40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Please believe me.

Footsteps slapped on the gleaming and recently cleaned floor. How did I know it was cleaned? Because a cleaning bot had slowly worked back and forth over the floor before disappearing from sight. That had been the sole moving thing I’d seen in two days. Tinlorray hadn’t shown up, and none of my doctors had seen me, even for treatment on my muscles. I was left alone in a tiny cell with a bed, toilet, and TV the size of my thumb that displayed a view of a forest. A cubby in the wall would generate food and water twice a day.

The wall facing the hallway was a force field, keeping me locked in. I had no idea how long I’d been here or how long since I’d last seen Fyn. No one would tell me any information about him. Of course, they might not know. He was a prince, and I wasn’t sure how much information the palace shared about the royals’ daily lives.

I’d wandered the universe for years, never staying in one place, driven by a need to see everything. But none of that knowledge helped me right now. I was trapped—trapped like a bug under a glass.

I plopped on the bed, then jerked upright because needles shot up my spine, only to groan from the sudden movement as my breath turned harsh. The shuttle accident had done severe damage to Yolkeltod’s body. I couldn’t make any sudden movements without triggering pain of some kind.

I’d never known there were so many varieties of agony until now.

I couldn’t walk for long distances, my wings didn’t work, not that I knew what to do with them. My tail had also been damaged, making it even more sensitive. My head always ached, edging on a migraine no matter what anyone did.

Basically, I was a ball of pain that barely moved.

Clearing my throat, I tried to force the drakcol vocal cords to correctly pronounce English. All of the words sounded grumbled and harsh, but I refused to forget my first language. “I am Caleb Smith,” I said, repeating what I did every day. “I am human. I am from Earth. My parents are John and Eden. I have three brothers. I died falling down the stairs. I wandered the universe. I met Zoltilvoxfyn. I fell in love with Fyn, and he fell in love with me. He is my mate. I am Caleb Smith, not Yolkeltod.”

No matter what the doctors told me, I wouldn’t believe differently.

“Are you really not Yolkeltod?” Tinlorray asked from behind me. Stiffly and with a deep grimace, I turned. Tinlorray stared at me with glassy eyes, tail coiled around her ankle.

“I’m not Yolkeltod. I met him, briefly, when I was wandering your planet. You were his tether. What tied him to this plane,” I explained. “He asked me to take care of you before he moved on.” I’d told her as much before, but she hadn’t believed me. Maybe she would this time. I hoped to god she would believe me this time. I needed someone, anyone to believe me. “I was the one in your house. I was the one who tried to comfort you. I’m sorry.”

“Then why are you in this body and not him?” she demanded, tail thrashing.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I had no clue. None. “I touched the Crystal, and here I am. I have no idea why Yolkeltod left, and I’m in his body. I don’t have any answers, Tinlorray. I wished I did.”

She stared at me. “You have to be Yolkeltod.”

“I’m not, Tinlorray,” I said, my voice turning pleading. “I know he was everything to you, but I’m not him and I never will be, no matter how long you keep me here that will not change. I will always be Caleb Smith.”

“I must be insane to even contemplate this.”

“You’re not. As odd as it is, this is happening. Honestly, I would have guessed such things were common for a species as advanced as yours. Weird stuff has to happen all the time, right?”

Tinlorray scoffed. “A human soul being trapped in my little brother’s body normal? No.”

Forcing Yolkeltod’s body to stand, I shuffled to the force field and placed my hand on it. The invisible wall vibrated slightly under me. It was so faint, I wasn’t sure if I’d still been in a human body that I would've felt it—not that I remembered what being in a human body was like anymore.

“I wish I could bring him back, but I can’t,” I said, pulse racing. I hated it. I hated it all. I would give Yolkeltod his body back and return to my previous ghostly state if I could. “You were everything to him. He loved you. That’s why he asked some random spirit to watch over you.”

She swallowed, and tears slid down her scaled cheeks.

“He loved you, Tinlorray,” I repeated, slower, “but Yolkeltod is gone.”

Tinlorray swiped the tears away. “I don’t know why, but I believe you. You don’t feel like my brother. I see you in front of me, but here,” she rested a hand over the center of her chest, “I know you’re not him. It’s like I’m looking at a stranger, and stars, it hurts. It hurts so bad.”

“I’m sorry, but I am Caleb.”

“Caleb,” she said, voice breaking into a sob. “Greetings. I’m Tinlorray.”

“Hello, Tinlorray.”

She broke down, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her arms wound around her waist while her tail curled about her calf. She crouched, sobbing, shoulders shaking.

Once again, I was a voyeur to her grief. I shouldn’t be here, watching this, but I literally couldn’t go anywhere else.

