30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

An unfortunate plan.

Pain. Actual pain. God. This was new. Years had passed since the last time I’d experienced this. I hated and loved the sensation. Feeling anything was a miracle, but why did it have to be pain? From the tip of my toes to the top of my head, everything ached and I was oddly heavy. Like this non-existent body had actual weight.

Fyn kept his wings around me as he huddled close. I slid my hands over his chest and froze, then moved to his back in my usual pattern. I felt warmth. A true, real heat. No second-guessing, no wondering. I felt Sunshine, and the sensation didn’t disappear after the barest moment.

“You’re warm.” I shifted nearer, to the point I started to slip inside of him, but I didn’t care. He was so damn warm.

“Can you perceive my body?”

“Distantly, but it’s there, Sunshine. You’re there. You’re here. I’m here,” I answered. His hands slid up my back, and a tremor went through me. “Don’t stop.”

Without a word, he continued to stroke my back until I was groaning. I felt him. It was faint like a breeze, but dammit, it was there. It was miraculous. Every stroke was perfect and made me fight back sobs and groans at the same time.

“Fyn,” I moaned. I tilted toward him, wanting another kiss, but he stayed well out of reach, not that I would have focused to the point of resistance. “Sunshine? What’s wrong?” His glassy eyes turned to the ceiling, and my pleasure vanished. “What’s going on? Are you hurt? Did something happen? Is it Seth?” When he didn’t say anything, I snapped, “Zoltilvoxfyn, what is wrong? I need you to talk to me.”

“Nothing is wrong, my Caleb.”

“Why are you lying? Are you upset I can feel you?”

“No.”

“Then what’s going on?”

He cleared his throat, tail lashing behind him. “You’re going gray.”

“Oh.” He finally noticed. That wasn’t ideal. With a surreptitious glance, I saw more gray spreading, my shoes, my calves, my hands. If I was becoming more ghostly, that probably meant I was fading. Maybe physical sensations were a final blessing before I was ripped apart.

“You have to go, Caleb.”

“No.”

“Caleb.”

“No,” I snapped. I went on my toes and caught his gaze. “I choose you, Zoltilvoxfyn. I will always choose you. I never thought there was anything after death, and I’m willing to risk my soul to stay with you, even if it’s only a few more days. We belong together.”

“I can’t lose you. If you move on, perhaps I will get to see you again one day.”

“I am not leaving you. You said I was yours, and that you were mine, so I get to stay with you.” I couldn’t leave him. Something deep within me refused to even accept such a possibility. I was meant to be here, with him. We were made for each other, and nothing would ever convince me otherwise.

“Mate,” he started, and I crossed my arms, making him fall silent.

This conversation was not even close to being resolved, but it would have to continue later after we’d both had a moment to breathe and could discuss it calmly. Or as calmly as possible because I doubted Fyn would ever be calm about this situation. He was my worrywart after all, and I would never want him to change.

“Why are we in space?” I asked, changing the topic.

“There is an unknown vessel not far from Tamkolvanloknol, which is why there was an emergency Cohort meeting. The craft is not answering pings or responding.”

“What do they want?”

“We don’t know.”

I slid my fingers over his back and was instantly distracted by the feel. I couldn’t perceive the texture of his clothes, but god, there was a slight resistance and heat. If I could, I would rub myself all over him. If I did, I imagined Sunshine would want sex. Mmmhh. Sex. Now that might be fun. How much would I feel?

I peeked around the office for a soft surface, but all I spotted was a desk with a stool and some plants. Maybe Fyn could sit on the desk while he jerked off and I helped him? The floor didn’t look too bad, either. It was mossy, so probably soft enough for his back. Of course, he could remain standing too. I was good with that. I was good with all of the possibilities.

“Caleb, focus.”

My gaze shot to his face. “What?”

“You’re touching my cock.”

I glanced down, and yep, my hand was on his hard cock, rubbing. I licked my lips. Could I taste him? Oh god, I wanted that.

“We cannot fuck in my older brother’s office,” he said, ruining the moment.

“A quickie , maybe?”

“A what?”

Damnit, I didn’t know the Drakconese word for a quickie or blowjob. Unfortunately, my sex terminology was lacking. I should’ve haunted more couples like a creepy perv. “You stay basically dressed and I play with your cock until you come.”

He swallowed, and I tracked the bob in his throat. “While that sounds pleasant, not in my brother’s office.”

