17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Do we both want this?

After Urgg left, Seth and I returned to my greenhouse, not talking about much, until Kalvoxrencol came. He drew his mate flush against him, and I easily saw the stress coming off Kalvoxrencol as he rocked his mate. When I tried to find out what happened, Kalvoxrencol asked to speak to me later, which I respected. He needed a moment with Seth.

Now, I was back in my quarters, pacing. Caleb was still not home. It was dark, and he wasn’t here. While I’d been with Seth, Caleb’s absence had been shoved into the recesses of my mind. With no distractions, I couldn’t think about anything else. I sank to the couch, clutching my knees.

My Caleb wasn’t here with me. Where he belonged.

“Sunshine.”

I started, wings sprawling, but I forced them back in place. Caleb bent slightly and cupped my cheek, thumb running over me. A coldness like ice swept over my cheekbone, making me shiver.

Something pulled in my gut, and a growl sounded in the back of my throat, need pulsing inside of me. Caleb blinked and started to move away, but I followed, extending the connection. He returned to holding my cheek as best he could.

I could stay in fear of what might happen or embrace what had started the instant I saw him. Caleb was mine, and I belonged to him. The other mediums had to have been wrong. Caleb wouldn’t fade. He’d been wandering for cycles with no ill effect. He could stay with me, if he desired to do so.

“How was Tinlorray?” I hadn’t thought of any way to help yet. I truly wasn’t sure what to do, as this was a new scenario. Caleb had decided to check on her again to keep his promise, but not to go near her.

“Determined. When I arrived, she wasn’t there, but when she came…” he trailed off.

“What?” I asked.

“She kept talking to him, like Yolkeltod was there. Like he heard her. Tinlorray was more put together. When the doctor came in, she said she knew Yolkeltod was there.”

“Should I talk to her?”

“How would that help?”

“I’m a medium, Caleb. It’s well known among the drakcol, though most don’t believe me. I can tell her Yolkeltod is gone. I can tell her about you.”

In the past, I’d helped the first two souls I’d met talk to their families. When they moved on, the families had gotten upset and called me a fake and blamed me for their grief. With the other souls, I had them talk to my family, but no one else. I shuddered at the thought of meeting this grieving woman, but I would for Caleb.

“You don’t want to.”

It was a statement, but I answered, “I don’t want to.”

“Then it will be fine. She will eventually realize Yolkeltod is gone.” When I opened my mouth to protest, his thumb stroked my bottom lip, making it tremble. “I don’t think she would believe you, Sunshine.”

“If you think so.”

“I do. Besides, you don’t have to do something you don’t want to. It will work out. I know it. Maybe not right now, but…” He lifted and lowered his shoulders. “It will be fine. Everything tends to work itself out, even if it’s not how we want it to.”

When Caleb bit his lip, I growled. I shifted toward him, then stopped myself. I didn’t have his permissions. I’d been skirting propriety and forging closer than was right. We also had never discussed how he felt. Caleb might not desire me how I did him. Boundaries needed to be respected.

Never had I crossed the line before, but I’d never felt this way before either.

“I’m sorry,” he said, backing away.

I followed him. “Don’t apologize.”

“I have to, Fyn. I keep doing this to you. I keep staring at you and touching you. Fuck, you don’t even like your brother’s touching you, and here I am groping you. I thought…”

Hope burned me like fire racing down my spine. “What?”

He glanced over his slight shoulder at me. “I thought maybe you might, you know, like me as well.”

My lips separated as my tail thrashed. He wanted me. My Caleb wanted me as much as I did him.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course, you don’t want this. Of course, you don’t like me. I’m dead. This is weird. I’m sorry. I like you. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I mean, you’re so amazing. How could I do anything but like you? But I shouldn’t have, you know—”

“Caleb,” I growled right behind him. My wings wrapped around him. He could step through them, but he didn’t. “Do not apologize. I want this.”

He turned around, biting his lip. “You do?”

“Yes. Yes,” I repeated, the words ripping out from somewhere deep within me. “I shouldn’t, but I do.”

“I’m dead.”

“Yes,” I replied. “I can’t change that. And Crystal help me, I don’t want you to move on, because I need you to stay with me.”

He smiled softly, staring up at me. “You do?”

“Yes.” My lips clamped together, but I had to tell him. “You don’t have to choose me, Caleb. You can move on. It’s what you should do.”

“I choose you.”

Fire burned along my veins and my cock surged to life. I struggled to keep it from erecting. I only partially succeeded, and I hoped he wouldn’t see it hardening in my trousers. “I’m keeping you, then,” I growled.

Caleb went up on his toes and said right against me, “Sounds good to me.”