Chapter 31

I tugged on my shoes.

“Are you sure about this, Seth? The last time you ran away, Prince Kalvoxrencol didn’t react well,” NAID said, lips pinched.

“Difference, I’m not leaving the ship.”

“True,” she said slowly. “And why are you running?”

Kal’s words from last night repeated on a never-ending loop. He loved me. He loved me. “I need space.”

“Right. Space. Sure. That’s not a lie or anything. Have you tried talking to him? Prince cares about you a great deal.”

That was the problem.

As I stepped out of my room, I was extremely quiet because I didn’t want to wake Kal. Last night had been awkward, and I didn’t have a response this morning either. I couldn’t even think about Kal’s words without breaking into a cold sweat.

I had no idea where to go, but I needed space. To be able to think without hurting him like I probably had last night.

I headed to the garden and crept to the access hatch I’d hidden in before. I rested against the window, staring out into space. My thoughts swirled around Kal and his confession.

No one had told me they loved me in years. Not my grandparents. Not Analise. Not Travis. Not Vince. No one. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard it. Probably not since my mother had died.

Kal had said the words like they cost nothing. Like they were easy.

When he said it, a blind terror had filled me. Even thinking about his confession made alarms screech in my head, and I didn’t know why.

I buried all thoughts of the powerful yet terrifying words and forced myself to focus on our game. It was much easier to plan the next phase than think about what might happen.

“Seth?” I asked, knocking on his door. “My Seth. Please.” Apparently, we weren’t going to talk about this.

“NAID?”

“Yes, Prince?” she asked, appearing as a human. More often than not now, she used the old human woman’s appearance, even on other parts of the ship. The scientists were beyond thrilled at this show of independence. My father had asked me to oversee the project while I was on the Admiral Ven, though I didn’t do much more than check in with Doctor Qinlin occasionally and read reports about NAID’s coding during her and Seth’s conversations.

“Where is Seth?”

“I don’t know.”

“What?” I asked, breath freezing in my lungs.

“He did not take his touchstone. When I did my last internal sensor sweep, he didn’t register.”

“Why didn’t you notify me immediately?” I demanded. Where was he?

“Seth is on the ship. I simply don’t know where he is.”

I wanted to order Talvax to search the ship until Seth was found, but he’d left his touchstone behind on purpose. I took a deep breath and forced myself to sit down. Seth was safe, theoretically. The ship wasn’t crime free, but he should be fine.

“If he appears on your scanners, notify me,” I ordered.

“Good job. Edith Smith would be proud.”

“Who?”

“A human woman who makes inspirational videos. I wear her face. I’m proud of you too,” she whispered before disappearing.

I snorted. Not tracking Seth down might be a small show of trust, but it felt horrible.

Hunger finally drove me to leave my nook. The marketplace was considerably busier this time. I kept to the side as much as possible, winding through the crowd. I had to take several deep breaths as people of many different types swelled around me. At one point, the crowd grew so oppressive, I had to fight back the urge to puke and forge forward.

When I finally reached the elevator, I was alone. I slapped the button and the floor jolted, rising to the third floor. Our door loomed before me and sweat dripped down my back. I wanted to turn around and flee.

I could always eat in the cafeteria or back in the marketplace, but that would mean facing hordes of people and possible conversations. Not willing to deal with that, I went inside.

Kal stood from where he sat on the couch.

I shook my head. Nope. I darted toward my room. His arms came around my waist, catching me.

When I stiffened, he released me and said, “Sorry. I didn’t ask permission.”

The hurt was obvious in his tone. I didn’t want to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him, but his confession had surprised me. I drew his arm around me. When I sagged against his chest, his other arm joined the first.

His nose pressed against my neck, taking a deep breath. “Please don’t run.”

“I don’t know how to deal with everything.”

“I don’t either.”

“Were you telling the truth?” I asked.

“Yes.” He kissed my neck. “Are we alright?”

“I don’t know.”

Kal’s arms tightened, basically squeezing the life out of me. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

I wriggled. Kal held me fast for a second before letting go and allowing me to turn around. “Don’t,” I said. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m… odd.”

“No, you’re perfect.”

A breathy laugh escaped my lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

Before he could close the distance, I kissed him. Our lips molded together. I kept the pressure soft and the tempo unhurried. I wasn’t even close to ready to return his words, but I wanted to soothe some of the pain I’d caused.

His hands squeezed my hips and his tail ran up my leg, creating tingles in its path. When his tail tickled the edge of my ass, I groaned. Kal’s textured tongue dipped into my mouth and swiped against mine. I clutched his silky hair to keep him close, relishing the rough swipe of his tongue.