“So where’s your quarters? Nearby? Maybe we could stop there for a few minutes. I’d make it worth your while. It’d be fun. So fun.”

“Focus, Little Soul. There is a possibly dangerous vessel within range. There is no time for sex.”

“Sorry,” I said, ripping my gaze from the bulge in his pants. Being a ghost had killed my sense of urgency, but clearly not my horniness. “Yes. Bad ship. What can I do?”

Fyn smiled softly, which caused an odd vibration to start in my chest. Fuck. It was my heart; my pulse was racing. He touched my cheek, and I wanted to press into it, but I stayed still.

“Hands away from my cock so I can pay attention, please.”

I licked my lips. “I can do that. For now. But only for now. I will have to get my hands on you later. I need it.”

“Stay beside me,” Fyn said, ignoring my rambling. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.”

He smiled again, but it was laced with sadness.

Me and mine returned to Command, but this time, I was in a much better mood. Worry for my mate still plagued me, though. He was beside me, safe. For now. Caleb was ripping apart; I was sure of it. He would be torn from this plane and my arms sooner than I’d ever thought possible. He needed to move on, and yet, I didn’t want him to, and neither did he.

Dontilvynsan glanced at us when we entered, and no doubt my thoughts skittered through his mind. He tried not to hear, but he couldn’t help it. Reading minds was his inner fire, and there was no way for him to silence the gift, no matter how much he wished there was. He did form a shield—I supposed was the best way to phrase it—around his thoughts, but it wasn’t perfect, especially regarding those he was closest to both physically and emotionally.

“Greetings, Caleb,” he said. “I shall like to formally meet you after this issue is resolved.”

Caleb bounced at my side. “Me too.”

As usual, I related his words, though, with Dontilvynsan, I probably didn’t need to, because he would hear my thoughts about Caleb.

My brother turned toward the screen, and people began talking again. Kalvoxrencol held Seth securely, and they remained quiet as Serlotminden and Fynlincoxmin suggested different greetings that they’d encountered in their travels and diplomacy work.

Nothing had occurred while Caleb and I were gone. The vessel hadn’t moved or threatened us. The white craft floated in space without any hint of life.

“Has the Coalition sent an update?” I asked.

“No,” Dontilvynsan answered, looking up from his screen, though his fingers kept moving with ease. “But the Vveekian Authority is sending a science vessel to investigate as well as a warship in case we need assistance, though this close to Tamkolvanloknol, we are hardly likely to need it. Still, the ships are twenty hours from us.”

Not a horrible amount of time, though much could happen in twenty hours, especially depending on the strength of the technology of this vessel.

“So you guys don’t have…” Caleb trailed off for a moment. “Something to prod the ship?”

“Sensors,” I said, supplying the word. “We do, but they cannot penetrate the shields.”

“Ah.” His head bobbed while his lips pursed. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “I have an idea, but you won’t like it.”

My tail twitched and wings rustled on my back. “You are not doing anything dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine,” Caleb protested, patting my arm, which made his fingers disappear inside me and sent tingles up the limb.

Even without hearing his idea, I didn’t want him to do it, because it would take him from my side. Caleb needed to stay right here, out of danger, and within sight.

Dontilvynsan spoke as he stood. “Will my brothers, their mates, and Monqilcolnen join me in my office to discuss Caleb’s idea in private.”

“Caleb has an idea?” Seth asked.

Serlotminden answered, “Dontilvynsan must have overheard Zoltilvoxfyn’s thoughts about it.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Come on, Husband,” Kalvoxrencol said, directing Seth out of Command. Serlotmiden and Monqilcolnen followed them, but Dontilvynsan waited for me with his eyebrows raised, silently challenging me. If I fled, he would chase me. I couldn’t hide from him. Even if I did wish to fight him, which I didn’t, I would not beat him. After Kalvoxrencol, Dontilvynsan was the next best fighter.

I offered him my throat in concession, and Dontilvynsan patted my cheek. “Come, Bloom. Let us hear what your mate has to say.”

When we stepped inside Dontilvynsan’s office, he went behind the desk, and Caleb and I found a spot near the wall.

“It’s probably a good thing we didn’t fuck in here. Everyone would have smelled it,” Caleb said, and I laughed.

