11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

What’s my tether?

Zoltilvoxfyn worked around his greenhouse, dragging with each step. He’d agreed to help me, and shockingly, he hadn’t lorded over me the fact I’d changed my mind so quickly. He must be nicer than I’d thought. I mean, I didn’t know him. Maybe he was a saint, who knew? I would, soon, of course, because I didn’t plan to leave his side all that much, barring stalking Seth and Tinlorray—not stalking, guarding, protecting. Whatever.

I skipped after him, whistling. Every pressure that weighed me down yesterday had vanished as soon as I talked to Zoltilvoxfyn. He’d banished my guilt with a few simple words. He was like a beam of sunshine breaking up my cloudy day. I felt nothing, but I swore warmth came off Zoltilvoxfyn, and I wanted to bask in it.

When he almost dropped a potted succulent that, I kid you not, was neon orange with green polka dots, I asked, “Are you alright?”

“I didn’t sleep last night.”

“Why?”

His tail slashed behind him. “I was worried you wouldn’t come back, and if you did, you don’t know where my quarters are.”

“I’m not helpless,” I commented. Besides, what did he think would happen to me? A monster that ate souls would swoop out of the sky or something? Like really, what could happen? “I would’ve waited for you here or wandered around the palace.”

“I don’t think you’re helpless. I was simply available if you needed me.”

“Thanks.” An urge to hug him swept through me. God, I missed touching people. I was starved for it. I would give almost anything to curl up against his broad chest.

He cleared his throat and went back to work, but his tail kept twitching incessantly while his wings rustled on his back. What did they look like? I imagined his wings were no different than any of the other drakcol’s I’d seen, but I wanted to see his .

“I’m going to have to give you an endearment,” I announced. Drakcol didn’t have nicknames the way we did. They didn’t shorten their names, because they had some kind of class structure attached to them, which no one had explained. But they did give fun endearments, like Kal’s brothers calling him “Pest.”

“Why?”

“Your name is too long.”

“I am a prince.”

Like I’d said, class structure. “So I can’t give you one?”

Zoltilvoxfyn peered over his shoulder. “What name?”

My lips pursed as I thought it over. His name left a lot of choices for nicknames, the most obvious ones: Zol or Fyn. But I didn’t want to shorten his name like a human, but rather call him something another drakcol might.

Suddenly, I bounced up to him. “Sunshine”

“Excuse me?”

“I'm going to call you Sunshine.” He was my light now.

He stared at me with his impossibly green eyes, and I held his gaze. Eventually, he replied, “Fine.”

“Sunshine,” I said. The Drakconese word was three syllables and hard to pronounce, but if I said it in English, he wouldn’t understand me.

He muttered, “At least it’s longer than what Seth calls Kalvoxrencol.”

“So how do I move on to the Great Beyond or whatever you call it?”

“I do not know.”

“Seriously? Aren’t you my guide to whatever comes next?”

“I haven’t met many spirits, and they all knew why they were still here. You have no idea?”

“Nope. None. Absolutely blank. I’m floating around, basking in the cluelessness of my existence.”

“Interesting.” He started toward the door of the greenhouse. “If you don’t mind, I would like to eat while we talk about this.”

That sounded suspiciously like a date, which oddly made me feel rather light, like I could fly. Ooo, flying. That would be cool. I’d tried again and again to fly, but I couldn’t unlearn gravity’s control on me. It was too constant, and my soul refused to let go. The most I’d been able to accomplish was floating, and only for a little bit. Not even close to actual flying.

“Sure,” I said. “I don’t mind.” A date with a hot drakcol , I sang in my mind, though I couldn’t stop humming.

We left the terrace and went to a different part of the palace I hadn’t seen. His suite was on the other side of the palace from Seth and Kalvoxrencol’s.

Two arched windows were across from the door, overlooking the garden; the balcony off them was covered with even more plants. The living room had a divan on a thick rug that spread over the floor. Plants filled every available space, including light green and blue vines covering the ceiling. To the right was a wide open space with a cylindrical dummy that I assumed was for fighting. A half wall separated the living room from a space with a low table and woven mats. Much like Kalvoxrencol and Seth’s rooms, two doors were off the dining area.

To the right of the front entrance was another door that probably led to his bedroom. I peeked at Zoltilvoxfyn, then back at his room, fighting the urge to explore. Sunshine would see me, though, and I might make him uncomfortable if I looked at all of his stuff.

