t I be willing to spend my life fighting for you?”

My instincts demanded I draw him close, claim him, protect him, and never let him go. But my mind warred with my soul. This wasn’t Caleb, but my soul demanded he was mine.

The man grabbed me, yanking me against him. “You are worth it, Zoltilvoxfyn. You are worth everything. I will always stay with you.”

I crashed into him and knocked him to the ground. The drakcol yelped. I seized the front of his tunic, shaking him. “You are not Caleb!”

“Zoltilvoxfyn, release him,” Kalvoxrencol ordered.

“Caleb,” Seth cried.

I ignored them both.

Arching, he pressed a light kiss to the corner of my lips, sending sparks through me. “Sunshine,” he whispered. His fingers slid up and down my back, the pressure hard, hard enough to be unpleasant, but that wasn’t what bothered me. The movements were achingly familiar. The pattern—up my spine, across my shoulders, and down my sides. I knew this. This was not something I’d told anyone, nor had Caleb. No one but us knew.

“Caleb?” I asked, barely believing it.

A bright smile pulled on his lips. “Sunshine.”

Something snapped in my mind and sent me reeling like I’d been punched. This was Caleb. My Caleb. He was nothing like I remembered or expected, but all the same, he was mine. He’d crossed the universe for me. He fought off oblivion for me. He, against all odds, found life again for me. All for me.

I gripped his cheeks and pressed my lips against his. He moaned, and I swallowed the sound, feasting on it. I swiped my tongue against his. Thrusting in and out, I claimed his mouth. I went to the hem of his tunic and tried to yank it off, but his wings were out, blocking my efforts. Frustrated, I shredded the fabric with my claws; it came apart with ease.

Caleb clutched my back, hard enough to the point of pain. He probably didn’t know how to regulate his strength. That was something we would worry about later. I needed Caleb, and I needed him right now. I did not care if Seth and Kalvoxrencol were still there. I did not care that we were in the garden for anyone to see. Caleb was mine. I’d thought he was gone, but in truth, he’d been fighting to come back to me. I would never deserve the loyalty and love he had for me.

He trembled beneath me, and his hard cock pressed against mine through his trousers. I rutted into him, and he gasped. My lips wandered over his face and down the wide column of his neck. I pushed his head to the side to nibble on the tight tendons.

“Permissions,” I demanded.

“What?”

“Your permissions. I need them now before I take you.”

He did not answer me, so I pulled back. His eyes were wide, pupils blown. Tremors wracked his body, and his wings hugged his sides. I glanced down, and his tail was hugging his leg. Caleb was afraid. Why? He didn’t fear me. Or did he?

His hips bucked into mine. “Why did you stop?”

“You wish for me to continue?”

“Of course.” His shaking hands pulled me closer.

Suddenly, I understood. Caleb had no idea what his own body was telling him. It had been over twenty cycles since he’d had one, and he’d never been a drakcol. He didn’t understand the signs.

I gently kissed him, keeping the pressure soft and the tempo slow. I traced his lips with my tongue, tasting him, then nipped the bottom one, drawing it into my mouth and sucking. Caleb moaned beneath me, hips canting against mine, but the tension in his body didn’t leave no matter what I did.

“Let’s go to our quarters,” I said against his ear, and Caleb shivered, drawing away. I stood, my erection tenting the front of my trousers. As much as I burned for Caleb, I wanted him to be comfortable more. He was far more important than the flash of lust raging through me.

Besides, as I glanced at him, then quickly away, I still had a hard time accepting the drakcol in front of me as Caleb. He wasn’t my Caleb. I should be grateful, and I was, yet I longed for a smiling face with bright blue eyes and creamy skin.

Hooking my arms beneath him, I helped him up. He grimaced, making my soul scream in terror. “Did I injure you?” If I’d hurt him, I would never forgive myself.

“No. I—Yolkeltod’s body was in an accident. It's still recovering.”

