29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

All alone.

I followed my brothers out of the amphitheater and half-listened to Kalvoxrencol as he ranted against our father. I had very little to offer to the mission, unlike Serlotminden who, in addition to being a shuttle racer, worked as a diplomat. I expected Seth to calm Kalvoxrencol down, but he didn’t. He agreed, not as vocally, but he was on my side.

Seth had defended me before, but I hadn’t expected this. “Fyn deserves to go as much as anyone,” Seth said. “How can your father keep him here?”

When we rounded the corner, I spotted Father and Mother. I crossed my arms, but I didn’t say anything. They were trying to protect me. Kalvoxrencol and I were similar in many ways. He acted out, harming himself through idiotic acts. I turned inward, and they feared harm would come to me by my own hand. As such, they kept me here and safe beside them. And unlike Kalvoxrencol, I’d never defied their orders before.

I waited for Kalvoxrencol to lose his temper, but I was surprised once again when Seth, not Pest, stepped forward, forehead furrowed. “Fyn should come with us. He wants to go, and you shouldn’t keep him here.”

Father asked, “I beg your pardon?”

“He is not weak,” Seth practically growled, shaking so violently I feared he would fall, but Kalvoxrencol took a hold of his waist. “I know why you want to keep him here, but if Fyn says he can handle it, he can. Trust him. You have to trust him.”

Mother glanced at me. “You told him.”

“Yes,” I replied. Seth understood in a way no one else in my family did. While he fought his mind in a different way, he recognized the battle.

“We might need him,” Seth continued. “For all we know there is a ghost aboard that might help. Not that it matters. He deserves to go as much as his brothers.”

Father cupped Seth’s cheek, causing Seth to start and turn deathly pale. “Once again, I am pleased by the protectiveness you have shown over my children, but this is mine and Vyn’s decision. Zoltilvoxfyn is our child and under our protection, not yours.”

Seth frowned.

“I want to go,” I said, moving to Seth’s side.

Serlotminden joined me. “I think he should, Father. You never let him leave. You cannot keep him here forever. If he wants to wander the stars, he should be able to. You let the rest of us.”

Kalvoxrencol moved to Seth’s other side, making a line. He scowled and light gathered under his scales, but he refrained from speaking, which was probably wise because I doubted he would remain calm.

“How can you say no to this, Father?” Hallonnixmin asked from behind us. I peered over my shoulder and he and Monqilcolnen stood behind us. “I’m sending Monqilcolnen to watch them.” He threw an arm over mine and Seth’s shoulders, which made Seth stiffen. “Besides, we’re stronger as a group.”

“I agree,” Mother said. “Zoltilvoxfyn should go.”

Father rubbed his forehead. “Fine, but, Hallonnixmin, you cannot go. I will not send all of my children into an unknown situation.”

“Thank you, Father,” Kalvoxrencol said.

He pointed at each of us. “I expect all of you to return. Unharmed. Is that understood?”

We all gave him our throats, besides Seth, who wiggled away from Hallonnixmin to press against Kalvoxrencol.

When Father and Mother left, I yanked Seth into a hug, squeezing him. He froze. I almost never initiated physical contact with anyone except my family, but I was so grateful. After a moment, his arms came about my back, and he patted me in halting movements.

“Thank you, Seth.”

“Y-you’re welcome,” he squeaked. I let him go, and Seth backed into Kalvoxrencol, who wrapped his arm around him.

“We need to go,” Monqilcolnen said.

Hallonnixmin took Monqilcolnen’s tail with his own. “You will take care of them, right?”

“Certainly.”

Looking at each of us, Hallonnixmin paused on Kalvoxrencol and ordered, “Behave.”

Kalvoxrencol rolled his eyes and pulled Seth down the hall. I dashed after them, heading to me and mine’s quarters. I needed to get Caleb. I refused to enter this unknown situation without him beside me.

I stepped into the shared space and didn’t see Caleb, but I wasn’t surprised. He promised to wait in bed for me. My cock stirred at the thought. I wished we had time to fuck, but we were expected on the shuttle shortly.

“Mate,” I said, opening the door, “we need to leave, but once this issue is resolved, I promise we can fuck as long as you like.” I paused. The bedroom was empty. My soul began to race. “Caleb?”

Silence was my answer.

“Caleb?” I called, racing around our quarters. He was nowhere in sight. Where was he? What happened? Did he vanish? Panic mixed with agony ripped through me. I gripped my hair. Where was my mate?