Kal drew back, then pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

I’d expected this to be awkward, but it wasn’t. I thought he’d get mad at me for not responding to his confession, but he hadn’t. Kal kept surprising me. Time and time again, he proved himself trustworthy.

“Thank you.”

“For what, my Seth?” he asked, arms crossing over the small of my back and holding me securely in his embrace.

“Not getting mad.”

“Why would I get mad? You’re allowed to feel how you want.”

I kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. Kal groaned and gathered me close. I tangled my fingers in his hair again, but this time, desperation laced my movements. I needed to get closer to Kal. The kiss turned hot and wet.

My stomach grumbled, and Kal chuckled against my mouth. “No,” I protested.

Food could wait.

“You need to eat.”

“Later.” I pressed my lips against his. Kal returned my kiss, hands clamped onto my hips. I ground against him and bit his lip. He grunted, pushing me to the couch. When the backs of my legs hit the cushion, I started to sit, breaking contact with him. Kal hung over me, panting. I yanked him down by the front of his shirt, making him settle on top of me.

My legs hooked around his hips, drawing him close so I could grind my hard dick against him. I moaned at the friction. Kal growled as he started to swell. I nibbled on his lips, then licked him. Kal met me movement for movement until we rutted against each other, bringing me closer to the edge.

Breaking away, breath harsh, I stared up at him, and he watched me with his gleaming purple eyes. He slipped a hand under my shirt, stroking the bare skin on my side. His fingers were so hot. I moaned, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I was desperate to get closer to him, and even with my legs trapping him against me and my tongue in his mouth, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to fuck him. Now.

Kal shifted back, though he couldn’t get far. “My Seth. We need to talk before this goes further.”

He always wanted to talk when it came to physical crap, but I couldn’t get him to tell me about his past. Figures. “Do we have to?”

“Yes.”

A loud rumble cut through the tension like a knife, and Kal chuckled, dislodging my legs as he stood. “Let’s eat and talk.”

When he helped me up, I rearranged my pants. They were tenting obscenely from my erection. A quick glance at Kal assured me he wasn’t any better. I quickly averted my eyes or else I would tackle him.

Our fingers interlaced and his tail curled about my leg—the pressure was comforting, and now, familiar. He led me to the table, and I sat down, trying to ignore my aching dick, and Kal went to the food dispenser.

After a minute, he laid a plate full of food on the table. I picked up a tuo berry and popped it into my mouth, then said, “Eat something.”

He picked up a piece of flatbread and took a bite. “So, sex?”

I sputtered, food spraying the table. Kal laughed, but when I hacked, he started to stand. I waved off his concern, choking. He continued to stand and got me a glass of water, and I chugged it. I coughed one more time before swallowing compulsively.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yep,” I said, face on fire.

“Seth, it”s a conversation. Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want to. We’re talking, nothing more.”

“Yep, yep, yep.” I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I rocked back and forth, not wanting to talk about this. Sex was nothing new, but trying to articulate it was beyond me.

“Look at me, please,” he asked, voice soft.

I did.

“We don’t have to talk if you’re uncomfortable, but until we do, I don’t want to have sex,” Kal said. “I want to fuck you. Badly. But I need to talk first. It’s what my people do.”

The direct conversation was more difficult than anticipated. In the past, I’d gone along with whatever my partner wanted. We had never discussed anything. Which is a problem, I told myself sternly. I took a deep breath. Kal would not get mad. He was a safe person. He was my person.

“I want to,” I said in a forced tone. “But what will it mean for the future?” In the moment, I hadn’t cared; now that my brain was working again, I couldn’t help but be concerned. Would that one act make my choice for me?

“As far as my species goes, sex won’t change anything physically. You’re already my mate, and sex won’t change that. Emotionally…” Kal stopped.

“Will it be too hard?” I asked.

“In some ways, yes. I won’t want to give you up. Not that I want to give you up now.”

That would present a problem if I chose to go home.

“Also, before we go any further, I would like to know what you do and don’t like. My permissions,” he continued. “What you’re comfortable with. The conversation doesn’t have to be extensive, but I do need some guidelines, Seth.”

“Right.” I tugged at the collar of my shirt, inexplicably uncomfortable.

“Are you done for now?”

“Yeah. Yep.”

Kal walked around the table to sit beside me. His tail curled about my wrist. Other than that, he didn’t touch me. I struggled to breathe as dots floated across my vision. I sagged against him, and Kal’s arms hooked around my waist. He placed a kiss on the top of my head. I focused on the solid feel of him against me, the smell of the spicy scent he wore, and the sound of Lucy playing with one of her crinkle toys in the background.

All was well; Kal was here.