I traced the scar on the side of his head, and he shivered. “This is Yolkeltod?”

“Yep.”

“How?”

He lifted and lowered his shoulders. “The Crystal. I guess.”

That was as good an answer as any. I wrapped my tail around his, and he shied away, yelping. A needle stabbed me at the rejection.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “The tail is even more sensitive.”

“Ah.”

“Yolkeltod has spinal damage.”

That explained the stiff way he moved. Worry plucked at me, dousing my lust. “Are you well?”

“I guess.”

A trip to the doctor was in order, though not today. I grabbed his hand. I’d seen Kalvoxrencol and Seth holding hands—a human thing, I supposed. Caleb’s fingers intertwined with mine, our palms pressed together. I couldn’t help but wonder what Caleb’s human hand would have felt like. Would he have been as soft as Seth? How would his small hand have fit within my much larger grasp?

When we stepped into our quarters, Caleb glanced around. “Where are the plants?”

Shame crept up my spine, settling into a cold ball in my gut, and I kept my gaze averted. “They died. After you…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. “I didn’t care for them.”

“We’ll plant more,” he said easily, like it was nothing, and my muscles unclenched.

Caleb shifted in front of me, and I cupped his hips, tail coiling about his ankle. His hands ran down my chest, hooking on the edge of my tunic and tugging it off. I stared up at him and wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t force the sound out. Caleb was taller than I was now. His shoulders were broad, though he was underweight. He was attractive with his long face and strong nose. Still, he was a stranger. I didn’t recognize him, and yet he was mine.

He brushed my pierced nipples, playing with the gold rings, and I moaned. My cock started to firm up. While my mind was struggling to recognize Caleb, my body had no such issues. It craved him, desperately.

I glanced at his wings that hugged his sides and his tail that clung to his leg. Caleb was still stressed, but I doubted he knew that.

“Come on,” I said.

I led him to the bedroom. Caleb didn’t fight and his cock was hard and ready. He wasn’t, though. I divested him of clothes, having to rip the rest of his shirt off. Scars marred his left side where scales hadn’t grown back to cover his mottled skin beneath. I would have to make sure he took care of his exposed skin. It would be sensitive to extreme temperatures or drying out.

He watched as I stripped off my clothes, leaving us both bare.

“Lay down,” I told him. Caleb did. As he lay on his back, he shook. While his cock dripped pre-seed, the rest of him radiated unease. I settled next to his side and rolled him until he faced me. Arms around him, I draped my wings over him before throwing a leg over his hip and securing my tail around his leg.

“Sunshine?”

I heard the question in his voice. I nuzzled his forehead, breathing in the floral perfume that was my mate. Had Caleb smelled like this before? I had no idea. Did it matter? This was my mate’s scent now. Still, I wondered.

“Wrap your tail around my leg, Mate.”

“I-I can’t c-control it,” he said, voice breaking.

“You can. Breathe. Hold me tight. It will be alright.”

His arms enfolded me, pressing us against each other. His cock had softened. Maybe his mind was finally grasping the strain his body was exuding. Several moments passed before his tail wrapped firmly around my leg.

Stroking his back, I told him, “I must apologize.”

“For what?”

“Pushing you. My relief and desire outweighed my sight of you.”

“No.” He tried to wiggle back, but I didn’t allow him to. “I want you.”

He did, but he didn’t at the moment. I kept rubbing his back in long, smooth movements. A hiccup came from Caleb moments before tears dripped onto my chest. “Why am I crying?”

“You’re scared.”

“No, I’m not. Why would I be? I want you. I promise.”

Yes, he did. How long had he been struggling to get to me and ignoring everything his body was screaming at him? “I’m here. I’m right here.”

Another sob escaped him. I continued to stroke Caleb as he wept. I would be here with him, and we would sort everything out. Nothing would keep us apart, not even my unease as my brain struggled to catch up with this new reality. I would keep him safe this time. I would. Never would I fail my mate again.