I forced myself to take a deep breath. Caleb had probably grown bored and gone to the greenhouse. I leaped out of the window and glided over to the glass structure. There was no one inside. As I wandered around the garden, calling his name, I didn’t find him.

With every moment that passed, the more tense I became. My mate was gone. I’d asked him to stay here, to wait for me. Caleb’s words came back to me. He’d asked me to trust him, but I didn’t know how to do that.

Every instinct in my body demanded I find Caleb and keep him right by my side. He was mine. I could not live without him beside me. I needed him. I returned to our quarters on the off chance he’d come back in the time I was gone.

Our quarters were empty.

“Caleb,” I called, chest heaving.

The chime came from the door, and I ignored it. Caleb might have gone to see Tinlorray for some reason. Why he had to do it right now, I could not say. Another ring came followed by Kalvoxrencol yelling, “Zoltilvoxfyn, open the door.”

I let him and Seth inside.

“Are you and Caleb ready?” Kalvoxrencol asked.

“He’s not here,” I said, throat tight.

“What?” Seth looked around, even though he couldn’t see Caleb.

“I asked him to wait, and he’s not here.”

Seth asked, “Did Caleb say anything?”

“He asked me to trust him if he was gone.”

“Then you should.”

Kalvoxrencol’s tail wrapped around mine. “Come on. Caleb will be safe, and he’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”

“Would you leave Seth?” I asked.

Seth laughed, shaking his head. “No. He wouldn’t. Shit, he’d rip the palace apart to find me.”

Kalvoxrencol frowned at his mate, but he didn’t say otherwise, because it was the truth. He would never leave his mate behind. I glanced around our quarters as my soul thrummed at a rapid pace. Caleb was gone. What if he passed on? The thought was like a claw to the gut—it ripped me open. I should want that because it would be the best thing for Caleb, but selfishly, I desired him to remain with me for forever.

Seth grabbed my hand. “Trust him, Fyn. Come on.”

I tightened my fingers around Seth’s much cooler ones and allowed him to pull me from me and mine’s quarters.

I stood in Command of Dontilvynsan’s ship. The scientists had sent out a greeting in every language we had access to, trying to find a way to communicate with the foreign ship. For all we knew, the vessel was empty, though that wasn’t likely from the sheer size of it. The ship was far too large to be a probe or unmanned shuttle.

No matter what we did to alter our sensors, the shield was impervious, so we had no way to know if the ship was experiencing mechanical issues or not. The sole thing our sensors perceived was the shield.

Dontilvynsan refused to fire on them first, unless ordered to do otherwise. Firstly because a shot would end any hope of this resolving peacefully, and secondly, because he didn’t know what type of weapons the ship possessed. But from their technology, it was safe to say their weapons would be powerful—more powerful than ours.

Seth and Dontilvynsan, who glanced at me frequently, chatted while Kalvoxrencol and Serlotminden added in occasionally. Each had ideas, as did the scientists and the one diplomat—a Fynlincoxmin—but I was unable to focus on anything besides the fact that Caleb was gone. My soul felt carved out. I was empty without him.

What if I’d done something wrong and he left? What if he’d moved on? What if I never saw him again?

“No,” Fynlincoxmin cried, waving his arms around dramatically. “That could upset them.”

“We don’t know who they are,” Kalvoxrencol snapped, “so how would it upset them?”

“Still that message is unnecessarily aggressive,” he continued in a loud voice. “Why have me, a skilled diplomat and a seeker soul who holds a prominent position in the Council of Seekers, if you are not going to listen to me?” he demanded, silver eyes flashing. The drakcol had dark gray scales with pink and gold glimpses of his skin. He was easily in his fifth decade, but his appearance suggested he was cycles younger. However, his delicate features and flamboyant aspect tickled some recognition deep within me.

I tried to focus on where I’d seen him instead of the all-consuming darkness within me. His name was somewhat familiar. He was obviously part of the peerage from his long name. Perhaps a very distant cousin. I wasn’t sure.

It hit me. Talvax. I had seen him with Talvax and Doctor Qinlin at some party. Why or how they knew this man escaped me, not that it mattered. I didn’t truly care. I didn’t care about any of this. I had been so desperate to leave the planet, and I stood here pointlessly.