Since I died, I’d become extremely nosy and lost most, if not all, of my manners. No one ever saw me, so peeking inside people’s medicine cabinets wasn't rude. Well, it was, and Nana would’ve scolded me something fierce, but no one knew. So no harm done. Besides, it was interesting to learn what different aliens kept in their private spaces.

Zoltilvoxfyn changed that. His presence stopped my normal snooping and subsequent commentary about whatever I’d found.

He went to the dining area and thumbed through the choices on the dispenser before coming my way with a plate covered in fruit, bread, and meat (a normal drakcol meal as far as I’d witnessed). He sat on the couch, crossing his legs and resting his plate on them.

“You can sit next to me if my eating doesn’t bother you,” he offered.

I plunked down next to him. “So what do I do? How do I move on? What’s wrong with me? Do you think something’s wrong with me? What if I can’t move on? Will I be stuck here forever? Oh my god, what if I’m cursed? Do you even believe in curses? Does curses even mean the same thing in Drakconese?”

“Well,” he said, taking a bite of a purple fruit and showing off his gleaming canines, seemingly unbothered by my chatter, “we need to ascertain what your tether to the mortal plane is.”

We . He’d said we. I liked that. A lot. We. I stifled a giggle. I sat criss-cross-applesauce and scooted as close as possible before my knees brushed him and ruined the illusion that I was alive and this wasn’t a date. I would’ve never had a chance with him if I was alive. And, let’s be honest, this wasn’t a date, but I had to get my kicks from somewhere. Zoltilvoxfyn didn’t need to know.

No harm, no foul.

“How are we going to figure that out? Do you have like a…” I stalled, unable to think of a Drakconese word for “ray” or “sensor,” so I settled with, “prodding technology?”

“No. There is no technology that will aid us in this. I will read through all of the previous medium documentation, and you will tell me about your life and afterlife in the hopes we can figure out what it is.”

My knees bounced. “I can do that. Talking is my jam .”

His forehead furrowed at the last word. I’d said in English because I didn’t know the equivalent in Drakconese. Zoltilvoxfyn ignored it and said, “Tell me about your family.”

“What’s to say? They moved on already.”

He took a bite of flatbread. “That’s not talking, Caleb.”

So I proceeded to talk. My family was ordinary. My parents had been office workers, I was the youngest of four kids. I’d had plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles. Nana, my dad’s mom, had been a huge part of my life. I’d spent every summer with her in Bakersfield.

Sunshine listened, tail smoothly sliding back and forth. Occasionally, he would pose a question, then fall silent again. His head cocked to the side as he listened. My gaze landed on the studs in his tapered ears and down to the long earrings in his lobes. The golden chains twinkled in the light as rough-cut emeralds brushed his neck. My fingers twitched, longing to touch them, to trail them down to his long neck.

Unbidden, my eyes flicked to his chest. Maybe he had other things pierced. I swallowed. I was unlikely to find out, unfortunately.

“Caleb?”

I started. “What?” I asked thickly.

“You stopped talking.”

He’d distracted me. The piercing in his septum distracted me too. I had a random urge to flick the golden ring with my tongue, which was new. Jewelry had never been a turn-on for me, but Zoltilvoxfyn wore it well.

“Caleb,” he said again, his head dipping to catch my eye. “Are you well?”

No. I was pretty sure I wasn’t. I was pretty damn sure I was developing a crush on Zoltilvoxfyn. Whether it was because he was hot or because he was nice or because he saw me didn’t matter. It would never work out. I was dead.

“Why do you wear so much jewelry?” I asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Every drakcol I’ve seen wears a considerable amount of jewelry.”

Sunshine took another bite of food. “I’ve never even thought about that. It’s simply a part of our culture. If I had to guess, I believe it came from when we were warring clans before the Crystal chose the first empress who united us. I know jewelry was taken as spoils of war. When we killed an enemy, we would strip their bodies of valuables, claiming them for ourselves. The more jewelry signaled who the greater warriors were. We no longer do such, but we all still wear jewelry.”

My eyes ran over his multiple piercings, longing to kiss them, tug on them, play with them. The knowledge I couldn’t, in no way, dampened the desire.

“Little Soul, you stopped speaking again. Are you well?”

I forced a smile to my lips. “I’m fine.”

“Then continue.”

“I'm bored of talking about myself. Tell me about you.”

“Why? You’re who’s important right now.”

His words burned my soul. “Because I want you to.”

He turned on the couch, resting his back against the tall arm. “What do you wish to know?”

Everything, honestly. But I had to start somewhere. “When did you start seeing ghosts?”