Everyone turned toward me—I rarely laughed. I didn’t relate what my mate said, because it would bring up a round of unnecessary questions. Unable to stop it, the memory of us in our bed with Caleb ordering me to pleasure myself invaded my thoughts and heated my blood.

Dontilvynsan cleared his throat, and I jolted, immediately regretting my thoughts.

“Please don’t have sex in my office,” Dontilvynsan said in his usual monotone voice.

“What?” Kalvoxrencol demanded, while Serlotminden laughed uproariously.

“I like your Caleb,” Serlotminden said. “Anyone willing to fuck in here is worth being with.”

“How do you…” Kalvoxrencol started to ask, but Seth elbowed him, bright red.

“We should get back to the matter of the strange vessel,” Monqilcolnen said, and I had the odd impulse to hug him for the redirection.

“Indeed,” Dontilvynsan said. “Caleb, what’s your plan?”

“You’ll take me in a shuttle beneath the vessel and I will go inside,” he suggested, like he was planning a walk in a garden.

Ice clogged my veins. “No,” I snarled, turning toward him, not even bothering to relate his plans to the others because it didn’t matter. Caleb would never do this. I refused to let him.

“Interesting,” Dontilvynsan said before telling everyone Caleb’s reckless idea. “That might work.”

“No,” I growled, standing in front of my mate to shield him from my brothers.

“Zoltilvoxfyn,” Kalvoxrencol started, but I cut him off with a sharp wave.

“My mate is not doing this. We have no idea what’s inside the vessel, let alone knowing what the vacuum of space will do to him. Caleb is remaining here.”

Cold fingers trailed over my back, stronger than ever. His touch was growing stronger while his spirit was growing weaker. Eyes closed, I savored it. I didn’t know how much longer I would have this, and I would never recover from losing Caleb.

“It’s my choice, Sunshine,” Caleb said.

I turned around. “Please do not do this, Caleb.”

Caleb cupped my cheeks before immediately groaning, which made me swallow. His reactions were hard for me not to respond to. “Sorry,” he whispered, biting his lip. “Still not used to feeling you.”

“Stay.”

His thumb slid over my cheekbone. “I want to help.”

“You don’t know what this will do to you.”

“I do,” he replied. “I have gone into space before. I’ve done it, more than once. I’ve jumped from ship to ship before. I can do this.”

“Caleb, you’re weakening. I cannot lose you.”

Going on his toes, he said, “Trust me. I have no intention of ever leaving you.”

Intentions or not, Caleb could be taken from me. “Mate,” I began, planning on forcing him to stay, but he placed his fingers on my lips, sending a shiver down my spine.

“My choice. I am not helpless. I can do this, Sunshine.”

I had lost this fight. Caleb would do it with or without me, but he would have an easier, not to mention safer, time with me present. “Fine.”

He pushed his forehead into my shoulder, rubbing, though he disappeared into my scales. Without a body, Caleb couldn’t properly scent mark me, not that humans did that, but I loved it nonetheless.

I faced my brothers and Monqilcolnen, who all watched me. They’d only heard my side of it, except Dontilvynsan.

“Caleb will do this,” I said.

Dontilvynsan replied, tail touching mine for the barest moment before flicking away, “I will do all I can to keep him safe.”

“I’ll fly the shuttle,” Serlotminden instantly offered.

“No,” Dontilvynsan said. “You, Kalvoxrencol, and Seth will stay here, under my protection. Monqilcolnen will fly the shuttle with Zoltilvoxfyn and his Caleb.” Serlotmiden opened his mouth to complain, but our older brother silenced him. “This is my ship, and I give the orders. Monqilcolnen is in the navy. You are a shuttle racer.”

He scowled. “I can do this.”

“Worry not,” Monqilcolnen said, tugging Serlotminden against his side. “I might not be as good as you, but Zoltilvoxfyn and his mate will be fine.”

Serlotminden wasn’t the only one upset. Kalvoxrencol was snarling under his breath, but Seth had his arms wrapped around him, keeping him calm. No doubt, Pest wanted to go himself.

“Thank you, Caleb,” Dontilvynsan said, looking unerringly at where Caleb stood at my side.

Caleb stuck his straightened hand to his forehead, then shot it out in an oddly stiff move at Dontilvynsan, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Not a problem, oh Captain my Captain. I’m excited. It’ll be fun. A little bit of adventure. I haven’t had one in a while.”

My mate might be excited, but dread curled in my soul.