When Tinlorray’s cries subsided to quiet tears and heaving breaths, I said, “I need out.”

“They’re not going to let you out,” she replied, getting to her feet. “The doctors are afraid you will harm yourself or attempt to harm Prince Zoltilvoxfyn. Our appointed guardian agrees with them.”

“I won’t, I swear,” I said. “I would never hurt him. Never. Nothing in this universe would make me hurt him. I love him.”

She lifted her palms up—the drakcol version of a shrug. “That may be true, but they will not believe you.”

“Then I need you to get a message to him. You have to tell him I’m here. My Sunshine will not abandon me.”

Laughter slipped out of her lips. “And how would I speak to a prince?”

“Right.” Fucking nobility. Legs trembling, I hobbled to the bed to sit down. With a grimace, I rearranged, wings sprawled and tail wiggling. God, I hated the extras. I had no idea how to use them, and with each movement, they brought new sensations that seared my brain.

“Perhaps you could reach out to Seth Harris?”

Her brow furrowed. “The human?”

“Yes.”

“He’ll be even harder to contact. The royal family has closed wings around him. No one is allowed to see or talk to him.”

“Why?” Kal was ridiculously overprotective of Seth, but there was no reason for him to be completely isolated, not that he would mind.

“I don’t know for certain, but the rumor is it’s about his soul. He has the darkest warrior soul ever recorded in our written history. I imagine the Ranks are requesting to study him, and Prince Kalvoxrencol has probably refused. If Prince did refuse, the Ranks might appeal to the Cohort for access to the human, but I truly don’t know. The palace hasn’t released any information about him besides his soul testing.”

Poor Seth. My dude was introverted to an extreme, not even mentioning his anxiety. Being studied wouldn’t be something he was interested in, especially not for this soul crap.

“So not Seth,” I said, thinking. “Maybe Wyn?”

“Who?” she asked.

“Ensign Wyn. He works for Seth on NAID’s—I mean Edith’s independence.”

“It will take some hunting, but he’s a more likely candidate to be able to speak to. I would have to find him among, what I imagine to be several Wyns in connection to the palace. It will take time.” She crossed her arms. “You stole my brother’s body, and now, I have to help you.”

“Not intentionally,” I said. “I didn’t mean to take him. Not that it actually makes a difference. I did steal his body, and I am so sorry. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. The Crystal shoved me in here.” And I didn’t think I wanted to be in this body or any body for that matter, not that I would tell her that.

She didn’t reply, nor did she meet my gaze.

Man, I wished I didn’t need her help. I felt guilty for taking her brother and now using her, but I didn’t have a choice. I sucked for even using that excuse, but it was the truth. I needed her to get back to Fyn. Somehow, someway, I would find a way to repay her.

Tinlorray took a deep breath. “I know exactly what Yolkeltod would say if he was here.”

“What?”

“‘Tinlorray,’” she said in a whiny voice, “‘he needs help. You can’t abandon him. I’m dead, but he’s not.’” She shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks again. “He was a warrior soul, but I’d never met someone so kind. He helped everyone and everything in trouble. I cannot tell you how many injured animals he brought home over the cycles to patch up. He saw his soul as a mark to protect anyone who needed it, and stars, he did.” More tears coursed down her cheeks in a never-ending river.

“I think we would’ve gotten along.”

“Everyone liked him.”

Chewing on my bottom lip, I debated about asking her for yet another favor, but in the end, needs must. “Perhaps I could see the Crystal. If Zoltilvoxfyn is acknowledged as my soulmate, I can see him, right?”

“Getting access to the Crystal is not easy. For royalty? Yes. Us? No. We have to apply to the Ranks for access. If they allow it, we have to wait for the appeal date. The Ranks have three days a cycle where all the petitioners come to the Grand Sanctuary. And for you, it would be harder to become a petitioner.”

“Why?”

“You’re in the first phase of adulthood. Our guardian would have to approve, and there is no way she will with the current questions regarding your sanity.”

That was right. Drakcol only recognized mated people as full-fledged adults. My mouth opened. “Monqilcolnen.”

“What?”

“Commander Monqilcolnen. He could help.”

“Cousin to the royal family and part of the peerage? I’m sure he could, but he will not be easy to contact.”

I slammed my fist onto the bed and swallowed a groan.

“I shall seek this Ensign Wyn, but the doctors are not going to release you.”

“One thing at a time.” Just one thing at a time. But if I didn’t see Fyn soon, I worried I was going to lose my mind, and worse, I feared how he was coping with my loss. I needed to see him; there wasn’t a choice.