A void of numbness consumed me, and everything around me had lost its importance. Why was I even here? I had nothing to offer like my brothers did. I never met with other species or represented my people. I was nothing. I should have remained on Tamkolvanloknol.

A voice yelled right before something crashed through me, making me shiver. The cold was so severe that it burned.

Caleb stood right in front of me.

“Caleb,” I gasped.

Kalvoxrencol whipped in my direction. “Caleb? He’s here?”

Dontilvynsan peered at me, and I tried to empty my mind so he wouldn’t hear me; though, it most likely didn’t matter. Dontilvynsan had probably already intercepted my bleak thoughts earlier.

Powerful joy swept through my body at the sight of Caleb standing in front of me. His brown curls, blue eyes, and strange clothes had never looked better. My mate was here. He was back.

“Caleb,” I said softly.

Caleb shivered. “Where are we, Sunshine?”

“Caleb.”

Everyone on Command was staring at me, and I didn’t care. My Caleb was here.

“Zoltilvoxfyn,” Dontilvynsan said, drawing my attention away from my mate. He stared at me, and I crossed my arms. He no doubt heard my thoughts and sensed my sweeping emotions, but I refused to be embarrassed. “Why don’t you take your mate outside for a moment to collect yourself.”

“He knows,” Seth whispered.

“I read thoughts, Seth Harris,” Dontilvynsan replied, and Seth blanched.

“You’re not mad?” I asked.

“At you?” he asked. “No. Pest and Speedy? Yes.”

“Why are you mad at us?” Kalvoxrencol demanded.

“No secrets, Pest. You or Serlotminden should have told me.”

“Now, Hallonnixmin is the only one who doesn’t know,” Monqilcolnen said, arms crossed and tail flicking in agitation.

I ignored them and focused on Caleb. How had he even gotten here? He had been on Tamkolvanloknol. Could he fly? I shook my head at the ridiculous thought. He couldn’t have left the atmosphere, let alone found me in space.

“Come, Mate.”

People watched as we, or rather I, left Command. I slammed my hand on the closest door, Dontilvynsan’s office, and directed Caleb inside. I pressed against him, then hissed. His soul was freezing, like ice. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Caleb.” I brushed his cheek, ignoring the sting. “What do you remember?”

“What?” His pupils were blown wide.

“Talk to me.”

Shivers wracked his body. “I kissed you and vanished. I don’t remember anything else.”

My soul dropped to the soles of my feet. “What?”

“I don’t remember.”

“No, Caleb. You vanished?”

Eyes unfocused, he answered, “I extended myself too far. When I focus to the extent I can touch something, it stresses my soul.”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me. Why would you do that?”

Caleb, my Caleb, finally looked at me, seeming like himself. “Because I wanted to, at least once. I deserve to kiss you, Fyn. I want you so bad. It kills me. I needed to be with you, even for a moment,” he snapped, hand on his chest. “I want this, even if I can’t actually have it.”

His words gutted me. I longed to touch him too, but I couldn’t risk him for that, for anything.

Caleb glanced around. “Where are we?”

“Dontilvynsan’s ship.”

“Space? I’m in space. How did I get here?”

I had no answer to give him because I was as confused as he was. Reaching out, I touched him and yanked back. “Why are you so cold?”

He shrugged. “Who knows, but it hurts.”

“What?” Spirits did not experience pain. They didn’t experience physical sensations whatsoever, according to Caleb.

He didn’t answer, and tremors continued to shake him. The edges of his soul were more blurred than usual, which allowed me to see through him. Normally, Caleb appeared solid, but now, his aspect was wispy. And gray. His fingers, ankles, and shoes were gray, and I saw the blue moss floor through him.

I shifted closer, ignoring the burn of the intense cold. “Put your hands on me, Mate.”

Caleb snuggled close, almost disappearing inside of me, and I swallowed a hiss. For once, I wished I had Kalvoxrencol’s inner fire. He could banish the cold plaguing Caleb with ease. Even Serlotminden with his ability to craft fire would be helpful, though the fire suppression systems would be triggered.

My mate stayed against me, and the chill slowly dimmed until he reached his normal frigid temperature. I kissed the top of his head, relishing the tingling. It was perfect. He was perfect.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I didn’t mean to. I came back. I will always come back. I promise, Sunshine.”

I looked down and swallowed. The edges of his hair were going gray. It was like the color or life was bleeding out of him. Caleb was coming apart. I wrapped my wings around him. I would not let him go. We would figure something out. We had to.