“I always remember seeing people that others did not. I told my parents and many others when I was young, and I spent some time in different medical facilities getting tested.”

“They didn’t know it was your inner fire thing?” I asked.

“Mediums are rare, exceedingly so. One of the Crystal’s priests was the first to figure it out when I perfectly described his older sister who’d died. She had a message to pass on to him, which I did.”

I shifted nearer to him, needing at least the illusion that I could touch him. “What happened after you found out?”

“It was nice in some ways,” he said, elbows resting on his knees. His hair covered him like a cloak, distracting me as I followed the white strands hanging around his body. “Before I’d found out, people thought I was insane, and many children teased me. I was odd. Though after my inner fire was known, many people still poked at me.”

“Being the butt of the joke is never pleasant. I was teased because of my height.”

“So you are short for your species?” he asked, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He asked it in such an earnest way like he’d been truly wondering.

“I’m shorter than average for men. Seth is about average height for human males.” Well, in the US, but my Drakconese wasn’t good enough to explain the different countries and ethnicities Earth had.

“I like your height.”

I practically preened. “Thanks. I love your gift.”

A laugh, a real one, tumbled out of his lips, sending a thrill through me as toasty sunlight rushed over me. True warmth. It was distant, but there. I was sure of it. New, but oh so real.

“I’m sure you do,” he said, practically bent in half as he chuckled.

“Why did people make fun of you for it?”

He sobered up so fast that I instantly regretted the question. He said, “They thought I was lying, and I was different. People don’t treat different well.”

“It’s the same on my planet.”

“Humans and drakcol are more similar than I would have guessed. Though I should have known because Seth and Kalvoxrencol are able to mind speak.”

“What?”

“Drakcol who are bonded by the Crystal can speak mind to mind. Usually, it doesn’t work with other species, but Seth and Kalvoxrencol can.”

“Aren’t all drakcol mates bonded by the Crystal?”

“There are two different types of mates: chosen and bound. Chosen is when a drakcol starts to perceive someone as their mate, usually after they have fallen in love. The mate bond naturally forms. Bound mates are when a drakcol seeks the Crystal for their soulmate, if they have one. The soulmates are genetically linked in a ceremony, then reaffirm or shatter their bond in front of the Crystal.”

“That’s awesome.”

“It is,” he replied.

“Why doesn’t everyone do that?”

“Not everyone has a soulmate, and learning that you don’t have one is hard to accept.”

I got that.

“There is also the fear of what might happen.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Whether bound or chosen, we brave the threat of rejection or death,” Zoltilvoxfyn said. “Drakcol don’t often survive the loss of our mates. We love too wholly and completely. If our mate rejects us or they die, chosen or bound, we most often wither away. Mates are important, and we mate but once.”

That was so romantic and yet sad. To have your whole life dependent on another like that was terrifying. It was a wonder any drakcol fell in love or sought the Crystal.

“So,” I said, changing the subject, “you have four brothers?”

“Three older. One younger.”

“I have three brothers, all older.”

“So you are the pest for your family?” he asked.

I chuckled. “Most definitely.”

When his eyes crinkled in humor, I swore I felt something again—something soft and slight, but so warm.

The three moons and unfamiliar stars hung over me. I was sitting on Zoltilvoxfyn’s balcony, watching the city that was full of lights. The glass spires twinkled in the moonlight, giving it a magical air. He’d told me I could stay here overnight, and I got the impression from the way he insisted, multiple times, that he would feel more comfortable if I did.

Would I sit here every night? No, I would not. It would bore the ever-living hell out of me. But it wouldn’t hurt to sit here for the first night to make him happy.

A breeze blew through the leaves, rattling them, and I pretended it ruffled my hair, even though I’d forgotten what that truly felt like.

Twenty-three years was a very long time.

I was pretty sure that I hadn’t imagined feeling something before. It had been more than emotional phantoms. It had been physical. A whisper-soft touch on my hand when Zoltilvoxfyn stared at me, and then the warmth when he laughed. I felt it. Truly. Faint and basically non-existent, but it was like a brand burning my memories.

I burrowed against my knees, hiding a smile. It was ridiculous, this blooming crush, but I couldn’t stop it, and if I was going to be honest with myself, I didn’t want to. How long had it been since I’d cared about someone?

Yes, I cared about Seth because he was a human far from home, but I didn’t know him. Wyn seemed nice, as did Captain Talvax, Urgg, and Commander Monqilcolnen, but I didn’t truly care about any of them on a personal level.

Sunshine was different.

Somehow, though, I doubted he was interested in dating a ghost.